Languish for you (My soulmate)

by Daniel, Serafina

  “Strange cat,” Agnes said when we decided to take a drink. The little kitty jumped and took a sit on my lap like it was natural thing for her to do.

  “Yes,” I said in a voice full of admiration. “I think I should call her Snow because of her white fur,” the cat purred in agreement. “Look, she likes this name.”

  “Yea... You know, I have never seen a cat acting like this,” Agnes confessed.

  “Me too.”

  “She doesn't even run away from you,” she was sincerely amazed by that fact. I was too.

  “I think I will be friends with Snow,” I sad, touching her soft fur.

  “If you don't call me, I will know what have happened to you,” she joked. I laughed too. And talking about calls, my phone soon started ringing. I pulled it out from my purse and showed the screen to Agnes.

  She gave me a wink.

  “Someone can't live without you,” she sang as she stood up. “I will go the bathroom,” and she was gone, giving me some privacy to answer this phone call.

  I didn't even know how much I longed to hear his voice until the phone rang.

  “Hi,” I said as I bit my lower lip.

  “Hi, beautiful. Where are you?”

  “With Agnes in a super mall,” I answered, looking around the coffee-house. “She introduces me with some awesome places.”

  “Really? So why wasn't I invited?”

  “Because it's a girl time.”

  “I miss you,” he said suddenly. It was really strange to hear these words. After all, we saw each other three hours ago. But it also made me warmer inside; he wanted always to be with me.

  “Me too,” I closed my eyes, imagining him standing in front of me. “I would love to see you here, with my new friend.”

  “New friend?”

  “Yea, I bought a little kitty. Her name is Snow. You will love her.”

  “But not as much as I love you.”

  He really knew how to force my heart to pound faster in my chest. If he was going to do that so often, my lifetime will be shortened.

  “I love you too,” it was so strange to say those words, but I knew that I really loved him. Maybe that entire sex thing wasn't so bad thing for me to try. After all, I knew that this guy was the one for me. I didn't need to question that.

  “My joy of life, I would love to be with you now.”

  “Me too, but this day belongs to Agnes.”

  “She is a good friend,” he said.

  “The best,” I admitted.

  “So, maybe tomorrow. Would you like to spend the evening with me?”

  “With you?” I said flirtatiously. I didn't know I could be like that.

  “With me. At my flat. Alone. Movies maybe.”

  I really liked that idea to be alone with him in his flat, where weren't any unnecessary people, such as, Christopher, Anna or Avery.

  “So, you are offering me a Friday night with a ...”

  “Your boyfriend,” he ended my sentence. “So, you are in? Or maybe you would like me to come to your home?”

  I shook my head instantly, but he couldn't see that. It wasn't a video call.

  “Your home,” I said, biting my lip harder to keep myself calm.

  Snow lifted her little head up in curiosity.

  “So, until tomorrow, my love.”

  “Yea. Buy,” the call was ended. And maybe just in time, because Agnes returned from the bathroom pause. But before she could take her place next to me, my eyes were caught by a woman's stare. She was standing in the other side of the room, wearing a red dress. Her short hair were falling in spirals. From her face, I guessed that she was maybe thirty years old. But I could be mistaken.

  When our stares met, she stood up and walked out, giving me chills. She didn't glance at me; just walked forward, taking her phone into her hands to call to someone.

  “Is everything okay?” Agnes asked worried.

  I looked at her and smiled.

  “Yea. Everything is fine, although I doubted if it was fine. That woman.... For some reason, I didn't like how she stared at me, how her eyes provoked my body to be alarmed. Was she just a simple woman or...a hunter, about which I was warned? “I think we should go,” I said as I put the cat on the ground. Snow wasn't very pleased by that, but I didn't care. She had her opinion and I had mine.

  “Okay,” Agnes said hesitating. “But why? What did Tobias say to you?”

