Fractured Soul

by Rachel McClellan

  “Where should we sit?” May whispered. We were standing in the doorway, off to the side.

  “Let’s go sit—”

  “Can I have your attention, please?” Sophie’s voice boomed through a speaker nearby. I jumped and grabbed May. Everyone turned to the front of the dining room. Sophie was standing at a podium speaking into a microphone.

  “I know we normally don’t interrupt your dinner,” she said, “but we have a couple of new girls we’d like to introduce.”

  I moaned. Nice, Sophie. Couldn’t you have waited a day?

  Sophie eyed us huddled in the doorway and motioned us over. May and I looked at each other.

  “Come on now, don’t be shy,” Sophie said, like we were first graders at a new school. I could strangle her.

  May moved first; I followed her lead through the maze of tables up to the front. The hard stares of the girls drilled holes right through me. When we reached the front, Sophie said, “This is Llona Reese, and this is May Cellini. Llona is an Aura, and May is a Fury.”

  A unison gasp broke the silence. Their eyes moved to May, relieving me of their cold stares.

  “Let’s make them feel welcome,” Sophie continued. “It’s not often we get new girls.” She turned to us. “Welcome to Lucent Academy!”

  A polite applause, like the gentle pitter-patter of a spring rain, echoed across the great room. I bowed my head slightly in acknowledgment, but wondered if I should have curtsied or something. As soon as their clapping slowed, I dived toward the nearest seat. May followed.

  The table was almost full. I smiled at the other girls, who I just now recognized as the ones who’d joked about my room and me turning up dead inside it. Awesome.

  The girls didn’t say or do anything—just remained in their statue-like stance—but then the magical chimes sung their song, and it was as if the sound woke the girls. The room burst into an array of sounds all at once: girls chatted and laughed, dishes clanked together as many poured water into their glasses, and doors at the side of the room flew open, letting in a steady stream of people in uniforms, carrying platters of food. From where I sat, I smelled chicken and broccoli.

  A girl across the table said, “So, May, Llona,” there was contempt in her voice when she said my name. She’d obviously heard something about me she didn’t like. “I’m Ashlyn and these are my friends, Valerie, Anna, Jan, and Katie.” The girls smiled and said hello.

  “Welcome to our school,” Ashlyn said. “It’s always nice to have a Fury among us.”

  Ashlyn was very pretty with petite features and long strawberry-blonde hair that fell past her shoulders in big curls. I wondered how she was able to get curls that big. I reached up and tugged at my own hair.

  “Where are you from?” Valerie asked May. Valerie’s blue eyes were the same navy blue color as her baby-doll T-shirt.

  May looked at me. “We’re from Utah. We both went to the same school.”

  “Really?” Valerie said. “I wonder what the odds are of that? A Fury and an Aura.”

  “How did you discover each other?” Anna butted in. Her voice was small and mousy, matching her short dark hair and upturned nose.

  “It was by accident, really,” I began.

  “Anna was asking May,” Ashlyn interrupted.

  I visibly jerked. “Oh, okay.” And so it begins. I grabbed my glass and took a sip of water.

  May looked uncomfortable, but she continued where I’d left off. “We were lab partners. I accidentally exploded a beaker of oil and it caught her hair on fire.”

  A couple of the girls giggled.

  May ignored them. “Llona had seen me start the fire, and I noticed her hair grow back, so we both knew we were different. We were pretty much best friends after that.”

  Ashlyn tilted her head. “What do you mean her hair grew back?”

  May glanced over at me nervously, hoping I would answer, but if they didn’t want to talk to me, I wasn’t going to start.

  May hesitated before she said, “Her hair can’t be cut or colored. It’s always the same. Isn’t that how all Auras’ hair is?”

  The girls paused and looked at each other before they burst out laughing. I took another drink; my eyes settled on Sophie sitting three tables over. She gave me an encouraging smile. I didn’t return it.

