Remember Me

by D. E. White

  The guilt was back, flushing Ava’s cheeks, making her voice croaky and uncertain. She had failed Ellen but she wouldn’t fail Bethan. Uncle Alf. The name seemed to be branded in fire above the desk. She shoved the image away. If he had been involved in Ellen’s death, he was certainly not involved in Bethan’s disappearance.

  ‘Right, let’s get on with this. Huw is talking to one of the PCs now, and of course he’s asking all the same questions. Huw is shouting about everything. His solicitor is getting pretty pissed off with him. Doesn’t mean he has anything to hide, obviously. We need to find this bloody girl and nail whoever is behind this. I mean, if we can’t work it out from such a small pool of suspects, I might as well retire now.’

  ‘Okay, I’m ready.’ Ava took a deep breath, inhaling smoke, fighting to keep her hand still and not reach for Sophie’s packet.

  It took two hours, and by that time they still hadn’t discovered anything useful. Ava checked her phone again, but there was nothing.

  ‘Shit, come on, Ava, flowers and hearts.’ Sophie shoved another cup of coffee across the table, paused to answer a call, and then hung up sighing. ‘Nothing on the photographs of Bethan, and it looks like the team down by Big Water had to go home early because of the weather. The only caves mapped around here have now been searched. We’ve been up to your parents’ old caravan park and there is nothing, the same with the old kids’ playground, the outward bound centre and the derelict houses off the new estate. No holes underground, no cellars or anything. Come on, Ava!’

  ‘The only thing that comes up is primary school. We used to scratch doodles like that into the desks, and maybe send notes to each other,’ Ava said helplessly. She was exhausted and frustrated at her inability to help. Her personal involvement was a hindrance, preventing her usually fertile brain from churning out answers.

  Sophie leant back in her chair, tugging at the collar of her red shirt, rubbing tired eyes. ‘All right, let’s give up for tonight. Go home and see what they come up with next. I’ve sent someone to look at the old primary school. I’m sure you already know, but Leo has been in all afternoon. They’ve resumed filming, but I wanted his take on the night Ellen died again.’

  ‘Okay, thanks. I’ll probably be staying at Leo’s place again tonight. I feel safer than at the Birtleys’.’

  Sophie gave her another hard look. ‘Right.’

  * * *

  Leo gave her a weary smile as they met outside the police station. ‘Shit, I need a drink after that. Race you back home?’

  ‘Is that okay? Me staying with you, I mean… I did drop in at the Birtleys’ and get some things.’ Ava bit her lip, colour flooding her cheeks again.

  ‘Of course. I hope that old truck can get up the hill to my driveway or I’ll have to tow you again.’ He grinned at her, snowflakes settling in his dark hair.

  She spent the whole journey with her eyes riveted on the road in front, bumping slowly down snow-clogged lanes. But her mind was far from her driving, still desperately trying to place those flower scribbles. She was also thinking about Leo.

  It was so weird the way their relationship had progressed in the last twenty-four hours, but she didn’t stop to analyse. When they arrived back at his house, his housekeeper had made up another room for Ava, complete with toiletries, bathrobe and even slippers.

  ‘So how did your interview go?’

  He pulled a bottle from the rack and uncorked it, not answering until he took a sip of wine. ‘It was harsh. Are you sure they don’t think I did all this, Ava? I feel like a prime suspect. My legal team are not happy, and my PA just called to say all the nationals want a quote. Thank Christ the snow is keeping them all away at the moment, but when the contestants go home they’re going to make a killing, sorry – wrong word, on media appearances and exclusive interviews.’

  ‘I don’t know if you are still a suspect. Sophie is good, but at the moment all she has to go on is us lot, and the messages I keep getting. Hell, if I was really clever I could be behind all this and sending them to myself for cover.’ She took the glass he handed her and smiled.

  Leo raised his eyebrows. ‘You’re not that smart.’ His smile was teasing.

  ‘But every question leads us closer to Bethan. Sorry you had to go through that, and I know you’re desperate to carry on with the filming, so at least you got clearance to finish it. I reckon anything we can add, any tiny detail or memory will help at this point. Even knowing something that might not be important on its own, when you add it to the bigger picture, you get clarity.’

