Anat smiles gratefully.
A wailing young girl enters the preschool and interrupts their conversation. Anat snaps immediately into action and approaches the apprehensive mother and the new girl, who is now completely hysterical, even though she’s just arrived.
She says goodbye to Ilai and leaves before she has to watch the heartrending scene. When she gets to work, she goes directly to the conference room. She missed yesterday’s staff meeting. It’s becoming increasingly difficult for her to tear herself away from Koby and to return to her regular life.
It’s early in the early afternoon and the tedious discussion is yet to end, but she has to leave. Koby is waiting. They arranged to have lunch at The New Italian. She pushes her chair back and apologizes. She’ll be back in an hour and a half, tops.
That afternoon, he comes around for coffee. He doesn’t have much time. He’s giving some woman a private lesson. She makes him Turkish coffee just as he likes, and can’t resist asking who she is, this new biker.
He chuckles and asks if she’s jealous.
She asks if she has reason to be and he immediately assures her that no. She’s fat, a real couch potato of fifty, and it’s only a trial lesson. She has nothing to worry about. She smiles and furtively strokes his hand, which is resting on his coffee cup. It’s her turn tomorrow.
“Do you have time to play with me on the PlayStation?” Ofer asks hopefully, but Koby is forced to disappoint him.
“I promise you we’ll play next time, okay?” he ruffles Ofer’s hair. Ofer asks if it’ll be tomorrow, and Koby answers that he hopes so. He finishes his coffee and says he has to go.
“So what did you come for then?” Ofer asks angrily, “You were hardly here at all…”
“I missed you,” he says and turns to look at her, “so I came to see how my favorite people are.”
She bites her lips, stopping herself from kissing him right there and then, , she is so crazy about him she can barely control herself anymore. Tomorrow morning, she reassures herself, tomorrow you can do as you please.
***
“Where are you?” Amnon asks.
She holds the phone to her ear, “On the way…” she answers without hesitating, “Has something happened?”
“No, no, everything’s fine,” he replies, “but I thought you’d be at work now…your lesson ended over an hour ago, didn’t it?”
“I’ll be right there,” she says and wishes him a lovely day. Then she ends the call, sits up in the rear seat of Koby’s car. Her back is sticky and sweaty from lying there for so long, and the bumpy texture of the seat is imprinted on her back. She throws the phone in her purse. Thank goodness she brought it with when they moved from her car to his.
He kisses her breasts, her stomach, focused fully on her, then lifts his head and asks, “Do you have to go?”
“Soon,” she says sweetly, arches her back and stretches. He dives down, penetrates her with his tongue and in almost no time, brings her to another climax.
That evening, Amnon arrives home earlier than usual.
“What a surprise,” she says with a smile as she thinks to herself, Lucky he didn’t run into Koby before. No doubt it would have made him mad.
“Daddy!” Ilai grabs his leg.
Amnon throws him in the air and Ilai bursts into rolling laughter. “Where’s Ofer?” he asks.
“At Yoni,” she replies without looking up. She’s chopping vegetables for a salad, in preparation for dinner. He goes over to the television and turns on one of the kiddy channels.
“Ilai-chick,” he says and sits his son on the sofa, “one of your favorite shows is on, with that engine…”
Ilai nods and is instantaneously absorbed in the show.
He returns to the kitchen. “Hagar,” he says seriously, “come here, sit with me for a minute.”
“What’s up?” she asks somberly, but doesn’t stop chopping the cucumbers.
Nervous, he clears his throat. “Where were you this morning, when we spoke?”
She looks up at him in surprise, “I already told you, on my way home.” Images of Koby penetrating her flit through her mind. She blinks and tries to concentrate.
He tries again, “I know that you weren’t driving when you answered your phone…your car was standing still. Why did you tell me you were on the way?”
“What?” she’s confused, “What are you talking about, Amnon?”
“You were in a parking lot in the Ben Shemen Forest,” he says quietly, “you weren’t on your way to work. It was nine o’clock. What’s up, Hagar?”
