Being Human

by Patricia Lynne

  “I’m safe now,” she replied and set the sandwich aside.

  Her body pressed against me and again, I wondered what would it be like to kiss her? But she cringed whenever my lips neared her skin and I knew she wasn’t ready. I wanted to do something though, something more intimate and there was only one thing I knew.

  I tilted her head to the left, exposing her neck. Her pulse throbbed under the skin and the rhythm picked up as my lips neared. Hunger rumbled through me, her scent tickling my nose. A burst of blood hit my tongue as my fangs sliced through her skin. Instinctively, my grip tightened with a possessiveness that said this prey was mine.

  But that’s not what I wanted.

  I pushed the hunger, need and desire to drink back and relaxed my grip. The blood pooled in my mouth as I stopped sucking, and with one last swallow, I let her go. Her skin was white, eyes as wide as the moon and a tremble rolled through her.

  “I wasn’t feeding on you,” I assured her. “I wanted to be intimate with you and that’s the only way I know how.”

  Her fingers touched her neck and came away stained with blood. Each breath she took shook her body. She moved to her bed, silent as she sank to it.

  Worry filled me at her lack of expression. “Please speak.”

  “My neck feels numb.”

  “That’s normal.”

  She didn’t speak again and desperation curled through me.

  “I thought it’d be all right. I’m sorry.”

  Her hand dropped from her neck and clutched a fistful of blanket. Determination flashed across her face like lightning. Slowly, she rose and faced me. She pressed her bloody fingers to my lips as the other hand curled around the back of my neck. She pulled me against her and pressed her forehead against mine. “I’m ready.”

  ****

  Sunlight lay across from me, our hands linked together. Wiggling, she moved closer and wrapped her arms around my neck. A blush colored her cheeks as she tugged the blanket back up.

  I brushed my fingers through her hair. “I am never going to understand humans.”

  She laughed, then brushed her nose against mine. “I’ll let you in on a little secret. We don’t understand ourselves most of the time.” Her blush deepened as her gaze dropped from mine. “How’s this for intimate?”

  “Very good.”

  “Probably not what you expected.”

  I tilted my head. “What was I supposed to expect?”

  When she said she was ready, there hadn’t been a trace of fear in her scent. Only nervousness. The nervousness grew as she pulled her clothing off, and then mine. Next, she pulled me to her bed, having me lay down before crawling in and facing me. Neither of us moved as time slipped by and slowly her nervousness disappeared.

  Now it was back.

  She chewed on her bottom lip. “Sex?”

  I nodded. “I understand sex, but why do you think I would expect it?”

  “I thought I was ready for sex, that I could do it if it was you, but…” She dropped her gaze, red creeping across her face. “I’m really glad nothing happened. I’m not ready.”

  She sat up and started dressing. I followed suit and dressed, pulling her close when finished. Together, we laid back down, Sunlight tucked tightly against me. She drifted to sleep, her face looking so peaceful. Around us, the smell of her fear faded into nothing. She finally felt safe in her home.

  When I felt the sun approach, I gave her a shake. She blinked sleepily at me, then curled up against my chest. I shook her again. “I have to go.”

  “No, I don’t want you to,” she murmured.

  “I don’t want to either, but the day is too hot for me.” My smile barely contained my happiness at her words. I pressed my lips to her ear and she squirmed against me. “We’ll always be together,” I whispered, then tore myself away and slid out the window.

  ****

  Voices from the TV floated through the air and light spilled through the open basement door. I stared at it, confused. It should be closed, was always closed, especially if I was resting in the basement. I darted up and peered into the living room. Dan, as always, was hidden behind a newspaper while Rissa lounged next to him and watched the TV.

  Downstairs normal, I headed upstairs and stopped outside my niece’s door. Rhythms beat on the other side and two scents tugged at me. I tapped a few times, then pushed the door open.

  Sunlight sat on my niece’s bed, her smile glowing. She blushed as I sat next to her and tugged her close. “Did you rest well?”

