Zits from Python Pit #6

by M. D. Payne; Illustrated by Keith Zoo

  “Please leave me alone,” I said. Tears fell down my cheeks. I had to make sure Tikoloshe had no clue what Kossi was telling me.

  Yes, I thought back at Kossi. Where is Inkanyamba?

  Grace knows, said Kossi. When the time is right, she will tell you. For now, you must head to the first facility, the place we used to live.

  Kossi let go of my mind, and I fell to the ground. Director Z was still there, trapped by the boa constrictor.

  “Chris?” he asked. “Are you okay?”

  I winked at Director Z.

  “Are we good?” asked Tikoloshe.

  “Yes, my lord,” growled Kossi.

  “Now, everybody behave,” said Tikoloshe, “or the plague that I’m putting the children through will get even worse! Kossi and the snakes will guard you. I’m off to plan my glorious plans!”

  Crossing Snake Plain

  Soon after Tikoloshe left, the snakes slithered out of the large main room.

  “Something tells me they haven’t gone far,” said Shane, walking over to me. “Are you okay?”

  Grigore stormed over to Kossi, his fangs bared.

  “How dare you violate my friend like that?” yelled Grigore.

  “Wait!” I yelled. “Grigore, stop!”

  “Bring it on!” yelled Kossi.

  “No, Kossi, we can’t keep up this act,” I said. “There’s no time for it.”

  “What are you talking about?” Director Z asked.

  “I can’t say,” I said. “It’s too dangerous, and we don’t have enough time to go into detail. You just have to trust me.”

  The monsters grumbled and shuffled, unsure about what was happening.

  Grace flew up to my ear. The monkey covered my earhole protectively.

  EEEEEEEEEEEEK!

  “No, it’s fine,” buzzed Grace quietly. “I will not hurt him. You can trust me.”

  The monkey released its grip on my ear. Grace landed in my earhole so only I could hear what she said.

  “Inkanyamba hides under rocks in the bend of the river directly between the ruin and the retirement home,” she buzzed. “But only the robot can retrieve her.”

  I thought for a moment and remembered the robot next to the busted tank in the abandoned retirement center.

  “Of course!” I said. “It all makes sense now.” I remembered the fang we had seen in the hole in the wall of the retirement facility, and the tank. It must have been Inkanyamba! She must have broken off a few teeth while escaping to the river. “But why do we even need her now? Let’s just finish the job we started.”

  I ran to the back of the ruin, and everyone else followed.

  The entrance to the tower was surrounded by snakes. The door was open, and the staircase was chockablock full of them!

  “So that’s where they all went,” Shane said.

  My face started to bubble.

  “Back away!” I yelled. “We can’t let the snakes see us! We’re supposed to be behaving, remember?”

  I ran out to the next room and looked out of a window. A large, winged serpent flew around the tower.

  “What does this all mean?” asked Director Z, desperate to know.

  The others looked around, confused.

  “What’s going on?” asked Rangda.

  “The monsters of Gallow Manor and I are going to the abandoned retirement home,” I replied. “Anyone strong enough can come with, but we’re leaving now.”

  I ran back to the entryway and tromped down the stairs without thinking.

  “All right,” I said. “Let’s do this.”

  Bright lights flashed in front of my eyes, and my head was in a vise once again.

  “ARG,” I moaned. “I forgot.” I tried to turn around, but passed out on the bottom stair.

  Shane rushed down and grabbed me.

  “Stupid rule,” I mumbled.

  “Are you okay?” asked Shane.

  “Just give me a minute,” I said as he helped me up the stairs. “I just need my brain to cool off.”

  “What if you bring everyone along?” asked Shane. “If all the monsters come, then you won’t be abandoning them and your headaches are cured!”

  A few minutes later, everyone—my friends and the monsters of The House of Eternal Rest—stood at the edge of the completely silent field. The abandoned retirement home stood on the other side.

  “This is too good to be true,” said Shane. “Which means it’s probably not true.”

  FLASH! BOOOOOOOOOOM!

  Lightning struck the field in front of us, and the skies darkened. The clouds opened up, and a heavy rain began to fall.

  “Told ya,” Shane said.

  “I think the rain will be the least of our problems,” I said.

  The sound of pouring rain was shattered by the screeches of meerkats. The small, furry creatures started climbing out of holes in the ground.

  “They’re coming from everywhere!” yelled Shane.

  The creatures jumped out of every hole and rushed for the river. They ran through the grassy field and swam across as fast as they could. They scurried up onto the shore on the other side and kept running.

  “Something must have really scared them,” said Ben.

  “I’ll give you one guess,” I said.

  Before Ben could guess, red-eyed snakes slithered out of every meerkat hole in the field. Small snakes came out twenty at a time, bunched together in tight clumps. Huge boas burst through the holes and practically shot up into the air.

  François looked up into the trees behind us and yelled, “Get ready.”

  The huge fruit bats woke up and shook the water off their wings.

  “Thank goodness everyone ended up coming,” Shane said. “We need everyone’s help to cross Snake Plain.”

