A Soul Mate's Promise

by Soprano, Robin H

  I sit very still, so still I can feel my heart beat with the pain in my head. I take slow, deep breaths with Toby lying right at my side.

  When the sun is just about up, my headache is finally subsiding. I hear Toby’s tail thump on the wooden pier, I open my eyes and find Sal standing there. He doesn’t speak. He sits behind me and holds me in his arms as I lean back into him.

  We don’t need to talk, we just need to be right there with each other.

  * * *

  Like I’m running on autopilot, I get ready for Celine’s big party. To keep the tears from starting, I have to subdue all emotion. My ring glitters in the mirror and I cringe.

  I decide to wear my hair pinned up. I slither into my strapless black velvet gown with the slit to my thigh, matching it with a pair of sparkly black pumps. My diamond necklace and earrings finish the look. Simple yet classic.

  I make my way towards the stairs. Sal is waiting as I come down. He smiles when he sees me. “Gracie, you are so damn beautiful.”

  I smile, but I know it doesn’t reach my eyes. My eyes are still so sore from crying that they ache to close.

  He lifts my chin, forcing me to look at him. “Beautiful… even when you’re sad,” he says as he leans in to kiss me tenderly on the lips.

  My brother Steve shuffles in from outside and clears his throat, interrupting our kiss.

  “The limo’s here, guys. Antonio’s already getting settled,” he says as he watches Sal and me descend the stairs. “Gracie, you look great!”

  I answer him with a tight smile and a nod of my head. It is the best I can do.

  We arrive at Celine’s party a little after eight. Though I hadn’t talked with her all week, I still battle the emotional war raging inside me. Would this be the last New Year’s with Sal in this lifetime?

  Walking into the club with Sal on my arm, I can’t help but notice the decorations. As usual, Celine’s done an amazing job. Black table clothes on top of longer white ones cover the tables. The centerpieces are silver and gold Mylar balloons and each place is set with black, silver, and gold hats, favors and noisemakers to match. The D.J is playing popular current hits, and the dance floor is alive with excitement.

  I spot Celine and manage a proper smile. I wave to her and she bolts toward us.

  “BABYGIRL!” She yells, grabbing me into a hug. “I missed you like crazy. How was the trip?”

  I take a deep breath and hold my left hand up to my face, exposing the ring and I wiggle my finger.

  “AHHH!” She squeals in delight. “Are you shittin’ me? Oh my god–lemme see it!” She tugs my hand closer to her face. “You done good, Sal, You done real good.”

  I can’t help the tears that develop in my eyes and my smile contorts into a pain-filled mask. Sal squeezes his arm around my shoulders. “Gracie, please don’t,” he whispers.

  “I’m trying,” I hiss.

  Celine takes a step back, her eyes darting between Sal and me. “Okay, cut the bullshit, you two. What’s wrong?” She raises an eyebrow at Sal.

  “Looks like you ladies need some girl chat,” Sal notes.

  Celine takes me by my arm. “We sure do, I’ll bring her right back, Sal. Go to the bar and get yourself a drink or two.”

  Celine rushes me out of the club and we head for the ladies room. On the way, she grabs two flutes of champagne off of a waiter’s tray.

  “Here,” she says as she shoves one at me. “Drink.” I take the glass but it reminds me of the champagne on the plane and more tears burn at my eyes.

  “Jesus, Gracie, what the hell is wrong, baby?”

  “He’s leaving,” I say in between deep breaths. “He’s going to leave on a mission.” Clutching my hand over my heart as I continue to sob, I try to explain. “Bad feelings….I have a bad feeling.”

  I do my best to calm down and tell Celine the whole story. Finally, I’m out of steam. “He’s sure he’ll return-that he’ll be safe.”

  “Do you believe him baby?” Celine says, tilting her head.

  “A part of me wants to. But it’s being overshadowed by this overwhelming feeling of dread and sadness. I had it months before I knew any of this, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Why Celine, why would fate do this? Why would God let this happen? What have I done to deserve so much pain?”