  I nodded. “I had happy thoughts about you.”

  “Aha!” My niece jumped to her feet, her finger aimed at me. “There is the proof Dad has been looking for to prove you’re still human.”

  I looked between the two. “What?”

  Sunlight giggled and turned her head against my shoulder. “She’s saying you think about what every other teenage boy thinks about.”

  My niece fell back on her bed. “Sex!”

  Downstairs, I heard Rissa. “Did she just yell what I think she did? Mackenzie, downstairs, NOW!”

  “Ah crap,” my niece sighed and stomped out the door. After a minute of arguing with Rissa, in which my niece declared she was fifteen and should no longer be treated like a child, she stormed back into her bedroom. “Mom drives me bonkers sometimes. I’m not encouraging you two to have sex. She also says to tell you Dad's ready to take you home, Jamie.”

  Sunlight’s cheer died. “I was supposed to be home an hour ago. They won’t mind. I’ll just tell them we lost track of time.” She rose and brushed her nose against mine. “See you tomorrow night. Bye, Mackenzie.”

  My niece grinned once we were alone. “You and Jamie are the cutest couple I have ever seen. I swear, if I met a guy as sweet as you, I’d die!”

  I bit back a growl, thinking if a human ever made her want to die, I'd kill him first.

  “Unfortunately, the guys in my class are immature losers,” my niece sighed. “Of course,” she continued and wrapped an arm around me. Her eyes glimmered mischievously. “I have the best uncle in the world. Use you to keep any boyfriend I have in line. Make him buy me gifts every day.”

  I looked at the woven threads around my wrist. “Am I Sunlight’s boyfriend?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Is Jamie special to you? All you can think about? All you want to think about?”

  I nodded.

  “Yup, you’re her boyfriend.”

  “But I haven’t given her a gift every day.”

  “You don’t have to give her a gift every day, I was exaggerating,” my niece laughed. She scooted closer to me. “You want to do something special for Jamie?”

  I nodded.

  “Then leave it to me.”

  ****

  A date was what my niece had in mind. She explained the concept to me. Three times. Then Dan tried explaining. I stared between the two, trying to understand. How would the date help me and Sunlight survive? Why was it important to our relationship? Nothing either of them said answered those questions.

  Now, Sunlight sat across from me at the kitchen table, a plate of food before her. Her short hair was pinned back with pink and red flowers, silver sparkled around her eyes and her lips were ruby red. The dress she wore was black with a silver belt cinched at the waist. When she arrived, all I had been able to do was stare, only tearing my gaze away to look at Dan and silently ask, Now what?

  Silence filled the space between us, awkward and heavy. She toyed with her food, eyes avoiding mine. I struggled for a way to break the silence, say something to make this moment special, a date.

  “Do you like the flowers?” I finally asked.

  Sunlight fingered the roses next to her. “They’re beautiful.”

  “They’re dying.”

  She touched the flowers again while her eyes studied the transformed kitchen. The usual knickknacks had disappeared into drawers, replaced by red hearts that dangled off edges and from the ceiling. A red cloth draped over the table with two candles bur
ning in the middle.

  “They’re still beautiful, everything is.”

  “My niece did everything and told me I couldn’t help. She said I’d get in the way and ask too many questions.”

  A small laugh escaped Sunlight before she fell back into silence. She took a bite of food. “Food is good.”

  I looked at her plate of noodles and sauce. “I don’t know what it is.”

  She gathered another forkful and held it out to me. “Would you like to try a bite?”

  I leaned forward and opened my mouth. The noodles were soft and warm, the sauce spicy on my tongue. I chewed, the pressure on my teeth uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as the taste. The taste coated my tongue and cheeks, lingering as I worked to gulp down the food.

  Sunlight laughed. “Your face is priceless.”

  I coughed, wishing for blood to wash the horrid taste away. “I don’t like human food, it’s too complex tasting.”

