by M. Clarke
“Whoa,” Josh said, taking a step back. He took Emma in his arms, twirled her around, and anchored her on his hip.
Emma giggled and smiled. Their interaction captured me, warming up my heart. Josh’s infectious happy smile made me smile too, despite my uneasy heart. I felt like a stranger in my … Josh’s home.
“Isla?” As Josh called my name, he spotted me by the dining table.
You didn’t say honey I’m home. “Hi.” I smiled and kept my distance. Under normal circumstances, we would have kissed. “I guess there was some kind of mix-up.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. Everything is fine.” I planted my hand on the table to steady myself from whatever would come my way from Shelly.
“So you two met each other.” Josh glanced back to Shelly and then to me.
I let out a short laugh, trying my best not to make it fake. “Shelly thought I was your roommate.” I lifted my brow and set it down quickly.
Josh nodded in understanding, his silent way of letting me know he would take care of it. “Shell. Isla will be helping me take care of Emma, so you can relax.”
He called her Shell. Her nickname?
“Oh, so she’s the nanny you hired?”
Josh blinked and stared at her. “No. I told you I might hire a nanny to help me if Emma is allowed to stay longer than the weekend. I didn’t hire Isla. Isla and I are together. She lives with me. I thought I already explained that to you. Isla is good with kids.”
Josh setting Shelly straight about Josh and me being together put a huge smile on my face.
Shelly’s face paled, her eyes never meeting mine. “Oh. I must have forgotten.”
Liar! I thought about all the nasty words I wanted to shout at her in my mind.
She changed the subject. “Where will Emma sleep?”
“Isla helped me decorate Emma’s room. She has her own bedroom. Come with me upstairs. I’ll show you.” Josh led the way, but I stayed behind to turn off the kettle. I didn’t want to be the third wheel. Thankfully Josh didn’t ask me to join them, but why would he? It would have been awkward.
Quietly as possible, I went a little bit more than halfway upstairs and planted myself against the wall. Such a bad idea, but since Emma’s room was the closest to the stairs, their voices drifted down. And my nosy personality urged me to listen.
“You’ve done a great job, JB,” Shelly gushed sweetly in a tone I would’ve never thought she possessed. “I love the setup of her room. It’s so simple yet perfect with the star theme. Her diaper changing table and dresser look expensive. Made of real wood. Oh, wow. She even has the same crib mobile. You’re a wonderful father.”
JB? They were on a nickname basis now?
“Thank you, but Isla helped too. So you can thank her too.”
“Oh, I will.”
Liar.
“What time are you going to drop off Emma on Sunday?” Shelly asked.
“How about six?”
I’ll tell my mom to make your favorite meal. You’ll be staying for dinner, right?”
I growled silently, my fingers curled tightly.
“No. I’m having dinner with Isla.”
My muscles eased somewhat. The mobile music played softly. They must have placed Emma in the crib.
“Oh. Well, I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave right away after you drop off Emma. I read in the parenting book that she might develop a sense of abandonment with you.”
A pause.
“Really? I’ll have to look that up.” I couldn’t tell if Josh was being sarcastic. Surely he didn’t believe her, right?
Can’t you tell she still wants you?
“Before I forget,” Josh added. “Are you planning Emma’s birthday party?
“I’d thought we have a simple party at my mother’s house, just the four of us. I haven’t had time. I’ve been busy looking for a job.”
She doesn’t have a job?
“Then let me take care of it. I’ll pay for everything. I’m going to check to see if Ritz Carlton has a date available close to her birthday or somewhere else. I want to celebrate Emma’s first birthday with my friends too.”
“Will you be able to book a place? It’s in two weeks,” Shelly asked.
“Don’t worry. I’ll find some place nice for our daughter.”
Our daughter. Not Josh’s and mine, but Shelly and Josh. I sighed.
“Will your parents be there?”
“No. I haven’t spoken to them about Emma yet. I’m waiting for her birthday to pass. I don’t want any negative feelings at her party.”
“You’re an amazing father. I would’ve wanted a father like you. So…she’ll be here the whole weekend with you?”