  Ashlyn was the last one to stop laughing, unfortunately. The sound hurt my ears—it was loud and high pitched, sounding more like a chipmunk on crack than an actual laugh. I stared at her coolly.

  “So you’re telling me,” Ashlyn said, addressing me with a stupid grin, “that your hair won’t ever change?”

  “Are you giving me permission to speak now?” I said.

  The table grew quiet.

  Ashlyn turned to Anna and said, “This is what the outside does to you, turns you into a heathen.”

  I was about to show her how a heathen curses when three waitresses brought food to our table. Two of the servers looked like they were around twelve, and the older one looked more my age. When the older one set a plate of food in front of me, I glanced at her and said, “Thank—” Then the water in my throat caught, and I began to cough, making the girls at the table laugh again. I did a double take at the waitress’s face to see if what I’d just seen was real.

  It was, but I still couldn’t believe it. On the side of the girl’s face and partway down her neck were light green scales. They were shinier than the rest of her skin, and if I looked at them at a certain angle, they had a rainbow glow to them. The girl met my stare but then quickly looked away, her face reddening.

  As soon as the waitresses were gone, Ashlyn said, “Is that your first time seeing a Lizen?” She seemed pleased by my ignorance.

  “A what?” May asked.

  “A Lizen. You know, half man, half . . . lizard.” The other girls looked at her in shock as if she’d said something forbidden.

  It was my turn to laugh. “Lizard people? It’s just a crazy birth deformity.”

  “You really don’t know a thing, do you?” Ashlyn straightened in her seat as if she were a teacher preparing for a lecture. “Lizens have been around since the dawn of time. While other species were evolving, Lizens didn’t quite make it. Their deformity stuck, and when they bred with each other, it only made it worse.”

  “Where have they been this whole time?” May asked, eyes wide.

  “In hiding of course. Wouldn’t you hide too if you had scales on your body?” She tossed a disgusted look in the direction of the ever-moving waitresses.

  Valerie looked at us conspiratorially, adding, “Their race almost went extinct until the Auras brought them here to serve us. They live on campus in Lambert House. The women work inside and the men take care of the grounds.”

  “And they like this?” I wondered out loud. From what I’d seen and experienced so far, serving pampered Auras was the last job I’d ever want.

  “Like what?” Ashlyn said.

  “Serving Auras,” May said, apparently thinking the same thing.

  Ashlyn looked at us like we’d just told her the world was flat. “Of course they like it. We’ve made their lives dramatically better. What more could they ask for?”

  I glanced around, still in shock. “Yeah, what more.”

  Throughout the rest of dinner, the girls spoke mostly to May. I was surprised by how boastful and prideful they were. No wonder my mother had left early and refused to be a part of their organization. Some people thought she took it too far by marrying her Guardian, a big no-no, but I didn’t.

  “You should take that,” Valerie said while Ashlyn was speaking to May.

  I followed the direction of her pointed finger. Next to my glass was a blue pill. “What is it?”

  “It’s our vitamin. We all take it. It keeps us at optimum health.”

  I picked it up and looked at it. “Really?” A memory stirred. My mother used to take them too. I wondered why my father never gave them to me. Maybe he was too proud to ask the Council for them, or maybe he had and
they’d refused.

  “Isn’t that right, Valerie?” Ashlyn said, interrupting us.

  Valerie turned away from me and joined in their conversation. Whatever. If these vitamins were good enough for my mom . . . I popped the pill into my mouth and washed it down with water.

  My attention wandered away from the Auran girls and over to the Lizens who were lined up against the walls, hands behind their backs, waiting for us to finish. They looked like regular girls, no different than the rest of us, except for the occasional patches of scales, some more noticeable than others.

  I studied them for a moment, specifically their eyes, which always seemed to be looking down. And none of them were smiling.

  “Llona?”

  I turned around.

  Sophie was standing behind me, smiling. “There are some people I would like to introduce you to. Are you about finished?”

