Fractured Soul

by Rachel McClellan

  “She did. Come in, Ms. Watts,” I finally said.

  “Please, call me Abigail. Have a seat on the bed, dear.”

  Abigail scooted over my vanity seat and sat across from me. From within her black bag she removed an IV bag, tubing, and a needle. “Rest your left arm on your thigh, face up, please.”

  I did as she asked. “So all the girls give blood once a month?”

  Abigail nodded. “For several years now.” She looked down. “What did you do to your knuckles?”

  “Scraped ’em,” I answered quickly and snuck my right hand under the pillow on my lap

  “It looks bad. Do you want a bandage?”

  “No. It’s fine. Doesn’t even hurt.”

  She gave me a strange look. “You look like her, you know.”

  “Who?”

  “Your mother.”

  “You knew her?”

  She paused, and I swore I saw sadness in her eyes, but just as quickly as it had come it was gone. “I did. I was a nurse when she was here years ago. You may want to look away.”

  I flinched when I felt the needle pierce my arm. “What was she like?”

  Abigail plugged the IV tubing into the needle. Blood flowed from my arm into the clear plastic bag. “She was very kind, but difficult too,” she said.

  “How so?”

  Abigail smiled. “Let’s just say she had a mind of her own.”

  “Isn’t that a good thing?”

  “Not when you have a dying race you’re trying to protect. Auras who try to do things their own way usually end up dead.”

  “But she was happy, more so than I’ve ever seen anyone else.”

  Abigail squeezed my hand gently. “I don’t doubt that. I guess what I’m trying to say is, sometimes Auras have to think of themselves as part of something bigger. Just like a clock won’t work if it’s missing a gear, we can’t afford to lose a single Aura. We mourned for your mother, truly, we did.”

  I stared at the blood leaving my arm. I had a sudden urge to draw it back into me.

  “You’ve been through a lot, Llona. If you’ll let us, we can help.”

  I considered this. I desperately wanted someone to talk to, and since no one else was around, I might as well try Abigail. She seemed nice enough. I started with the one question no one ever seemed to know the answer to: “Why can’t I change my hair?”

  “Excuse me?” she asked.

  “My hair. It’s always the same. I can’t cut it or color it.”

  She laughed, but it was a kind laugh and not at all mocking. “It’s the Light in our DNA. It affects some of us physically, changing certain parts of our makeup.” She held up her left hand, revealing a sixth finger. “I think it did this to me.” She curled it back up and placed her hand in her lap. “We all have things about us that we would like to change. Very few of us are ever happy with our appearance. Personally, I think your hair is lovely. There are lots of people who would love to have your hair, especially those who have lost theirs to cancer.”

  “I guess if you put it like that,” I said, feeling stupid for asking the question.

  “You’re a special girl, Llona. Whatever happens here, just remember your focus: to become a better and stronger Aura. There are so few of us.”

  I was about to ask her what she meant when a head popped in the door.

  “Am I interrupting?” May asked.

  Abigail looked down at the bag, which was almost full. “Nope. I’m finished. Come on in.” Carefully, she pulled out the needle and pushed a cotton ball onto my arm. “Hold this, please,” she told me.

  “How was dinner, May?” I asked. Abigail placed a Band-Aid over the cotton ball.

  “Not bad.”

  “So, you’re May?” Abigail asked. “The recently discovered Fury?”

  “That’s what everyone keeps saying,” May said.

  Abigail went to her and, inches from her face, said, “Be careful and know exactly who you are.” She leaned away and smiled. “You girls have a good night and remember, if you ever need to talk to someone, my office is near the commons room.”

  As soon as she closed the door, May said, “That was weird.”

  “Completely,” I agreed.

  May slipped off her sandals and wiggled her toes into the tan carpet. “You’re lucky you have carpet.”

  “Don’t you?”

  “No. I have the same hardwood that’s in the halls.”

