The Secret Crush

by Sarah M. Ross

  I wanted so badly to ask him what he was thinking. To say aloud the thoughts that were screaming in my head, but I didn’t move. Didn’t say anything. It was like coaxing out a skittish kitten. I was too nervous that he was on the verge of admitting all, and I’d somehow say something that would make him change his mind.

  His thumb continued to caress my cheek while he did all this, igniting a need deep within me. An ache that spread from my core out. The movement was soft while his hands held me so firmly. His thumb moved to my mouth, brushing my lower lip. I wanted his touch. His possession of me. His mouth on mine. Sweet lord, did I want his mouth on mine.

  The ache deepened as he held me and I wanted to groan. Need moved from simmer to a slow boil, making me squirm in my seat.

  “Please,” I whispered, so low I barely heard it myself.

  As if in answer to my plea, he leaned closer, and my eyes slid shut. He pressed his lips to mine, softly at first but them firmer, claiming me. Possessing me. His tongue slipped against the seam of my lips, and I opened, granting him access. He groaned, the rumble vibrating off him as his tongue dipped into my mouth, swirling with my own. He tasted like cinnamon—spicy and hot.

  My body warmed from the center out as we kissed, like I’d just drunk a hot cup of tea or something. It spread through me until it reached my fingertips and toes. The further it spread, the more the world disappeared, until it was just the two of us. Nothing else existed besides his lips on mine, his tongue swirling with my own, his hands on me.

  My body melted into him, pressing my mouth harder against his, seeking more. I couldn’t be close enough. I needed more.

  I wrapped my hands around his neck, pulling him closer. His hands slid down the length of my body and around my waist until he lifted me up and placed me on his lap, so I straddled him.

  I could feel the evidence of how much he wanted me, and it only made me want him more. I moaned and pushed down onto him softly, but it was enough to make his fingertips press into my hips.

  “Fuck, Hadley,” he moaned, deepening our kiss.

  “Don’t stop,” I begged, wrapping my hands around him tighter, clinging to his shirt and wishing I could run my fingers through his hair.

  The kiss lasted a lifetime, consuming every part of me. It was powerful, fusing us together until at last I broke free, breathing hard as my heart pounded in my chest.

  “Wow,” I breathed, still trying to steady myself.

  His hand reached up, tucking my hair behind my ear. I leaned into his hand, not ready to lose contact with him just yet. He lifted me off his lap and stood, taking a deep, calming breath before coming back to me and kissing me briefly again.

  He took two steps back, lifting my hand to his lips before kissing the center of my palm. “Soon. I promise.”

  “I’m holding you to that.”

  He didn’t say anything else as he backed away, leaving me alone on the dock.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  MY HEART RACED, AND IT had nothing to do with the mile jog I’d just taken.

  It had everything to do with Hadley. And that kiss.

  My God—the kiss was spectacular. It had been so hard to walk away from her. From those amazing lips. I honestly had no idea how I’d found the will to take those steps in the opposite direction when everything in me screamed to move closer.

  I stepped into the shower, letting the hot water cascade over me as steam filled the space. When I had the idea to become Hadley’s secret crush, I had no idea how hard it would be.

  By the time the water turned cold, I knew I couldn’t keep doing this. Having her and yet not really having her. Tasting her in tiny, stolen moments. It wasn’t enough. I needed to tell her, if for no other reason than I was pretty sure my dick would revolt or something if I continued to tease myself this way.

  But God, was it worth it. The sweet taste of her lips lingered on mine, making my body ache once again.

  I’d made my decision. I was moving my timetable. By Friday, she’d know everything. She’d know who I was.

  The thought was terrifying and liberating.

  I just prayed I still felt the same way on Saturday.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  I PRACTICALLY FLOATED BACK TO my dorm where Piper was waiting for me. I used my keycard to enter and plopped down on the bed beside her, unable to wipe the cheesy grin from my face.

  “Oh my God. You guys made out!”