  I glanced down at my half-eaten chicken. Usually I had a great appetite, but the atmosphere in the dining room made me ill. “Sure.” I stood up and followed Sophie back to her table.

  “Everyone, I’d like to introduce you to my niece, Llona,” Sophie said.

  All eyes turned on me as if in slow motion. They all looked friendly enough, smiling and nodding their heads, but something about the way they did it looked forced.

  Sophie motioned around the table. “Llona, here are a few of your teachers. Ms. Ravitz, Ms. Crawford, Ms. McBride, and Ms. Haddy. And over there next to the podium,” she pointed to an older-looking Chinese man who was speaking with a student, “is Dr. Han. He sits with me on the Auran Council.”

  The Auran Council. I almost grimaced. They were a group of nine people, three overseeing each Auran school, who set the rules. As far as I was concerned, they were responsible for the Aurans’ weakened state. “Nice to meet you all.”

  “You’ll have an opportunity to get to know each of them in your classes,” Sophie said.

  “We’re glad you’re here, Llona,” said Ms. Crawford. She was a beautiful African American woman in what looked like her thirties. Her smile actually seemed genuine.

  Sophie turned me around and said quietly, “After dinner I want you to go to the medical room on the first floor to have your blood drawn.”

  “Why?”

  “An Aura’s blood is special. If something were to ever happen to one of us and, heaven forbid, someone needs blood, we store it here. We draw everyone’s blood once a month.”

  “That seems like a lot. Can I refuse?”

  She took hold of my hand and squeezed. “Of course you can, Llona, but it’s frowned upon. We do things here that you may not like, but they are for your protection, and the protection of the whole Auran race. Because we are so few, we have to be careful. We must survive.”

  Funny. That’s what I had always tried to do too, convincing my uncle Jake to move from one place to another to keep me safe, but I was different now. I could protect myself. I’d killed a Vyken, and I knew I could do it again. That made me feel safer than anything Lucent could ever do for me.

  With my voice low, I ventured, “Maybe instead of just trying to survive, we should be trying to kill Vykens.”

  Sophie reared back with such disgust you’d think I’d barfed on her. “What a horrible thing to say!” she gasped.

  “What is so horrible about wanting to save our race?”

  “Light does not kill, Llona.” Her voice was growing louder. “You have no respect for Light and its power!” Sophie’s mouth closed tight, and she looked around as if she’d just remembered where we were. “We’ll discuss this later,” she hissed and walked away.

  I stared after her, a new and foreign heat burning my insides. The feeling was so intense that the lights in the room flickered. I almost considered plunging everyone into darkness so I could escape unnoticed, but when several people looked up, specifically the teachers, I inhaled deeply and forced myself to relax.

  I returned to the table. “I’m going to head back to my room. Do you want to come?” I asked May.

  May glanced at the other girls and then to me. “Of course.” She quickly stood up. “I’ll see you guys later.”

  Her good-bye was followed by, “Bye, May!” and “It was nice to meet you!” and “I’m glad you’re here!”

  I kept a perma-grin on my face until the dining room doors closed behind us. Before I could stop myself, I made a lighted-up fist and punched a wall, spraying what looked like electricity all around us.

  THREE

  May jumped, barely missing a jolt of light. “Llona!”

  I glanced down at my bloodied knuckle as shocked as May looked.

  “Why did you do that?”

  I shook my head. “I’m not sure. I guess it’s this place, my aunt, those girls . . .”

  “Some of them were okay,” May said, her voice quiet.

  I was about to disagree with her, but thought better of it. May was right. They were kind, to her.

  May traced her finger on the wall where I’d punched it. “I know there are some weird things here, like the chimes and the fancy meals, but it feels good to finally belong somewhere and not have to hide who I am.”

  “They seemed to like you. I’m sorry I left early. Why don’t you go back?” I stared at a drop of blood trailing down my finger.

  May looked toward the closed doors. “That’s okay. I want to hang out with you. I think you could use the company.”

  “Actually I’d like to be alone for a while. You know, clear my head and stuff.”