  “Oh no you don’t, Gracie,” Celine says with a firm shake of her head. “Oh no, you just didn’t say that to me. You have done nothing wrong. It’s gonna be all right. Maybe Sal’s right and you should believe him. Look at me. You’re gonna be fine,” she says as she grabs my shoulders, giving me a shake.

  She takes a tissue and dabs my eyes. I knew your eyes looked puffy to me. I couldn’t imagine you’d be crying that much about your engagement. Now I get it. This sucks! It just plain out sucks!”

  “I’m sorry Celine, I don’t want to be a party pooper…”

  “Now Gracie cut the crap. We are going to fix your make-up. You’re going to tell everyone you’re engaged. And you are going to dance with your sexy man. Next week we will get to the bottom of this–we’ll call that Dr. Brooks or hell maybe we should call the psychic–you still have her number? She might have a little insight to all this that might make you feel better.”

  I nod, then gulp the rest of my champagne down. “I’m going to need another one of these,” I say, handing her the empty glass. “I like your idea Celine, but let’s keep that to ourselves.”

  Celine nods in agreement and helps fix my make-up. She looks at me in the mirror as she asks, “So when does he leave?”

  “Day after tomorrow,” I whisper as though by not saying it too loud will keep it from happening.

  “Alright then, I’ll be over the day after that.” Then she hugs me.

  I make it back to the party and find my three men stuffing their faces with shrimp at the seafood bar. They are a handsome trio in their suits. Sal’s in his tux again so he can match my black dress. He spots me instantly and holds up a small plate that consists of shrimp and some other appetizers. I take the plate and just stare at the food.

  “You will eat tonight, Princess, if I have to feed you myself.” he warns. “You and Celine have a nice talk?”

  “Yep,” I reply, still looking at the food.

  “Is everything all right?”

  I look up at him, his beautiful soft brown eyes so kind and warm searching mine for an answer. “I hope it will be.”

  Dinner is served and I manage a few nibbles here and there. I tried to listen to the conversations around the table, but the chatter was almost incoherent. The entire time Sal has me in his touch. My arm, my hand, even a squeeze on my leg under the table now and then.

  Celine dances with my brother and flirts with him. It’s all in good fun and my brother played right along with her. I can’t help but to laugh and it’s a welcome relief.

  About a half an hour before midnight, Celine announces for everyone to go outside into the courtyard. There we are each given a sky lantern.

  “Has everyone received their lanterns?” Celine asks using a microphone. “Everyone also should have received an index card. This is what we’re gonna do. Write down on your cards the name of a loved one who’s passed, or send up a message for good luck and hope. Or, maybe you need to make a little wish, or you have to say goodbye…” Celine glances in my direction. She puts her hand to her mouth to catch her emotions.

  “Okay everyone,” she continues and then clears her throat. “Let’s get started! We launch them at midnight!”

  Sal, my brother Steve, Antonio and I each have a sky lantern and an index card. The lanterns are made of some sort of tissue paper-like material with a bamboo frame. A small wax fuel cell is suspended in the middle.

  We each write something on our cards and stick them in the lantern. Steve asks me to join him on a little prayer for our parents, and Sal and Pop write something for Marie.

  When it comes time for me to write my note, my stomach twists in a knot. Through watery eyes I write out my New Year’s
wish.

  Salvatore, my protector, You healed my heart and made me believe in love again. For what I feel, love is not a strong enough word. You have awoken my soul. May you come back to me unharmed. Until then, I will pray on your promise.

  My eternal soul mate.

  Sal hands me his card, speaking softly. “Here,” he says, “I want you to read it.”

  I take the card from him and hand him mine.

  Gracianna, my, Princess. My heart missed you before I knew you existed, I found you broken, and you let me in. In my darkness you gave my life back its light. My love for you is as big as the universe and beyond. I will always protect and cherish you. I am forever by your side, a promise that I won’t break.

  My love, my soul mate.

  Time seems to freeze while we read our cards. Sal smiles and pulls me into his embrace. We kiss and our emotions swirl around us.

  “It’s all going to be fine, Princess,” he whispers in my ear. “It’s all going to be fine.”