  I found it odd that my room would have carpet when our rooms were so close. “Yeah, well I would rather have hardwood floors than a stinky room.”

  May inhaled deeply. “I don’t know why you keep saying that. It smells fine in here. How’s your hand?”

  I looked down at my right knuckle and was surprised to see that it was almost healed.

  May noticed too. “Wow! I can’t believe how fast Auras heal.”

  “Neither can I,” I said, knowing I had never healed this fast before.

  Before I could think too much about it, May asked, “Have you called Jake yet?”

  “Not yet.”

  “I still need to call my mom too. Some lady in the dining room said we could use the phone in the commons room or downstairs in the lobby after seven.”

  “Cool. Let’s go. I’ll try calling Christian after Jake.” I turned around and almost ran into Sophie, who was standing in the doorway. I gasped.

  “Call Christian?” she said, her eyes narrowing.

  I stuttered. “I just wanted to see how he’s doing, that’s all.”

  Sophie closed the door. “I think we should have a talk, Llona.”

  May looked from me to her. “Maybe I should go—”

  “Stay,” Sophie said. “Llona may need to be reminded of what I’m about to tell her. Sit down, please.”

  Both May and I dropped to the bed and looked at each other.

  “I have a confession, Llona. About you. And Christian.” Sophie walked to the window and peered out. “I know Christian was staying at your house for a while—”

  “It wasn’t what it seemed!” I blurted. How could she have known? Jake wouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t think anyway.

  Sophie turned around and gave me a kind smile. “I know, Llona. It was your special circumstance, I understand. You felt you were being hunted and thought a Vyken was after you. Having Christian close by made you feel safer. I know all about it.”

  I shook my head. “I didn’t just think a Vyken was after me. I knew it.”

  “It’s true,” May said.

  “Of course it is. Christian’s report was very detailed, including the part where you—not him—killed the Vyken.”

  “That wasn’t his fault,” I said, my hands tightening into fists. “I snuck out of the house while he spoke to the police about . . .” I swallowed, unable to say Tracey’s name. May looked at me sympathetically.

  Sophie sat down on the vanity chair and placed her hand over mine. “This isn’t about what happened. This is about your future.”

  “My future?”

  “You formed a bond with Christian. Most Auras do with their Guardians, but I’m worried that your bond, because it was created under unusual circumstances, might be different than most.”

  My pulse began to race. Did she know we’d kissed?

  Sophie took a deep breath. “I’m afraid you may feel more strongly for Christian than you should. It’s only natural, after all. You haven’t been properly trained, and you might think it’s acceptable because of your parents’ relationship, but,” she motioned for me not to interrupt, “I want to reiterate that a relationship between an Aura and her Guardian is dangerous. Your mother knew this, but she ignored it.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  Sophie withdrew her hand and looked away. “Laura came to me the night before she was married. She was having doubts about your father, Mark.”

  “No way,” I said, knowing how much my parents loved each other.

  “It’s true. You see your mother kept having dr
eams—nightmares is more like it. In it she would see Mark dying, a hundred different ways. At first she thought she was just nervous because they were going against everything they’d been taught, but after a while, she became convinced it was a premonition. I told her if she felt that strongly about it, then she shouldn’t marry him.”

  My mouth dropped open, but Sophie continued, “When we finished talking, Laura had decided to do just that. She told me that if their union meant Mark might die, then it wasn’t worth it. However, the next day they were married. Mark must’ve said something to convince her otherwise.”

  “My parents were happy.”

  “Of course they were, but both of them are dead now, and I know that if they hadn’t married, they’d be alive today.”

  “You don’t know this.”

  “Maybe not, but I feel it. The only good thing to come out of their union was you.”

  “Why are you telling me all this?”

  “Because I don’t want to see what happened to her happen to you or Christian.”

  “But nothing’s going on with me and Christian.”

  She stared at me for what felt like a very long time. “Good. Let’s keep it that way.”

  “Well that should be easy to do, seeing how he’s not here, right?”

