Being Human

by Patricia Lynne

  Something inside me clicked at the softness in her voice and suddenly, it didn’t matter.

  It didn’t matter how dangerous it would be for me to go to this dance. All that mattered was what she wanted and how much I wanted to do this for her. With everything I had, I wanted to take her to the dance, see her glowing among the humans and know that when it came to love, hers was for me.

  “Let's do it,” I whispered. “Let’s go to the dance. I want to take you.”

  Her eyes widened, then she laughed and threw her arms around me. She paused, uncertainty filling her eyes. “We’ll need costumes, something that will cover your whole face. Maybe a mask. I dunno, I haven’t done anything for Halloween in years.”

  “We can ask my niece, she’ll know what to do.” I frowned. “She might be mad I want to do this when I refused to go to the movies.”

  More doubt filled Sunlight’s eyes. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this. I mean, what makes it less dangerous than you taking me to a movie? Someone could see you and realize you’re not human. What if I lose you?”

  I pulled her close. “I want to do this for you.”

  “What about need? Don’t you need to survive?”

  “I can’t argue against survival.” I took her hands and looked into her eyes. “But I want you to be happy as much as I need to survive.”

  She curled her fingers around mine and squeezed. “I am happy.”

  We fell into silence and let the night slip by. Hunger murmured and grew, distracting me from the costume dance and Sunlight. Her scent tugged at my need, making my stomach rumble.

  “I’m hungry.” The words slipped out.

  Sunlight didn’t speak, she simply tilted her neck.

  I grazed my nose against the rhythm beating under the skin. The few times I had bit her, the taste had been wonderful. Sweet and fulfilling, everything I needed to survive. I licked my lips once, tasting her scent on my tongue. “That is not a good idea.”

  “You're strong enough to never hurt me,” she whispered.

  “No, I love you too much to want to hurt you.”

  ****

  The noise was deafening, thundering and rattling the windows with a steady beat as the floor shook as if wracked by an earthquake. Bright lights flashed orange and purple, reflecting off the shaking windows. Thin smoke drifted along the floor, pouring from black pots placed around the room. Orange pumpkins with crude, smiling faces were piled in corners. A huge, silver orb hung from the ceiling, throwing light across the floor. In the middle of the room, humans filled the space, moving in time to the thundering music.

  What was I doing?

  I asked myself a hundred times. When I decided to take Sunlight to the costumed dance. When we asked my niece to help find a costume. The first time my niece dressed me up to make sure no one could tell I was a vampire. When we finally told Dan and he declared no, but eventually agreed when I told him I needed to do this.

  What was I doing?

  I was making Sunlight happy. Even as she fussed over the dangers, reminding me it was okay if I changed my mind, I knew she was happy. That alone made the risk to my survival worth it.

  As I watched the humans, something vibrated against my leg. I pulled the cell phone out. A press of a few buttons and I smiled at the message.

  Lil’ bro, if you want to come home, CALL ME!

  Then I frowned and realized I didn’t know how to respond. He showed me how to use it to accept a call or message, but I forgot to ask how to do any of it.

  “Humans are too complicated,” I muttered and pocketed the phone.

  “Hey.” Two human males in tattered and dirty clothing approached. What I assumed was fake blood – since I couldn’t smell any fresh – was painted on their skin like wounds. They nodded at me in approval. “Nice costume,” one of them said.

  Be human, I reminded myself. “Thanks, it's Frankenstein.”

  Both humans snickered. “We figured, the bolts on the neck kinda gave it away.”

  I nodded. “Oh. What are you supposed to be?”

  They laughed again and one held out his arms and moaned, “Braiiins.” He dropped his hands when I stared in confusion. “Come on, dude, zombies? Walking dead? Eat your brains? A menace to people?”

  “I thought only vampires were a threat to humans,” I replied.

  Both scoffed. “Yeah, but who'd want to dress up like a sucker? That's disgusting.”

  I managed a smile. “Disgusting, right.”