  Director Z turned to me. “You’ve got this,” he said.

  “Run!” I yelled.

  We rushed forward in the pouring rain.

  “It’s so hard to see!” yelled Nabila.

  “Just look out for the glowing red eyes,” said Shane.

  “Stronger monsters, move ahead,” I yelled. “Weaker monsters, stay behind, but not too far behind. I don’t want to get a headache.”

  Grigore, Rangda, Roy, and Pietro took the lead.

  CRACK BOOM!

  Lightning struck the trees around the plain.

  “And try not to get electrocuted!” I yelled.

  Hundreds of snakes closed in, but they were quickly pushed back.

  Pietro was biting snakes just behind their head and flinging them away. His wet muzzle was red with blood.

  Bats flew down and plucked up the smaller snakes, or flapped their wings in front of the larger ones when they got too close to monsters.

  “Nooooo!” yelled a zombie behind us as a large snake wrapped around its body and squeezed.

  Shane turned back to help, stunning the snake with a karate chop.

  Other zombies weren’t so lucky.

  A cobra reared up in front of Hervé and struck. With a POP, the adze turned back into a firefly before the cobra could sink its teeth into him.

  I dodged the holes in the ground I could see. The monkey, soaking wet, its fur slicked against its body, screeched when I almost stepped into the ones I missed. But it was hard to see through the rain. Before I knew what was happening, a huge cobra popped out of a hole directly in front of me.

  SCREEEEEEEE!

  The monkey squealed, but there was nothing I could do.

  The cobra reared up its head to strike . . .

  . . . and was pulled back into the ground.

  “What?” I said, amazed.

  A few holes over, Twenty-Three scurried out, dragging the cobra by its tail.

  Pietro came over and finished it off.

  “W
e’re halfway there!” I yelled. “Everyone keep moving!”

  I looked back and saw more snakes and chaos. Some monsters fell. Others kept going.

  Gordon ran up to my side, and even in the pouring rain, I could see that his zits had gotten terrible. Little red eyes glowed through a dozen raised spots on his skin.

  “Gordon,” I yelled as he ran past, “you’ve got to do something about those zits!”

  “As soon as we get there,” said Gordon. He ran even faster—it was practically clear in front of us.

  “Hurry!” I yelled.

  All of a sudden Gordon disappeared.

  “What?!” I screeched. “Gordon, where are you?!”

  I ran up to the edge of a huge hole filled with mud and massive snakes.

  “Chris, help!” Gordon screeched, desperately trying to claw his way out. “It’s a python pit!”

  One snake snagged him and pulled him into the pile.

  Another wrapped itself around him and bit him on the face. He stopped moving.

  “NOOOOO!” I yelled.

  Fighting Snakes with Snakes

  I looked around for someone who could help.

  “ROY,” I yelled, “get over here now!”

  Roy ran over, and I pointed to the python pit.

  Without a word, Roy jumped in and began punching the python that had a grip on Gordon. He kicked the others that tried to get close. His fur was so slippery in the rain, the snakes couldn’t get a hold of him.

  Roy finally pulled Gordon out. His face bled terribly.

  I ran over to help Gordon while Roy swatted other snakes away.

  “Gordon!” I slapped his face. “Gordon!”

  The rain washed away the blood.

  Gordon’s face didn’t have a scratch.

  “Gordon!” I yelled.

  My friend opened his eyes.

  “That python bit my zits,” Gordon said. “Two fangs in two zits.”

  “Now you have no more zits!” I said.

  “Awesome!” he yelled, and jumped up. “YEAH!”

  Shane ran up to us. His face was a wreck.

  I looked ahead to see Ben and Nabila with most of the monsters, waving us into the abandoned retirement home.

  “Let’s go!” I said. “We’re so close.”

  “I think I’ve got to pop these right now,” said Shane. “They hurt so much, and the snakes are just going to keep growing.” He dropped to his knees, and I could see his face. It didn’t look pretty.

  Snakes were closing in, but we had to do something.

  “Grab a snake and let it bite your zit,” I said to Shane.

  “What?” asked Shane.

  “Trust me,” I said.

  “Just be careful,” said Gordon. “I think it only works if you get the fang to go right into the zit! Otherwise . . .”

  We knew what would happen otherwise.

  We dodged a massive boa constrictor, then Roy quickly bonked it on the head and used it like a huge whip to clear a space for us.

  “Shane, hurry!” I yelled. “Your face is squirming!”

  Shane grabbed a smaller snake by the tail. “This is crazy,” said Shane. The snake struggled in his hand, striking the air as Shane held it back.

  Gordon ran over and grabbed the head as soon as it struck again. Its open mouth hissed into the air.

  “Oh man, I can feel them moving,” said Shane.

  “Hold tight!” yelled Gordon. He brought the serpent’s fangs closer to Shane’s face and carefully dug a fang deep into one of Shane’s zits.

  “It hurts so much,” said Shane, falling backward.

  Shane was facedown and twitching on the field.

  “Shane!” I yelled. “Shane!”

  He rolled over, and I could see the snakes under his skin turning black and dying.

