A Valentine's Affair

by Eliza Dawkins

  Helena sat in silence, still pouring her heart into her copy of Love Gone Wrong.

  ‘I have no idea what would possess you to write such a correspondence!’

  ‘I have no idea what you are carrying on about.’ Helena did not look up from her book, causing Elizabeth to march across the room and shove the paper into her view.

  ‘Parents’ carriage accident? A spinster? Injury from my childhood?!’

  ‘It was my only option, Elizabeth.’ Helena defended herself. She ultimately planned to deny any allegations if they were brought up, but reading the letter published in Aunt Ellie’s column confirmed there would be no use to deny her correspondence to the Observer.

  I had no idea it would be like this. I thought this would help me dispel my feelings for Lord Robert, but all it has done is make my sister angry with me and embarrassed me. Everyone will know of my poor, lonely heart. Oh, what shame!

  ‘Helena, you have really made a cake of yourself,’ Elizabeth told her with a steely voice.

  ‘Lizzy, I am sorry--’ Helena started an apology, but her sister simply shook her head.

  ‘Save your apology and follow me,’ Elizabeth told her, motioning towards the door. As the sisters walked to the drawing room, Elizabeth continued with her jobation of reproof and scolding. ‘You know I love you, Helena, but I can’t continue to protect you if you continue to bring shame upon the family.’

  ‘Elizabeth, I truly didn’t mean to cause any harm.’ Helena tried to reason with her sister. She never knew her to be so cold and distant. Elizabeth didn’t even respond as they walked through the doors of the drawing room.

  ‘Ah, there you are,’ Charles said when he laid eyes on Helena. It was clear to see he was angry at his spinster sister. ‘Do you realize what you’ve done, you foolish woman?’

  ‘What have I--’ Helena started in to defend herself but was silenced with a raise of the young Duke’s hand.

  ‘Enough! There is no doubt you have shamed this family with your profession of love to a much younger man who has shown no intentions for you as an old maid. You have shamed us with the public revelation of your bareness. What gives you the right to publicly proclaim what is meant for the privacy of this house?’ Charles continued without a shred of relent. ‘Riding all day as a man upon his horse; hunting the moors as if you were in no wrong; if you continue with your unruly ways, I will be forced to ask you to leave,’ Charles spoke without an ounce of compassion in his voice. ‘Make this right, Helena! Now!’ After Charles rang a fine peal over his sister, the young Duke stormed from the room.

  The nerve of that petulant child. The very nerve! Papaw would never dream of speaking to me in such a way; humiliating me further than I have shamed myself. Taking orders from him is the worst factor in my wretched life. The very worst of them all!

  ‘I’ll head off to Chipping at once, Elizabeth,’ Helena assured her sister. ‘I will do what is needed.’

  Honora had Helena dressed and readied for the journey within the hour. As she was heading out the door, Lord Robert stopped her in her tracks, again, literally. However, this time, Lord Robert caught her before she fell, causing Lady Helena to blush as she felt his strong hands on her waist once more.

  ‘Lord Robert, what are you doing here?’ Lady Helena asked, flustered.

  ‘I read The Chipping Weekly Observer, and I needed to see you.' Lord Robert was so frank with his answer it made Lady Helena feel light headed.

  ‘I am sorry to have dragged you into all of this. Honestly, I give you my deepest apologies, and if you want nothing more to do with me, I completely understand.’ Lady Helena told him, waving her hands in the air while walking away from Lord Robert.

  ‘Lady Helena, I assure you being away from you is not the case.’ Lord Robert caught up with her as she was half-way to the carriage.

  ‘Regardless, I am on my way to Chipping to find Aunt Ellie and ask her –- no, beg her –- to print a retraction. I only need to find out who she is first.’ Lady Helena fanned herself with her hand.

  What a mess I most certainly am in!

  ‘I know who she is.’ Lord Robert said, desperate to keep Lady Helena from running away from him.

  ‘You do?’ Lady Helena asked and waited for Lord Robert to elaborate, but all he did was nod. ‘Who is she, please? I haven’t all day, and I will not have my time wasted by you, my lord.’

  ‘I’ll only tell you if you allow me to accompany you.’ Lord Robert knew he bore a position to bargain and was anxious to use it well.