  I flipped over to evade her knowing and smug smirk. “How did you know? I thought you said you weren’t going to come and spy on us.”

  She pointed her finger at me. “Let’s see. Glazed over eyes, swollen lips, smile from ear to ear, and you’re wearing a scarf I know you didn’t leave with. Are you hiding a hickey under there?” She pulled at the scarf, but I held it firmly.

  “Okay, fine. Yes, we may have kissed a little. But there’s no hickey, I swear.”

  Piper didn’t look convinced. “So did he tell you who he was?”

  “No,” I admitted meekly.

  “Wait a minute. You’ve now kissed a guy—twice—without even knowing his name? Or anything about him, basically.”

  I bit my lip. “Basically… yeah.”

  She sat down next to me. “Sweetie. That’s messed up.”

  “I know. Trust me, I know. I swore to myself when I drove there that I’d get it out of him. I’d make him tell me. And I wouldn’t kiss him again until I knew who he was.” I sighed, dropping my head in my hands. “But I swear, it’s like he casts some magic spell on me or something when I’m near him. In that moment, I didn’t care that I didn’t know his name. It didn’t matter. I just wanted him to kiss me. Hell, I practically begged him to.”

  Piper sighed heavily. “He’s a Slytherin, isn’t he? Damn it. I knew you shouldn’t have gone alone. Not without your wand.”

  A laugh bubbled out of me until tears pricked the corners of my eyes. It was exactly what I needed to get out of my head for a minute. I was really stressed and needed to remember to laugh more.

  “Can I just tell you what an amazing kisser he is? Seriously. Ten out of ten. This wasn’t like last time. This wasn’t a peck. This was a full-on, sweep-me-off-my-feet and make me swoon kiss. I’m pretty sure my panties would have burst into flames if he’d gone any further. And that’s actually pretty sad on my end because all we did was kiss.” I shook very naughty and lusty thoughts out of my head. “Okay. Enough about me.”

  “Um, we barely got started on you.”

  “Yeah, yeah. We’ll come back to it. Tell me about how it went on your end? Please tell me you narrowed it down further.”

  Piper nodded. “Well, sort of. As soon we hung up the phone, I started running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I stalked Facebook, Instagram, and freakin’ SnapChat pages while simultaneously running all over this campus. I hit the Beanery, the gym, and finally sweet-talked my way into two of the guys’ dorms.”

  “Only two?”

  “It was a slow day,” she deadpanned.

  “Obviously.”

  “Anyway, JT was behind the counter at the Beanery, so he’s out. Aiden and De’Andre were at the gym lifting weights, so they’re out. Carter was at the library in a study group for chem. Neither Caleb, Ethan or Davis were at their dorms, but I’ve saved the best news for last. I asked around and found out that Brent had checked into the movie theater on FourSquare with a few of his frat brothers. I called the house and asked for him, pretending to be his mom, and they confirmed he was at the movies. But just to be triple sure, I called the theater because this guy who has the hots for me works there and always gives me free popcorn and stuff. Anyway, I asked him to go and snap a picture proving Brent was there. And he did.”

  She held out her phone to me, showing me a photo of a squinting and confused Brent, who looked pissed to be getting his picture taken. Relief flooded through me, knowing unequivocally that Brent was not my crush. And as the realization set in, hope swelled. Yes, I still had no idea who my crush was, but I knew who
it wasn’t—and that made a world of difference.

  “So what are we down to? Five possibilities now?”

  Piper’s eyes looked up as she thought, holding up her fingers and counting on them. “Four, I think. Ethan, Davis, Caleb, and Brendon.”

  “I think we can probably eliminate Davis,” I surmised.

  “You think?”

  “Well, Davis is a huge flirt. I think if he were interested in me, he probably would just come out and say something. Plus, I’m pretty sure you’re much more his type.”

  She beamed at my statement. I knew how much she liked him, and while she’d never say anything to me, it would really upset her if Davis were only flirting with her to get closer to me.

  “Besides, Davis isn’t nearly as tall or broad as my crush. He’s too lean.”