  They quickly shuffled away to another group. Nerves churned in me as I watched. Did they suspect I wasn’t human? Barely arrived and already I had blown it. But my costume was thorough; my niece picking it because she knew it would cover as much as me as possible. What wasn’t covered by mask or fabric was covered with thick paint.

  “Tommy, are you okay?” Sunlight walked up, her costume the other reason my niece picked mine. The dress she wore was flowing and white. It clung to her waist, billowing at her arms and legs. A tall black and white wig was perched precariously over her hair, held up only by a few pins.

  I glanced at the two humans, seeing one look back at me and catching his thoughts.

  Man, that guy has a creepy smile.

  I turned back to Sunlight and took her hand. “I thought maybe those humans suspected me, but they just think I’m creepy.”

  Concern filled her painted face. “Maybe we should go.”

  “We just got here,” I reminded her. “We stood outside in line for…”

  “A half hour.”

  “A half hour,” I repeated, then stopped. “I don’t know what I’m saying. Time really doesn’t have a lot of meaning to me. I find it more annoying than anything.”

  She laughed, the bell-like sound silencing the thundering music. She brushed her nose against mine. “Every second with you matters.”

  “I could stand for a little less noise.”

  She innocently shrugged. “You're the one that insisted.”

  I pulled her close, rocking her back and forth. “And you're happy I did. I can smell it.”

  Her laughter was muffled into my shoulder. I grazed my nose and lips against her neck, enjoying her sweet scent. Around us, the humans and music faded. I may not understand the costume dance or how our costumes matched, but when it came to her, I found it really hard to care. All I wanted was for her to be happy.

  “Excuse me.” A warm hand clasped my shoulder.

  My fangs shot out and a growl vibrated in my throat. The only thing that kept me from ripping into the human, eliminating the threat I instantly felt at the touch of an unknown hand, was Sunlight gripping my face. She kept me looking at her, silently soothing me. Unwillingly, my fangs retracted and I reined my instincts in. I caught the human’s gaze and shoved my will against his.

  “Leave.”

  The human's eyes blanked out and he walked away. I turned my gaze back to Sunlight, her eyes wide with shock as two more hands grabbed me. I let myself get pulled into the brightly lit hall and to a bathroom where my niece slammed me against the wall.

  “What were you thinking?” she hissed. “You can't press your will against a teacher. Mr. Williams was just going to tell you that PDA isn't allowed.”

  “What's PDA?”

  “Public display of affection,” my niece snapped.

  I looked at Sunlight, then my niece. “Sorry.”

  My niece rubbed her eyes, smearing the sparkling makeup that was part of her witch costume. She paced back and forth, muttering. “Why didn't I listen to you the first time? You can't be human, even when you try to be human it's not the same. This was stupid, we should call it quits and leave before anyone realizes what you are. I hate it when Dad's right.”

  “But–” I started.

  Sunlight placed a hand on my arm and silenced my protest. “It's okay. We came and I danced to a song, but Mackenzie's right. We should go before you do anything else that's not human.”

  I nodded.

  She took my hand as we headed out of the b
athroom. “I had lots of fun.”

  “That's good,” I replied.

  On the dance floor, the music had softened. A white light shone on the silver orb and reflected shimmering squares across the room. The humans had paired up, arms around each other and turning in tight circles.

  “What are they doing?”

  “Slow dancing,” Sunlight replied with a wistful sigh.

  I changed direction, leading her back to the room and stopping at the edge of the crowd. Her protest quickly fell silent when I placed her arms around my neck. A quick look told me where to put my hands. Then I started moving, turning her like the other humans were. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my niece snap a picture with her cell phone, and then turned her attention to the human male who was pulling her towards the dance floor.

  Sunlight melted against me, tears shimmering in her eyes as she rested her cheek on my shoulder. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” I whispered and grazed my nose down to her neck. A glance around showed every human occupied with another. She gave a small squeak when I popped my fangs through her skin, then relaxed against my bite.

  “I love you,” she whispered.

