Songs Unfinished

by Holly Stratimore

  She sighed heavily and was surprised to find that though Karla’s arms were indeed crossed, her face held a wide smile as she entered. On the corner of her desk was a large bouquet of flowers in a glass vase, a large red ribbon tied around it.

  Shawn returned the smile. “What’s up, Karla?”

  Karla leaned forward slightly and nodded toward the flowers.

  Shawn winked teasingly. “Looks like you’ve got yourself a sweetheart, boss.”

  Karla’s smile disappeared. She unfolded her arms and shoved back in her chair. “They’re not mine, you nitwit. They just came for you.”

  Shawn’s jaw dropped. No one had ever sent her flowers before. Her insides fluttered. Her heart raced as she heard her inner voice scold her for not beating Jaymi to the punch. Why didn’t I think of this?

  “Well, don’t just stand there. Get ’em the hell outta here. I’m jealous enough already. I don’t need any more reminders that Jaymi has no interest in me.” With that, Karla’s smile returned as Shawn scooped up the vase and thanked her on her way out.

  Shawn grabbed her jacket and rushed to her car. Her appointment with LaKeisha was in twenty minutes. She carefully balanced the bouquet on the passenger seat and started the car to run the heat. She rubbed her hands together to warm them, and like a kid on Christmas morning, anxiously removed the tiny envelope from its plastic holder and pulled out the card. Her heart sank when she read the message: Shawn, I am so sorry for yesterday. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Randi

  *

  “My dear, you’ve had an eventful week,” said LaKeisha. “How are you feeling about everything?”

  Shawn shifted in her chair. The room was comfortably dim, lit only by a small lamp on LaKeisha’s desk. They sat opposite each other in large, overstuffed upright chairs. Several tea lights flickered in the room—LaKeisha explained she purposely chose scentless to avoid inadvertently triggering any of her clients’ memories. Shawn expressed that she was overjoyed about Jaymi but was confused about her feelings toward Randi. Why did she feel so willing to forgive Randi, yet feel nothing but animosity toward Brinkman?

  “Because their intentions were completely different. Even though both actions were sexually charged, Randi was after just that: sex. She’s obviously genuinely attracted to you—I saw that myself at Devin’s party. For Brinkman, though, it was all about having power over you. He tried to bully you into thinking you had no choice. If you wanted what he had to offer you, you’d give him what he wanted. When you had the audacity to say no, you took away his power, which meant his male ego also took a blow, and that’s what drove him to force himself on you.”

  LaKeisha leaned forward with her hands clasped. “Let me ask you this: If Jaymi wasn’t in the picture, would you have reciprocated Randi’s advances?”

  Shawn’s heart rate increased and she swallowed hard. As much as she tried to ignore it, she knew in the back of her mind that LaKeisha was a friend of Jaymi’s. As if she could read her mind, or perhaps just the look on her face, LaKeisha smiled and said, “It’s okay, Shawn. Remember, these sessions are strictly confidential. Nothing leaves this office, okay? I’m not here to judge, only to listen and to guide you through your feelings. You don’t even have to answer if you don’t want to.”

  Shawn inhaled deeply and sighed. “Yeah, I know all that. I honestly don’t know if I would have let anything happen with Randi. Maybe, maybe not. You know, I think I have changed, and maybe I’m just now realizing it. Because if I had met Randi back in California, I would’ve slept with her in a heartbeat. But when I left there, I made a promise to myself that I was going to make some major changes in my life. First and foremost was to respect myself. And I needed to rediscover my old self. Get my priorities back on track, that sort of thing. Jaymi’s just made it that much easier to do it.” They quietly smiled at each other. “So if I freaked out over Brinkman and Randi coming on to me, why didn’t I freak out with Jaymi?”

  “Because with Jaymi, you feel safe. She let you make the decision to move forward and gave you even more reason to feel safe by letting you know the feelings were mutual.” LaKeisha smiled. “Our time is up. Which means, off the record, may I just add that as a friend of Jaymi’s, I am very happy for the both of you.” Her face became suddenly stern. “Now you treat her right, you hear?”

  Shawn stiffly jerked a hand to her temple in a mock salute. “Yes, ma’am!”

  *

  Shawn stopped abruptly in the hall outside LaKeisha’s office. Mel jumped up from her seat and grabbed Shawn by the arms. She led her into an empty room and shut the door.

  “Shawnie! Did you find it?”

  “What’re you talking about?”

  Mel nervously looked around her, as if an interruption was imminent. She yanked Shawn toward her by the arm and whispered, “My joints.”

