Being Human

by Patricia Lynne

  His face wavered. A grin filled his face, laughter cutting up his words as he shoved me out of the car. “Get out of here. Go rest.”

  ****

  It felt good to be back underground. I didn't feel like I was being slowly baked alive or vulnerable to discovery. I curled in the corner of the cellar, resting peacefully and debating whether I should hunt or not.

  I was border line on the idea. The day above ground had whipped me bad. I was weak from the draining heat, but the small taste of my brother's blood had staved off the hunger that had roared to life. If I wanted, I could skip.

  But if I wanted, I could hunt.

  “Decisions, decisions,” I muttered to myself.

  As the day progressed, I thought of hunting less and less. Unease curled through my stomach and I knew the feeling wasn’t mine. I had no reason to be agitated while I was safe in my cellar. Something had upset my brother and it resonated through our bond.

  Hunting could wait another night.

  At sunset, I took the shortest route back to the college. Recklessly, I darted under lights and across open parking lots. I scrambled up the side of the dorm, forced to stop by the closed window. I lightly tapped on the glass, but the window stayed shut, the other side dark. I pressed my ear to it, only hearing the rhythms in rooms around me.

  I looked for the note my brother always left, then dropped down to scan the ground where it must have fallen. Frustration welled as my search yielded nothing. Why hadn't he left me a note? He always did, always let me know if he wasn't going to be around.

  Maybe something happened to him.

  I scrambled back up, tugging at the window, trying to open it, but it refused. Feeling frantic, I broke it and crawled through. I searched the small, dark room, scouring every inch in my quest for clues to my brother's whereabouts. I paced back and forth when nothing appeared out of place. Where was he? Had someone taken him? Grabbed him while he was on his way here? Why would a human want to take him? Had Vampire Forces found him?

  I whirled around as the door slowly opened, expecting Vampire Forces, but seeing my brother instead.

  “Tommy!” he yelped, quickly shutting the door. His eyes stopped on the shattered glass at my feet, eyes widening. He rushed to the window. “Did you break into my room? Ah hell, how am I going to explain that?”

  “I didn't see a note and you always leave one,” I replied.

  “So you broke my window?” He fell on his bed, gripping his hair. “Do you know what overreaction means? Because you do it. All the time!”

  I stood there, not knowing what to say. Finally I said the only thing I could. “I'm sorry, I was worried.”

  “It's fine.” he muttered, picking up large pieces of glass and tossing them in the trash. “It's just been a long, eventful day.”

  Should I be helping him clean the mess? I decided yes and started picking up pieces. “What happened?”

  “Your girlfriend,” he replied and I growled. “She followed me all day. Even went to all my classes. That's why I'm so late; I was trying to lose her. I finally did when I ran into the admin building and found a spot to hide. But that's not the worst part.” He held out his hand, showing me his bandaged wrist. He pulled it off. Dark bruises surrounded the two punctures that had scabbed over. “The worst part was she saw this.”

  “What did she do?”

  “Apparently, you're not very fair,” he replied icily. “I told her it was nothing; I banged my wrist up on something stupid. She didn't believe me. She said I didn't deserve that honor and why did you pick me and all this other crap that wasn't true. The only good thing was she knew to keep her voice down so everyone wouldn't hear. Her two friends tried to calm her down, but that made things worse. She told us, Just you wait until he turns me.”

  A cold feeling settled in my chest as I remember other words she said.

  Find them first.

  I understood what that meant now. If Fallen was turned, she'd find her friends first. The memories would be there, fading, but that would be enough to get her to her friends and kill them. Would the memories also get her to my brother?

  The cold feeling died, replaced by heat. I was done hiding from her and trying to salvage the fragile friendship. I knew what I needed to do.

  I stayed all night with my brother. A few times he tried to sleep; tossing and turning only to turn the light back on and talk to me more. Worry was etched on his face, his eyes darting to the door. He worried Fallen would finally call Vampire Forces. His reasoning was if Fallen couldn't have what she wanted, then she might believe no one should.

  As the sky started to lighten, he climbed out of bed. “Come on, I'll drive you back again. I don't want her sneaking up on you and catching you as the sun comes up.”

  “She was good at sneaking up on me.”

  He shook his head. “I thought vampires had super senses.”

  “I have good senses,” I protested. “She was lucky.”

  He scoffed. “It wasn't luck, it was stalking. She probably camped out, watching my room and waiting for you.”

  Like the other night, we snuck to his car and escaped the campus and Fallen.

  “I think I'm skipping classes today,” he sighed, eyes checking the mirrors.

  “You didn't sleep much.”

  He yawned. “This whole thing with her is unsettling. I've never heard of a wannabe being so...”

  “Insane?” I offered.

  He laughed. “She's something. You know, I think everything that's happened lately proves people aren't as scared of vampires as the news makes us out to be. I mean, no one called VF when you crashed the party. I think people could learn to co-exist with vampires.”

  “Can you learn to live with something that might kill you?”

  He shrugged. “Animals in the wild do it. Maybe the most people could do is learn to accept the existence of vampires. We'd never be able to truly live together, but we'd learn to deal with each other without the fear.”

