Remember Me

by D. E. White

  It began to get dark just after she fixed herself a sandwich, and she kept a lookout for Leo’s headlights. He had told her he might have to stay the night at the camp if the snow got worse.

  A loud clang made her jump, and the security lights flickered on. Probably one of the press had managed to get past the gates. Phone in hand, she went to open the door, peering cautiously through the spy hole first. The security light was still on, but she couldn’t see anyone. There were footprints leading to the door and back though, and she peered at these as best she could without venturing outside. Large prints, made with the type of hill boots they all wore.

  There was a parcel on the step. Warily, Ava drew it inside, shutting the door behind her. She opened the brown paper wrapping, almost holding her breath, heart racing, her hands shaking. The fragile length of dried flowers was wrapped in tissue paper. There was a note at the bottom, but her attention was caught by the blood dripped in a regular pattern across the daisy chain. It wasn’t dark and discoloured, faded like the brittle flowers, but fresh and red, smelling slightly sour.

  Gingerly, trying not to touch the paper any more than she needed, Ava unfolded the note;

  ‘Ydych chi’n credu mewn hud, Ava Cole?’

  It wasn’t a hard translation, but Ava double checked with Google, just to be sure;

  ‘Do you believe in magic, Ava Cole?’

  She remembered then. It wasn’t about gardens after all, it was about that magical little place they had discovered one summer. She and Penny had found it first, roaming the hills around Big Water after a swim, and Ellen had suggested it was a perfect place for a BBQ. The boys quickly joined them and if she had to remember one golden day of her childhood, when you get that warm glow of happiness, this would have been it. And this had to be where Bethan was.

  Ava grabbed her coat and her phone, which had burst into life, flashing up Sophie’s name.

  ‘Hi. Good timing,’ Ava said, still eyeing the daisy chain. Her heart was still thundering and her palms sweaty. Quickly, she explained about the package.

  ‘Holy crap, who would have thought?’ The DI gave a low whistle. ‘Right, I’ll sort things out my end. The bad news is that apparently due to a snowdrift on the Brockford Road, Aberdyth is now cut off from Cadrington until they get the snowploughs out tomorrow morning, so nobody is going anywhere. Not Penny, not you or Bethan.’

  Bethan. ‘That’s the only thing that doesn’t fit. There are no caves near that daisy meadow we found,’ Ava said wearily. She took another look at the darkness, the floating flakes, defeated.

  ‘Are you on your own?’ Sophie asked.

  ‘Yes, I’m still at Leo’s. He said he might have to stay at the camp tonight, so they can wrap up filming tomorrow. Of course, if he was coming back he’d have come round via the road and not been able to get through anyway.’

  ‘All right, well sit tight. He has a security alarm, doesn’t he?’

  ‘Yes,’ Ava said again, her mind flicking over possibilities.

  ‘The forecast is better tomorrow, and the snow clears by about 4 a.m., so at least we’ll have clear skies. I can get the road clear as soon as it’s light, and we’ll take a team down to the hill. It’s directly behind the hill with the zip line on, you said?’

  ‘I need to be there really, to guide you.’ It sounded feeble even to Ava’s own ears.

  ‘You are not to go near that place. We know where to go, and we know she must be underground, so we will throw all our resources into finding Bethan. Separately, I will send a few officers and DI Hevis over to Paul and Penny’s farm as soon as we can get through on the road. Understood?’

  Translated, if it needed to be any clearer, DI Miles wanted her to stay the hell away and not interfere. She did understand. She was a civilian messing up the case and she needed to butt out and let the professionals get on with their job. ‘I get it.’

  ‘Any problems, developments, ring me. I’ll be on this number all night.’

  Ava rung off, and stared at the daisies, lying pathetically in their tissue paper nest. Almost immediately her phone rang again, and when she glanced at the caller ID, her stomach clenched. ‘Hi, Penny… How’s Paul doing?’

