If We Dare to Dream

by Collette Scott

  Adam’s eyes narrowed slightly as he watched the interaction. Eyes sparking with an unidentifiable emotion, he gave her a slow and careful once over, but the measuring assessment felt lewd to her already hypersensitive opinion. Brother or not, she was distinctly uncomfortable.

  Once again Andrew came to the rescue. His voice was sharp and commanding, the authoritative tone taking Jamie by surprise. She was not used to seeing Andrew so assertive. “Adam,” he barked.

  The younger man forced his attention back to his brother. “Completely my fault. I guess I’m a little high strung,” he said holding out his hand with a short laugh. “I’m Adam.”

  “Jamie.” Her hand trembled slightly when she accepted his grip. As firm in greeting as it was against her throat, his hand was slow to release hers. She shifted uncomfortably and again resisted the urge to hide behind Andrew.

  With a cool smile that did not reach his eyes, he gave her yet another once over. “I’ve heard a lot about you, Jamie… It’s nice to meet you.” Without waiting for a response, he turned on his heel and brushed past them both. “I’ll see you inside.”

  Andrew only waited to make sure he did not turn back before he turned to face her. “Are you okay?”

  When she raised her gaze to meet his worried stare, she was surprised at the extent of emotion on his face. Though she had learned that he was a gentle and empathetic man, he was no longer one to reveal what he was thinking. After all, she had only seen him laugh on one occasion. So when she saw the fear and anger on his face mingled with concern and panic in his pale eyes, she attempted to smile. The mollifying parting of her lips did not register with him, for her upturned face revealed her neck fully to him.

  “He hurt you,” he snapped.

  Despite his obvious fury, he reached out and gently tilted her chin to fully inspect the marks on her neck. Though she could not see them herself, the tightening of his lips told her everything she needed to know.

  “I’m fine,” she said hoarsely.

  His voice was cold. “I’ll take care of this.”

  “No, Andrew, it’s okay. I’m fine.”

  She shook her head to emphasize her point, only to stop when the clip holding her hair tumbled to the floor in pieces. Andrew watched as her hair tumbled free in a tangled, curling mass around her shoulders. Her hand shot out to catch it, but Andrew reached out and captured her wrist.

  “Leave it… It’s nice.”

  Drawing her hand away from her hair in a gentle grip, he reached out with his other hand and loosened the remaining strands caught in the twist, de-tangling the wavy curls around her shoulders with his unskilled fingers. Jamie was frozen to the spot, so taken aback by his action that she was afraid to move. Though his movements were inexperienced and bordered on clumsy, the look of awe and appreciation in his anxious eyes made everything else seem to fade away, and that warm feeling she had in her belly after their kiss returned. When he was satisfied with his work, he bent and retrieved the broken plastic clip, grasping the two pieces and handing them to her apologetically.

  “I’ll replace that,” he said huskily.

  “It’s okay. It’s so hot that I have plenty to spare.”

  “I noticed you always have your hair up.”

  He had? She stared up at him, again surprised. He had the grace to look a little uncomfortable and changed the subject quickly.

  “Are you sure you’re okay? You sure he didn’t hurt you?”

  “More startled than anything,” she responded softly. “I thought it was you in here.”

  “I was waiting in the house.”

  “I heard him moving around in here and thought you were feeding the horses. He was bent over the feed tins looking for something, I guess. I must have startled him like he said.”

  “Don’t make excuses for him,” he growled. “He should know better by now.”

  Know better? She frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?”

  He shrugged. “It’s a thing lots of guys come home with after their deployment.”

  “They do?”

  He cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable with the direction their conversation was taking. Still, he spoke patiently. “When you’re in combat, Jamie, you tend to get a little too defensive at times. Sometimes it’s hard to let it go when you get home.”

  “I’ve never seen you react that way,” she protested.

  “Just because you haven’t seen it doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened. I’m still jumpy, too.”

  Before she could stop herself, she reached up and cupped his cheek. Though his jaw flexed under her hand, this time he did not flinch. “You’ve been through so much, Andrew.”