  Sophie tightened her lips and stood up. “Just remember what I said.” She went to the door and opened it. Before going through it, she said, “If you’re really in love—” Sophie stopped and cleared her throat, “I mean, in the future, when you think you’ve found your one true love, you will sacrifice everything for their safety.”

  The door closed. I stared at the back of it, trying to process Sophie’s words.

  May spoke first. “I’m sure your mom never regretted her decision to marry your dad.”

  I nodded, feeling numb. The smell of blood in my room smelled stronger somehow.

  “Are you okay, Llona?” She rubbed my back.

  I jumped up and inhaled deeply. “I’m fine. Just weirded out by my aunt. She can be so dramatic sometimes.”

  “Do you believe what she said?”

  I turned my back to her. “I don’t know. I don’t really want to think about it.”

  May was quiet for a minute, then, “Do you still want to call Jake?”

  I looked down at a full suitcase on the floor. “I’ll call him tomorrow.”

  May stood up and nodded. “Will you be okay?”

  “Of course.”

  She gave me a hug. “See you in the morning?”

  I nodded.

  * * * * *

  After May left, I thought more of what Sophie had said while I unpacked. Could my dreams be some sort of premonition? But I hadn’t seen Christian in them yet, and I hoped I never would. They were just crazy nightmares, that’s all.

  I resolved not to think about it anymore and finished unpacking my clothes into the small closet. I showered and got ready for bed. Still not tired, I began to read a book May had let me borrow. I was hoping it would put me to sleep, but when I finished at two in the morning, I knew it was useless.

  Since that day I killed Mr. Steele, I hadn’t been able to sleep. Jake had bought me over-the-counter sleep medication when I was at home, but now even that didn’t work. I swung my feet over the edge of the bed. The full moon spilled in through my window in great ribbons of light, pushing the darkness to the corners of the room. Seeing the moonlight was like remembering an old friend.

  I dressed quickly and opened my window. Other than a few street lamps lighting up the sidewalks between buildings, Lucent was dark and quiet. I leaned out the window and scanned the side of the brick building. Within arm’s reach was a fat pipe attached to the brick wall. I gave it a hard jerk to make sure it was sturdy. The last thing I wanted was to fall to my death on my first day.

  I carefully slipped out the window and wrapped my hands around the pipe. My feet fumbled in the air until they found the metal clips that held the pipe to the bricks. Now what? I glanced down. I had at least thirty feet to go. Using arm strength, I slowly began to slide down the pipe until I could jump to the ground.

  I kept to the shadows as I made my way between buildings, even though Sophie had said I could come and go as I pleased. Something told me that wandering around in the middle of the night wouldn’t be approved. But the moment I was clear of the lights, I sprinted toward the wall surrounding the school. The light from the full moon made the muscles beneath my skin hum with energy, but it did nothing to increase my strength like it used to do. Christian had taught me months ago how to control my power so I could always have Light’s full strength, regardless of the moon’s cycle.

  The wall’s dark form grew taller the closer I came, making me feel claustrophobic. I ran faster alongside the wall, searching for an opening. It must have been at least a mile long. The only opening I found was where the wall came together at the front gates, which were, of course, now closed and, after a quick examination, impossible to climb due to their long vertical bars.

  I was trapped. I took a deep breath and took off running again, this time toward a shed I had passed earlier. It was in the rear of the property and right next to the wall.

  I turned around to make sure I was alone. The shadows of the trees and building stretched long until they disappeared into the moonlight. I moved to face forward, but just then swore I saw a shadow detach from another and move behind me. Stopping briefly, I turned around but saw and heard no one. Chill out, Llona. No one is following you.

  I started forward again, spotting the shed’s dark silhouette up ahead and picked up my pace. I was going to need a lot more speed to accomplish what I wanted to do.