  Shawn shrugged herself loose from Mel’s grip and took a step back. “No, I didn’t find them—Jaymi did when she got pulled over by the cops.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “What were you thinking, pulling a stunt like that? She could’ve been arrested if it hadn’t been Randi that pulled her over.”

  “Pulled over for what?” She held her hands up defensively. “I don’t even know what Jaymi drives. Is it that truck that Nikki was sitting on? Because if it is, I never got inside it.”

  “You mean you didn’t put them in my glove compartment as a prank on me?”

  “What? You think I’m going to give up a hundred bucks’ worth of weed on a fucking prank? Gimme a break. I can think of better ways to yank your chain than that.”

  “Wait a minute, Mel, you said you saw Nikki?”

  “Yeah. See, I just passed that Randi chick on the stairs, and remembering she was a cop, I was gripping my bag in my coat pocket real tight, to make sure she didn’t see it. I was heading to my car, and that’s when Nikki called me over—she was sitting on the tailgate of a truck. She asked me about you. Of course I didn’t tell her anything. I know we’d just had a little tiff, but I don’t dis my friends, you know? She wanted to shake my hand. That’s when the bag must’ve fallen out of my pocket. I was hoping you might’ve found it.”

  “And Nikki picked it up when you left. How convenient. Yes, the picture’s becoming perfectly clear to me now.”

  *

  The members of Passion Play spilled out into the lobby of Jenkins & Malden Entertainment Management. They were bubbling with the step they had just taken to increase their chances of success in the music business: Lance Jenkins had agreed to manage the band. The partnership included a booking agent and a marketing / publicity specialist to complete the team. After resisting the pleas of her bandmates to join them for a celebration dinner, Jaymi explained that she was exhausted and had other business to attend to before heading home.

  She beamed at Nikki, Kay, and Brian as the elevator door closed with them inside. She yawned and went to the restroom to freshen up before she worked up the nerve to ask the receptionist if Mr. Jenkins could spare a few more minutes of his time.

  “Ms. Del Harmon, so lovely to see you again. What’s it been, ten minutes?” Mr. Jenkins rose in gentlemanly acknowledgment and shook her hand.

  “Please, call me Jaymi.”

  “Only if you call me Lance. Please do sit down, Jaymi.” He held his tie to his torso as he lowered his long, slender frame into his black leather executive chair. “Did we forget something?”

  Jaymi handed him a letter-sized manila envelope and took a seat. “Now that we’re officially business partners, I hope I’m not being too presumptuous, but I was hoping you would consider listening to this. I’ve included contact information, a few photos, and a CD. Granted, it’s just a home demo and a few live recordings of rehearsal, but I think you’ll be impressed with her. She hasn’t done many paid gigs, but she’s really getting a following at open mikes. Her name’s Shawn Davies.”

  Lance gave a warm smile. “If she’s any bit as good as you, th
en I’d be happy to see what I can do.”

  “You won’t be disappointed. She’s got the talent, she just needs some help with the business end of things, you know, to take her to the next level. I’d really appreciate it. Thank you.”

  *

  Jaymi came in and stifled a joyful greeting when she saw Shawn asleep on the couch. She quietly removed her coat and shoes and tiptoed to the living room. She smiled when she heard the tiny purring snores. She lightly touched her lips to Shawn’s and the snores changed to a sexy moan of pleasure. Without opening her eyes, Shawn reached for her and pulled her on top of her. Jaymi plunged her tongue deeper into the kiss as she felt her bra being unfastened and the now-familiar touch of Shawn’s hands upon her breasts. She unbuttoned Shawn’s jeans and lowered the zipper before sliding her hand inside to find the soft wetness she had been craving all day. Shawn’s lips closed around Jaymi’s nipple and her tongue followed the rhythm of Jaymi’s fingers, slowly at first, and then speeding up with increasing urgency. Jaymi pulled herself away, breathlessly pleading for Shawn to touch her. Shawn swiftly obliged. Shawn’s hips raised, taking Jaymi into her farther as they climaxed simultaneously. Jaymi collapsed on top of her.

  They dozed off for several minutes before Jaymi awoke with the excitement of her news. She lifted her head and was about to shift onto her side next to Shawn when she spotted the bouquet on the end table next to the couch. She sat up and smiled.

  “Those for me? Oh, Shawn, you’re so sweet.”

  Shawn’s mind went into a tailspin. Oh, how perfect would this be if I were to let her think that. Maybe I could. What harm would it do? But it’s dishonest, and if she found out…But what are the chances she’d run into Randi anytime soon?