  Piper bit the end of her pen as she crossed her legs Indian-style on the bed. “So Ethan, Brendon, or Caleb then. Unless it turns out to be some random dude you’ve only talked to like three times in your entire life.”

  “I don’t think that’s likely.”

  “I don’t either, but I’m also not about to completely rule out the possibility. Expect the unexpected and all that other reality TV stuff.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Fine. It may be some random dude, too.”

  “Who do you want it to be?”

  “I honestly don’t know.”

  She shook her head. “No, I mean, think about it for a minute. Close your eyes and imagine him standing in front of you. He takes off his mask. Now whose face makes you smile?”

  I did as she asked and imagined the three different scenarios. My head wanted to say I’d be okay with any of them—after all, they were good friends of mine—but if I were to really be a hundred percent completely honest, there was only one that would make my heart leap when I found out. But I was entirely too nervous that he wouldn’t be that person to admit his name out loud, even to my best friend.

  My eyes blinked open to see a smug Piper sitting across from me. “So there is someone you’re hoping it’ll be.”

  I never could get anything past her. “Yes. There is. But I don’t want to say anything else. I’m afraid it’ll jinx it or something.”

  “Understandable.” She stood up off the bed and slipped into a pair of flip flops. “Okay, let’s go.”

  “Where are we going?”

  Piper stared at me as if I had just asked her if the sky was green. “To start part two of my plan, of course.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  I WAS HALF ASLEEP WHEN my phone buzzed next to me. I didn’t even bother to open my eyes before I answered. “Hello?”

  “Hey. I’m sorry, did I wake you?”

  “Hadley?”

  “Yeah. I can call back in the morning if you want.”

  I sat up, rubbing my eyes. “No. It’s fine. I was just watching a movie and must have dozed off.”

  “Must not have been a great movie.”

  “I was actually watching the original Ghostbusters. It was on cable.”

  “That’s one of my favorites.”

  “Mine, too. I used to watch it all the time with my family growing up. I think at one point, my mom actually hid the DVD because I kept making her watch it over and over. I was psyched with I heard they were making a new one. Sorry. I’m rambling. What’s up?”

  She chuckled. “Well, I just wanted to see if I could meet you for coffee tomorrow? I have something I wanted to talk to you about.”

  My heart froze, and my chest tightened. Holy. Shit. She figured it out. How the fuck did she figure it out? “Uh, yeah. I can meet you. Why?”

  “I just wanted to go over a few things for the final day of the haunted house. I know since tomorrow is Halloween, we’re going to be slammed, and I want to get all my ducks in a row before that happens.”

  I let out a giant sigh of relief. “Oh. Sure. Of course. Are you free around three? I get out of class at two forty-five.”

  “That sounds perfect. The Beanery?

  “Great. See you then.”

  “Bye.”

  I hung up and flopped my head back onto my pillow. That was way too close for comfort. Everything was set for the reveal tomorrow at the end of the night. I just hoped my cover wasn’t blown before then. What I had planned was huge. Epic. And with any luck, life-changing.

  I hung up the phone and smiled at Piper. “There. I’ve called all three of them. And all three have agreed to meet me tomorrow, and all believe I’m just asking them about plans for the haunted house this weekend.”

  “So do you have a plan yet on how you’re going to confront them?”

  “Sort of. I’m going to very nonchalantly bring up my crush and make some stuff up about him, then gauge their reactions. He’ll have to have a world-class poker face to not give anything away. And you’ll be nearby, taping it all to catch anything I miss on camera, right?”

  “Yep. I’ll put in my earphones like I’m listening to music, but it’ll be on record the whole time.”

  “Perfect. It’s about time I’m the one holding all the cards.”

  As I walked out of my classroom and into the main quad on campus, I overhead someone saying Hadley’s name. Curiosity piqued, I backtracked a bit until I found who was talking.

  It was her ex, Brent.

  I paused and pulled out my phone, pretending to send a text message while listening to him talking with a few of his friends from the football team.

