Freed by Fire

by Christine, Ashley

  “What?” I asked softly.

  “Ellie said Caid…”

  I cut her off. “I don’t care, Mags. Not anymore.” I shut the door and crawled into bed. I cried myself to sleep again. Just like I had done every night since his birthday.

  I woke up feeling rested. Surprisingly because I fell asleep feeling like complete shit. My body wasn’t stiff, and my head felt…clear. As I moved into the kitchen, Maggie was already awake and had a mug of coffee waiting for me to drink.

  “Thanks,” I said, sipping the hot liquid. “I’ll be ready in five.”

  She simply nodded with a smile.

  We took the train and rented a Jeep. With the windows down and the sun in the sky, we drove to Belleville. I leaned in once we were on the Interstate and cranked the music. We sang along with the beat and bobbed our heads.

  It was busy for a Thursday morning. The traffic was thick, but moving fast. I kept up with the rest of the cars in the fast lane and floored it a little more, creating a rush in my body.

  “You look…rested,” Maggie shouted over the music.

  “I feel good!” I said. “Don’t know why! Maybe it’s the anticipation of getting naked for old Dr. Kline…”

  Maggie laughed. “Holy shit! He’s still your doctor? Fuck, he’s like…ancient!”

  “I know!”

  “I want to tell you something,” she turned the music down. “And you can’t be mad at me.”

  “What?” I asked, gripping the wheel as I blew past a black truck like Caid’s—but not Caid’s.

  “Caid was at the apartment last night.”

  “So?” I figured she wouldn’t have let him in. Again.

  “So, he laid with you.”

  Just as her words hit me, a car in front slowed and I had to swerve into the middle lane. “Fuck!” I shouted. “Asshole drivers!”

  “Em? Did you hear me?”

  “I heard you.”

  “Well?”

  I glared at her. “Why the fuck would he do that? And why the hell did you let him? You saw her hands on him…his hands on her. I don’t want him to touch me.”

  Maggie frowned. “Em, he’s sorry. He was so drunk he had to be admitted to the hospital that night. He doesn’t remember anything about her there…about Leeanna.”

  I gripped tighter and made it back into the fast lane. “So what.”

  Now I was turning into the bitch. I was becoming Leading Lady.

  “Maggie. She’s Caleb’s mother.”

  Maggie sighed. “I know. Daniel told Ellie she just, showed up with her friends and mauled Caid. He didn’t know she was coming. She stripped and…”

  “Enough!” I cried. “Please, Maggie. I can’t.”

  “Em! Pull over! We need to talk about this.”

  I veered over and slowed to the side of the road. Shifting into park I turned in my seat and put my hands in my face.

  Maggie unbuckled her seatbelt and faced me. “Listen. He’s not Matt. He’s not some insensitive, narcissistic fucktard, okay? Caid cares about you. I can see that. He may not be standing outside your window with a boombox in the rain, but he’s done everything he can to get to you. I wasn’t going to keep him out any longer, Em. I let him in.” Maggie held my hand. “Before he went to lay with you, he fucking cried on our couch. Do you know how hard that was for me? I was so mad at him because he hurt you. But he’s…broken. He’s fucking wrecked, Em.”

  I blinked. My lip trembled and I cried. “I can’t, Maggie. I don’t want to hurt anymore. I just want to live and not feel…anything.”

  We switched seats and Maggie drove the rest of the way to Belleville. We made it there with half an hour to spare. So, we grabbed coffees and sat patiently in the waiting room of Dr. Kline’s office.

  “Emery Morgan?” the woman at the desk called. It wasn’t Penny.

  “That’s me.” I stood and followed her into the back where Dr. Kline’s office was.

  “Okay, dear,” she said, handing me a gown. “Put this on and he’ll be right in!”

  I nodded and waited until she left before I stripped out of my clothes and put on the light green cotton gown. I tied it at the back and sat on the medical bed.

  When Dr. Kline came into the room he smiled. “Hello, Mrs. Morgan! Good to see you.”

  I didn’t correct him. “You too, Dr. Kline.”

  “Guess it’s that time of year again, eh? How have you been feeling?”