The room starts spinning. She drops the knife and sits down on the barstool beside her. “Are you following me now?” she asks, her voice trembling, “Have you lost your marbles?!”
“Hagar, I haven’t been getting clear answers from you,” he answers, trying to keep his cool. “You didn’t leave me much choice.”
“How the heck…” she can’t understand, and he explains: “I installed an app that locates your phone. In any case it’s a good thing to have, if your phone gets stolen, you know…”
“Oh, so now you’re suddenly concerned about my phone being stolen?” she yells, “And did you really think I’d buy that excuse?! You’re following me, Amnon! You’re a stalker!”
“I’m not a stalker, I’m your husband!” He’s beginning to get angry, “And I want answers!”
“What about a little privacy?” she says, exasperated, her cheeks now flushed bright red. “What about a little trust?” Where have we deteriorated to?”
“You tell me where we are! Tell me what I should think, when I ask you where you are and you don’t tell me the truth!”
Her eyes are blazing. Her pulse is racing. He’s terrorizing her but she won’t give in. “All in all, we had coffee after training, if you have to know!” she lies brazenly. She has no control over the words coming out of her mouth. “I told you I’m on my way because I didn’t want you to worry…” she snaps at him, “I left exactly two minutes later…we had a short delay this morning, Koby had a puncture and the lesson started a little late…”
Amnon listens quietly, his fingers nervously drumming the table.
“And anyway,” she continues, upset, “why do I have to answer to you?! Why do I have to justify and explain myself? If we don’t share even a basic sense of trust, then we have a huge problem on our hands!”
Amnon rubs his face in frustration.
She gets up and continues chopping vegetables for the salad, trying to control her pounding heart and temples. Jerk, she thinks to herself and chops the tomato into big chunks, installing an app!
He stands up, frustrated by the direction the conversation has taken, “I’m going to pick up Ofer from Yoni,” he informs her.
She doesn’t respond.
“What’s the precise address?” he asks, checking his memory.
“I don’t know,” she throws angrily into the air and sets the table. “Check your surveillance program. I was there yesterday after soccer practice.”
He sighs and leaves the house, slamming the door.
He returns about half an hour later, holding a bouquet of flowers. Ofer walks in first. “Mom,” he announces, “Yoni got a parrot!”
“How wonderful,” she smiles at her enthused son, “what’s his name?”
“Yossi,” he tells her, “the name’s a bit yukky, but that’s what his father wanted. Can I have a parrot?”
“No, sweetie,” she answers the anticipated request patiently, “but I’m sure that Yoni will let you use his…”
Ofer’s not sure whether to laugh at the strange way she words it or to be disappointed, so he just repeats the unexpected word: “Use his!” and laughs anyway.
Amnon hands her the bouquet. Roses, with lisianthus. Her favorite. He certainly knows her. She’s never received flowers from Ko
by. On the other hand, she doesn’t really need him to bring her flowers, that’s what she has Amnon for. She takes the flowers, avoiding his eyes, and says nothing.
“Sorry, Gari,” he says faintly and moves closer to her. “You know how much I love you, don’t you?”
She nods.
“I didn’t want to invade your privacy…I’m just worried, that’s all.”
“You have no reason to be, Amnon,” she says a little coldly and climbs onto a chair to retrieve a cut glass vase from the top cabinet.
“I’m not going to let you go, Gari,” he says simply, “I have no intention of giving up on us.”
She softens. “You don’t have to, Amnon, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. But you have to stop being jealous. Jealousy is an unnecessary emotion. If people weren’t so jealous, the world would be different.”
All at once, she realizes that she’s reciting sentences that aren’t her own. He has had so much impact on her. She loves him so much, admires him.
Amnon raises an eyebrow, “If you tell me I have nothing to be jealous of, then maybe I’ll stop…”
She smiles and arranges the flowers in the vase. “You have nothing to be jealous of, Amnon. Drop it.”