  He was smiling at her. ‘I can see why you’re good at your job, Detective Cole.’ Then his voice changed. ‘I can’t believe Coach Thomas might have been involved in Ellen’s murder though.’

  ‘He might not be. It might be a friend of his, or a business associate, but clearly there is a link. Alex got close, and whoever he was pushing for information silenced him.’

  ‘Shit, and we were so convinced it was one of us… I suppose they’ll ask Penny if she knows anything, but Coach Thomas will never understand if they question him. I mean, you said you’d seen the man, Ava. He can hardly speak now.’

  ‘I know.’

  They sat in silence, but it was an easy peace rather one filled with awkwardness. Ava curled up in a fleecy throw that was draped across the sofa, tucking her long legs under for extra warmth. The big, fat candles that were lit on the windowsills scented the air with peppermint and rose. ‘Wow, Leo, you are spoilt – this is like a luxury spa or something.’ She didn’t mention sleeping with him and he didn’t ask. Perhaps this was meant to be closure or something. The spark between them was still there, but it had dulled to a comforting glow, making it stronger, less antagonistic.

  ‘Well, you know… I’ve got an idea. How about I cook you dinner and we catch up properly, just talk about fifteen years of stuff, nothing to do with Ellen or Bethan?’

  ‘You’re thinking our sub-conscious might hit on something important?’

  ‘Nope, I just think it would be nice.’ He grinned at her. ‘Plus, I’m a great cook and I want to show off.’

  Ava sank deeper into the overstuffed sofa, and crossed her long legs. ‘Sounds great, I do like to be pampered. Actually, I don’t really. My girlfriends are the ones going to spas and pamper days, and I go down the gym for boxing, or up in the hills hiking. One of my best friends lives out in Long Beach, so I drive down there and we go to a great place on the corner of Ocean and Pine for lunch. Burgers and fries with a Bloody Mary.’

  He was laughing, but his eyes flickered over her body. ‘Seems to be keeping you fit. I thought you were going to say you went to some healthy place where they just drink wheatgrass juice or something!’

  Her phone buzzed and they both froze. ‘It’s just a text from Penny. She’s pretty cross about those doodles, and she wants to know what the police are doing with Huw. Apparently, his girlfriend is speaking to the papers. Silly cow, that’s all we need.’

  Leo rolled his eyes and began assembling ingredients on his countertop. ‘Trouble is, Huw has always had a temper, hasn’t he? His women have all left him, and he can’t see why.’

  ‘Do you mean he hits them?’ Ava was shocked.

  Leo shrugged, shredding cabbage, and slicing bacon at speed. The knife glinted in the bright lights of the kitchen, a contrast to the soft glow from the candles at Ava’s end of the room. ‘I don’t know, but he might have done. He’d never touch the kids. I know it might seem like we’re all still really tight, but I only catch up with the boys when I’m down here. It’s more the history than anything. They all came up when I was at uni though…’

  Ava curled her legs under her and hugged a furry cushion. ‘I know. Penny told me. She told me about the girl who was raped the weekend they all went up. You went to the same bar she did.’

  Leo stopped what he was doing and laid the knife carefully onto the board. ‘It was such a long time ago, and there was never any suggestion it was me. I did wonder why the police brought it
up. Did Penny say she thinks I did it then?’

  Shifting loyalties, Ava thought, wriggling deeper into her sofa. Three days ago, she would have defended Penny to the death, but was she now going to abandon her friend over some scribbles? In work she always went with her gut… ‘I don’t remember. We were just brainstorming and catching up. It was a passing comment.’

  Leo grinned, taking a frying pan out of a high cupboard. ‘Sure it was. Is that your phone again?’

  She reached for it, and picked up her wine glass for a refill. ‘Sophie?’

  ‘I just heard from the hospital that your friend Rhodri has taken a turn for the worse. They’ve moved him into ICU and they’re working to get him stable again. The heroin he injected was mixed with something else, and at the moment they aren’t sure what. Any more messages from our perp?’