  ‘Hi, lovely! Much better, thanks. Oh, and Leo told me that they’re wrapping filming tomorrow so Stephen can come home. I wondered if you’d heard anything from the police? You know, about releasing Huw – Isabell is going mad trying to cope with those twins on her own.’ She sounded so normal, chirpy and happy, her worries swept away. Why was she so happy? What had happened to set her mind at rest? Ava could picture her bustling around her big kitchen, tidying, cooking dinner, phone wedged between shoulder and chin, blonde hair swinging. But she was definitely fishing.

  ‘No, sorry. They haven’t been back in touch since I was interviewed.’ Something like anger burned at the back of her mind, as she listened to her friend’s voice. Penny was involved, she had to be, but was the anger she felt directed at the other woman, or was she furious with herself for being so blind? Her emotions had clouded her judgement.

  ‘Oh… Are you okay, Ava?’ There was nothing but concern in her voice now.

  Ava chose her words carefully, working on instinct. ‘I am just so worried about Bethan. You know, with this snow, I haven’t been able to run at all, so I might go out early tomorrow morning.’

  Silence. Ava could hear the chink of cutlery, and there was the faintest sound of music in the background now too. ‘Pen?’

  ‘Sorry, Paul’s lying down, and I thought I heard him call out. You be careful if you go running tomorrow, the going will be treacherous down around Big Water.’

  ‘Yes, that’s what I thought too.’

  ‘It is Paul, sorry, lovely, got to go. See you tomorrow sometime probably.’

  She was still clutching the phone when Zack got back minutes later. ‘Got something for you.’

  ‘What is it?’ She clutched the phone so tightly it made a white indent in her palm.

  ‘A shadow. A faint one, but the kind of software I use can hack most things. So the original photographs of you, and then the ones of your mispo, all come back to the same account. I’m ninety-nine per cent sure about this, but it’s like joining dots.’

  ‘Zack!’

  ‘The name on the accounts is Paul Jones. The same name is linked to all the aliases and the emails you sent me, even the ones from that bakery business.’

  ‘Fuck.’

  ‘No worries, mate, anytime.’

  ‘Sorry, Zack, you are a genius. Thank you and I owe you a drink.’ Ava tried to control her voice, but panic and disbelief were making her dizzy. It was one thing to suspect, but another to have it confirmed. Paul had taken Bethan. Either he was working with Penny and Huw, or he had threatened either or both of them to keep quiet, because there was no doubt in her mind that Penny was part of this. But why were they doing it?

  Ava stood next to the dark window for a long time, watching the steady snow fall, the security lights flick on and off, and thinking of the boot prints on the gravel. Had Paul dropped the parcel off whilst Penny created an alibi? They would have no idea Jack’s team of cyber-crime experts had blown their cover, but the undercurrents in her conversation with Penny were definitely not her imagination. Something had soothed her earlier fears. What the hell could it be?

  She checked the weather on her phone, thought of Bethan, alone, injured, hypothermic, imprisoned underground, and then she sent a quick text to Leo.

  ‘Assume you stuck at camp. Spk soon x’

  Out the window she could see the snowflakes whirling sideways in the wind. It was dark, but the urge to do something, to save someone, was desperate. She hesitated then, finger skimming over her contacts list, but eventually she decided that nobody else needed to know. It was time to finish the game, and whatever Sophie said or thought, she knew the killer wanted her present for the finale. She felt sure Paul, or Penny, would not allow the game to finish, except on their terms. The more she considered this, the more she fel
t that this had been the case all the way through.

  It was personal.

  Chapter 35

  It was Leo I wanted really, but anyone could see he was obsessed with Ava. She wouldn’t have anything to do with him at first, telling Ellen and I that he was arrogant, but I always knew. We sat on Ava’s bed and talked and giggled, and her eyes glowed, cheeks reddening when she said his name. Ellen often tried to shut me out of these talks, to persuade Ava not to have us both over for sleepovers. But Ava was fair. She liked me, and she liked Ellen. Ellen had the edge because she was brash and bold but I was cute and funny, so she tolerated me. It was a strange group dynamic.

