by M. Clarke
“Goodbye, Shell. I’ll walk you to your car.” I leaned closer to Emma and gave her a peck on the cheek after I belted her in the car seat. “I love you. Be a good girl for Daddy.” I waved and made a dorky face.
Emma giggled. “Dada.”
My eyes lit up, and my heart exploded in joy. “Did you hear that, Shell? She called me Dada?”
“It isn’t the first time. I’ve been teaching her that word since the day she spoke her first word. And it won’t be the last. You’ll miss the other words she will say for the first time.”
I ignored Shelly and waved at my girl. “Bye, bye, Emma.”
“Bye, bye, Dada.” Emma waved back.
“You’re welcome to come over for dinner tomorrow.” Shell started the engine. “By the way, I got that part-time job as a waitress.”
“Who’s going to watch Emma?” My stomach lurched with worry.
“My mom.”
“I don’t work every day, so I can take care of her too,” I offered. “We should talk about this. I can give you extra each month if that means you can stay home to take care of our daughter.”
“I’ll stop working the day we live together.” She winked at me. “Think about it, Dada.”
I huffed out a breath and shut Emma’s door, already feeling the absence of my daughter.
Chapter 23
Isla
I won’t lie. It hurt my feelings. Josh and Shelly planned their daughter’s birthday party without me, which they had every right to, but I couldn’t help the jealousy creeping inside me, spreading with each text and phone call. Jesus. I sounded like a brat. But I wanted to feel useful. No, I wanted Josh to need me. I knew he was just being caring and didn’t want to burden me, but I loved doing things for him and doing things together.
At least he trusted me enough to cater the cake. And for that reason, I pushed away my insecurities and negative thoughts. We had a little girl’s birthday to celebrate. No, not just any girl. Josh’s precious daughter, who I pretended was ours during the weekend. It was premature for me to think so far in advance about our future when we hadn’t even been together for a month, but the heart knows what it wants. And I wanted Josh forever; however, there were complications … Shelly complications.
All my suspicions came out of the bag the night Shelly picked up Em from our place. I wasn’t trying to listen to their conversation. I had thought she had left, but they were still talking by the door. She told Josh she wanted him back. I wished I could have seen the expression on Josh’s face to truly get the gist of how he felt, because he wouldn’t admit anything to her. One, because he was dating me. Two, I was in the house. Three, I assumed his feelings were conflicted. He might not admit it to himself, but I knew. I’d seen the way he looked at Shelly, the same torn gaze Nathan had for Olivia when she came back into his life.
Josh and Shelly had a past, albeit a crazy fucked up one, but they had loved each other once. Josh and I only had a little over a year worth of friendship and several weeks of dating. I couldn’t compete with their history, not to mention the daughter they had together.
Josh and I were together, but why did I feel like the other woman at times? His side chick. No. I had to stop thinking stupid thoughts. They screwed me up and messed with my mind and sleep. Telling Josh my feelings would get me nowhere. I would look like the insecure girlfriend, worried about his ex. I didn’t want to play that card. Keep calm. Josh is with you, not Shelly. He wants you.
Josh and I drove together to the Ritz. He looked so handsome dressed in dark trousers and a light gray button-up shirt. I wore a matching gray sweater dress with killer high heels.
“Did I tell you how much I love your outfit and how beautiful you look?” Josh signaled at the light and turned left.
“Maybe like ten times, but that’s all. I don’t think it’s enough.” I giggled.
He placed a hand on my thigh and slowly moved it higher and higher, lifting my dress.
I lightly smacked his hand. “Hey. Keep both hands on the wheel, Mr. Bennett.”
“When we come home, after I lick and suck every part of your body, you won’t be saying that to me.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
I swallowed and felt every lick and suck on my body. “Can we get a room? I don’t think I can wait.”
Josh gave me a sideways glance and curled his lips into an irresistible smirk. God. Can he get any sexier? It was his exact pose on social media for Sexiest Model Alive. Even if I were clueless about the three contestants, I would definitely vote for him.
“What? What did you do now?” I probed.