  ‘No. Shit, I wonder if I should go up to the hospital, but as he’s still unconscious…’

  ‘I wouldn’t. No point, and there will be press hanging around. You staying at Leo’s is going to make them even more excited. I’m packing up for the night now but call me if anything happens.’

  Ava ended the call and relayed the information to Leo. Delicious smells were wafting from the kitchen area and her stomach growled.

  ‘We won’t do any good by charging up to the hospital. Do you think we’d even get to see him?’

  ‘Probably not,’ Ava admitted.

  ‘Well then. Here, eat this… I’ll open another bottle of wine, and we’ll do that catching up thing.’

  ‘Okay, sounds good.’

  * * *

  Ava slept late, woken by Leo thumping on her bedroom door. She felt muzzy-headed and lethargic. The huge window opposite her bed showed the skies loaded with grey and purple clouds. Tiny spatters of snow were already spinning through the sky.

  ‘Coffee. I thought you’d like a lie-in.’

  ‘Thanks, Leo.’ She yawned and checked her phone. Twelve messages. While she drank she scrolled through. The last one made her sit up. She flung back the covers and narrowly avoiding spilling her coffee. ‘It’s another message from our friend.’

  ‘What does it say?’

  ‘It’s in Welsh.’

  ‘Fuck. I can’t remember any of it. Can you translate it?’

  ‘Maybe. Give me a minute.’ She was hastily Googling the words, dragging her mind back to the language of her childhood. It was only at primary school that they had been taught Welsh, but many of the older inhabitants of Aberdyth switched fluently between that and English, so the children had copied them. ‘Okay, I think I’ve got it.’ She read it out loud:

  ‘You lose, you snooze, and she’s sleeping right now. Do you want to lose her, or will you take a dare? Ava Cole, how does your garden grow? With silver daisies, and long pretty grass, all planted under the hill.’

  Chapter 33

  As I said, it wasn’t just me. As coach of Aberdyth Football Team, Uncle Alf had access to all the local kids, and he picked up others from the care homes in Cardiff. The ones who slipped between the cracks, the ones who social services tried to keep up with but failed, or the street kids desperate for warmth and money. They were his. He played the game carefully and picked on those he had a chance of using.

  I watched, sometimes baited, and hoped that the kid would realise what he was really like. This friendly, cheerful man with the heart of a monster.

  Rhodri was one of his earliest prey, and Jesse too. But not Ava or Ellen. They were too confident, too protected. That’s why I was so pleased when Ellen found her own way to my uncle. Ellen, so cool, so confident and in control, was falling for a paedophile. She was being taken in by a man who controlled an empire of sick porn and made his living preying on children. And she invited herself in, the stupid bitch.

  The drugs cupboard was impressive, well hidden but accessible. I found myself intrigued by the effect different drugs could have on different people. It could make you sleepy, or horny, or crazy, just by mixing different substances. Having experimented with the drugs myself, mostly against my will, I began to share them with my friends. When I discovered I could mix the various substances, with more interesting results, I used them to control my friends.

  If Uncle Alf noticed his stash going down, he never said anything. I was bigger now, but still useful, and besides, he still showered me with gifts and new clothes. Everyone said I was so lucky to have him to look after me when Mum died.

  When Leo or Paul asked where the drugs came from I brushed it off, saying they were from a friend in Cardiff. The trips to town were well known now, and I would return with more new clothes and an air of sophistication. Nobody ever knew how hard it was to be special, and how I longed to be ordinary like Ava and Ellen.

  And so it continued. Uncle Alf found more kids to photograph, and started going on trips abroad for ‘IT conferences’. He employed Mrs Birtley to give the house a ‘onceover’ and look after me when he was away.

  It was hilarious, but I was still under sixteen, so he played by the rules. The fact that he let nosy Mrs B anywhere near the house was proof his business had moved away from Aberdyth.

  I toyed with the idea of telling her, just to see her reaction, but I liked her bullying me into eating a full roast dinner, or telling me off for coming home late because we’d all been out in East Wood, or down near Big Water. She never liked me, but her husband did. All men enjoy looking at me, but he is different. He stutters, and struggles, is ugly and slow in many ways, but what I feel for him is close to love. Not love, because I can’t, can I? There was a time, and it was like this with Ava too, that he looked at me a bit differently, and asked if I was all right.