  The corners of his mouth deepened in his attempt at a smile. With warm fingers, he captured her hand and drew it away from his face. “But I’m still here, aren’t I?”

  “For that I am eternally grateful,” she said, realizing that she meant it. Very much.

  His response was to squeeze her hand encouragingly before letting her go, but Jamie was satisfied with that. After their fiasco up on the mountain, she was just pleased that he was not running away from her, and she felt better seeing some of the restrained rage ease out of him.

  “We better go before Grandma sends out the search team.”

  With one last critical perusal of her neck, he indicated with his arm that she should precede him. Like a silent ghost, he followed close behind her. Jamie felt less self-conscious, for one thing had become clear during their brief conversation in the barn. He was not immune to her any more than she was to him. There was no doubt that there was something growing between them. Only one question remained. How much longer could they avoid it?

  Chapter 13

  As soon as Jamie entered the kitchen, she saw why Andrew’s phone had gone straight to voice mail. Though only a few weeks old, the phone was in several pieces in a bowl of rice on the counter. It was not hard to determine what had happened.

  “Did your phone get wet?”

  His gaze followed hers to the counter and a slight flush rose on his cheeks. “Damn technology. Things are so sensitive nowadays.”

  She chuckled. “I tried to call you a couple of times. I thought you were avoiding me.”

  Confusion replaced his embarrassment, and he frowned slightly. “Avoiding you? Why?”

  When she did not answer immediately a look of understanding suddenly rose on his face. He glanced away and cleared his throat. “No, I wasn’t avoiding you, Jamie.”

  “What happened to the phone?”

  Just as eager to change the conversation as she was, Andrew shook his head. “I was filling the water trough last night, and it slipped out of my pocket.”

  “It’s completely ruined?”

  “Yep. Off to buy a new one. I’ll pick it up after work.”

  Hearing their voices in the kitchen, Linda came bustling in with her shy smile and warm eyes. “Oh, you’re here just in time, Jamie. We’ve just finished setting the table.”

  Jamie slapped her forehead. “Darn, I brought something. It’s out in my car. Give me just a sec?”

  “I’ll get it for you.” When her mouth opened in protest, Andrew shook his head and stared meaningfully at her neck. “No, I’ll get it. Go sit down.”

  Jamie watched as he exited then turned to Linda to help her gather up the remaining dishes on the counter. The smell of fresh-baked rolls and steamed asparagus filled her nostrils. Her stomach growled as Linda sighed.

  “Now that’s a good boy,” Linda said wistfully.

  “He is,” Jamie agreed.

  “I’m glad you came. Adam’s here for a visit, and Andrew got some news that he wanted to share with you. He’s refused to talk about it so far. He was waiting for you before he’d announce it to us…”

  This was new to Jamie, and her brows shot up in surprise. “Really?”

  “Well, that’s what he said this morning.”

  Linda led the way back into the dining room. It was an area of the house that Jami
e had not visited before, and she could not resist her curious gaze as it traveled through the elegantly furnished and spacious home. The same wood beams that supported the back and front patios were present in the dining area as well, and a long line of floor to ceiling windows faced the mountain, more specifically the canyon she and Andrew had ridden to. She stared at the magnificent sight before her, taking note of a massive saguaro cactus whose arms seemed to point where the cabin was hidden in the trees. Feeling warm again, she remembered their kiss and the way he had stared at her that evening when her hair fell free.

  Sighing, she returned her attention to the table. The highly polished mahogany table was set with fine china and crystal wine glasses. Burnt copper napkins matched the array of orange and red roses in the centerpiece. She was about to comment on the elegant array and beautiful views when she suddenly felt tense.

  Adam had arrived.

  He had showered and changed from the red t-shirt and cargo shorts she had seen him in outside to a button-down, pale green shirt and khaki slacks, and his short hair glistened with water. The musky smell of his recently applied cologne tickled her nose, but it was a pleasant scent and not unattractive. This Adam was almost a different person from the wild-eyed man that had attacked her outside. Clean-cut and sporting a charming smile, he reminded her so much of Andrew the night she met him that Jamie shook her head.

