Being Human

by Patricia Lynne

  Three years had passed. Three years since I had been turned and murdered our parents. Three years since our aunt and uncle tried to separate us.

  As far as they knew, they succeeded.

  Now he attended college, living in the dorms and only calling our aunt and uncle once a week to let him know he was okay or going to visit. There was still a song and dance he had to play, but it was less restricted.

  I was less restricted too. The dorms were open to me. I could enter any I pleased; no one needed to welcome me. My brother thought it was because the dorms were public buildings, and with so many humans coming and going, whatever kept vampires out was broken.

  The human students knew I was there. In the first week, while my brother was asleep and I explored the campus, finding routes to and from my resting place, I stumbled across a human. She snapped a picture, then ran off while I blinked at the spot in my vision. The next day he said a girl approached him, asking why he was dressing like a vampire and scaring people. I don't know if I made things worse for him or not, but I found the human again and told her I wasn't the human she thought I was.

  A fist pounded on the door and I was out the window in a heartbeat. “Yo, Danny,” a voice called. “There's a party in Street Hall, tons of beer and girls. You coming?”

  “Just a sec,” my brother replied. He leaned out the window with an amused look. “I gotta go, but I'll be back before the sun rises.” He set the bottle on the window ledge. “Have a drink on me. Peace.”

  Then he was gone, happily chatting with the human.

  I sighed and crawled back through the window. He had been doing that more and more as the weeks passed. Leaving me to be with other humans. What was so great about the humans at college? If they found out he was my brother, they'd shun him. Like the humans back home had.

  I grabbed the beer bottle, bringing it to my mouth. The taste was horrid, bitter and fizzy. I coughed as I swallowed. How had he drunk this?

  Time ticked by as I sat on the inside of the window, watching and waiting. Below, the human students were out in force. They roamed the sidewalks, yelling at each other, even close up. Too many for my taste, I waited for a lull, and then slid out the window. I dropped into the shadows and headed to the only spot on campus void of humans at night.

  The big, empty field stretched out before me, surrounded by rows of seats. My brother explained they played football games here. He said it'd fill with humans, all cheering for a touchdown. He tried explaining the rules of the game, but as usual, I didn't get the point. How would throwing a ball help one survive?

  “It does, trust me,” he had replied.

  “Ah, if it isn't a dark brother.”

  I whirled around, startled at the three humans lounging on the lower rows of seats. The one that spoke watched me with mournful eyes lined in black. An equally pale and black-clad human puffed on a cigarette, his face unconcerned. The last human had draped herself across a few seats, arms lifted towards the stars.

  “I would have thought vampires would be more aware of their surroundings,” the first one noted.

  “Maybe he was lost in solitude, drifting peacefully,” the one lounging on the seats replied.

  “What?” I asked.

  “What a shame, he has no idea,” the male said.

  “I never understand how a human thinks. You make no sense to me whatsoever. This place.” I motioned to the arena. “I can't even begin to understand why it's important.”

  “That's where you're wrong,” the lounging female replied dreamily. “We don't understand the fascination either. It's back and forth, back and forth, get knocked down, get back up and repeat.”

  “Ignore her,” the first one said, giving the other female a sideways look. “She's smoked too much tonight.” She slid closer, holding her hand out. “I'm Fallen. He's Risen and she's Settled. I've heard vampires don't like using real names, so it’s what I came up with on the fly. I've always loved the idea of fallen angels.”

  I looked at her hand. “What are you doing?”

  Fallen took her hand back, a smile filling her lips. “Is the temptation of blood too much, perhaps?”

  “No, you could slit your wrists and I wouldn't react,” I replied. I always hungered – always craved blood – but in terms of being around it, I reigned in those wants. As long as I didn't need blood, I didn't take it.

  “Interesting,” Fallen said. “So what brings a dark creature like you here? We've heard the rumors of a vampire on campus. Our unofficial mascot. The paper is dying to get a photo.”