  ‘The journey will take hours.’ Lady Helena told him. ‘Shouldn’t you have better affairs to see to?’

  ‘Nothing is better than time in your company, my lady.’ Lord Robert smiled at Lady Helena. ‘How else are you going to find the identity of Aunt Ellie?’

  ‘Believe me, my lord, I have my ways. However, I don’t want to waste a minute more than I have to.’ Lady Helena relented with a sigh. ‘Let’s be on our way.’

  The two climbed into the carriage and started off towards Chipping. Lord Robert kept trying to make conversation, but Lady Helena spent most of the time staring out the window.

  What does Lord Robert see in me? What is so special that he would throw away a chance to have a family? What does he like which would cause him to risk his reputation; to let it be tarnished and still not care? Does he love me, truly, or is it no more than calf-love? Surely, he will wake up one day years –- months even –- from now and be glad I did not let him love me. Look what I’ve done to him already in only a fortnight.

  ~~~

  As they arrived in Chipping, Lord Robert still refused to tell Lady Helena the identity of Aunt Ellie. He led her through street after street until they came upon a small yet luxurious-looking building. Lord Robert walked up to the door and knocked. When the servant answered the door, he left his calling card without another word.

  The two didn’t even make it ten steps away from the door when it was opened once more. Wordlessly, they were beckoned inside. Lady Helena was starting to feel a bit apprehensive and instinctively moved closer to Lord Robert.

  ‘Lord Robert, what can I do for you?' Mellicent Darby asked, brightening up considerably when she laid eyes on him.

  ‘It’s not so much what you can do, but more so what Aunt Ellie can do for me.’ Lord Robert told her as he and Lady Helena sat down across from her.

  ‘Ah, this wouldn’t have anything to do with today’s column would it?’ The woman asked with a knowing smile.

  ‘Wait.’ Lady Helena said, looking between the two people. ‘Are you Aunt Ellie?’

  ‘Yes, I am, Lady Helena.' Mellicent nodded. ‘And you wrote such a wonderful letter, it was intriguing to read.'

  ‘Oh...’ Lady Helena stuttered as she blushed. ‘Thank you, Mellicent.’

  ‘You’re welcome. Now, tell me, what is it you two lovely people need from Aunt Ellie? A little more advice for the lovebirds, of a more private affair?’ Lady Helena gasped at Mellicent’s bluntness.

  ‘No, no, nothing of the sort, Mellicent.’ Lord Robert stuttered out nervously. ‘We simply want you to write a retraction in tomorrow’s paper. We would be forever in your debt. This whole situation has caused a bit of a headache for all those involved.’

  ‘I’m sorry to hear about your predicament. However, a retraction simply won’t ensue.’ Mellicent told them with a shake of her head.

  ‘And why would this be?’ Lady Helena needed to know. She needed to fix the situation somehow to keep from being thrust out of her home in shame.

  ‘The why is not important,’ Mellicent told the anxious couple sitting in front of her. ‘You have my word, I will do everything I can to help the two of you. I never imagined responding to your letter, Lady Helena, would result in a home visit. Private replies are usually in a letter format.’

  ‘Thank you. We understand, Mellicent.’ Lord Robert lowered his head. ‘I’m regretful, but I understand.’

  ‘You two should go back to your homes. I'll contact you immediat
ely if I have any idea on how to fix this melodrama my column has caused.' Mellicent told Lady Helena and Lord Robert as she ushered them out of her home. Little did they know, she intended to help them by pushing them together, not by keeping them apart.

  On the carriage ride back, Lord Robert feared Lady Helena would be as quiet as she was on the way to Chipping. Honestly, he would have preferred silence to what actually happened—as they were riding along back to deliver her to Delaport Manor, Lady Helena suddenly burst into tears.

  ‘Stop the carriage.’ Lord Robert told the coachman as Lady Helena’s body started to shake with the force of her tears.

  ‘Oh my, I’m so…so sorry…my…lord.’ Lady Helena said through sobs. Lord Robert’s hands were on her immediately. He pulled her into a comforting embrace. His mind raced to comprehend what exactly caused Lady Helena to break into tears so quickly. While soothing Lady Helena in his arms, Lord Robert caught a glimpse of a miniature of her mother in her hands.