  Like complete garbage.

  “I’m good, thanks.”

  “Okay, well, we’ll just go over a few things. Standard paperwork, you know the usual stuff. Then we will do your exam.”

  I nodded. “Okay.”

  I answered all of his questions. What my diet consisted of, if I was exercising lately—nope—and if I was performing regular breast exams on myself. I was. He was also my mother’s doctor and he wanted me to continuously check myself for anything out of the ordinary.

  It was exam time. I laid back and prepared for his inspection. I had no reservations about a health professional examining me in that way. It was his job. I breathed softly and looked at the posters of flowers and babies taped to the ceiling.

  “Mrs. Morgan?” he said, sitting up. “Have you ever heard of Chadwick’s Sign?”

  I leaned up on my elbows. “No?”

  “Well,” he said, crossing his arms. “It is something that develops when your vaginal or cervical mucosa changes to a bluish or purple-red color…”

  “Okay?” Was that bad?

  “It’s a result of increased bloody supply. It tells me you’re pregnant.”

  Oh, so it was that bad.

  “D—Dr. Kline…” I shook my head. “I can’t conceive. You told me yourself.”

  He furrowed his brow and scooted over to his desk on the rolling stool. He flipped through my medical file and pulled out a piece of paper. “What the…”

  “Well!” I sat up this time, waiting for his answer.

  “Mrs. Morgan, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how this happened, but…you are able to conceive. Your husband,” he said, flipping the page, reading further. “Matthew Morgan is unable to father children.”

  I quit breathing. Right fucking there. Done. Stopped. No more oxygen.

  “No…” I whispered. “That can’t be right.”

  I wanted to leap off the table and throttle the doctor as he sat there in his stupid white coat with his stupid stethoscope and nerdy glasses. I reeled through my mind. All those years of feeling like a complete and utter loser for not being able to perform nature’s most natural role for a woman. To mother a child. To give birth.

  I even cried after Dr. Kline told me all of those years ago that I couldn’t conceive. My fingers itched to slap him, but I held them knotted in my lap.

  “We will do a test, dear…again, I’m so very sorry. I don’t know how that happened.”

  I do. You’re a moron. “Okay, get the test.”

  His expression was unreadable when he returned to the room with my test results. But the moment his lip curled into a tiny smile, I knew it was true. “You are indeed pregnant, Emery. My guess would be a little over six weeks.”

  My mind whirled into dates. Six weeks…oh, shit. I must have gotten pregnant while Caid and I had sex at my mom’s house. On my old bed. Well, not only did he erase everything Matt took from me…he also gave me a little extra in return.

  Fuck.

  “What was the last day of your period?”

  I looked at the ceiling as I mentally calculated. “June…30th…I think.”

  “Well, you could have conceived anywhere from around July 10th to the 18th or so. Depending on your body.”

  I didn’t even notice I hadn’t got my period at the end of July.

  Shit, shit, shit!

  I absently made my way out of the room, complete with a bunch of paperwork in my hand about vitamins, proper diet and all the things doctor’s tell you when you’re having a baby.

  “Let’s go, Maggie.” I grabbed her h
and and pulled her out of the room. Once we were in the parking lot, I let go. “I…I need to go to the pharmacy.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “What do you need then?”

  “Prenatal vitamins.”

  Maggie blinked. “For…yourself?”

  “Well, they’re not for Doctor Kline.”

  “Holy shit, Em.” She grinned and I grimaced. “Wait…I thought…”

  “Doctor McGeriatric made an oops. It’s Matt who can’t have kids.”

  “Oh, shit…what are you going to do? I mean…Em! You’re going to have Caid’s baby!”

  She was right. It wasn’t just my baby. It was Caid’s. I instinctively rubbed my hand over my flat stomach. Something of Caid’s was growing inside of me. A smile ghosted across my face in that moment. Even if I couldn’t have him, I could have a part of him.

  “When are you going to tell him?”

  I blinked. “Do I have to?”

  “Emery! Yes! Of course you do!” Maggie hugged me. “This isn’t something you can keep from him.” Once she let me go she held me at arm’s length. “Wait, so Matt can’t? And little blonde bimbo is having twins?”