  “Hi Jamie,” he said as he entered. “Like that view?”

  So he wanted to start over, she realized. She responded cautiously. “This room is angled perfectly.”

  His brows rose in surprise. “You haven’t seen the house yet?”

  “Not all of it,” she replied with a shake of her head.

  “After dinner we’ll give you a full tour. My grandfather, my brother and I built this house. You think the view in here is nice, you should see the living room. It faces off to the Flatiron. My grandfather angled the house exactly right to take the best of the views from all directions.”

  “You did a fabulous job. It must’ve been a lot of work.”

  He chuckled, but like before the amusement did not reach his eyes. “I hated every minute, but my grandfather insisted.”

  Jamie attempted an understanding smile. “I can imagine. Your grandfather sounds like a very clever man.”

  “He was. Smartest man I knew.”

  His voice was almost too friendly, she thought nervously. His movements were quick, jerky, unpredictable even. She breathed a sigh of relief when Linda reappeared with Arlene following right after.

  “Sorry I’m late,” Arlene said reaching for Jamie’s hands. Jamie approached and was pulled down for another warm hug. “I’m glad you could make it.”

  Jamie was aware that Adam was watching her interact with his family and wondered what he could be thinking. It must have been quite a shock for him to hear that his brother was not only released from prison, but already had a woman friend his capable grandmother and Linda knew personally.

  “I’m glad to be here. I was just meeting Adam, and I forgot to say welcome home.”

  Giving her a brusque nod, he stared beyond her to smile at his grandmother. “Thank you.”

  “Has it been a while since you were here last?”

  He shrugged. “Yeah, actually. I was on deployment then back to the base. I haven’t used any leave time in a while.”

  “So it must feel good to be back again?”

  “A lot’s changed.”

  “When did you fly in?”

  “Last night.”

  Jamie struggled to keep the conversation rolling, but Adam was not very forthcoming about his private life. “And how long are you here for?”

  “I’m on leave for thirty days, but we’ll see how long I stay here. Right now, I’m not sure.”

  As he spoke, his eyes drifted to the doorway. Andrew was standing with her bottle of wine in his hand, appearing tall and devastatingly handsome. His gaze scanned the room before coming to rest on her. “Do you want this chilled?”

  Linda pushed away from her seat on Arlene’s right and reached for the bottle. “We have a nice ice bucket I can put that in. Let me take it and go sit down, Andrew. Everything’s going to get cold.”

  “She’s right,” Arlene said quickly. “I apologize for being tardy. I had a bit of trouble with my wheel here, but it’s better now.”

  “I’ll look at it after dinner,” Andrew said as he pulled out the chair next to Linda for Jamie.

  Smiling her thanks, Jamie sat down and watched as Andrew and Adam took their seats. They exchanged glares, and for a moment she feared another blow out. Apparently there was still a lot of repressed emotion between them, and the episode in the barn had not made it any better. Luckily Linda returned, carrying the wine bucket filled with ice and smiling from ear to ear. She regained her seat and spread her napkin on her lap, which prompted everyone else to do the same.

  “Jamie, you’re amazing. You picked a Cabernet Sauvignon, which is perfect with the pot roast. How did you know?”

  Jamie smiled. “My sister-in-law is quite the connoisseur. She taught me well.”

  “Andrew, would you carve the meat?” Arlene asked.

  Andrew shook his head. “I’m not the guest of honor. That task should go to Adam.”

  “You’re absolutely right,” Linda said cheerfully.

  Arlene nodded and watched as Andrew handed the blade and fork to Adam. While Adam set about carving the meat, Andrew reached for the wine and deftly removed the cork. It sprung open with a solid pop which caused Adam to noticeably flinch. The knife clattered to the plate, but everyone studiously busied themselves while he hastily picked it back up. Jamie caught Andrew watching Adam out of the corner of his eye while he continued pouring out four glasses of wine, but to all obvious appearances no one had paid him any mind.