  One day we were out exploring round Big Water, and in a dip behind the hill, we found a magical place. It was a sheltered spot and the long grasses were mixed with a meadow of big white daisies. They were so pretty, and their subtle peppery scent mixed with the smell of summer sunshine. Soon we were making daisy chains, and as Ava fastened one around my neck, I felt her cool fingers brush my neck. A thrill of excitement ran through my body, and Ellen was sat there looking piqued because Ava hadn’t made her one yet. I fell in love with Ava at that moment. She chose me first, not because I was special, but because she liked me too.

  Those friendship bands became the craze next summer, and we all got off on exchanging plaited cotton. Leo gave Ava a band of leather with two tiny seashells attached on a silver ring, and suddenly all the boys were wearing them too. That’s why it seemed right, when I saw Ellen’s lifeless body, to pluck her bracelet from her wrist, and her hair toggle too. Ava had made the bracelet for her, and Ava had borrowed the hairband. I wanted nothing of my girl to touch a dead body. I popped them quickly in my pocket.

  Paul was my second choice. Like my uncle, I became adept at picking my prey, at picking up a weakness I could use to win the game. Ava was my secret fix, but Paul would be my rock.

  The whole ‘True Lies’ thing was Leo’s idea, but I embraced it wholeheartedly. They all appreciated my courage in doing dares, my willingness to discuss sex and fantasies. I was careful never to seem too knowledgeable, but I could hold the whole group spellbound simply by alluding to something most of them had never done.

  Paul also appreciated my short skirts and skimpy tops, but more, he enjoyed my whispered suggestions. Even then he had that edge, or weakness, that I was looking for. We enjoyed the same things, and traded what he thought were innocent fantasies. I suggested a few things, promised a reward, he did what I said. It was like training a dog. A good-looking dog. He enjoyed the things I did to him so much, he was willing to overlook the fact I knew a whole lot more than he did, and he never asked how I learned my trade.

  I was there that night, watching and waiting, enjoying the scene. The simmering resentment I had felt at being pushed aside earlier vanished as I pulled a camera from my pocket. Ellen and I had a row that afternoon about one of the ‘True Lies’ dares. Nothing serious but she called me immature and a child. She even suggested that I should be excluded from the night. Me, who had experienced things most adults should never go through. I knew she was texting Uncle Alf, and I had assumed that it would simply come to a point when she became one of those kids he brought home to photograph. He wouldn’t need to drug her drink because she was already in love with him. I thought she was already a bit old for his tastes, but I suppose she was new, and that was more important. Perhaps he had a client with a specific request. Sometimes that happened.

  Ellen was a terrible drama queen, and she had supposedly secret rows with my uncle. I would listen in on the other phone or sit outside the door as she ‘dropped the football shirts off’. As far as I could gather, she wanted him to run away with her, which was laughable. They still weren’t having sex, and it was clearly driving him crazy. All his usual methods were impossible with a girl like Ellen. Her parents were formidable, and she would blab at the slightest hint of scandal. She was an oddly selfish girl, always the centre of attention, and she certainly had some magic when it came to boys. And men. They wanted her, and she teased them.

  That evening she and my uncle had arranged to meet on the edge of East Wood. We would all be there anyway, on the other side, doing our usual Friday night party thing. He may have said he would run away with her, he may have just agreed to a secret meeting to finally get what he wanted. Either way, Ellen would get what was coming to her.

  I gave Paul a bag of pills to hand out, watched Ava laughing in the firelight, and set about making sure the others were so off their heads they could hardly stand. We talked about dreams and dares and life after Aberdyth, and Rhodri strummed his guitar. I waited.

  Ellen was late, probably taking a long time tarting up her appearance. I revelled in the fact the others had already taken the drugs, done dares, and she had missed out this time. Leo was kissing Ava, which was worthy of a photograph. After a while, I watched Paul instead, clicking carefully as he laughed and talked with Huw. Then I was with Paul behind the oak tree, his hands on my body. The empty cans of lager sat next to the roaring fire. A bottle of vodka rested on a tree stump.