“I booked a suite for us just in case you get too tired.” He shrugged innocently. “Forty-five minutes’ drive waiting for me to fuck you might be torture for you. I don’t think you can wait. You’ll probably go insane just thinking about it.”
“You think so?” I stifled a giggle and ran my hand down his cock.
Josh shivered. “Careful. We might not make it to the party on time. I might have to take a detour. I also took the liberty of packing a bag for both of us. Since the hotel provides toiletries, I packed some clothes. Surprise. And we’re here.”
Too busy having fun and flirting with Josh, I hadn’t realized he had driven in to the entrance. And the fact he had gone out of his way to pack my clothes to surprise me, well, that said it all. My insecurities went out the door.
We valet parked and walked hand in hand inside as the bellman opened the grand, glass double doors. The dazzling crystal chandelier catching the lights caught my attention first as we glided across the marble polished floor. Large flowers of assorted kinds fanned out in a giant vase set on a tall round table in the middle of the foyer, and expensive furniture was arranged near the front desk. Every way I looked marked elegance.
Josh led the way down the hall adorned with paintings of mountains while instrumental music filled the air. After we passed the lounge area and turned the corner, we came upon a restaurant. Bouquets of pink and white balloons were tied to each corner. Some floated to the tall ceiling or were tied to the chairs, and others lined the archway though the dark wooden double doors.
A giant sign plastered the back wall: Happy First Birthday Emma. In the corner, a beautiful cake decorated in pink, white, and lavender with flowers on its face sat on a large table. A white lace sheet covered the table, making the décor look more elegant than kid friendly. That party was no ordinary kid’s birthday. It was Josh’s daughter’s first birthday, and he paid big bucks to make it the best he could.
“JB.” Shelly waved, ignoring my presence. What else was new?
Shelly wore a black dress, framing her petite, curvy body, and Em looked marvelous and adorable wearing her pink ruffled dress and matching pink headband with a large flower on top.
“Shelly. You remember Isla?” Josh reminded when she approached him with a hug. I smiled when Josh stiffened and relaxed when she pulled away.
“Of course I do, your roommate.” A fake smile played on her face.
Petty, but I gave one right back. “Girlfriend,” I retorted, and then I felt like shit. I didn’t want to stoop to her level, and there I was doing it. Fuck! Start over. Be the better person.
“Hello, Em.” I waved.
Shelly cocked a brow. “Her name is Emma,” she said softly, but venom filled her tone.
I growled underneath my breath, dismissing her.
“Where’s your mother?” Josh asked, kissing Em on her forehead.
“She didn’t want to come. She said the party was for the young people. But she would love it if you can stop by later to celebrate Emma’s birthday with her too.”
I stiffened, knowing her invitation didn’t extend to me. Not that I would go if it did. But her asking in front of me felt like a spit in my face. My face burned so hot, it could have blown out steam. Ugh! She got on my nerves like no other. Though I wanted to teach her a lesson not to mess with me by showing her exactly what a tongue whipping from me sounded like, I let it go. Mostly because it was
Em’s birthday, and I didn’t want to cause a scene. Calm. Breathe. Let Josh handle it.
One of Josh’s eyebrows slanted. “Only if Isla is invited, but I don’t think that would be appropriate. So I’m going to pass. You can thank your mom for the invitation but let her know I’ll be busy tonight.” Classy Josh. My man. My Josh. I smiled at the satisfaction his words gave me.
“Sure. No problem,” she said, keeping her eyes on Em. She hid her bitter, disappointed expression from Josh. But I saw it.
“Josh?”
A sound of a sweet voice caught my attention, and I whipped around.
“Jasmine. I’m so happy you could make it.” Josh hugged his sister and turned to us with one arm around her shoulders. Jasmine looked as stunning as Josh, but she had brown eyes. They could be fraternal twins with the same dark hair and similar features. No one would doubt they were siblings.
“Meet Isla,” Josh continued.
“It’s nice to meet you, Isla.” Jasmine embraced me. “I’ve heard so many good things about you.”
“Wow. Thank you,” I said, releasing her.
“You remember Shelly.”