  ‘There is nothing to apologize for, Lady Helena. Do not apologize to me for crying…ever.’ Lord Robert held her tighter on the last word. The thought that Lady Helena would be appalled at her show of emotions towards him made him queasy.

  ‘I have much forgiveness to seek! I upset my family. I’ve tarnished your reputation. All because I couldn’t see for myself we cannot be together.’ Lady Helena told him, pulling herself away from his arms and staring out the window.

  ‘I don’t care about my reputation when it comes to your affections, Lady Helena.’ Lord Robert tried to make her see his love for her; all he wanted was her. When he was with her, he felt complete, as if he could conquer the world.

  ‘Mamaw was a kind woman; very nice and she always believed in me. But I know how she would feel about me coming between you and a happy, successful life.’ Lady Helena wiped tears from her eyes with her handkerchief she pulled from her small handbag. The desire to be touching her skin longed in the heart of Lord Robert. ‘We can never be, my lord. There are events in my life which keeps me from ever being able to love. We can never be together.’

  ‘I understand how you can feel this way, Lady Helena. I know there is more to life than love.’ He spoke in a voice barely above a whisper as he pulled Lady Helena back to him to comfort her once more.

  The two held each other close. But as their heartbeats moved to match the rhythm of the other’s, they were overcome with a feeling of wanting—no, not wanting, but needing! Lord Robert pulled Lady Helena’s face towards his and kissed her with deep passion and a reckless behaviour. He kissed her as if their lips joining was the only entity of importance, and, to his delight, Lady Helena kissed him back with an equal show of emotion.

  Their zealous passion for one another was all Lord Robert imagined kissing the beauty would be—it was pleasurable, it was exhilarating. His heart continued to beat quicker with each second their lips remained. But, without warning, she was gone. Lady Helena pulled away from him once more.

  Softly, she whispered, ‘Forgive me, my lord,’ before turning to look back out the window.

  ‘Start the carriage.’ Lord Robert told the coachman without taking his eyes from Lady Helena’s profile.

  I shouldn’t let Lord Robert kiss me. I shouldn’t let him fall for me more than he already has, and I shouldn’t let my heart fall for him more. Lord Robert has given me a taste of something that was once in my grasp. What will happen to me now that I know I can’t have it?

  Chapter Six ~ Sent to London

  The Chipping Weekly Observer, February 5, 1819

  Aunt Ellie’s Advice for Ladies

  Dear Aunt Ellie,

  My husband is a latecomer to the breakfast table and complains of a cold breakfast. What can I do?

  --Cold Heart

  Dear Cold Heart Soon-to-Be Warm Again,

  A really, delightful tea cozy can be knitted simply and quickly. With Valentine's Day fast approaching, a set carried out in pretty, pink wool is a rather heartfelt gift for the master of your home. Make one larger for the teapot and a smaller one for a basket with pockets for his eggs. This way, your husband can read his letters at breakfast, and have his tea and boiled eggs hot. A heartfelt pink breakfast for one! I do suggest a pair of No. 4 and No. 6 bone knitting needles. Purl and knit to your sweetheart's heart with this fashionable tea cozy.

  Yours loyally, not to say elli-estically,

  --Aunt Ellie

  To my loyal readers, all requests for advice on matters of concern are welcome. Please submit inquiries on single parchment. Address these to Aunt Ellie’s Ladies’ Advice Column, care of The Chipping Weekly Observer, Chipping. Letters must reach our offices not later than the second Friday of each month to be included in the next month’s weekly editions. Please indicate if you desire a private answer. Once answered, letters are not retained.

  ~~~

  When Lady Helena was unable to attain a retraction printed in Aunt Ellie’s column, she was quickly sent away from Delaport Manor to London. She never felt so lonely, even if the family’s London house was lovely. Benston House was by no means a sufficient substitute for her family’s manor in the countryside. However, with a small staff and her lady’s maid at her beck and call, Lady Helena did her best to adjust to her situation. Lady Helena looked up over the fireplace to the mantle where she placed her mother’s picture.

