Being Human

by Patricia Lynne

  My eyes followed the blood as it ran down her arm and dripped to the ground. The desire stirred more, hunger and thirst started gnawing at me. It'd be easy. She'd never know what hit her...

  No. The word blasted through the desire, hunger and thirst. I did not want to hurt this human, she was kind to me. A rare way for humans to act when it came to vampires.

  Had I made a friend?

  I mulled the concept over. Fallen interested me. She helped clarify my brother's behavior this past weekend, but a friend? I always considered them pointless.

  Even though I dismissed the idea as quickly as it came, when she lifted the blade to her arm again, I stopped her. “What are you doing?”

  The knife fell from Fallen's fingers, a smile filling her face. “I knew the blood would draw you.”

  “I followed your scent.” Which was true enough, I had followed her scent, made more potent by her blood.

  “Where were you the other night?” she asked. “I waited for you.”

  “Why?”

  “Why not?”

  I tilted my head. I had never been asked that. I asked why and my brother always tried to explain. Why not... What a weird question.

  “There was no point to wait for me; I had no intention of coming here.”

  “I didn't know that. I don't claim to know how a vampire's mind works. You might have decided to appear at any moment. Where were you?” she asked.

  “Talking to my brother.”

  “So you smoothed out your problem with him?”

  I scowled at her choice of words. “I did not have a problem with him. I didn't understand why he was doing what he was. You helped me understand.”

  Fallen nodded, looking thoughtful. When she returned her gaze to me, a sly look glimmered. She held out her arm. “Do you want a sip? You look thirsty.”

  “I am fine.”

  I wasn't fine. I had never been around fresh blood when I wasn't hunting. My gums ached, fangs straining to extend as I forced them to stay put. I felt like I was teetering on the edge of a cliff, desire waiting for me below.

  “No.”

  “Oh, just thought you wouldn't want it to go to waste.” Fallen innocently shrugged.

  I put a scowl on my face, prolonging it to ensure she saw. “The only reason I drink blood is because I need it to survive.”

  “Interesting,” she murmured, dragging her finger through the trails of blood.

  I watched her, trying to figure her out. She wasn’t anything like the humans in the city or the ones on campus or even my brother. He shuddered at my actions, mourned the humans I killed and I almost understood him at times.

  Fallen was a mystery. Everything she said made no sense and her actions confused me. She wanted to interact with me even though there was no reason.

  “I have to go,” I said and turned to leave.

  “Will I see you tomorrow?” A hint of desperation filled her voice. “You could come visit me at my dorm.”

  “I'm not doing that.”

  “Why not?” Her voice rose in pitch.

  “Why?” I shot back.

  Fallen pouted in reply.

  I left her, heading to my brother’s room to tell him about Fallen in hopes he could explain this strange human to me. Hopefully he wouldn't be mad I woke him.

  Or mad I talked to another human.

  Two rhythms on the other side of the glass froze me. Why was there another human in the room? My brother should be the only one.

  My mind reeling, I dropped down. I wanted answers to my questions, but for the first time, I had no one to talk to. Long before the sun threatened to rise, I was back in my cellar, curled up in the corner and wishing I wasn’t so alone.

  ****

  Two rhythms beat on the other side of the window again. I scowled at the glass and my reflection scowl back. This was the second night in a row another human was in my brother's room.

  Who was with him?

  I dropped down and headed to the football field. I wandered up and down the bleachers, searched underneath, weaved across the field and looked in bathrooms and storage rooms, but Fallen wasn’t waiting for me.

  I never realized how much I liked having someone to talk to. I always said I didn't care if I had no one to speak with, it wasn’t important to my survival. Now it was all I craved. I slumped onto a stone bench, not caring about the light glowing above. Maybe a human would see me, stop and talk to me.

  No. I jumped to my feet and headed down the path. I didn’t need to talk to my brother every night, I told myself as I passed by his dorm and saw his window still shut. I was fine by myself I decided as I doubled checked the football field for Fallen. I didn’t need either of them.