“Yes.” Jasmine held back her smile, giving her only half of what she gave me.
Shelly welcomed her hug. No shock there.
“And this is Emma.” He picked her up from her stroller and gave the proudest grin. “This is your Aunt Jasmine.”
“Hello, Em,” she cooed, taking Em’s little hand in hers to shake. “This is for you.” She handed Em a small box, neatly wrapped with a pink bow on top.
Shelly didn’t correct Jasmine. No surprise there either.
“Thank you, Auntie Jasmine.” Josh answered in a baby tone, speaking for Em.
“You should go see Mom and Dad.” Jasmine kept her tone low, but I had heard. “They’re worried about you. They haven’t heard from you for a month. You need to hear their side of the story. Shutting them out won’t solve anything. They still love you.”
“I will next week,” Josh clipped, his tone sharp and final.
I sighed, wanting to help Josh through his pain and whatever the hell happened with his parents.
More friends started to appear, but I was relieved when Olivia meandered in with Nathan beside her. She handed a wrapped box to Josh after she embraced him.
“Thank God you’re here,” I murmured, squeezing her tightly.
“That bad already?” Olivia frowned, releasing me and placing her coat on the coat hook.
“Worse than before.”
“Yikes. We need to do something about X-Shell Bitch. Does Josh know she’s giving you a hard time?”
I shrugged. “Kind of. I’ve mentioned it. Besides, I don’t want him to say anything to her. It will make me look bad. And I can handle it. But I swear, Olivia. If she pushes me, I’ll punch her. I’ve never wanted to hurt anyone in my entire life.”
Olivia shifted her purse strap. “That’s because no one has bad-mouthed you and made you feel like shit.”
I watched Josh head to a group of people that just entered. Shelly stood among them. She had waved at him, and he obeyed her beckoning command. Stop this nonsense. My thoughts were ridiculous, and it would drive me insane. And I also had to stop stealing glances every time Josh spoke to Shelly. My insecurities got the best of me, and I did it again. Shit!
“JB.” Shelly slipped her arm through Josh’s. I scowled at how easily she touched Josh as if he belonged to her. Too occupied staring at the man in front of him with wide eyes and a grin reaching his ears, he hadn’t noticed what she had done. Or maybe he didn’t care.
Olivia rolled her eyes. “JB? I see what you mean. Even I’m disgusted.”
“Excuse me.” A waiter passed me with a tray in his hand and then more came into the room with the same covered silver trays. Next to the cake table, a long table had been set for the lunch buffet.
“You remember Dave, don’t you?” Shelly continued.
“Hell, yes. Dave. How have you been?” Josh seemed genuinely glad to see him, giving him a manly hug with a slap on the back. “It’s been what? A couple of years? You look different.”
“I’ve cleaned up. And you look good, man. More tattoos, I see.” Dave took a step back to reveal a brunette with blue eyes and almost as tall as him. “Oh, this is my girlfriend Wanda. She’s a fan of yours. You remember her, don’t you?”
Josh flashed his sexy grin, shaking Wanda’s hand. “I do. She was your girlfriend back then.”
Dave nodded and scrubbed the side of his face. “I can’t believe you and Shelly had a baby. I always knew you guys would end up together. We should do a couple thing and have dinner together to catch up.”
“Oh,” Josh said curtly. “No. We’re not.” Josh glanced around, no doubt looking for me. When he met my eyes, he beamed and wiggled a finger at me. God, he looked so sexy and alluring when he gestured at me like that. He waited for me to reach him and said, “I’m with Isla. She’s my girlfriend.”
“Oh, sorry,” Dave said, smiling at me.
“It’s fine,” I said. “Nice to meet you.”
“Dave is an old friend from college. I met him through Shelly,” Josh explained. “Anyway, we should get seated. Looks like lunch is about to be served, and I need to greet the guests. But we can always catch up later for dinner.”
More friends I recognized, and a few I assumed were Shelly’s friends, entered.