  I let go, staring at her in wonder. How long had I quietly yearned to hear her whisper those words? My mouth felt strangely dry, despite her blood lingering on my tongue. “I love you too.”

  The silver orb reflected in her eyes, making them sparkle. Her thoughts whispered, telling me it was okay, she was finally ready. I tilted my head and closed the distance. Her eyes drifted shut and her lips puckered. I mimicked her, nerves boiling in me as everything prepared to change.

  I couldn't wait.

  The feeling slammed into me like a battering ram. My eyes snapped open, my instincts screaming to life. The music died, the hum of the equipment the only sound. Every human fell still, staring in shock. Sunlight’s eyes fluttered open, hurt filling them as her thoughts wondered what she did wrong. She glanced around and gasped in shock at what the other humans saw.

  A vampire.

  But it wasn’t me.

  He was one of the vampires Amy gathered, the one that always got on my case about smelling human. His eyes were cold and accusing as he stared at me, his hands clenched into fists and his posture ready to fight.

  I spoke, quietly enough so only he heard. “Are you insane? Do you want to get destroyed?”

  The humans whimpered when he threw a glare around, his gaze lingering on Sunlight. I stepped in front of her and his gaze snapped to me. A twitching lip gave me a glimpse of fangs and I tensed, sensing the challenge behind the action. Long moments passed as I waited for him to make his move. Finally, he spoke one word, making it loud enough for the humans to hear.

  “Traitor.”

  He looked into my eyes and I felt his will pushing, his thoughts forced into my mind. He let me know what he saw every time we crossed paths. A vampire living among humans and pretending to be one. A vampire whispering and smiling at a human, then biting her. A vampire speaking of love. He let me know he saw everything and hated me for it.

  “Don't,” I whispered, but knew it was too late.

  He lunged, but I wasn’t his target. Fangs bared, he headed straight for Sunlight as his snarl ripped through the air. I dropped the ruse, tugging the mask off so I could see better. When he reached me, I bared my fangs and slammed my palms against his chest, throwing him across the room. I turned to Sunlight, pushing her into a nearby chair and shoving it away. Then I turned back and met the vampire’s next attack.

  As he came at me again, the humans screamed in fear, stampeding across the room and veering wildly when they got to close to him or me. Over the commotion, I heard my niece yell for me, but I didn’t have time to worry about her, my focus was on winning this fight.

  We grappled with each other, fangs snapping and trying to tear flesh away. I wrapped my arms around his waist, slinging him into a display of trophies. Glass shattered and wood splintered from the force. But he didn’t stay down long, lunging to his feet with a snarl. Pain bolted through me as he grabbed my arm, twisting it back and sinking his fangs into my skin. I yowled in pain, jerking him around and throwing him across the room.

  My mind flashed to ten years ago and the monster I had turned into a pile of unrecognizable blood and flesh. This time there was no blood, only hard, stiff flesh. Vampire flesh. Flesh that tore as I pounced and ripped it apart. I sank my fangs into the vampire’s neck and tore until his head fell to the floor.

  Everything calmed in an instant and the red faded from my vision. Around me chairs and tables were overturned and pumpkins smashed. A light still flashed, illuminating the glass and trophies littering the floor. Not a single human was in sight.

  “Uncle!” My niece held her dress as she raced to me. Her hand flew to her mouth and her skin turned white at the sight of the destroyed vampire at my feet. She grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the exit. “We have to go! VF will be here any minute.”

  “Where is Sunlight?”

  “Tommy!” Sunlight rushed to my side, a gasp escaping. “Your face…”

  “I’m okay,” I assured her.

  “Come on.” My niece pulled me across the room. “The gym doors should be clear if we hurry.”

  I stumbled as we ran down empty hallways, pain slicing through my leg with each step. Sunlight raced ahead, holding doors open and checking for humans. We made it safely to the gym, shoes squeaking on the shiny floor. My eyes locked on the doors across the wide space and the outside world where I could escape.