  I’m not sure if Mr B ever guessed, but he arrived at the door just after my uncle had finished a photography session. I was still dressed up, still a bit woozy and I saw his concern, as he dropped off some part for the truck. It was the day after, on my way to meet Ava, and catch the school bus, that he stopped me.

  His concern never went any further, but it was almost as if he knew. He went out of his way to be kind to me, and still does to this day. The fact that he is different and people laugh at him makes no difference. He is the only person in Aberdyth who was ever perceptive enough to suspect something was wrong. As far as everyone else was concerned, Uncle Alf rode in to save me from my crazy, alcoholic mother.

  ‘Gallai wedi bod chi, Ava Cole.’

  ‘It could have been you, Ava Cole.’

  Chapter 34

  The snow was blinding. It stung Ava’s cheeks and whipped her hair around her face. Her eyelashes were clogged with the tiny whirling flakes, and she yanked her scarf tighter around her neck, pulling it up to shield her face against the rising blizzard.

  Sophie, bundled up in a black coat, struggled towards her. ‘I’m going to have to call the teams in. This weather is impossible, and if Bethan is outside in this she’ll have died of exposure long before we get to her.’

  Ava nodded. She couldn’t speak. The conditions were extreme, and the wind was funnelling down the valley, creating a wild vortex of snowflakes. The blizzard showed no signs of abating, and there was no point in trying to search when it was impossible to see more than a few feet in front of your own face.

  ‘Are you sure that this is the right place?’ Sophie asked.

  ‘Well, the message referred to my garden, so it would have been either here at the caravan park, or down by the school.’

  ‘Nothing around the school. That was easier of course, but up here… We’ll just have to wait until the weather turns again. Where’s Leo?’

  ‘Up at the camp. They got a snowplough in to clear the tracks down to the main camp. Lucky they did spend a load of money on those luxury trailers, or everyone would be freezing to death. As it is, he reckons they can turn it around, and go with the weather for extra impact. He’s going to try to cram in a few episodes worth of filming and see if he can get the show out on time after all. The contestants have been pretty pissed until they started filming again. He s
aid nobody showed any special concern for Bethan, apart from Stephen, obviously, who is going crazy with worry.’

  ‘It must be tough being so near your son, but not being able to talk with him. How about Leo? None of my business, but are you and he a couple again?’

  ‘No. We’re just catching up. I don’t have any strong feelings for him one way or the other, and believe me, if this was down to him, I would be as quick as you to drop him in it.’

  Sophie nodded. ‘I believe you. Now let’s get the hell out of here and get warm. We can’t do anything else at the moment.’

  Leo’s house was silent, and Ava caught up with her emails. She drew maps of the village, plotting her garden and the primary school plot. There were no daisies in the woods, and it was bloody freezing outside, so likely even the early spring flowers had been iced to death. She was missing something. She hit her iPad and dragged up everything she could on Paul and Penny’s business. Hiding in plain sight, was a phrase her boss often used. If Uncle Alf had known about, or been part of, Ellen’s death, had Penny known? Would she have told Paul, the love of her life? Probably. What if Alex hadn’t been killed by the original perp, but by Paul, to protect Penny from family scandal?

  It was a long shot, but the doodles on Rhodri’s body tied both Paul and Penny to his assault. And Bethan? She was dating Stephen. Maybe they didn’t approve of the union? Oh God, if she had lied about Stephen’s parentage, who else might have lied? Was Bethan even Huw’s daughter… Too many questions and not enough answers.

  On impulse she called Zach, the tech whizz at LAPD, and explained her idea. He agreed to do some digging and get right back. ‘That was what you called it when you cracked the trafficking wasn’t it – the shadows underneath? Well, see if there are any shadows underneath any of these websites, names or email accounts, and we could be closer to finding our mispo.’

  ‘Sure, Ava, like I’ve got nothing else to do today, and it’s only eight in the morning,’ Zack complained, but Ava could tell he was hooked. Anything that couldn’t be explained, that everyone else was stuck on, was the perfect challenge for Zack.