  The three humans laughed.

  “I have my reasons.”

  “There haven’t been any deaths,” Fallen said.

  Risen glanced at me. “Unless they're not reporting them.”

  I scowled at him, noticing he looked like he was half asleep, eyes shot with red. “I do not hunt here.”

  “Why? Do you have a resting spot nearby?” Fallen inquired. “My apologies,” she said when I glared at her. “There must be something here that interests you. Vampires stay away from humans. We're too quick to call the cops and have Vampire Forces descend on us with their martial law.”

  “Mourning what you will never being able to enjoy? The college experience?” Settle suggested.

  “No.”

  “No, I don't suppose that is a good enough reason either.” Fallen watched me, a calm look on her face. Her calmness unnerved me, all three humans lacking fear of me. I had never spoken to humans who didn't fear me because I was a vampire.

  “What are you doing here?” I demanded.

  “Can see the stars and moon.” Fallen stared at the sky. “It's so peaceful, makes you want to be up there.”

  I felt like the air had been sucked away. The sky always looked serene and quiet. Sometimes I wanted to fly up there, escape the busy human world for a few moments of peace.

  “I understand.”

  “Of course, we’re siblings in darkness,” Fallen replied. “We prefer night over day, seeking the peace darkness creates and feeling at home.”

  “I stay in the dark because the sun would kill me.”

  “But if it didn't?” Fallen asked.

  “I don't think about pointless things like that.”

  “You're a direct creature,” Fallen replied. “I like that.” She rose, the others following suit. She dipped down, bowing her head. “Until we meet again, brother of the night.”

  ****

  Tommy,

  Sorry I didn't come back to my room like I said. I passed out in some girl's bed. Man, I wish I could remember last night. I wish I wasn't hungover too. I'll explain that next time I see you. There's another party and I wanna find that girl. She was cute, I remember that! Don't have too much fun without me and I'll try to make it back before sunrise. No promises.

  Peace, Danny

  I crumpled the note and threw it on the ground, then picked it back up. It had been taped precariously to the window, fluttering in the wind. I had scrambled to grab it before it blew away. Now I wished I had let it.

  “Girlfriend dump you?” Fallen asked as she approached.

  “I don’t have a girlfriend. Where are the other humans?” I asked.

  “Boozed up, passed out and detached from reality again,” she replied, a bottle dangling in her hand. She held it out. “You look like you need a drink.”

  “I'd rather not.”

  Fallen smirked at me. “It's not like it can hurt you. Just give you a splitting headache the next day.”

  “Why do it then?”

  Fallen took a drink and winced. “Ah, there's a whole list. Some do it to have a good time, others because everyone else is and some to forget.”

  I looked at my brother’s crumpled note. Was he drinking the liquid that made humans forget? Was he forgetting me? “Why would someone say he'd do something, then leave a note?”

  “He? I didn't know vampires swung that way.” Fallen arched an eyebrow at me.

  “I don’t understand what you mean.
”

  “Ah, guess I was wrong,” Fallen replied. “So who is the person in question?”

  “It's my brother, my twin brother. He's abandoning me,” I replied, catching myself off guard. I hadn't meant to say that last part, but something about her eyes told me it was okay to tell her.

  “And he's human?”

  “Why is that so hard to believe?”

  Fallen rolled her eyes. “Because you're a vampire, duh! Ever since vampires were discovered, the relationship between them and us hasn't been stellar. And a hundred years from now – maybe even a thousand – the relationship will be the same. All because us humans have a superiority complex and are afraid.”

  “Why aren't you afraid of me?”

  Fallen stared at me a long moment. “I've never met a vampire or been to a torching. I heard about vampires, read about them, but that's it. Every little thing I’ve learned has been bad. But I see you and you don't seem evil. A bit creepy, but not evil.”

  “Maybe I'm luring you, willing you to think I’m safe so I can drink your blood.”