  She laughed again and dabbed at my mouth with her napkin. She settled back in the chair and a sad sigh escaped her. “Tommy, this is…”

  I rested my hand against her cheek. “Don't be sad, you're supposed to be happy and...” My voice died, my attention drawn to the flickering flames.

  I had been trying hard to ignore the candles; my niece told me they would set the mood of the date. But it was hard to ignore the burning heat, the dancing flame that reached for me from the moment they were lit. To me, all I saw was danger.

  Sunlight followed my gaze, her expression dark as she stared at the candles. Quietly, she rose and clicked the light over the stove on. With a huff, she blew the candles out. She sat back down with a satisfied look. “That’s better.”

  I moved to her side. “My Sunlight, you’re the only light I need.”

  Her blush burned against my skin. She tensed when I moved closer, my lips grazing across her forehead, but she didn’t stop me or pull away. She trusted me. I moved to her ear and she squirmed as I whispered, “You look beautiful.”

  Awe filled her voice. “Really?”

  I nodded, anger glowing in my chest. Every human alive should tell her she was beautiful.

  A sliver of light glowed from the kitchen door as my niece poked her head in. “Uncle, hurry up, it’s almost time for the movie. And don’t forget the gift.”

  I fumbled in my pocket, fingers wrapping around the velvety box that contained a ring. It was the only part of the date my niece let me help with and I knew the instant I saw the words on the ring, You are my love, my life, my sunlight, it was my gift to Sunlight.

  But I hesitated to present the gift. Something about the moment didn’t feel right, something was missing, but I didn’t know what. I left the box in my pocket and took Sunlight’s hand. “Come on, I have to take you to a movie.”

  Her smile faltered. “You mean at a theater? Why aren’t we watching something here? What if someone sees you and calls VF?”

  I shrugged and led her into the living room. There, my niece watched with excitement. Dan stood next to her, his eyes catching mine and telling me his thoughts.

  Should not do this, it’s too dangerous. Should be the bad guy and put my foot down. Rissa will back me up; she agrees Mackenzie doesn’t understand yet. Why can’t I make her understand what I learned all those years ago? Don’t make me do this, lil’ bro.

  “Tommy, you ready to go?” he asked softly instead.

  I looked from him to my niece, then Sunlight. I wanted to make this date work, to give Sunlight a special night she’d always remember. But Dan’s thoughts continued to echo through my mind, his plea repeating. Don’t make me do this, lil’ bro. Don’t make me do this… I took a step back and shook my head.

  “No.”

  I felt Dan’s relief through our bond and saw Sunlight’s tension drain away. My niece stared in confusion. I hated the look on her face, knowing I was crushing the hopes I glimpsed in her thoughts, the lie that my presence in her life encouraged. But Dan was right, she needed to understand the truth.

  “I can’t go, it’s too dangerous for me,” I said.

  “Let it be,” Dan cut my niece off before she could reply.

  She stormed away in annoyance with Rissa on her heels.

  Dan patted my shoulder. “Don’t worry, lil’ bro. It’s time she accepted what I did back in college. People won’t accept vampires, not even you.”

  “It felt fake, I didn't like it.”

  “That's why it was the right thing,” he said. He lifted an eyebrow and I heard one thought loud and clear. My little brother the vampire, all human and in love.

  Not a human, I thought and he grinned as if he heard me.

  “Come on, I’ll pick out a movie and you two can finish your date,” he said.

  Sunlight and I settled on the couch as Dan sifted through the movies. She took my hand, brushing it against her lips. “Getting there.”

  I curled my hand around the box in my pocket. “Yes, we are.”

  Dan climbed to his feet, giving us a stern, but mocking look. “Don’t stay up too late, kids.”

  ****

  I stood in my niece’s doorway, watching her. Her eyes were locked on the book before her and lips pressed into a tight light. The only sign she gave that she knew I was standing there was the pen in her hand had fallen still. Tense seconds passed, my voice struggling. I never wanted to use her name against her, never had to, but I needed her to listen to me, so I had to say her name.