  On the stroke of midnight, everyone lights their lanterns and lets them go. Sal and I watch as ours rise up into the night sky. I cling to Sal’s arm as though he might fly away, too.

  People clap and cheer and blow their noisemakers to ring in the New Year. I give New Year’s hugs and kisses to family and friends. We sing along to ”Auld Lang Syne” and when it’s over and the lanterns are far away from sight, Sal takes my hand and escorts me back into the club. That’s when I hear it… our song.

  “A Time to Say Goodbye.” The haunting melody stops me cold, paralyzing me and breaking me in two. Sal holds me tighter as if knowing I will crumble if he doesn’t. He puts a hand under my chin and gives me a reassuring look. “Dance with me, Princess. They’re playing our song.”

  He leads me to the dance floor and holds me tight. We slowly sway to the music and he wipes away a stray tear and kisses me gently as we dance.

  Most of the guests stare and smile at us in celebration of our engagement. Our close friends and family gaze upon us with mixed emotions, knowing our situation.

  Sal has to leave me and I’m petrified I’ll loose him forever…

  * * *

  We get home shortly after one o’clock in the morning. An exhausted Antonio bids us goodnight and my brother heads to his room, as well.

  Sal takes my hand and we stroll down the hall and into our room. He shuts the door and proceeds to get undressed. As he does he never removes his eyes from me.

  I take my jewelry off, then my shoes. Sal tosses his shirt onto the floor and kicks his shoes off to the side. He comes over to me and turns me away from him so he can pull out the pins supporting my hair, letting it fall around my shoulders. Then he unzips my gown. I hold it so it won’t fall, leaving me exposed. Sal steps in front of me.

  “Let me see you,” he pleads.

  I let the gown fall to the floor and all I have on is lacy, little black panties. Sal kneels and slides them down my legs. Tapping at each foot for me to lift. He stands back up and flings them away. His eyes sear into me the whole time.

  “Make love with me, Gracie,” he says, pulling me towards him. His kiss is so deep, so urgent, the sensation makes him hard. Putting my hands on his chest, I try to push away, but he has me tight in his strong grip.

  “Don’t,” he says firmly. “Don’t push me away. I need you. We need this. I want to make love to you all night and into the morning.”

  “I’m afraid,” I whisper to him. “What if it’s the last time?” And then I realize that if it is the last time, do I want to miss it? Do I want to regret my last hours with him?

  Without a word, he picks me up, and I wrap my legs around him. He places me on the bed and turns out the light. I hear the swoosh of his pants and he is on me.

  “I’m here, always,” he whispers as he kisses my throat and between my breasts. “I will always be right here.” And he kisses over my heart.

  Licking his way down my belly he settles on my sweet spot, gently dipping his tongue at my core. I run my fingers through his wavy hair as he works me. My blood runs hot and my heart is pounding.

  I’m close, so close, when he stops and kneels on the bed between my legs. He gathers me up in an embrace and my legs encompass him as he gently sets me in place. I bury him deep inside me as he sits back, gripping my hips. We move, pumping with the beat of our hearts. My body quivers at the feeling of Sal’s hard body beneath me and inside me–my hands are splayed on his chest and I can feel his heart thumping as fast as mine. Rocking back and forth, the passion is rising.

  “Look at me,” Sal orders. “Tell me when. Don’t look away from me.”

  All my muscles contracted as my orgasm began. “NOW!” I cry out in pleasure. Our gaze locked and together we soared into ecstasy on moans of satisfaction.

  Sal guides my hips until he is drained, and I collapse on his chest, the hair tickling my nose.

  Wrapping his arms around my back and holding me securely in place, he whispers, “Don’t move.” His voice is raw, “I want to be inside of you forever. I want to remember how you feel inside and out while I’m away from you.”

  I stay perfectly still, as he caresses my back and legs. He strokes my hair and traces my face with his fingertips. I listen as his heart rate slows and his breathing evens out.

  Not a word is spoken, we just cling to each other, softly touching then kissing, he rolls me on my back. Passion rising to high oblivion, we love again and again till we are debilitated and sleep consumes us.