  She thought that it was his words, but she was under a delusion. It wasn't him, who turned on a self-defense regime in my body. It was that woman's eyes, but I didn't want to tell her that.

  “I just want to bring Snow home,” I lied. I broke my own rule, but at that moment I didn't care. I just wanted to be at home, where nothing bad could happen to me.

  Chapter sixteen

  “A cat?” Christopher said as he saw Snow wondering around her new home.

  “Well, yea,” I nodded, crossing my arms against my chest, coping his stance. “How I see, you can recognize animals.”

  “Cha cha,” he said sarcastically. “What is the cat doing here?”

  I glance at Snow. She was licking her front right leg.

  “She is taking a shower,” I said, controlling myself. This was absurdity. When I came back come, I found Christopher next to his laptop. On the screen I could see a map and a red spot in it which had to be me. He was making sure that I was doing what he had ordered me. I knew it was his job and all, but still, that made me feel...well, I wasn't used to this kind of things. I had never thought that one day there would be a person, who would become my shadow.

  Christopher instantly noticed Snow behind me. He narrowed his eyes and lifted his head that I could see a question in it.

  “You hate cats?” I asked and Snow stopped doing what she was doing. Her dark little eyes turned to Christopher.

  “No. I am afraid of idea of opening the zoo in this flat.”

  “What?” I frowned.

  “If you save every animal, which could be killed, there won't be a free spot left.”

  “You were... You bastard...” I didn't know what to say. He wasn't only looking at that map, he was also ...

  “Cameras? Yes,” he confirmed. “I saw what happened, Vanessa.”

  “Trinity,” I said in a small voice as I turned my face away from his eyes.

  “Vanessa,” he used that name on purpose to provoke me, but I decided to pretend that I didn't hear that,” can you tell me why you brought that cat here?”

  “Really, you can't tolerate one small kitty?” I lifted my eyebrows up.

  “I asked a question, Vanessa,” he said in a grim voice. That should have scared me, but it didn't.

  “And I decided not to answer to it, my dear protector. And if you let me, I will go to my royal bedroom and write some chapters about a terrible guardian, who didn't let for a girl bring a small kitty into the castle,” I lifted my chin up and lifted my foot up to take a huge step...back.

  Christopher pulled me back, closer to him. I could feel his body's warm, which forced my heart pound faster.

  “You won't leave until you give me answers, Vanessa.”

  “And your question was?” I looked at him. Dammit, we were too close to each other. I could easily touch his lips with mine if I wanted to. Did I? I bit my lower lip. His eyes lingered on my lips for some second before they lifter up.

  “You are impossible.”

  “And you are sweet,” I lifted my hand up to touch his cheek playfully, but he caught it before I could even do, what I had planned. I caught my breath, seeing only his sky blue eyes.

  For some minutes we just stood like this, staring at each other. I didn't know how his heart was doing, but mine was working harder than usually. The thought about kissing him was echoing in my mind until it became one of my desires, which I couldn't truly understand. He wasn't my soulmate. Tobias was. So, why did I suddenly want to kiss my protector?

  I tried to pull away from him, feeling guilty for wanting what I shouldn't, but Chris
topher didn't let me go. He hold me firmly against his chest, letting me feel how his heart tried to escape from his chest.

  And then, his warm and soft lips touched me, creating a fantastic sensation in my body, almost similar to Tobias'. I leaned forward, deepening our kiss. Soon I felt his tongue, trying to open my lips and feel me even better. I grinned in my mind and gave him entrance into my mouth.

  When our tongues met, I groaned. It felt so good that I didn't want ever to end this crazy kiss. I wanted to feel him more against my body, taste him, feel my hot body and so on. The same desire I felt from him too. His arms hold me only tighter, like he was afraid that I soon will decided to walked back and end this kiss.

  You wish, I said in my mind, letting my hands to touch his neck, his hair.