“Shell.” I could picture Josh rolling his eyes. “Isla lives with me. So of course she’ll be here with me the whole time.”
“I thought you told me it wasn’t that serious. Didn’t you start dating like two weeks ago? And you’re living together?”
“Shell. I’m not going there. It’s none of your business.”
I smiled devilishly at Josh’s words.
“Everything you do will be my business, Josh, especially since you’re Emma’s father. Everything you do affects Emma. What does she know about babies, anyway?” Shelly asked, her tone filled with concern.
“Isla has taken care of her nieces many times when her brother and sister-in-law went away for weekend vacations. There’s nothing to worry about. Besides, I’ll be here, and I could use the help. I know everything will be fine, but I do worry about how the new environment will affect her.”
“I have an idea. Maybe I should stay over the whole weekend to help ease Emma into it. She’ll feel safer if I’m around. Isla can go spend the weekend somewhere else, since you won’t need her.”
I dropped my jaw in shock.
“Shell. That’s a crazy idea. I’m not asking Isla to leave, and you’re not staying.”
“Don’t get the wrong idea, JB,” she barked, her tone full of attitude. “I’m just trying to help you out and make sure Emma is comfortable. It’s the first time I’m leaving her, and it isn’t easy for me. I’ve had to take care of her on my own all these months.”
“Whose fault is that?” Josh retorted. “I’m not the one who ran away. So don’t play the guilt card with me. It’s not going to work. And why are you suddenly calling me JB?”
“You’ll never forgive me for that, will you?” Her voice quivered. “And it’s not suddenly. That was always my nickname for you, don’t you remember, Josh Bennett?” The way she said his name made me want to gag and poke out my eardrums.
A pause. Maybe he rolled his eyes? Maybe he glared at her? “I’m sorry. I don’t want to fight.” Another pause. “Don’t cry.”
My mind pictured Josh comforting her in his arms while she shed fake tears. Damn, she was good.
“I’m sorry too. I wish I could turn back the time and make the right choices. I would’ve chosen you. Emma needs a stable family, not one that’s apart. I don’t want her to grow up the way I did.”
My heart lurched to my throat.
“Well I wish a lot of things had been different, but we move forward. Regrets or no regrets,” Josh sighed. “And don’t worry about Emma. Unlike your father, I’m not going to abandon her. She’ll have everything she’ll ever need.”
“I’m so glad I came back, JB. Emma is lucky to have a father like you.”
Chapter 20
Josh
I refused to think about what-ifs. What was done was done, locked away in the past. Life doesn’t have re-dos. You make your bed, and you sleep on it. I didn’t know how much Isla had heard, but I hoped she didn’t get the wrong idea. Shelly and I were over.
What would my life have been like if Shelly never left me, though? We would be a family. But would we be happy? Would I be modeling or doing something I hated just to provide for the family? After Shelly left, Isla joined me in Emma’s room, and we scattered the new toys Isla bought for
Emma to play with.
“I don’t think Shelly likes me, not that I expect us to be best friends ’cause that would be weird,” Isla mentioned, pushing buttons for Emma. Letters popped out with each short musical tone.
I crisscrossed my legs and brushed her hair away from the side of her face. “Sorry, Isla. I hope she didn’t give you a hard time when I wasn’t home.”
“Don’t be sorry, Josh. And don’t worry about me. I can take care of my own. She’s lucky she had Emma with her, or I would have told her what I really thought.”
Josh crinkled his eyes. “That bad?”
When Isla stood, Emma peered up and banged two tambourines together. “I’m going to check on dinner. I’ll be right back.”
As soon as Isla left, Emma started to crawl after her. I picked her up and went downstairs. “Smells good. What’s for dinner?”
Isla took out a huge pot from the oven and set it on the dining table. She went back to the kitchen to bring out plates, utensils, and glasses. After she opened the lid and set it on the counter, she said, “Pot roast, potatoes, beans, carrots, and pasta. Emma can eat everything, too.”
“Did you hear that, Emma? We’re going to have a feast tonight. Isla is the best cook in the world.” I placed her inside the high chair Isla and I had picked out and belted her in.
“In the universe. Best cook in the universe,” Isla corrected, spooning food onto our plates. Then she put some on a small plastic dish for Emma.