  After Ellen had arrived, done the zip line dare, and sat down, she was the centre of attention as usual. Ava was unconscious, keeling over soon after Ellen arrived, but after a quick conversation with Leo, Ellen didn’t seem bothered that she had passed out. She should have been looking after her supposed best friend, but now she sat in the torchlight, laughing with Paul and the others. The light caught her fall of shiny hair, her dimples, and shyly touched on her high breasts. She was obviously wearing nothing under her green vest, and they liked that.

  Paul came over to me for another quick grope. I pressed myself against him and kissed him long and hard. But I was keeping an eye on Ellen, and she was getting edgy, fiddling with her phone and checking it every few minutes. She was arguing with Jesse, but I couldn’t hear what they said.

  It was so easy. I watched and waited. There were a lot of ‘what ifs’ in this particular game, but fate was with me. Ava stayed passed out, Leo accepted another pill, went off for a piss in the woods. He was still stumbling around when Paul started kissing Ellen. There was a protest from Jesse, as I thought there would be. But he was easily silenced. I watched, they laughed and cheered and watched.

  Up until then I hadn’t been quite sure what I would do, apart from watch, of course. Now I knew. After another argument with Jesse, safe in the darkness, Ellen crept away from the firelight and into the woods. I followed her, whilst the others stayed, semi-comatose on the other side of the wood. I think Jesse called out, but the others were laughing, and I heard more cans opening. The music was turned up, but Rhodri wasn’t accompanying on his guitar.

  He was waiting by his car, smoking, and they did the usual kiss. I took a quick photo. The photos were pretty blurred because of the darkness, but he’d left the car headlights on, so you could make out faces. He switched the lights off, locked the car, and slid an arm around her shoulders as he drew her deeper into the wood. Then they were talking urgently. She wanted him to run away with her, go to Cardiff like he had promised. It might then still have been okay, but she threatened to tell everyone he had been seeing her since she was fourteen. I think she even said the word ‘paedophile’, and of course that did not go down well with my uncle.

  It was over very quickly, although she fought back pretty hard. It was a hard lesson to learn, but it was done. He was moving away from her, breathing hard, zipping up his trousers, when she leapt up like a cobra striking. Her own clothes were all torn, and her knickers were halfway down her thighs, but she was swearing at him, threatening to tell the police, her parents. At first he laughed, then he grabbed her arm and pulled her close again. I could hear the venom in his voice, but she pulled back and lashed out at his face.

  I don’t think he meant her to die, and by the time I realised what was happening it was too late. I had only wanted to see the light on her face when it happened. I wanted to see the terror, the helplessness in that camera flash. She wasn’t special like
me, but this was her chance. She deserved it. He took pictures, and I took my own pictures. Mine have been under the floorboards, but he sold his as usual. I was surprised he dared, with Ellen ‘missing’ but he was so cocky, so arrogant and sure he couldn’t be caught. He ripped her knickers away for his own trophy drawer. His was overflowing, my own collection just beginning.

  It was so quick, Ellen’s murder, I couldn’t have stopped it. Would I have done? Yes, I think I would have tried. This was not part of the game, but somehow fate had decided for me.

  Her body was still in his torchlight. I could see the marks on her neck. She was as limp as the ragdoll Uncle Alf bought me for my eighth birthday.

  He was breathing fast and swearing under his breath. I could see him glance over to where our party was, almost hear the swift calculations in his brain. He picked her up, ran past me, and threw her down in the very middle of the path that led back to our clearing. My uncle chucked an armful of leaves across her body and ran back to the car.

  It was the strangest thing, as I always saw him as so calm and in control, but I think this time he actually panicked. This was something that wasn’t in the plan, and it was his good fortune that my friends reacted the way they did. Although, I suppose within my uncle’s calculations would have been his realisation that he had a body, and the police would find and examine that body. He wore gloves, and I know he always used protection when he had sex, so did he hope there would be no physical traces that led back to him? I’m still not sure to this day why he just threw Ellen’s body down and fled, but it was interesting the chain of events he set in motion that night…

  I could hear the engine revving as he drove up the hill. It was very quiet this side of East Wood, and for a bit it was just me and her. Back on our side of the wood, I could still hear laughter, screams of laughter, and loud music, but it seemed to come from so far away that it could actually have been another dimension.