  Fallen traced her finger across the palm of her hand. “If vampires are monstrous bloodlust driven creatures, then why is humanity still here? Shouldn't they have wiped us out? I have a cut on me right now, sliced my hand open working on an art project today. If you were only interested in blood, wouldn’t I be dead already?”

  “I did smell blood.”

  “More fuel for my argument. May I see the note?” Fallen held out her hand and I passed her the crumpled paper. When she finished reading, she handed it back with a kind smile. “He's not abandoning you. This is college and a lot of us are away from our parents for the first time. It's a chance to experience life, but still have the safety of our family to fall back on.”

  “You don't think he's forgetting me?”

  “Sounds like he's hoping to have sex.” She held the bottle out. “Still don't want a drink?”

  I took the bottle and gave it a sniff. The strong, spicy scent burned my nose and the taste was horrid, burning my tongue as fiery fingers clawed down my throat. I gasped, choking as I handed the bottle back.

  Fallen laughed. “Another myth bites the dust.”

  “Huh?” I croaked.

  “Some vampire myths claimed vampires couldn't consume anything but blood.”

  “This is the second time I've drank something besides blood,” I replied, throat still tingling from the liquid. “I'm not making a habit of it.”

  Fallen laughed, stretching her arms high. “Well, this was fun, but I better get back to my room. If I'm lucky, Riley and Jamie aren't going at it on my bed.”

  “Who?”

  “Risen and Settle. Forget the slip.” She stopped next to me, lightly socking my arm. “Go find your twin; he might need to be nursed through a hangover.”

  I headed towards my brother's dorm, slinking through the shadows. He was sprawled on his bed when I crawled through the window. His eyes fluttered when I shook him, his voice weak.

  “I think I over did it,” he whispered. “The room's spinning. It was fun though, oh man, was it fun. I totally got some.”

  “Some what?”

  He laughed and winced. “Kissed a girl. Well, a little more than that, but there's no way I'm going into detail with you. Where have you been? I got back and was shocked you weren't here.”

  I paused, wondering if I should tell him about Fallen. “I was by the football field.”

  He groped at me, hand waving through the air. His voice was soft and tired, fading into sleep. “Sorry if you feel like I've been ditching you, I'm not. I’m just trying to experience human life. You’re still my brother and I won’t ever abandon you.”

  “I know,” I assured him.

  ****

  Sunday signified the end of the parties, the night silent when I arrived on campus. The students were in their dorms, preparing for class the next day. The window to my brother’s room was open, light spilling out. He didn’t look up from his notes as I slipped through the window.

  I leaned over his shoulder, looking at the numbers and symbols. I knew what this was. “Math.”

  “Yeah, Algebra I is required for graduation. I've been at this all day, popping pain pills and making up for partying all weekend. Maybe next weekend I'll take it easy, not party every night.” He leaned back and rubbed his face. Dark circles ringed his eyes, his skin pale and mouth slack. His eyes blinked rapidly with fatigue. He tossed his pen down, popped a couple pills in his mouth and took a drink of water.

  “You look tired.”

  “I am, but I gotta study a little.”

  “You're not doing a good job.”

  “You're distracting me.”

  “Maybe I should go.”

  “Maybe you should.”

  Hadn’t I put enough amusement in my voice for him to hear? I turned to the window, thinking I'd wander around campus or see if Fallen was at the football field.

  “You're so clueless.” His voice stopped me. “I thought by now you'd know sarcasm. Sit.”

  Relieved, I sank onto the bed and he focused back on his homework. I slid closer to him, leaning on the desk. “What are parties like?”

  “Loud,” he snorted. “You have to yell over the music and noise at the person next to you. Things get broken and people fall down because they’re too drunk to stand. You never, never, never want to be the first one to pass out; not unless you want to wake up with body parts tattooed all over your face with a marker.”

  “And that's fun?”

  “Being drunk helps.”