  We burst through the door, red and blue lights flashing in our vision. Humans in black uniforms with silver VFs gleaming on their chests rushed forward. My niece was yanked away and Sunlight screamed as another grabbed her.

  “Tommy, run!”

  When the vampires had protested and I watched on TV, I never understood how the vampires could stand there and let Vampire Forces torch them. When the girl stood with her vampire mother, I was more confused. Vampire Forces had pulled the girl away and her mother attacked every human. How could she be so reckless?

  Now I understood.

  I lunged at the human, grabbing his arm and snapping it back to free Sunlight. I turned to the human holding my niece next and sank my teeth into his neck.

  Pain jolted through me like a current and spots danced before my vision. My energy drained away and I crumpled to the ground. I weakly snapped my teeth, determined to keep fighting until my niece and Sunlight were freed. More jolts hit me as Vampire Forces surrounded me. Pain coursed through me, throwing me around like a rag doll and the spots grew bigger until they blacked my vision out. I fell into the blackness, no strength left to fight. The last thing I heard was Sunlight pleading for someone to stop.

  Part Five: Hatred

  The world faded in and out, from light to dark and back again. Noises came and went, whisper soft, then roaring loud. Throughout it all, pain was my constant companion. The tiniest movement caused pain, stillness caused pain. There were jolts of pain, prickles of pain, hot pain and searing pain. It was all there was and it would only get worse.

  I had screwed up in a big way.

  When Vampire Forces had pulled Sunlight and my niece away, I lost it. All thoughts of escaping and survival flew out the window. Humans were touching and hurting the ones I loved. The thought enraged me and I attacked.

  Deep down, I knew there was no way to win. I was outnumbered, but I couldn’t stop myself. Something had trumped my own survival. Surrounded, Vampire Forces shocked me into unconsciousness. When I woke, the room I was in had no windows, beds or chairs; the wall, floor and ceiling nothing but shiny silver. A single light bulb illuminated the room.

  For the longest time I didn’t move, resting and trying to regain energy I was incapable of restoring without blood. I didn’t know if I was above ground or under, my injuries had me boiling hot. I waited in the silver room, knowing I was minutes away from being destroyed. When they came for me, my only thought was
this was it.

  Only it wasn’t.

  Instead of tying me to a stake and destroying me, the Vampire Forces officers took me to a large, white room. Machines and wires lined the walls and snaked along the floor. There, they bound me to a silver table and left. Other humans in long, white coats appeared. With hot hands, they examined me and used long, shiny instruments to pry open my injuries. When they finished, Vampire Forces came again and took me back to the silver room.

  It became a routine, take me to the white room, examine and poke me, then put me back in the silver room. Each time, the pain coursing through me grew worse and my need for blood screamed.

  “Is it alive?” a voice asked.

  “Depends on your idea of alive,” another answered.

  I didn’t try to move, trying to keep the pain to minimum by staying as still as possible. Carefully, I cracked an eye open, straining to see the scientists standing at a safe distance out of the corner of my eye. That one, tiny movement caused pain to pulsed through me. I bit my lip, fangs sliding into holes made from previous bites, to keep from making any sounds.

  The scientists moved closer once they deemed I was secured to the table and incapable of moving. They sorted through their tools and quietly discussed what they hoped to learn today. Maybe why vampires turned to ash in the sun. Or what sort of energy kept a vampire out of a home unless welcomed. So many questions they had and they hoped I was their key to those answers.

  I recalled Dan once telling me how scientists studied vampires. He said the official statement was they took the ashes and studied those, but every human assumed they had live specimens. Fear filled his scent and he was quick to change the subject. He had feared that happening to me.

  I shouldn’t think of my brother, I told myself. It would only make me worry about my family. Were they okay? Did he feel my pain? He probably felt mild discomfort if anything. The lie always comforted me.

  The scientists leaned over me, one holding a long, jagged knife. Fear flooded me and pain rolled through me as I trembled. I scrambled for a way to prolong my suffering if only for a moment. “What are you doing?”