  I nodded.

  “So…I wonder who the daddy is.”

  I smirked. “You know what, Mags? I’ll let them figure that one out. He’s not my problem.” It may have been a little callous, but I didn’t care. He hurt me in so many ways, it was time to see him squirm. Then again, maybe he would never find out and he could spend the rest of his life with Lindsay and their babies.

  I hoped for the latter. If anything, I would want him to be a good father. Even if he were a shitty spouse.

  “I really could use a drink, Mags…” I grinned. “But, I’ll settle for some tea.”

  We drove home to Chicago, not talking about the pregnancy or anything specific. We arrived just after seven PM and I was ready for bed.

  Stepping out of the elevator on our floor, I smiled as I turned the door to go down the hall to our door. Sitting on the carpet, outside of 46C was Caid Burke.

  His eyes flickered up to me and he scrambled to his feet. My heart began to hammer in my chest and Maggie tugged me forward as I had stopped walking. “Let’s go, Em,” she whispered. “You need to do this.”

  I glared at her. “You called him!”

  “You can’t prolong this any longer. You can be pissed at me all you want now, but someday you will thank me.”

  I doubted it. I was seething mad at her. How dare she tell him to come over! She excused herself and unlocked our door, slinking in and closing it behind her.

  “Hi,” Caid said. He looked perfect.

  Damn it.

  His hair was messy. Just the way I loved it. His eyes were twinkling green, they were beautiful in the low-lit hallway. He wore a worn grey t-shirt and jeans.

  “Hi,” I said quietly.

  “Em…I,” he hung his head. “I’m so sorry.” When he lifted his eyes his lip began to tremble. I wanted to kiss it so badly, but I kept back. “I don’t expect you to forgive me. Because, I can’t even forgive myself. Leeanna showed up. I don’t know why she did, but I was so drunk…”

  Classic line.

  He continued, “I had so much. I guess I was just happy to celebrate that night. I couldn’t wait to see you, you were all I was thinking about, love.”

  I cringed inwardly at his term of endearment. “If I was all you were thinking about, then why did you let her do that?”

  “I don’t know,” he said softly. “Leeanna fucked me up, Em. With all the feelings I used to have for her, fueled by all the booze I had…I just…I guess I fucked up. She ruined me, Em. And I let her.”

  “How did she ruin you, Caid?” I hissed softly. I wanted to hear it. Maybe I wanted to hear how she hurt him so I wasn’t the only one who had their heart stomped on.

  “When we found out Leeanna was pregnant we couldn’t have been happier. I always wanted to be a dad…”

  My heart leapt.

  “She wanted a little girl so badly. She bought everything pink, because she said she just knew we were having a baby girl.” He closed his eyes, and a tear trickled down his face. “Then when Caleb was born, she changed. Something was wrong. He was a boy.”

  What!

  “She left me. She left us.”

  I wanted to surge him and wrap my arms around him so badly, but I couldn’t. I stood there, listening to him and watching him cry. It was one of the most painful things I had ever had to witness in my life.

  “Leeanna married someone she met during a trip to Florida and stayed down there. She got pregnant—with a little girl—but the baby didn’t make it to full-term. Leeanna has been trying to get back in our lives for months, Emery. Caleb doesn’t even know who she is. She signed her rights over on him when he was two days old. I couldn’t let her hurt him. Not again.”

  “Caid,” I whispered.

  “When I said don’t hurt us, that day at the campsite. I didn’t mean you and me. I meant me and Caleb, Em.” Caid combed his fingers through his hair and stepped toward me, gently tracing his fingers down my face. “I love you. I think I loved you before I even met you.”

  “Caid,” I said again. I touched his hand and leaned my face into his palm. His skin was warm and I missed his touch so much. “I have something to tell you.”

  “Please just tell me you forgive me. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I promise that she’s gone. Forever, Em. I love only you.” Caid pulled me into his chest and started kissing my face. “Emery, love…tell me you heard me.”

  “I’m pregnant,” I whispered, closing my eyes.