  “I think vampires and humans should stay separate.”

  “It is kind of hard to imagine vampires and people going to school together.” He pulled into the over-run driveway and turned to me, apprehension on his face. “I wish you had a phone; then if something bad happened, you could call.”

  “What would go wrong?”

  “You might get caught and destroyed.”

  “You'd feel it.”

  “I'd rather not.”

  I touched his shoulder, feeling him shudder. “I'll be there tomorrow night. Safe and alive.”

  He snorted. “Alive, right. I'll leave the window wide open – after I get it fixed.” He gave me a weak smile, reluctant to leave. “Have a good rest. Peace.”

  “Peace,” I echoed as he pulled away.

  I wandered to the cellar, jumping down. My energy drained as the sun broke the horizon above and I started to drift away. Fallen didn't know where I rested, she'd have to wait until sunset to try to find me and convince me to turn her. Until then I was safe.

  “Tommy.”

  ****

  It wasn't a choice. It was survival.

  The weight on my shoulders was uncomfortable. Not because it was too heavy or because I had been carrying it for miles, but because of what – who – I was carrying. Satisfied with the distance between the college and us, I set her down. Blank eyes stared at me, but I swore I saw betrayal and a plea asking why.

  “I told you what would happen. I said I'd kill you!” I told her.

  Fallen had found my resting place. As the sun slowly moved across the sky, she appeared. In the darkness, she smiled and curled against me. I was too weak to push her away. She knew I was powerless too; I had told her that myself. She talked the whole time, voice gentle. She said finding me was a sign, she was supposed to be a vampire and once the sun set I had to turn her.

  Then she leaned forward and pressed warm lips against mine. She told me she had been longing to do that since we met. She continued kissing me, my ears, my neck and my cheek
s. She even gently bit me.

  I longed for the sun to set and have energy course through me so I could move. I wanted her away from me, to stop touching me with blood filled hands. It was torture, feeling her warm body, unable to do anything. Hunger and need raged in me, desire building. I tried to tell her to stop, explain how much her touch hurt me, but I didn’t have the strength.

  The moment the sun set, I was on her. She bared her neck, a smile on her lips. I inhaled her scent and let myself fall into desire. Relief was instant when I bit and I sucked hard to draw each drop out of her.

  “When do you do the turning part?” she had asked at one point.

  But I had no intention of turning her. She found my resting place and invaded it while I was vulnerable. I was caught up in desire, but need was fueling it. Survival trumped everything.

  “Hey, when do you do the turning part?” she repeated. Then she pushed at me, but I gripped her tighter, digging my fangs deeper. Fear surged through her blood and fueled the desire more. “Tommy, stop!” she shrieked, then screamed for help.

  I grabbed her by the forehead, slamming her head against the wall. The crack echoed in the tiny room and she fell limp. When the blood was gone, I let her fall to the floor. I knew it had to be done, but it still didn't feel right.

  I knelt next to her, touching her cheek. Her skin was cool, her arms and legs stiff. She felt like me, but unlike me, she wasn't waking back up.

  “I am sorry,” I told her. “But I can't stop surviving.”

  I left her where she wouldn’t be found, surrounded by nature. If the humans found her, they'd link her back to the college. I couldn’t risk both my brother and myself being discovered again.

  His window was open and fixed, like he promised. Warm light spilled out, inviting and friendly. I stood in the shadows, staring up. I didn't want to face him and tell him what I had done. I was too ashamed.

  Head hanging, I returned to my resting spot. Her scent hung heavy in the air, reminding me of what I had done. I curled in the corner, my head tucked in my arms to cut the smell off.

  I spent the night that way, surrounded by memories of the night before. The day was a curse. At night I had the choice to leave, but during the day I was stuck. My only consolation was her scent faded, lifting into the air and drifting away.

  When night fell, I continued sitting in my corner, not wanting to move, but at the same time wanting to run away. I had tainted this cellar and put bad memories in it. Now I understood why my brother said our home was tainted. I understood how he felt about me murdering our parents.

  “Tommy!”

  His voice cut into my thoughts. The walls behind me vibrated from his footsteps. He called again, closer this time. I listened to him walk above me, felt his anxiety and worry for me. I said I'd be there last night and I never showed. He had to be fearing the worst, like I had time and time again.

  I waited a few minutes, letting him move farther away from the cellar door, then climbed out and trudged after him. “I'm here.”

  He whirled around and ran to me, hugging me tightly. “What happened? I waited up half the night for you. Fell asleep next to the window. My neck is killing me.”

  “Can you not use that word?” I kept my face turned into his shoulder, reluctant to look at him.

  He bent his knees, lowering to see my face. Slight apprehension glimmered in his eyes and a knowing look that said his mind already guessed what was wrong. “It's okay. You know I won't judge you.”

  “I had to,” I muttered. “She found where I rested during the day.”

  His face paled. “She found you during the day? How?”

  “I don't know.”

  “She spent the whole day with you?” His eyes roamed over me, searching for something. “Did she hurt you?”

  I shook my head. “No, she mostly talked about how finding me meant I had to turn her.”