  “What did you mean the other night about not being twenty-one? Twenty-one what?”

  He yawned. “That's the number of years a person has to be to legally drink.”

  “You're breaking the law?”

  “Yup.”

  “I kill humans who break the law.”

  He turned to me, a puzzled look on his face. “What?”

  “You said some humans don't deserve to live, like ones that break the law,” I replied.

  He rolled his eyes. “I said that once three years ago when you wanted to know why people hit each other. I didn't mean it literally. I meant some people are bastards and you wished they had never been born because the world would be better without them.”

  “Maybe those humans should be killed at birth,” I suggested.

  “You can't tell if a person's gonna turn out bad when they're born. There are a million different factors that influence how a person acts. It'd be like trying to determine who a vampire will pick to turn. Scientists figure out of a certain number of people killed by vampires, one gets turned, but we have no clue as to why a vampire will turn one person, but not the next,” he explained.

  “Well, what humans can I kill?” I asked. “I thought you wouldn't mind that.”

  “Oh jeez.” He shook his head, then fixed me with a stern look. “Does this have anything to do with the fact you that killed Mom and Dad?”

  “No.”

  “Then this has solely to do with me?”

  “I don't want to upset you.”

  “Tommy.” Using my name meant he was serious. “I accept you, you know that. You will always be my twin, my brother, and I've gotten used to you as a vampire. I barely notice now, even when you do that creepy head tilt. But there's one thing I will never be used to. It doesn't matter if I know the person or whether they're a perfect stranger. I can't ever accept you killing people. I know and understand why you need to, but I wish you didn't have to.”

  “But I want you to be happy,” I insisted.

  “You're not always going to be able to keep me happy. Look, don't worry about it. You do what you have to do to survive. I won’t condemn or hate you for it. I know you like it too,” he said gently. He closed his books and stood. “I'm gonna hit the sack for the night. See you tomorrow?”

  I nodded and slid out the window.

  A mixture of feelings churned in me as I hit the ground. My brother's words floated in my head,
confusing me. I had been sure he wouldn't mind me killing bad humans. They hurt other humans, beating, cutting and even killing them. For no reason! Humans didn't like that as much as they hated vampires. Wouldn't killing the bad ones be a good thing?

  “They think I'm bad and want to kill me,” I muttered as I settled down to rest for the day.

  I no longer had to dig into the dirt to rest – not that it mattered. My safe place for the day was a small, enclosed cellar. The decaying house above was hidden by trees, grass covering what remained of the floor and vines crawling up the crumbling chimney. I would have missed the door leading to the underground room if I hadn't stepped on it and noted the different sound my footsteps made.

  Despite the decay of the door, no light reached the room. A single ladder was the only entrance and exit, several rungs missing. Not that I needed the ladder, I could easily climb in and out. It was only a few minutes to the college and even less to the city where I hunted. I felt safe there, hidden from the burning sun.

  ****

  I stared at the fourth story window. No light shined, the curtains drawn tight. I listened, but from the ground there were too many heartbeats to tell if my brother was in his room. Maybe he was asleep, in which case I didn’t want to wake him. Or he could be gone, out to another party or visiting friends. He had all day to visit his friends though.

  Sometimes I mused about killing his friends.

  With a sigh, I headed back the way I came, passing dorms full of sleeping humans, lots full of cars and dark buildings. As I walked, a scent kept drifting by me. It filled the air with its fragrance, tickling my nose. I knew this scent; it was Fallen's.

  Letting the scent guide me, I headed toward the football field. It grew stronger, fresher, making me think of blood. Desire stirred and I pushed it back. I hadn't given into desire since the night I chased that human. I wasn't ever giving into it again.

  I found Fallen on the bleachers stairs. She stared at her arm and the mark across it. It stretched dark against her skin, beads of red dripping to the ground. Her face solemn, she took a knife, drawing it across her arm and creating a new mark.