  “M-ma-mackenzie.”

  My niece’s face was full of innocence when she looked up. “Yes, Tommy?”

  I sighed. “Please don’t be like that.”

  Anger flashed through her eyes and she threw her pen down. “Don’t be like what? It was a movie, the theater would have been dark. All you would have had to do was sneak in through the exit. If anyone saw you, they…”

  “Mackenzie!” I snapped, startling both her and myself. “I know what you want to believe would happen, but that’s not what would have happened.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Yes, I do. I know how humans feel about vampires and nothing you can say or hope will change that.” I moved to her side. “When you were little, your mother told me once she wondered if letting you interact with me was a bad idea. I was hurt by it, but as you grew I started to understand why she worried. While you’ve always kept quiet about me, you don’t see me like the other humans do.”

  “I see my uncle.

  “Exactly, but the other humans don’t. They see a vampire.”

  “If they gave you a chance…”

  I shook my head. “I wouldn’t treat other humans the same as I do my family. They’re not wrong about me or vampires. They are the prey and I am the hunter.”

  “But Jamie, you don’t want to hurt her.”

  “And I honestly don’t understand why. I don’t understand why I love her or what about her makes me love her. If I didn’t love her, I would treat her like the rest of the humans. If you weren’t family, you wouldn’t be safe from me either.” I took her hands. “I do wish humans didn’t hate me the way they do, but there’s nothing either of us can do. You have to accept that. For me.”

  “But it’s not fair.”

  “I know,” I told her. “But humans are just trying to survive and I can’t argue against that. My life revolves around surviving.”

  “Dad does say that’s the magic word for you.” She turned silent for a moment before sighing. “Okay, I’ll learn to accept that people won’t see you the way I do.” She poked my chest, a glimmer of defiance in her eyes determined to survive. “But I don’t have to like it.”

  ****

  “Hey, Tommy?”

  I tilted my head at Sunlight, waiting for her to continue. Instead, she buried her face against my chest. “Never mind.”

  I sighed and brushed my nose against her ear. “Why do you always do that to me? Sound like you want to talk, then say never mind.”

  Her blush burned my skin. “Maybe because I like
hearing you talk, but I can’t figure out what else to say so I say never mind.”

  “You like listening to me talk?”

  She shrugged, twisting the ring I gave her on her finger. “You have a nice voice, with lots of depth.”

  “Most humans think my voice has no emotion.”

  “Your voice has emotion, it’s just quiet and quick, but I always hear it,” she replied. A shiver rolled through her and she curled tighter against me.

  “Do you want to go upstairs? It can get pretty cold down here my brother says. I like it, but I don’t want you to shiver all night,” I offered.

  “I like it down here,” she replied and picked up the picture I took of myself. It was her favorite, always making her smile. “It’s quiet down here.”

  “At least let me get you a blanket.”

  She nodded and I hurried up the stairs. I pulled a blanket off the couch, then skipped the last five steps on my way back down. She squeaked when I reappeared and wrapped it around her shoulders. Instantly, her shivering subsided.

  “Tommy?”

  “Do not say never mind,” I warned.

  She giggled then hid her face in the blanket. “Never mind.”

  She erupted into fits of laughter when I dragged her to me and pressed my nose to her ear. She fought to free herself, but the blanket pinned her arms. Finally, I stopped my assault and she panted to regain her breath.

  “What were you going to say?” I asked once her breathing had slowed.

  She shook her head. “Nothing, just a silly thought.”

  “Nothing you think is silly,” I replied. “Tell me what you’re thinking. I hate not knowing, makes me feel like I’m forgetting. Vampires don’t like to forget.”

  “Fine, but I want you to know it’s just a wish and can never happen.” She took a deep breath. “There’s a dance in two weeks, a Halloween dance, and since it’s a costume dance, I thought it would be fun if you and I could go. Like I said, silly.”