  “Mostly?” His face darkened, something flashing in his eyes. “Did she touch you?”

  I wasn't sure why that upset him. “Yes.”

  His lips pressed into a tight line. “She found where you rested, spent the day with you, did... things, then what? What happened when the sun went down?”

  I looked away. “I killed her.”

  “Okay,” he said in an emotionless voice.

  “You're not sad?”

  “I have no sympathy for her. Everyone knows people who look for vampires get killed. She asked and you said no. You did what you needed to do to survive,” he replied.

  “She was my friend and I didn't want to kill her,” I said softly.

  Some of the hardness left his face. “I know, I felt your pain all day and knew something was wrong. It’s why I came looking for you.”

  “I'm glad you came looking. I tainted this place. Where am I going to rest now?”

  “Do you really want to find a new spot?”

  I shook my head.

  “Then don't let the bad things chase you away from what you want. You want to know what I realized I want to do one day?” He smiled at me. “I want to go back home, to our house, and replace the bad memories with good ones.”

  I mulled over his words. Could I wash bad memories away with good ones? Leaving the cellar behind wasn't what I wanted. It was a good resting place.

  “Come on.” I pulled him back the way we'd come and dropped into the cellar.

  He peered over the side, eyes wide. “You've got to be kidding.”

  “Just jump.”

  “It's like a twenty foot drop! I might break a leg!”

  “There's a ladder.”

  He looked at the broken ladder. “I don't think so.”

  “Come on,” I pleaded. “I want to replace the bad memories.”

  “I think you're doing fine as it is. I'm good up here, you're great down there.”

  I rolled my eyes and climbed out. I flung him over my shoulder, dropping back down. He gasped and swore as I sat him down. Fishing into his pocket, he pulled a lighter. The small flame flickered as he wandered around the cellar.

  “So, this is it? It’s… empty.”

  “I don't own anything.”

  He turned to me with an amused smile. “Maybe I'll buy you a poster for your next birthday.”

  ****

  My brother was waiting for me the next night. He sat on the hood of his car, his face vacant and arms folded tightly. Without a word or looking up, he tossed a newspaper at me.

  I flipped the paper over and revealed the one human I didn’t want to see. Her skin was white in contrast to her black hair and her face was full of life with a happy smile filling it. For a brief second, the image changed. Dead eyes accused me from the face of a corpse. I tore my eyes away as a surge of regret rolled through me. Calming myself, I opened my eyes and read.

  College Student Missing

  Police are searching for Amber Diane Tally, age nineteen, who went missing late Wednesday night. She was last seen by fellow classmates leaving her dormitory and gave no word to where she was going or when she'd return. Friends say she frequently missed classes and often disappeared for long periods of time, but never more than a day.

  Unconfirmed reports say a vampire was spotted on campus and an investigation is underway to see if the two are related. Witnesses said, on many occasions, a vampire was seen talking with students. Others suggest vampires have been drawn in by sympathizers, easy targets for a ruthless vampire.

  Police say many disappearances are thought to be vampire victims. Victims go missing for days before their bodies are found, drained of blood. The police urge anyone with information on Miss Tally or the vampire sightings to please call Vampire Forces.

  There is a candlelight vigil being held on campus for Miss Tally's safe return.

  “I can feel your dread,” my brother said. “Campus was crawling with VF and cops today. I saw them talking with her friends and they must have told VF everything because they knocked on my door shortly after. They asked if I had heard anything about a vampire on
campus or someone calling to it. I could tell by their tones they thought it was me. They knew who I was, kept bringing up what happened three years ago. It took all I had to answer their questions and not slam the door in their faces. Before I came here, I drove around for an hour, paranoid I was being followed.”

  “What do we do?” I asked, glancing nervously at the overgrown driveway.

  He sighed deeply, rubbing his face. “I dunno, my mind's fried from the stress. I can't even add two and two right now.” He pushed off the car, pacing back and forth. Anger flared in my chest, his anger. “This is high school all over again. Everyone knows I'm the one with connections to a vampire, thinks I'm a sympathizer and will wind up dead. VF is breathing down my neck, wanting to relocate me again and set a trap. Aunt Dee and Uncle Dick have already decided I need to go back into therapy. It was such a pain convincing that shrink I was rehabilitated. I don't want to go through that crap again.”

  “Sorry,” I offered, knowing this was my fault.

  He slammed to a halt, his face tightened with a mixture of emotions I wasn't quite able to catch. “Don't apologize or regret coming to see me that night. I’m the one that called you, I’m the one to blame.” He reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder. “No matter how far they drag me this time, I'll find you.” His lips quirked into a grin. “I know where you rest.”

  Part Three: Monsters

  Home.

  Familiar scents filled the air and the few memories I had floated in my head as I stood in the doorway of the house before me. I felt for the key, finding it hidden along the top of the door. It slid in, the door soundlessly opening.

  The living room was dimly lit, the only source of light a small lamp next to an overstuffed chair. Long shadows from the rest of the furniture stretched across the room. I moved around the couch, past a coffee table with newspapers littered on it, a TV along a wall and over a stack of video games.