  “You sure?”

  I nodded.

  “Okay. I’ll come see you after dinner.”

  Back in my room, I sat on the bed and blotted a tissue against my knuckles. Where had that rush of anger come from? Sure I was upset, but enough to punch a wall? I’d never done that before.

  I sat up. There was only one thing I felt like doing right now, and there probably wasn’t much time to do it. I opened my door and went down the long hall to the commons area. It was a large room in the center of Chadni Hall, filled with chairs and tables for studying. Four halls, two on each side, led to the girls’ dorm rooms.

  I’d spotted a phone here on my way up, but looking at it now, I decided it was too public. Another stupid rule of Lucent’s was no cell phones. I glanced around. Not far away, near the elevator doors, was another room. A plaque on the wall next to it read “Nurse.” I tried the doorknob, but it was locked. Figures.

  After making sure I was alone, I produced a small ball of light and held it up to the doorknob for inspection. It was just like my lock at home. Steadily, I used my fingers to shape the light into what looked like a nail and then guided the small spear into the hole of the doorknob until I heard a click. I smiled.

  Flipping on the lights, I went inside and closed the door. The small white room looked like a miniature doctor’s office with a single hospital bed, swivel chair, and clear jars filled with cotton balls and wooden sticks. A phone hung on the wall to the right of me.

  I glanced at my watch. It would be 3:30 p.m. in Oregon. After I left Bountiful, Christian flew out to Portland where he would go back to training younger Guardians. This is what the Auran Council wanted while they figured out what to do with him. They were still upset that I’d killed the Vyken when it was Christian’s responsibility. Completely stupid.

  I picked up the receiver and dialed his cell. I couldn’t wait to talk to him. He was the only one who really understood me. I would’ve called him sooner, but I couldn’t ever escape our escort. It had been almost a week since I’d heard his voice.

  After six rings it went to voice mail. I listened to the sound of his voice until I heard a beep. I debated whether or not to leave a message, but decided against it and hung up. As much as I hated to admit it, maybe it was better if we didn’t speak for a while, at least until I figured out what was going on with me. I grimaced at a sudden pain in my heart.

  Just then I heard laughter coming from down the hall. My sensitive hearing heard them talking about Ma
y, but in a good way. “Another Fury, can you imagine? Vykens will never bother us now,” a girl said. I chuckled to myself. If only they knew the real power inside them.

  I held still and waited for girls to pass by before I quietly opened the door and stuck my head out. The hall was empty. I stepped out and returned to my room. I can do this, I reasoned. This was only temporary, a few months, maybe a year of my life. I’d fix whatever was wrong with me, learn what I could at Lucent, and then get out of here and back to Christian.

  I touched my lips, remembering Christian’s kiss good-bye. It went beyond a kiss of lustful passion; it was tender, kind, and, although we had never said it to each other, full of love. I fell sideways on my bed, clutching a pillow to my chest. Guardians aren’t supposed to get involved with their wards, but the moment I met him last year, I felt a connection. And as much as he tried to deny it at first, he did too.

  But what if Christian received even a glimpse of my recent nightmares? Would he feel differently? A sharp knock at my door interrupted my thoughts.

  “Llona?” a woman asked when I opened the door. She was older, maybe in her fifties, wearing tan slacks and a blue polo shirt. In her left hand she carried a black bag.

  “Yes?” I replied.

  “I’m Abigail Watts, the school nurse. I believe you missed an appointment.”

  I scrunched my face. “Right. Sorry. I completely forgot.”

  “No problem. I can draw your blood in here.”

  I hesitated. I don’t know why I was afraid to have my blood drawn. It wasn’t because I feared needles; I just felt funny giving away my blood to people I didn’t know.

  Abigail must have noticed my hesitation because she said, “Did Sophie explain why we need it?” She moved a short brown curl off her forehead. Dark circles hung under her eyes. I wondered what could cause a nurse to look so worn out in a school where students rarely got hurt.