“I don’t want him coming here anymore, okay Gari? Please,” he says after a short pause, “it really bothers me.”
She turns to him, her eyes wild, “It bothers you because you’re insecure,” she shoots at him, “it has nothing to do with Koby.”
“That may be,” he concedes, “but that’s the situation, it’s my home, and they’re my children.”
She doesn’t answer. How can she commit to such a thing? And what does he think to himself, imposing such sanctions on her? All at once she feels herself hardening again. I wonder what Koby will have to say about this, she wonders, already waiting for the children to fall asleep, for Amnon to be in the shower, so she can tell him what Amnon put her through this strange evening.
***
The next day, when she gets home from work, she’s alarmed to find the entrance door wide open. There’s a man standing on a narrow, tall ladder and he’s installing something on the entrance ceiling.
“What’s going on here?” she asks angrily and pulls Ilai to her, who’s leaping around curiously.
Menachem appears in the doorway. “Oh, you’re here,” he says with a smile, stroking Ilai’s head, “everything’s just fine, don’t you worry.”
“Menachem, what the hell is going on here?” she asks sternly. “And where is Ofer?”
“Ofer is at our place,” Menachem says, patting her shoulder to calm her, “Amnon is having security cameras installed in the entrance. He arranged it all, I’m here just to supervise.”
“Why the hell security cameras?” she says reproachingly, “and why did no one consult me?!”
Menachem raises his hands in front of him in defense, “I don’t know, Hagar, I’m just making sure they’re doing the job right.”
“Amnon has gone completely crazy!” she declares.
“There have been a lot of break-ins recently,” Menachem tries to explain the rationale behind the idea, “Amnon asked me what I thought, and I agreed it was a good idea.”
“Yes, but he forgot to discuss it with the person who lives here!” she mutters venomously.
She releases Ilai, who runs off to his room. She goes inside and immediately calls Amnon. “Did you think to tell me what you’re planning to do in our home?!” she shoots at him the second he answers.
“Hi, Gari, I understand you’ve run into Moshe Cohen and my father.”
“I have no idea who Moshe Cohen is. What’s going on here, Amnon? Why are you installing cameras without discussing it first with me?!”
“Gari, relax,” Amnon tries to placate her, “there was nothing to discuss. I made a decision. It’s for the safety of the children, and yours.”
“Oh, crap!” she bellows into the phone, “Since when are you such a coward?”
“There have been a lot of burglaries in our area,” he interrupts.
“We have an alarm system and bars on the windows, why do we need cameras too?!” she screeches.
“I want to know who is sniffing around our home,” he replies coolly, “I want to know who visits. It’s only for the best, Gari, don’t worry. You won’t even notice it.”
Everything falls into place, and she’s overwhelmed with dizzy. She hangs up and sits down on a bar stool in the kitchen. Her heart is pounding. No burglaries, no nothing. He’s watching her. He’ll never admit it out loud, but suddenly it all becomes clear.
At seven that evening, Amnon arrives home to check Moshe Cohen’s work and to pay him. There is a changing of the guards and Menachem leaves. Ilai and Ofer sit around the table and eat dinner—white rice patties that Grandma Esther sent over with Ofer when he came home not long ago. When she sees Amnon, she puts down her phone. “You came home early,” she comments blankly.
“I missed my beloved family,” he says and kisses her forehead and then the tops of the boys’ heads. He places a white carrier bag on the table. “I brought you a crumb cheesecake, just the kind you like.”
“I’m not hungry, thank you,” she answers coldly.
“Who needs an appetite for cake,” he winks, refusing to go along with the cold reception. “Am I right?” he turns to the kids who nod vigorously.
“Can I have two blocks of chocolate instead?” Ilai offers a deal, “I don’t like cheesecake.”
Amnon laughs and says we’ll see. Now he has to go check out the new cameras.
“Can I come too?” Ilai asks, his eyes shining.