  Snow mewed and that was all we both needed to remember, who we were and what kind of destinies were waiting for us. I sprang back, away from him. We both were out of breath, hot and wanting more that a simple kiss. At least I wanted that. I couldn't be one hundred percent sure if he was in the same boat as I was. But still, that shouldn't have happened. So, why it felt so good, so familiar, like being at home after a long travel.

  Something wasn't right with me. I knew that. How could I wish another kiss from my protector if I had a soulmate?

  “Vanessa,” he said my name carefully.

  I looked at him astonished. I didn't need to be a physic to know what he was going to tell me, because I had written these kinds of scenes many times in my stories. But at least in them there wasn't a soulmates' thing. In them there was only a forbidden love.

  “So, you wanted to know something. Could you repeat your question?” it wasn't time to talk about what had just happened between us. This kiss was amazing and I didn't want to hear how sorry and how wrong it was for us to kiss each other.

  “Vanessa,” he repeated my name. He didn't understand what I was trying to do.

  “I brought that cat here, because she did the right thing; animals aren't humans' toys. I didn't want that anyone could hurt this kitty. Plus, she chose me, not other way around,” I said in one breath.

  “Vanessa.”

  I saw what I didn't want to be a witness of; his eyes were full of guilt.

  “Trinity,” I said. “Everything is okay. Snow will stay here. If you don't like that, you are free to find another flat. After all, you and Avery told me that this flat belongs to me. So, I do what I want,” and I turned on my heels. He didn't stop me when I walked out from the room. He just stood there, staring at me.

  He felt guilty, while I felt desire to repeat what we did just some minutes ago. And the only thing which made me blameworthy, was exactly that.

  Snow followed me. She jumped on my bed and looked at me from there while I took a seat in front of my laptop, trying to created some kind of plan what I should do next and how I should act being in front of Christopher.

  <<>>

  He knew he shouldn't have done that, but he wanted so much to kiss her, to find out how it was to feel her lips against his. Christopher knew it was wrong for him to want that. His soulmate wasn't Trinity and she will never be. She had her another half while he was doomed to be alone forever, trying to find out why his Vanessa was taken from him.

  He took a pillow from the soda and threw it straight to the wall. He was mad, because she knew how to make him crazy, how force him to want what couldn't never happen. How could she do that? And what was the most important question, how she managed to act like his Vanessa? Her movements, words... sometimes he had to convince himself that she wasn't his Vanessa. And still, he couldn't eliminate that feeling to long for her.

  And now that cat! His Vanessa would have done the same thing. She loved cats and had many of them in their house. Another strange coincidence.

  Avery walked into the room, spreading calmness around her. He was lucky that she didn't decide to come five minutes earlier, because she would have seen what she really didn't want to.

  “What have she done now?” that was her first question.

  “Cat,” he said simply. “She brought a cat to this house.”

  She rolled her eyes.

  “And that is the reason why you seem so...on fire?” she laughed. “If I had known, I would have brought a million of them to see you so read and nervous.”

  She was a tough cookie. He was stupid if he really thought he could hide anything from her. But this time he decided to risk. Avery shouldn't know what he had done. It was his and Trinity's business.

  “Cha,” he put his hands into his pant pockets and turned to the window. Some ugly clouds were slowly swimming in the sky.

  “What else happened?” she asked.

  “Nothing special,” he answered.

  “You hate cats?” she suddenly asked intrigued.

  “It's not your business,” he said in low voice and quickly walked out from the room, leaving Avery suspicious. But he didn't care. Avery could imagine whatever she liked.

  <<>>

  Christopher didn't come that day to my room. Also, I didn't see him in the morning. Avery told me he had to leave earlier because he had some kind of a meeting. I pretended that I didn't care, although I felt a little hurt not seeing him, hearing his voice.

  “I will stay at Tobias' tonight,” I informed Avery.

  She grinned. It wasn't a secret what kind of thoughts she had in her little head. But I promised myself that I wouldn't let that happened, even if I really wanted that.