  Fallen’s scent froze me as I stalked across a parking lot. Everything I had been trying to convince myself was forgotten as I whirled around and followed. I mused over what to talk about, but nothing came to mind. Something would present itself, I decided. She’d say something and I’d ask her to clarify.

  Her scent came from an open window on the second floor of one of the dorms. I climbed up, peering into the cluttered room and seeing a human curled up on one of the beds. I turned my gaze to Fallen. “I told you I wasn't doing this.”

  “I have no idea what you mean, but if you don't be quiet, my roommate will wake,” she replied innocently.

  I concentrated, pushing hard against her will to make my suggestion last. Without a word, she stood and exited the small room. I jumped down from her window and waited in the shadows by the door, grabbing and pulling her into the darkness. She blinked in confusion when I released her.

  “What just happened?”

  “I forced my will on you.”

  “My head hurts now.” She pressed her fingers to her forehead.

  I considered apologizing, but dismissed the idea. I told her I didn't want to go to her dorm room. Maybe if she didn't have a roommate or the roommate was gone, I'd consider it. Even then, I wasn't sure. Instinct asked, what did I really know about Fallen?

  “I don't care, take some pills,” I replied.

  Fallen’s glare turned into a sweet smile, her voice matching. “Now you know where to find me so I don't have to sit out on the field freezing all night.”

  I scowled at her. “It’s not wise to let someone know where you rest.”

  “Only for vampires.” She tilted her head, watching me. “Is something wrong? It almost looks like you’re upset.”

  “Past two nights there have been two heartbeats in my brother’s room. I don’t know who could be in there with him.”

  Fallen wandered around, a thoughtful look on her face and gaze cast up. “Maybe he's has a girlfriend. Or boyfriend.”

  “I know he has friends.”

  Fallen shook her head. “This would be different. More intimate.” She strolled closer, tapping a finger against my chest. “With more touching, some hugging, lots of kissing and no clothes.”

  I stepped back, irritated by her closeness. “And that's more intimate?”

  “Yes.” Fallen coyly smiled. “Maybe he thinks he's in love and whoever the lucky girl or boy is consumes his thoughts. I imagine you’re but a second thought to him now. Maybe not even. Maybe he's forgotten you.”

  I whirled around, Fallen's words mocking me as I dashed to my brother’s dorm. No one stole my brother from me. No one made him forget me. Whoever this human was, I was going to kill them! I didn't care if he didn't want me to kill them. All I had to do was look in his eyes and make him forget. He trusted me...

  He trusted me.

  The thought stopped me, fist millimeters from the glass. My brother trusted me and I had been ready to use that trust to hurt him. Almost killed a human I knew nothing about. Maybe the human was a friend spending the night. He had told me stories of us doing that when I was human. I couldn't see through the curtains to confirm. And even if it was as Fallen described, I had to accept it, had to accept that I was forgotten.

  I sighed, ashamed of myself.


  “Dan?” a female voice whispered on the other side of the window. “I heard something outside the window.”

  The curtain moved and a sliver of my brother's face appeared. A smile lit his face and the curtain swung back. “It's nothing, go back to sleep. I gotta go outside a second.”

  “Why?”

  “Go to sleep,” he replied and I heard a door open and close.

  I dropped down and paced under the lights, the second time in one night I didn't care if a human saw me.

  “Hey,” my brother padded over to me, barefoot, with no shirt.

  “Who is that human?” I demanded.

  The grin on his face faded and for a second I feared the worst. Then he sighed and shook his head. “I guess my note blew away.” He looked back at me. “That's my girlfriend.”

  “But you have friends.”

  “Yeah, but she's special. She's my girlfriend and that's different from just a friend. It's a bit more intimate.”

  “With kissing and hugging and no clothes?”

  He busted out laughing. “Hopefully there will be times like that, but we've only been dating a couple of days. Last night I invited her to stay, then tonight she asked if she could again. We're really hitting it off – getting along.”