“Of course,” I chimed in.
Emma bounced up and down, making cute baby sounds, letting us know she was ready to eat. Her bluish-green eyes sparkled, and her lips smacked together. I could stare at her all day.
“Can you get her sippy cup for her?” Isla asked. “I’ve already poured milk in it.”
I got up and kissed her cheek. “What would I do without you, Isla?” Then I headed to the kitchen to get Emma’s sippy cup and a bottle of water for each of us.
“I love watching babies eat.” Isla smiled, handing Emma small portions at a time. “Slow down, Em. I need your food to cool down.”
Emma banged her spoon with a giggle, and when I handed her the sippy cup, she drank from it. I loved watching the two most important people in my life interact. Grabbing my phone, I took a picture of Emma eating and sent it to Shelly. I tried to be discreet about it, but I failed.
“What are you doing?” Isla asked.
“I’m sending a picture of Emma to Shelly. She asked me to do it.”
“Oh,” Isla said curtly.
“Babe,” I said, trying to make her understand. “It’s what I would have wanted, too.”
“You called me ‘babe.’” Isla smiled, forking some beans. “I like the sound of that.” Just like that, her frown disappeared.
After we finished, Isla cleaned up while I gave Emma a quick bath and changed her into PJs.
“How was bath time?” Isla stood by the door, looking gorgeous as the hallway light illuminated her body.
“I got splashed all over, but other than that it was great. That splash toy you recommended, I get to use it on you.” I waggled my eyebrows.
Isla’s smile reached her eyes as she sauntered toward the crib where Emma sat. “You’re on. The one who’s the driest is the winner.”
“But first we need to get Em to sleep. How do we do that?” I rubbed my temples.
“Two ways. It depends on what Shelly does. One, either turn off the light and let her fall asleep on her own, or we’ll have to wait here until she falls asleep. Do you know?”
“I think Shelly turns off the light. Let’s try that first.”
Isla gently laid Emma down on her back and started to stroke her belly. “It’s time for night, night, Em. Good night.” When she kissed Emma on the forehead, I melted. Isla cared for Emma because she cared about me deeply. With that realization, I fell a little bit deeper for her. Afterward, she turned off the light and then turned on the mobile. The melody “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” played as the glowing stars spun around the moon in the center.
“Good night, Emma. I love you.” I kissed her forehead and followed Isla out the door, leaving it slightly ajar behind me.
“That was great,” I whispered, draping my arms around Isla’s shoulders and leading her to our bedroom. “Do you think she’ll sleep through the night?”
“I hope so. We’ll see what happens. So far she’s like Hanna … I hope.” Isla collapsed on the bed, and then she sat up. “Seriously. You’re not going to tell your parents?”
I dropped next to her. “I will. But I don’t have time. I’m busy this week, and I need to get Emma’s party going. I don’t know if I can book a room at the Ritz this late in the game.”
“It doesn’t have to be at the Ritz.” She scowled. “I mean, I know you want the best for your daughter, but don’t you want your parents there?”
“Isla,” I snapped. Shit! “Sorry. I didn’t mean to raise my voice. “I don’t want to talk about my parents.”
“Are you going to invite your sister?”
“Yes.” I ran my fingers through my hair and released a long, agitated sigh. “I’ll tell her first.”
Isla stroked my arm. “Good. She’ll be excited, and I can’t wait to meet her. Unless you don’t want her to meet me.” Her tone dipped to a somber one.
“What? Don’t be silly, Isla.” I embraced her and started to tickle her.
“Stop.” She lightly smacked me as her body wiggled.
Straddling her, I pinned her arms over her head. Isla’s chest rose and fell, and my eyes homed in on her breasts and then to her eyes.
“Call me babe,” she said. “I love it when you call me babe.”
“I can call you whatever you like. I’ll even call you babe when I come.” I lowered and nibbled on her ears.
“Oh, Josh,” she moaned.
“It’s Mr. Bennett to you,” I growled.
“Mr. Bennett. I aim to please. What kind of game would you like to play?”