“Only if you’ve finished eating,” Amnon warns Ilai, who quickly gobbles up the patty and joins him.
She watches them while she moves the dishes to the sink and cleans the table. Ilai and Ofer are making faces at the new cameras and Amnon and Moshe are talking in the entrance. A powerful surge of longing for Koby hits her in waves.
At night he writes to her, “We meeting tomorrow?” and she writes yes, as usual.
He asks if she wants him to come over tomorrow afternoon too. Shaked will be with him and she’d love to hang out with Ofer.
She answers no. That she’s sorry, she’ll explain everything tomorrow. She wonders if they can meet at his place. The kids will certainly be happy. It may be better to keep a low profile for now, at least until Amnon calms down.
***
But Amnon doesn’t calm down. Highly motivated, he shows up at home at six in the evening.
“Daddy!” Ilai cheers with excitement.
“What are you doing here so early?” she asks. She’s sitting in front of a pile of laundry and folding it into small, well-stacked piles. Ilai’s sets for preschool, Ofer’s school shirts. Amnon’s underwear and undershirts. Her sports gear that just came out of the dryer.
“I felt like it,” he says, “do I have to have a good reason to come home?”
“We’re your good reason, Daddy!” Ilai says and just to be sure, adds, “Right?”
Amnon says right and throws him up in the air. Ilai’s overjoyed.
“Good, then you can pick Ofer up from Yoni in an hour,” she says without looking up.
“Sure thing,” he says and sits beside her on the sofa. “How was your day, beautiful?” he asks.
She recoils. She feels like telling him about the wild sex she had that morning with Koby; about the heights she reaches thanks to him, the passion that she’s never before experienced, the kind that Amnon cannot even imagine. She feels like telling him that Koby knows her body better than he ever will. That he makes her come time after time, that he knows exactly where to touch, where to press, and that he’s nothing in comparison, even though she loves him, even though she doesn’t want to break up their family. She feels like he should know. Let him know that he’s not omnipot
ent. He’s a wonderful father and a good, supportive husband, he has a respectable position and they don’t lack money, but despite these inflated titles, he’s only human, and he, too, has his limitations. He’s far from perfect, and as it turns out, so is she. But she doesn’t say anything, she just carries on folding laundry, trying to hold back the tears.
“Gari?” he tells her tenderly, “I love you.”
“I know,” she whispers, allowing two unruly drops to roll down her cheeks, “I love you too, Ami.”
She stops folding the laundry and allows him to hug her. For a moment, she lays her head on his shoulder and wonders if she can allow herself to rest, to just let go.
***
“Ela is coming to Israel!” her mother announces solemnly at Friday dinner. She sits up. Finally, something is stirring in her. Her older sister is coming home for a visit.
“With the entire family?” she asks.
“Of course,” Esther replies, “they’re coming at Christmas, with the children.”
Hagar nods and her heart expands. She misses Ela, even if she’s learned to live without her. Her relationship with her two younger brothers is pretty shallow. They meet now and then for Friday dinner at their parents and that’s it. One lives in Petah Tikva, the other in Tel Aviv. The only sibling that’s significant in her life is Ela, and she left the country years ago and started a family elsewhere, far away, where there are no terror attacks, or drought, or heat waves. Everything is always green and deer roam the lawns.
“It’ll be great,” Amnon adds, “you can catch up, and the kids will have fun…they should stay with us. We have room.”
She nods and knows what he’s up to. Great! The babysitter from the United States is arriving! Or maybe not a babysitter, more like a bodyguard. She’ll keep her busy, so she won’t be able to leave the house, and she’ll have to cancel her lessons. She’ll barely be able to talk to Koby, not to speak of seeing him. Her fists clench in fury. Damn cheek.
***
She pecks at her salad with her fork. It has too much lettuce, too little interest.
“Don’t you have an appetite today?” he asks and leans toward her, “Or are you still full from this morning…?”
Riding Lies Page 11