  Within feet of the shed, I leapt as high as I could. My fingers just barely caught the edge of the shed’s roof, and I used my arms to pull me up the rest of the way. I straightened and looked out over the wall. Moonlight drenched the top of the forest, but none of its light was allowed through. The trees clung to the darkness as if it were its lifeblood. I suddenly wanted to be a part of it, to discover what lay hidden within.

  I scooted back as far as I could on the shed’s small roof, took a deep breath, and then sprinted five steps. In one giant leap I jumped from the shed and landed on top of the wall, swinging my arms hard to keep me balanced on its narrow top. As soon as I was sure I wasn’t going to fall on my face, I let out the air I’d been holding.

  The air was cool, and, as I breathed in, it raced into my lungs. The feeling of suffocation no longer plagued me. Smiling, I didn’t just jump from the wall, I dove. And just before I reached the ground, I turned my dive into a summersault and rolled into a standing position.

  I focused on the darkness ahead of me. I should be frightened. I shouldn’t want to go in there. But I did. A sudden fierceness I couldn’t explain propelled me forward. I was almost there, about to take a step into the inviting black, when I heard, “Stop!”

  FOUR

  I turned around, startled to hear a voice. A boy ran toward me, but as he drew closer I could see he was hardly a boy. He looked to be nineteen, maybe twenty, with a buzz haircut. His eyes were big and dark, shadowed by thick eyebrows.

  “What are you doing out here?” he said. His posture was stiff, upright, like a drill sergeant.

  “Running. What are you doing out here?” I countered.

  “Guarding the school. How did you get out here anyway?”

  “I jumped over the Great Wall of China, and not too easily, I might add.”

  His demeanor relaxed. “I would have liked to have seen that. Now, really, you should go back inside. It’s not safe for you.”

  “Not happening. I need to go running.”

  “There’s a track on the inside. Go there.”

  I shook my head again. “Too confining.”

  He looked me up and down as if searching for another reason I’d be out here other than sheer desire. “Who are you?”

  “Llona Reese. I just got here today.”

  He smiled or smirked—the fai
nt moonlight held the truth from me. “The special Llona Reese. My name’s Jackson. I knew your father.”

  “How’s that?”

  “He trained me for a short time when I was younger. Good man. Very talented.”

  A Guardian. I should’ve known they’d be around with their special hearing and amazing eyesight. “So you’re out here patrolling?” I asked.

  Jackson glanced behind me. I couldn’t help but admire his strong Roman nose. “That’s right. It’s not safe out here for Auras,” he said.

  “I was told I would be safe.”

  “You’re safe in there,” he said, nodding his head toward the school.

  “Why not out here?”

  He looked at me like I was an idiot. “This is a school for Auras. Don’t you think a Vyken might want to hang out, looking for, um, I don’t know, someone like you—an Aura who doesn’t like to follow the rules?”

  “I’m not afraid of Vykens,” I said. The weird thing was I wasn’t. Knowing I could kill one was strangely comforting.

  “Just because you killed one, doesn’t mean they aren’t dangerous.”

  I looked at him, surprised.

  “Yeah, I know what you did,” Jackson said. “The other Auras may not, but most Guardians do. We’re all aware of how Christian screwed up.”

  Heat rose to my face. “He did not screw up! I snuck away so no one else would get hurt.” Calm down, I told myself. I don’t have to tell this guy anything.

  “It doesn’t matter what you did. Christian should’ve been there. It should’ve been him who killed the Vyken, not you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re an Aura. You’re incapable of killing.”

  It was my turn to look at him as if he were the idiot. “But I did kill one, and I was just fine. In fact, I liked it.” Hearing myself say this was the one thing tonight that had managed to frighten me.

  “Then there’s something wrong with you,” he said, as if that was the only explanation.

  “I don’t have time for this.” I took a step toward the shadows.

  Jackson grabbed me by the arm. His grip was incredibly strong. “I can’t let you do that.”

  I shrugged his arm away. “You don’t have a choice. I’m not a prisoner.”