  Chapter FOURTEEN

  Thursday, August 29 – 8:13 pm

  “I…I thought…” Caid said, his eyes searching mine, his tongue sticking out to dampen his dry lips.

  “I’m sorry, I was wrong.” I hung my head.

  “Emery,” he said softly, holding my face up to his. Caid brushed my lips with his and held in place, breathing slowly…waiting for me to respond.

  I parted my lips and lifted up on my toes to kiss him. He let out a groan as we kissed. It started slow. Soft and gentle, as if we were taking our time tasting and swimming in the sensation. As I breathed “I love you” to him, his kiss deepened and became more passionate. I began to cry as I let him lift me up into his arms.

  Caid backed us into a wall and started kissing across my jaw and down my neck. “Please, baby…tell me what you’re thinking right now.”

  “I’m thinking how much I love you, Caid. I love you so much.” I whimpered as his hot and wet kiss was planted on the soft space of skin between my neck and shoulder. He sucked and lingered there, and I was sure he was going to leave a mark.

  His mark.

  I was marked.

  His.

  “Come home with me, Em…I need you so much,” Caid said as his lips reached my mouth again. He pulled back and looked deep into my eyes. I could feel the strain of his erection beneath me, my body was responding like it always did when he was around.

  “I need you too,” I told him. “Take me home.”

  When Caid moved toward the elevator with me still in his arms I leaned in to kiss his ear. “You don’t have to carry me all the way there, Caid,” I said with a giggle.

  “I don’t want to let you go,” he said, wrapping me harder into his body.

  “I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” I slid from his arms and touched my toes to the ground. I took Caid’s hand as we entered the elevator and he let me pull from his embrace long enough to press the lobby button on the panel.

  I searched his face while we stood and waited for the lobby to come. He looked tired—no, exhausted. He even looked a little leaner. Had he lost weight? Regardless, he was still beautiful. A piece of art created by the gentlest and most skillful hands.

  His truck was parked in front of the building. I didn’t know how I hadn’t noticed it when we came back from Belleville. Caid open
ed the passenger door and picked me up to kiss me again. When he set me down on the seat he reached up to touch my face. “I love you.”

  I smiled at him and mouthed the words back without making a sound.

  ***

  Thursday, August 29 – 10:47 pm

  Caid’s house was in darkness when we arrived. I asked him where Caleb was.

  “He’s at his grandparents. Final week before he starts school next Tuesday.” Caid smiled as he shifted into park. He killed the engine, and the roar calmed to silence. “Ready?” he asked it so softly I almost didn’t hear it.

  I smiled and nodded.

  He ran around the side of my truck and scooped me right into his arms as I stepped down to the pavement. “Caid!” I said, giggling. “You are going to have to let me walk, you know.”

  “Not tonight, love.”

  I didn’t argue with him. I had missed him so much. He fumbled with his keys, trying to unlock the door. “Let me,” I said, taking them from him. I slid the key into the door and pushed it open. Caid crossed the threshold with me still off the ground.

  I did convince him to let me walk up the stairs on my own, however. But once we reached the top I was right back where I belonged. When I felt the comforting surface of his bed, I laid back and let Caid climb on top of me. Careful not to put his weight on top of me. I laughed and pulled him right down. “You can’t hurt me,” I said.

  “I know…” he whispered. “God, I fucking missed you so much, Em.”

  I pulled at Caid’s shirt, and he sat up to lift it off. My legs clenched at the sight of him. His body was perfect. He had lost weight, but his torso remained taut but soft to the touch. His hands moved to my clothing and in a beat I was naked except for my bra.

  Soft and heated nips and licks rained down across my chest as Caid slowly pulled down the cups in my bra. Exposing and causing my breasts to protrude right into his eager mouth and hand. He groaned as he took one nipple between his lips, slowly circling and sucking on the peak. My body bent and I cried out. How could I have forgotten the deliciousness of his mouth on me? I wanted more. Needed it.

  Caid moved slowly to my other breast and performed the same torture upon the over-sensitive flesh. I curled my fingers into his hair and pulled his head harder into me. He hadn’t even touched me between my legs but I felt like I could come at any moment simply from the passionate assault on my breasts.