  * * *

  We sleep late into the morning of the New Year. The sun is creeping in the windows casting a golden-yellow glow around the room.

  Steve knocks on the door. “Hey, you guys up and or decent? I need to talk to you.”

  “Just a minute, Steve.” Sal calls out. He gets up and quickly throws on a pair of sweats. He grabs my fuzzy robe and swings it over to me. When I’m covered, Sal opens the door.

  “Hey guys, listen. I checked some flights and was able to get one that leaves in about three hours. I’m headed out today instead of tomorrow. I think you both should have a quiet day alone. I’ve got a cab on the way.”

  He reaches over to Sal and shakes his hand. “Stay well, bro, and come home to my sister! And good luck!”

  They lean in for a manly hug and a slap on the back. “Thanks, Steve,” Sal says. “I’m glad I got to meet you. I’ll come home, don’t you worry. I love your sister too much to stay away.”

  I stand there with a small smile, arms folded at my chest because I’m beginning to feel empty again. My bother looks at me with his worldly eyes.

  “You gonna hug me or what?” he jokes.

  I close the space between us and give him a big hug around the middle like I used to when we were kids. My big brother, sometimes took the place of our dad for me.

  “You don’t have to leave you know. I barely see you as it is,” I murmur into his chest.

  “Yes, I do,” he says, patting me on the back. “It’s almost noon and I could tell you guys were not rushing to get up anytime soon. You both need this day together and you don’t need me hanging around. It’ll be all right, Gracie, be strong. You’ve got my cell, so call me anytime–and keep me posted about wedding plans. I’m there for ya, just say the word.”

  We walk him to the door just as the cab pulls up. Steve tosses his bags in the trunk. Before he gets in he puts his hand on top of my head and tousles my hair, which is already messed.

  He and Sal give each other nods and one more handshake.

  “Okay, talk to ya both soon,” he says as he gets in the cab.

  I wait till it’s out of sight. And then he was gone.

  CHAPTER 24

  We stay in each other’s arms till the sun fades out and shadows of the evening move across the bedroom.

  “Pop didn’t call today. Should we have checked in on him?” I ask.

  Sal snorts a laugh. “No, I’m pretty sure your brother and Pop planned this together last night so we’d have this day alone. I have a
little time in the morning to go see him.”

  “I don’t think I can take this,” I whisper. “I feel sick–like I’m gonna die without you.”

  Sal holds me tighter, squeezing his arms around me. “I know the feeling. And I’m so sorry. Will you promise me something? Please, please, take care of yourself. I’m not even gone yet and you’re not eating normally–and I know you won’t sleep. The thought of you out on the balcony in the middle of the night crying or worrying is killing me. I need you to be strong, Princess. We’ve got plans when I get back, right? Trust me, I’m coming back.”

  “I’ll try,” I say, knowing courage isn’t exactly my strongest quality. “But I can’t help what I’m feeling–something terrible is going to happen.”

  “Shhh… I love you, Gracie.” He cradles and caresses me, touching my whole body as if to memorize me inch by inch.

  * * *

  A cold rainy gray morning dawns, and as soon as my eyes are open, my stomach clenches and a lump forms in my throat. Sal is leaving this morning.

  The all too familiar anxiety attack builds and I sit up as though urged by a cattle prod. As I’m gasping for breath, Sal wakes and grabs my arms.

  “Gracie, what’s wrong? What is it? Did you dream?”

  “No…” I choke. “Panic… can’t.. breathe…”

  “Shhh…okay, okay,” Sal says in a soothing voice. “Look at me,” he begs, taking my face in his hands. “Look at me, Gracie. Breathe.” We inhale and exhale together, eyes connected.

  “Again, breathe… Good….” He kisses my forehead. “Better?”

  I shake my head and will the tears back. This is hard enough on him and at this rate I won’t even be able to see him off. I clear my throat and force a smile. “I’m going to be okay. It’s just this fear is suffocating sometimes. I don’t want you to leave, God knows I don’t, but I know why you have to go. I’ll have to learn to deal with this.”