  “Yeah, I forgot to tell you how much it hurt,” Gordon said.

  CRACK! BOOM!

  Lightning struck the python pit, sending smoking snakes into the air.

  “We’ve got to get off the plain,” I said. “Shane, can you run?”

  “Let’s do it!” Shane said, jumping up.

  Roy, Shane, Gordon, and I ran for it, jumping over snakes before they could bite us.

  Once we made it inside, François and Rangda took care of the few snakes that had followed us in, and then there were no more.

  “Where’d they go?” asked Shane.

  “To take a nap?” I wondered. “I wish I could take a nap.”

  I took a moment to catch my breath and watched the rain stop. The monkey got off of my shoulder and lay down at my feet.

  The sun came out, and all of the monsters and kids smelled like the biggest wet dog after rolling around in the biggest cat turd.

  “So what are we doing here, Boss?” Director Z asked me.

  I pointed at the robot next to the tank.

  “Care to elaborate?” asked Director Z.

  Nabila moaned and clutched her face.

  “Oh man, they feel terrible,” said Nabila. “So weird.”

  “Hurry,” I said. “Find a snake. If we can get one to bite your zit, then you’ll be cured.”

  “Out on the plain?” Shane asked. He rushed out of the hole in the wall. “Where did they all go? I don’t like that we don’t know where they all went.”

  “Maybe my fang vill vork?” asked Grigore.

  “Oh, good idea, brother,” Kossi said.

  POP.

  “Too late,” said Pietro.

  I turned to Nabila. One snake had burst out of her face. She held on to it tightly—not an easy task with all of the pus.

  “I don’t believe it,” I said.

  Her other zits quivered and shook, ready to pop, but before they could . . .

  “Eat this,” Nabila said, and moved the snake’s mouth over to her biggest zit.

  HISSSSSBITE.

  It took a huge bite. Nabila tossed the snake over to Ben. “Catch,” she said.

  Ben caught it with a squeal and latched it onto his zit.

  They both fell to the floor, writhing in pain.

  “Don’t worry,” said Gordon. “The pain disappears pretty quickly.”

  I walked over to the robot and looked it up and down.

  “I’ve got to figure out how it works,” I said to myself. “I don’t even know what to do with it when I do. But how are we going to make it back to the other building?”

  “We’re going back?!” yelled Gordon.

  “Shhhhh!” I said. “Keep it down. Yes, we are going back.”

  My friends and the monsters crowded around.

  “There’s no time to explain, but we’ve got to go back now,” I whispered, “and we’ve got to bring the robot with us. I wish we had more help. We barely made it across the first time.” I turned to François. “Raven Hill Retirement Home had SWAT gear for the Nurses. Does this facility have any armor or arms?”

  “Hey, where are your Nurses, anyway?” asked Ben.

  “It’s funny you ask—” François started. But the monkey interrupted with a screech.

  EEEEEEEEEEEEE!

  François gave the monkey a funny look and said, “Unfortunately, no. We don’t have anything defensive or offensive.”

  “Defensive or offensive,” mumbled Gordon. “Hey, that gives me an idea. Remember how hard I was bashed in the face with that soccer ball?”

  “What?” I said. “We can’t ask the soccer kids for help. Even if they believe us, what if they get hurt?”

  “They’ll be so far away, they won’t be near any danger,” said Gordon. “Remember how far I was when I was knocked down?”

  “That sounds so crazy, it just might work,” said Shane.

  “I know they have the power,” said Gordon. “Now I need to see
if they can focus that power and aim.”

  “What makes you think that they’ll help us out?” asked Ben.

  “I’ve got an idea,” said Gordon. He ran out of the hole in the wall and around the corner of the building.

  “Gordon, wait!” I yelled, but he was already gone. I turned to the others. “All right, let’s figure out how this robot works.”

  I stepped up to the massive, twenty-foot robot to see if I could find a way in.

  “What’s this button do?” I wondered out loud. But before I could press it . . .

  EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

  The monkey jumped up onto the robot and swatted my hand away.

  “What is it with you and this robot?” I asked the monkey.

  It screeched again and crawled farther up the robot.

  “Get offa there!” I yelled, and I pulled the monkey down. “Shane, come over here and help me. Director Z, have you ever seen anything like this?”

  EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

  Roy held me up so I could look at the robot’s head. The monkey was getting angrier.

  EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

  There was a small door in the back that I could see through the eyes in the front, but I couldn’t open it. Ben tried, Nabila tried. We all failed.

  EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

  “Um, Chris,” Nabila said, stepping down from Roy’s shoulder.

  She pointed at the door into the laboratory.

  A very angry Tikoloshe stood in the doorway. Behind him were more snakes and serpents than we had seen all day long. They were ready to attack.

  Oh, It’s on Now!

  “I leave you for an hour, and this is what happens?” he yelled. “Kossi, you have a lot of explaining to do.”

  “Bite me,” hissed Kossi.

  “Well, that explains everything, then,” said Tikoloshe.

  I high-fived Kossi, while looking away from his eyes.