  “Sure,” Avery nodded. After some minutes, she left me. And after some more minutes, Tobias appeared in front of my home door, waiting for me to go with him to university and then to his flat. It was really strange for Christopher and Avery to let me leave this flat so easily when that thing wasn't done yet. But I didn't intend to find out the main reason, why they acted like that. I wanted to have some kind of freedom from them.

  “You seem tired,” Tobias said, planting a soft kiss on my lips.

  Yea, I was tired, because I pondered all night about my kiss with Christopher. Also, I tried to avoid that scary dream, which had some kind of secret message in it, but I couldn't make it out. So, I had slept only two hours before my alarm clock started singing.

  “Not tired, just missing one special person next to me,” I took his hands into mine and squeezed it a bit.

  He smiled and kissed me one more time, before we left my home. I tried to push images of Christopher away and the feeling of his lips against mine from my mind. Lucky for me, it was quite easy to do when I was with my soulmate. His touch, his voice, his smile...did magical things to me.

  And soon our lectures ended, giving us all evening and night to be together in his flat. Dammit how I wished to be there. I even laughed at myself in my mind. Before that all dead business, I was frightened by the idea to be alone with a guy, but now, I was excited. Zero fear. Only curiosity.

  Tobias warned me not to imagine a luxurious flat. So, I didn't. I had an idea, how his little flat could look like. After all he was only a student, living from his parents' pocket. He wasn't me, who get a huge sum of money because I was killed and brought back to life.

  But still, I got more than I hoped. That one room was quite huge for one person. In it was double bed, a TV, a laptop, a wardrobe, a small table, and some paintings on the wall.

  “It's not much, but it will me my home while I be studying here,” he hugged me.

  “It's lovely,” I said sincerely.

  He smiled and released me.

  “What would you like to do?” he asked me. I shrugged. It didn't matter what we will do while we were together. “Tea or coffee?” he asked me.

  “Tea.”

  He kissed me.

  “Look around. I will make us some tea.”

  I nodded and entered into the room while he walked to the kitchen. The first thing which caught my eyes was the table on which some books and photographs were lying. I took some of them as I sat down on the bed. What I saw in them, really shocked me.

  That c
an't be possible, I staid in my mind, feeling how my blood runs from my cheeks, making my face to look paler.

  After some minutes Tobias came into the room, bringing tea. But I didn't care about the drinks. I wanted to know, how he got those photographs.

  “Oh, I see you found something interesting” he said, taking a seat next to me. “That's my cousin. I told you that you look like her a lot.”

  Look like her? I asked in my mind. I am her!

  The girl in those photographs was me. In one I was with my parents and brother, in second with my friends, in third just smiling, holding a flower. All of those photographs seemed to be touched a lot.

  “Her name was?” I asked, knowing the answer to my question already.

  “Trinity. Strange name, right?”

  Please, just kill me, I begged in my mind. This really couldn't be happening. I was his cousin and his soulmate. We were kin. And how that managed to happen.

  “How did she die?”

  “The accident. Four months before I was born.”

  I was stagnated on the bed, not knowing what to think, what to do. He was my cousin. And why was I finding the truth only now? Didn't Christopher or Avery know about him and me?

  And then the answer hit me; I shouldn't have remembered anything. But was it the only reason why my soul was connected with his, why we were created for each other?

  “How her parents...endure all that?”

  “I don't know. My mother doesn't like to talk about those days. She found out what had happened to her only some months before I was born. No one wanted to tell her sad news when she had to be happy.”

  “You said she liked writing.”

  “Yea,” he nodded. “I have all of her stories in my computer. Some of them are in Lithuanian, so I needed to learn it.”

  “And do you?”

  “Yes, I can speak in Lithuanian and also in English. She knew three languages and wrote in all of them,” he snaked on of his hand around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

  Now, instead of feeling thrilled by his touch, I felt disgust. We couldn't be together, because we were kin. Our children would be degenerated. And one way or another, the truth that we were siblings will be known. What then?