  “So you haven't forgotten me?”

  He sighed, shaking his head again. “Who have you been eavesdropping on? I suggest you find a new source for human information because whoever it is has got relationships wrong.” He placed a hand on my shoulder. “No girl is ever gonna come between us, but there's gonna be times when I won't be around because I want to be with her. You panic too easily, worrying I'll turn into a normal human and chase after you with a torch and pitchfork.”

  “I wouldn't like that.”

  “Well, it isn’t gonna happen. You have to remember while you're resting, I'm wide awake living my human life that you’re one of many parts. My life doesn’t revolve around you and your life shouldn’t revolve around me.”

  I nodded.

  “I'm sorry I worried you, I wrote a note, but it must have fallen. Next time I'll use duct tape.” He looked up at the window, then back at me. “Are we good? Misunderstanding cleared up?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Great, I'm going back to bed.”

  I grabbed his arm, stopping him. “That's the first time you've touched me since I murdered Mom and Dad.”

  He looked down at my hand gripping his arm and placed his hand over mine. “Yeah, it is. Guess I just avoided it unconsciously.”

  “Maybe,” I agreed. I looked back up at the window, remembering the feeling of loneliness. “Can we talk tomorrow? I miss you.”

  “I miss you too. I'll try to be free tomorrow night and if not, I'll super glue the damn note to the window if I have to.” He placed a hand on my shoulder again, shuddering. “You feel like death.”

  I shoved him as softly as I could. He still stumbled from the force. “Go to sleep.”

  “You're not my aunt,” he teased back.

  “I'm better than that,” I said proudly. “I'm your brother.”

  “Peace,” he called as he disappeared inside.

  I turned to head back the way I came. I should have known better than to jump to conclusions. My brother would never forget me. Why had I believed Fallen? I shouldn’t have, I decided.

  And I won’t ever again.

  Fallen’s face brightened when she saw me, but the expression quickly turned to shock as I grabbed her throat. I lifted her off the ground, my voice hissing. “You told me my brother forgot me. My brother would never forget, abandon or leave me. You lied. I don't like lying, it's pointless and I'll kill anyone who lies to me.”

  She struggled against my grip, her hand clawing at mine. “I didn’t lie. Please, let me explain.”

  “What if I don't want to listen?” I hissed. “What if I just want to kill you?”

  “You'd be killing an innocent human and you’re not like that.” Her voice rasped as I tightened my grip.

  “I have no problems killing innocent humans.”

  “But I was trying to help. I didn't mean for you to think I was lying. Please put me down and I'll explain.”

  I debated her words. It'd be easy enough to catch her if she ran. Desire flared at the idea of chasing her down and drinking her blood. I pushed the desire back and let her feet touch the ground. Before I let go, I gave her fair warning.

  “If you run, I will catch you and kill you.”

  She didn’t move as I released her. Her voice shook as she rushed to explain. “I had an older sister; not a twin, but we were close. Then she met this guy and everything changed. She no longer had time for me and I felt abandoned, like I had lost her forever. We haven’t talked in years.”

  “And you thought my brother was going to do that to me?”

  She shrugged, refusing to meet my gaze. “I wanted to spare you the hurt. I wasn’t lying, I swear.”

  How did I know if her words were the truth? She could be lying in an attempt to save her neck. But if she was telling the truth and I killed her, I'd be destroying the only other human I talked to. I debated for a long moment, watching Fallen stand as still as possible.

  “Fine,” I finally said. “I believe you and won’t kill you.”

  Fallen fell to the ground, a wavering smile on her face and her voice trembling. “I'm very glad to hear that.”

  I didn’t reply, my mind drifting to my hunger. I'd be lying if I said the thought of drinking her blood hadn't excited me. The anticipation rolled through me; every part of me ready to hunt and the need was strong enough that I could argue I had to. “I want blood now.”

  Fallen looked up, eyes going wide. “Oh.”

  “I said I wasn't going to kill you.”