  Struggling to do the same, Jamie watched Andrew. She had never seen him drink alcohol before, and this time was not any different. His glass contained only a drop of wine in it, enough for one toast. It was a curious fact about him that she wanted to discuss, but with tensions still high she decided it would have to wait for another time.

  A wise decision, she realized just a moment later. As soon as Adam finished carving the meat, Andrew lifted his glass and indicated that they all follow suit. His eyes went around the table and rested on each one of them before he finally spoke.

  “I just wanted to let you know that it’s officially over. All charges against me have been dropped, there will be no civil suit, and I am completely exonerated. The case has been reopened, and I’m also back in good standing with the Army.” He paused and turned his attention to Jamie, holding his glass toward her. “I could never have done any of this without your help, Jamie. Thank you.”

  “Hear, hear!”

  Everyone cheered while Jamie bit back the sudden sting of tears. She reached out and grasped his hand. “I’m happy for you, Andrew.”

  “We all are!” Adam announced, though his voice lacked conviction.

  “It’s time to put this all behind us. I know it’s been a long and difficult time for you, but you have survived, and I think you’re a better man for it. Now you can embrace your future with a true sense of value.” Arlene held up her glass one more time and turned her attention to Adam. Her eyes shone with unshed tears as well, but her voice was firm. “And I would like to toast Adam’s return. We’ve missed you, and I’m one of the happiest ladies alive to have both her boys back home safely after all the terrors you’ve both faced.”

  “Thanks,” Adam said. “It’s good to be home.”

  Plates full and glasses nearly empty, everyone dug in. It was one of the best meals Jamie had tasted, even in comparison to Isabel and Torie’s cooking. Linda had gone all out in steaming her vegetables, whipping her potatoes, baking her buns, and most especially preparing her roast. The meat was so fresh and perfectly prepared that it almost melted on their tongues. All around the table murmurs of appreciation rose, and Linda colored under all of the atten
tion.

  Once they had taken their initial bites, Adam’s attention returned to her, and she noticed that he toyed with his steak knife the entire time they spoke. The way he spun it from the tip concerned her, for he was entirely too skilled with a blade for her comfort. She could easily imagine him thrusting it into someone’s chest.

  “So you’re the girl that came forward? I didn’t know that.”

  Jamie nodded, carefully watching his sporadic actions. “When I moved back to Arizona I saw a story about the case.”

  He noticed her slight defensive tone and smiled. “Yeah, too bad you couldn’t have been there when it first happened and saved Andrew a few years of his life.”

  Jamie flushed but kept her chin high. “Had I known they were looking for me, I most certainly would have.”

  Andrew frowned at Adam in warning. “Jamie did everything she could. I wouldn’t be here now without her excellent memory.”

  Jamie sent him a thankful glance and swiftly changed the subject. “So Adam, I understand you’re recently home from overseas?”

  Skillfully flipping the knife, he caught it in his hand and returned to his plate. After cutting several more pieces, he looked up with a similar expression that Andrew bestowed on her a few times. That look gave her the chills for it was almost lifeless, cold and distant. “I’ve been in Iraq several times over the years. My last deployment lasted thirteen months.”

  She sighed. “I’m sorry you’ve been away from your family so much. I’ve heard many mixed stories about the events over there.”

  Andrew and Adam exchanged a look of brotherly understanding. Then Adam shrugged. “Don’t believe everything you read. There are good things happening over there and there are bad. Back home, the media and politicians spin it in the direction they want to take it, so it’s either all one way or the other.”

  “That’s true,” Linda said from beside Jamie. “I just heard on the news about civilians being killed in great numbers, and then I read a story about some soldier coming home and saying how many schools they’ve built.”

  “You never know, do you?” Jamie said.

  “No you don’t. You can’t trust anyone because they all lie. Take a look at Andrew. He’s a perfect example.”