Chapter 24
Josh
Seeing Dave again brought back pleasant and not-so-pleasant memories of my past. But it was good to see him drug free, and even his girlfriend, who I hardly remembered, seemed sweet and down to earth. Dave and I were buddies, though mostly stoned buddies, so I didn’t get to know him well like I knew Nathan, but I recalled him being an all-around nice guy. He was closer to Shelly since he was her friend more than mine.
After the greetings and introductions of all twenty people sitting around the long rectangular table, I excused everyone to the private buffet line set in our party room. Laughter and small talk filled the air, and I couldn’t be happier to celebrate my daughter’s birthday. In my eyes, everything was perfect, especially the beautiful cake Isla had catered.
“Emma has your eyes,” Dave said, placing his plate down across from mine.
I glanced at Emma, sitting in a highchair to my right, while Isla sat on my left. “That’s what everyone says.”
“Can she talk?” Wanda asked, her eyes beaming at Emma.
“She says a few words, but her favorite word is dada.” I chuckled, kissing Emma on her forehead. “Right, Em? Dada is your favorite word.”
“Dada,” she echoed, tapping her plate with her spoon. When she looked up at me with those innocent eyes, I melted. God, I didn’t think my heart could expand any more with so much love for my daughter. Sometimes, even as I looked at her, I couldn’t believe she was mine.
Dave’s eyes lit up. “Do you remember when we got so wasted, you went outside the house and started to sing and dance wearing only your boxers?”
“What?” Nathan shifted closer, moving away from his conversation with a few of our model friends.
I slammed my hand to my forehead, as my face burned with embarrassment, not wanting to recall that night. Seriously, did Dave have to bring up my idiotic past? Unable to meet Isla’s eyes, as I wondered what she thought of me at the moment, I shook my head as I defended myself. “I was wasted. We had a party. I’m a grown man now. I’m never doing that again.”
The friends listening to our conversation chuckled, and I did the same.
Shelly slipped her arm around Emma’s chair and rested her hand on my shoulder. “And that’s the day I fell madly in love with you.”
My heart melted a little, a part of me sad over losing what we had once. Fuck! I almost leaned into Shelly and almost told her that was the day I fell in love with her too, but I stopped myself, feeling Isla’s body stiffen. Having Dave, Wanda, and Shelly in the same place pulled me to the fun times of our past. For a second, I
had forgotten where I was. Shelly and I had dated a lot longer than Isla and I had. It was normal to have past feelings sneak up, right? But Shelly didn’t have to open up to our guests. I knew the reason. If we were alone, I could let her know that was uncalled for in front of Isla, but we weren’t alone. And I would never disrespect the mother of my child unless she put Isla in danger, but if she continued to disrespect Isla, I would let her know.
I carefully slipped my arm away from Shelly, trying not to offend her or make it obvious. I rested my hand on Isla’s thigh to ensure she felt comfortable, to remind her she was with me despite the talk about the past she didn’t need to hear. Isla squeezed my hand to reassure me and let go. Sensing her shoulders ease up a bit, I relaxed, but my hand remained there.
Dave seemed to note the tension in the air and stopped talking about the past. I diverted my attention to my daughter, which was easy to do, especially when she made cute baby noises as Shelly placed food on her plate. Emma used her fingers to feed herself, and I watched with a wide grin on my face. I loved to watch her do anything.
“Do you want to watch Emma open her presents later?” Shelly asked, her voice lower than before.
My excitement spiked up. Watching Emma tear through her presents would be a sight I would videotape and relish. “I’m busy today,” I said, disappointment in my tone. I would not cancel my night with Isla. Already knowing how she felt about my past, I didn’t need to add to her worries.
“I’ll wait for you to come tomorrow, if you’ll come. You don’t live far. You can watch and then go, or you can stay for dinner.”
I grinned, disappointment gone. “That would be great. Thank you for being considerate.”
Shelly flashed a smile, the kind of smile that used to reach to the depth of my core in the most delicious way. That was in the past. But … the past was creeping back to me. I didn’t want to think about that foreign yet familiar wave of warmth. I brushed it off. I would not go there.
After lunch we gathered around the cake table. I held Emma so she could admire it.