  “Oh.” She quickly looked away, cheeks turning pink. “I thought maybe you'd want a sip.”

  “Why would I want only a sip?”

  “I dunno,” she replied and fell silent.

  I shook my head. Fallen never ceased to confuse me. “I’m going now.”

  She jumped to her feet, grabbed my arm and looked into my eyes, no signs of her earlier fear left in their depths. “Can we get together tomorrow night?”

  “I haven't thought that far ahead.”

  “I'll wait for you here,” Fallen called as I disappeared into the night.

  I headed down the highway at a quick pace, heading to the nearest city, blending with the shadows as much as possible. This city was different from New York City, their Vampire Forces was more tenacious and the humans didn’t hesitate to raise the alarm when I was seen. It made the hunt more thrilling as I hid in the shadows, stalked the human and delivered the blow that knocked them out.

  The streets were like the highway, quiet and deserted. A breeze blew, sending debris dancing around my feet. I felt alone, the only creature in the darkness as I searched for any signs of bad humans.

  It came out of nowhere, the blow throwing me to the ground. My chin smacked the pavement, teeth slamming together with a loud snap. Pain throbbed through me as I scrambled to my feet to face my attacker.

  The vampire glared at me, flashing long fangs. His eyes narrowed, a glint of light making the black depths look evil. Twitching his fingers, he moved from side to side. A slow hiss escaped his lips, his message obvious. These were his hunting grounds.

  A small part of my mind told me to back away carefully; this wasn't a fight I should get into. But another part spoke louder. It urged me to not back down; this vampire wasn't older than me. Fight!

  I dropped into a defensive crouch. My lips pulled back to show my fangs, hands clenched into fists as I met the vampire's challenge. For a long moment we stared each other down, waiting for the other to make a move. My mind raced, trying to predict where he'd strike and how to counter him.

  With a snarl, the vampire lunged. I threw my hands out, twisting around and knocking him down. I jumped at his exposed back, teeth clamped onto his shoulder, trying to rip flesh away. He snarled in pain
, pushing back and crushing me against the wall. My grip on him loosened and he grabbed my neck, throwing me into a telephone pole. Each blow he struck sent pain racing through me. My instincts cried at me and survival kicked into over-drive.

  I sprinted into motion, trying to escape, but the vampire grabbed me and threw me into another building. My vision spun around, dizziness slamming into me like a gale force wind. I slumped against the wall, watching as he came at me, fangs bared. The two needle sharp teeth raked across my face, creating a fiery path of pain. More pain laced down my neck, the vampire biting again. I felt flesh tear away, too weak to stop it.

  Vaguely, through layers of pain, I heard a noise. A quick chirp. The vampire wailing on me disappeared in an instant. Red and blue lights flashed across my pain-filled vision. What an unlikely savior.

  But not if I remained here.

  I forced myself to move, stumbling down the street and away from the flashing lights. Voices yelled from behind, ordering me to freeze. I kept running, ignoring the pain my movements caused. I didn't stop until I was safe in my cellar. The cool floor eased the pain throbbing through me as I stretched out on it. Quickly, I drifted away, feeling closer to death than my turning three years ago.

  ****

  It was almost surprising I woke. While resting, my mind had been blank and my body teetering on actual death. The pain had lessened to something more tolerable, a steady throb that I found relatively easy to ignore. The injuries on my cheek stung as I traced my finger along one. I had never been injured before. How much blood it would take to heal? Since I was no longer at risk of dying and my need only murmured softly, I decided I could spare a few moments to see my brother first.

  The window to his room was open, causing yellow light to spill out. The sight was a relief. I hadn't wanted to find a closed and curtained window with a note for me.

  Checking for humans, I stepped out of the shadows and limped across the sidewalk into the shadow of the dorm. Another quick look around confirmed still no humans in sight. My climb took a little longer, my energy and strength weakened by my injuries. Another thing blood would fix. Finally, I slid through the window, wincing in pain.