Christ. Her words caressed my dick, and I was ready for her. As I devoured her lips, I released her arms and ran my hands over her breasts. After I unbuttoned her sweater and her bra, I gingerly glided my unshaved chin across her nipples. Isla arched her back from both pleasure and pain.
“Oh, God, Josh. Do it again,” she murmured, licking her lips and closing her eyes. Watching her took me to another level of ecstasy.
I did as she asked on both of her breasts, and then I nipped and sucked on her nipples while I pulled off my jeans. Isla rubbing her hands on the length of my hard dick intensified my lust and the urgency.
“I want to fuck you so bad, babe. Help me get your jeans off,” I hissed in her ear.
Isla slid off the bed, and playfully, seductively wiggled out of her jeans.
“Come here,” I demanded, my body burning with desire. “I’ve been wanting to fuck you all day. I even daydreamed about it during my photo shoot.”
“You did?” She allowed her panties to pool around her feet and then kicked them to my face.
The caveman part of me came alive as I inhaled the scent of her. When I licked her panties, she shuddered and her eyes darkened with lust. Isla inched toward me, taking tortuous small steps, but what a beautiful sight to embed in my mind—Isla, naked, coming for me.
A noise halted Isla in her steps. I stiffened. We both froze in our positions, Isla’s foot slightly lifted and my hand on my dick. Then realization kicked in when the noise grew louder. It wasn’t just any noise. Emma’s little cry became a full-blown wail.
“Shit.” I jumped off the bed and nearly tripped as I slipped into my jeans. Turning on the lights, I picked up Emma. She had her eyes closed as tears streamed down her face, her trembling body hot and sweaty. “I’m so sorry, Em. Daddy’s here.” I caressed her back while she leaned her head into the crook of my neck and shoulder. “It’s okay.” I tried to soothe her, but she wouldn’t stop crying. Though she was safe and had no reason to cry, her sobs shoved a dagger in my heart. This
was what unconditional love felt like. Every time she hurt, I hurt too. No matter the reason, big or small, I would always be there for her when she hurt. Her fears would be mine. Her sadness would be mine. And even her happiness would be mine. I would always protect my Emma in a bubble of my making.
“Is she okay?” Isla appeared wearing a white robe.
“She won’t stop crying. How do I make her stop crying?” I asked frantically as I patted her back, pacing back and forth.
“First…” Isla’s nose flared and she winced, and then she held out her arms. “Let me change her diaper.”
Too busy worrying about Emma’s outburst, I didn’t notice the stench until Isla pointed it out. It was a sin for a cute baby to smell that horrid.
As soon as Isla placed her on the changing table and started to speak to her with a high-pitched, silly voice, Emma stopped crying. As her tears lingered and her breath hitched, I sighed with relief and wiggled my nose from the stench of Emma’s poop again.
“Em. You let it all out, didn’t ya?” Isla sang, keeping her voice entertaining. “You pooped it all out. I would want my diaper changed too. I understand. It doesn’t feel good.” After Isla finished wiping Emma’s butt, she slipped on a new diaper. “There you go. All done.” Isla picked up Emma, handed her over to me, and cleaned up the mess.
“Thank you, babe. I would have eventually figured out I needed to change her diaper, but I don’t think I would’ve been as calm as you. I’m so glad you’re here.”
Isla looked at me with a smile, her way of letting me know she was here for me, and then got back to the cleaning.
“Time for bed, Emma.” As soon as I placed her down, she sat up whining. I rubbed my face, wondering what to do next. “Why won’t she go back to sleep?”
“Josh. I’ll put her to sleep.” Isla picked her up and cradled her in her arms. “She’s in a new environment. She probably wants her mom. And not to mention she had poop all over her butt, and now she’s wide awake.”
Before I could say anything, Isla sat in the rocking chair and pushed with her feet to get the momentum started. Emma fussed and whined at first, but when Isla started singing softly, Emma paid attention. Eventually, Emma rubbed her eyes, and her head plopped on Isla’s shoulder. Watching them as the rocking chair swayed back and forth put me in a hypnotic state, and I felt worn. Isla closed her eyes too, letting the chair rock on its own. When I knelt down next to them, Isla opened one eye.