  “Can you believe that shit? Some fuckin’ pansy doesn’t have the balls to just tell her himself. He’s sending her secret notes and shit. It’s pathetic.”

  “How’d you find that out?” one of his friends asked.

  Brent rolled his eyes. “That bitch Piper had some asshole take my picture at the movies last night. I threatened to knock a few of his teeth out unless he told me everything he knows. The punk squealed like a pig.”

  I ground my teeth but didn’t say anything and kept listening.

  “If I find out who it is, I’m going to have to beat his ass for trying to make a move on my girl. Everyone on this campus knows she’s mine. I just needed to give her some time to cool off.”

  The guys he was with all laughed. “Dude, you should totally tell her it’s you. She’ll think all that shit’s romantic and crap. It’s your in. She’ll take you back in a heartbeat. And then when whoever it really is sees you guys are back together, he’ll back off. I mean, if he didn’t have the guts to say anything before when she was single, no way he’d confront her knowing she had a boyfriend again.”

  Brent’s eyes lit up at the idea. “Dude. That’s perfect. Seriously. I’ll take credit for all that sucker’s groveling, and she’ll be mine again no problem.”

  “You’d better tell her soon, though. If he gets to her before you, then you’re behind the eight ball again. Plus, then you’ll have him to deal with if she actually likes him or anything.”

  “Fuck that. I’ll tell her tonight it was me.”

  I couldn’t stay and listen any longer. I had to get out of there before I went over and beat him into a bloody pulp. Fuck! I couldn’t believe he was going to try to take credit for everything I had done. No way I was going to let that happen. I had to get to Hadley before he did.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  FURY SEEPED OUT OF EVERY pore of my body. I wanted to throttle someone. I couldn’t remember a time that I’d ever been so completely pissed off. Some teenage asshats who thought it was funny to throw eggs, smash pumpkins, and break into the haunted house, had basically ransacked the place—stealing black lights, several of the coffins, and over half of the zombie decorations. They even spray painted a bunch of profanity over our signage. Now, it was only a few hours before what was sure to be our busiest night, and I had a disaster on my hands.

  I cancelled my plans with the three guys I thought might be my crush and called an emergency meeting of all my key volunteers. Several of them were in class and couldn’t come early, so I had to make do with only a few hands on de
ck.

  “Thank you, everyone, so much for coming. I don’t know who the little shits were who vandalized everything, but the police think it was local high school kids. They’re looking at surveillance footage from the pharmacy parking lot to see if they can make out a car or any faces.”

  “If they find them, let me know. I’ll kick their sorry asses for you, Hadley!” De’Andre yelled.

  “Thanks. In the meantime, we have four hours until we open tonight and the place is a disaster. If I could get you guys to pair up into twos, we could probably get the bulk of the repairs done. I’ve made a list of the areas that need work and what exactly needs done, but most of it will be clean up and repainting. I’ll have my walkie and will be running around if you need me. Supplies are on the concession stand. I know we can’t replace what was stolen, but I ran to Walmart and picked up a few things to hopefully at least fill in the gaps so it doesn’t look half empty. Bags are labeled by theme room and also at the concession stand.”

  Everyone dispersed, and I pulled out my master list, trying to figure out what area to tackle next when a finger tapped me on the shoulder.

  I turned, shocked at who I saw. “Um… hi, Brent. What are you doing here?”

  “I heard about what happened. I wanted to see if I could help.”

  I blinked, not really believing what I was hearing. “Seriously? You want to help? You don’t have practice tonight or anything?”

  He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “Nope. I’m all yours to use as you see fit.”

  This wasn’t like him at all. He wasn’t the kind to offer to help, at least not without wanting something in return. But I didn’t have time right now to play games. I’d worry about his ulterior motives later.

  “Okkkay. Well, the list is over there. Just find something that still needs to be done and get started. Thanks.” I turned to finish what I was doing, but Brent didn’t leave. I faced him again. “Was there something else you needed?”