  Oh, Mamaw! I would not be in this situation if you or Papaw were here. I would be home, free to ride Jubilee all hours of the day and spend my nights reading in Papaw’s library. Oh, how I miss the sound of Elizabeth’s voice and even Charles’ laughter. I never thought I would see the day when I yearn to see my insufferable brother, but, alas, here I sit missing him!

  With Valentine’s Day only a few days away, Lady Helena tried to boost her spirits by reading a collection of short stories dedicated to the holiday of love, romance, and pure devotion one to the other. The family library at Benston House compared in no manner to her father’s at Delaport Manor. However, the large room quickly became Lady Helena’s sanctuary from the torment of the world outside.

  Unexpectedly, Lady Helena’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of one of her servants clearing his throat. Lady Helena motioned for him to step forward.

  ‘Excuse me, my lady, but you have a visitor. Shall I say you are not in?’ The tall and imposing footman Philip, asked stiffly and politely, as he announced the just-arrived visitor.

  ‘Who is this visitor?’ Lady Helena wasn’t in the mood for entertaining, but at the same time she was tired of the silence and could use the company. She was intrigued to know who called upon her. If it were Lord Robert, the servant would have said so in his announcement. Lord Robert persistently dropped in for a visit at Benston House and was, in the same way, rejected by Lady Helena. He was an unwelcome suitor causing her annoyance.

  ‘Lady Mellicent Darby, my lady,’ Philip informed her. ‘She says you’ve met before.’

  ‘Yes, yes we have.’ Lady Helena easily became excited at the mention of Mellicent’s name. ‘Send her in please, Philip.’

  ‘Of course, my lady.’ The servant said with a bow before leaving the room. He was gone a short duration, and then opened wide the door to the drawing room. ‘My lady, I present Lady Mellicent Darby,’ and he exited the room as swiftly as he entered it.

  ‘Oh, Lady Darby.’ Lady Helena couldn't stop herself from running over to hug her. ‘I have no idea what I should do. My family has cast me out of Delaport Manor until I can resolve this embarrassing matter with Lord Robert. I cannot tell you how elated I am to see you.’ Lady Helena rushed out her words, overjoyed to be in someone’s familiar presence.

  ‘First of all, my Dear, we must put aside formalities and embrace our Christian names. Please call me Mellie. And secondly, Helena, you must not fret.’ Mellicent told her sternly, stepping away from her so she could glance into Helena’s eyes. ‘Everything will be all right, in the end, you must have faith.’

  The two women moved to sit on the sizeable upright drawi
ng room sofa next to the fireplace. Mellicent's firm voice calmed Helena from her original outburst. She knew Mellicent was a truthful woman and would not steer her wrong. Even the few letters she sent Helena in reply were always filled with kindness and as full of advice as her Aunt Ellie column correspondence.

  ‘What are you doing in London, Mellicent?’ Helena asked, placing her hands firmly in her lap.

  ‘Mellie, please. And I came to town for some business and a change of scenery.’ Mellicent waved her hands around her head. ‘I have a significant meeting in an hour. I wanted to come by and leave you the address of where I'm staying. You must be lonely, and I would like you to visit me as much as you can, starting this evening with supper.’ Mellicent’s tone was still stern with a slight twinge of care.

  ‘Yes, of course. Thank you, Mellie.’ Helena nodded frantically.

  The two women spoke with each other for a few minutes before Mellicent excused herself for her meeting. She made Helena promise she would join her at seven o’clock for supper. Helena was overjoyed to have a friend in London; someone who understood her situation.

  Helena made several trips to Mellicent’s house over the next few days. The visits increased in regularity after Lord Robert stopped calling for her at Benston House. Helena was surprised at how much she missed even the mention of his name.

  Is it not what I wanted? I tried so hard to convince him and myself our feelings would never come to anything, but still, he fought for me. My heart feels as though there is a hole in it from Lord Robert finally giving up the fight.

  Helena wiped a stray tear from her eye one cloudy afternoon, whereupon there was a sharp knock on the door, followed by Philip entering the drawing room.

  ‘Forgive me for the interruption, my lady, but you have a visitor.’ He said, hands clasped behind his back.

  ‘Yes, who is it?’ Helena asked, hoping to hear Lord Robert’s name pass the servant’s lips.