  “They’re not for you, Jaymi, I’m sorry. Actually, they’re mine.” Jaymi’s crushed look about broke Shawn’s heart in two. “I’m sorry, I wish they were. Read the card, you’ll understand.” Jaymi plucked the card from the holder and puffed out her lip in a phony pout. “Ah, please,” Shawn said. “You’re killing me.” She ran a finger along Jaymi’s cheek. “Come here.” She pulled Jaymi into her and held her close. Was Jaymi crying? She couldn’t tell. No, she wasn’t crying, she was laughing, and then without warning, she was tickling Shawn all over, sending the two of them tumbling to the floor. Shawn escaped and began crawling on all fours away from Jaymi. But Jaymi grabbed a pants leg and tugged as Shawn moved away. Shawn wriggled her way out of her jeans and ran several steps before stopping suddenly.

  “What, am I crazy?” she exclaimed, as Jaymi held up her jeans, laughing. She tackled Jaymi and the tickling resumed until Shawn had succeeded in wrestling off Jaymi’s pants, as well as half her shirt. They sat giggling for a minute. Jaymi lunged at Shawn and yanked off her shirt and before long, both were completely undressed. They were soon making love again on the plush carpeted living room floor.

  “Do you think we can keep our hands off each other long enough for me to share my good news?” Jaymi finally asked afterward, as they were gathering clothes and redressing.

  Shawn grinned mischievously. “I hope not.”

  “You little devil, you.” Jaymi shook her head and stood. “In that case, I’d better go in the kitchen and find us something for supper. I’m starved.” She scooted past Shawn’s outstretched tackle attempt. “Have you eaten? Wait, don’t answer that, I’m talking about actual food.” She proceeded to throw a frozen pizza in the oven and fill her in on Passion Play’s new management team, as well as her pitch for Shawn. Conversation was animated throughout their meal, but Shawn grew quiet as they cleaned up.

  Jaymi, noticing the change in her demeanor, hooked her fingers through Shawn’s belt loops and pulled her close. “Hey,” she said softly. “You all right? I wasn’t out of line giving him your CD and stuff, was I?”

  “Oh no, Jaymi, uh-uh.” Shawn shook her head. “I’m psyched about it. Couldn’t be more grateful.”

  “If it’s about those flowers Randi sent you—”

  “I haven’t even been thinking about that. But I would’ve been happier if they were from you.”

  “Next time, they will be.” Jaymi kissed her lightly and smiled. “Come on. Tell me what’s bugging you.”

  “I don’t want to cause trouble with the band. Especially now. I mean, you guys have a manager and everything—”

  “Shawn, don’t worry. J&M knows you have your own act and your own agenda. If they decide to take you on, too, it won’t interfere with the band. If anything, it will help you get your own career off the ground.”

  Shawn let out a long breath and walked away. “It has nothing to do with that.” She went through the living room to the slider doors and looked out over the pasture. When she turned around, Jaymi was waiting patiently where she had left her but was now leaning forward on the island that separated the kitchen from the living room. Shawn walked back over and sat on a stool on the opposite side. “It’s Nikki. She hates me—”

  “She doesn’t hate you. She’s a pain in the ass with everyone I date. Don’t let her get to you.”

  “I don’t give a shit about how she treats me, Jaymi. It’s the way she disrespects you that I can’t stand. And today I found out…Forget I said anything.”

  Jaymi leaned toward her, her eyes searching. “What, Shawn?”

  “If I tell you this—and it’s really only a suspicion—you’re going to be pissed at Nikki, and what if you guys have another fight and she quits again and she’ll blame me and—”

  “Shawn, you’re rambling. I can handle Nikki. God knows I’ve been handling her for years. Why don’t you just tell me what’s going on?”

  Shawn deeply exhaled. “Mel didn’t put that bag of pot in my car. Nikki did.”

  Jaymi straightened. “Are you sure?” Shawn recounted her conversation with Mel earlier that day. “And you think Mel’s telling the truth?”

  Shawn nodded. “Nikki wants me out of the picture, Jaymi. I think she was trying to set me up.”

  Jaymi shook her head in disgust. Then her eyes widened. “So maybe it wasn’t a coincidence that Randi pulled me over. Maybe Nikki tipped her off, then it backfired when she found me driving. But, I don’t know, Randi seemed as surprised as I was when I opened the glove box and saw that bag in there. And I can’t see Randi going along with something like that.”

  “And what about the pass at me? You made a comment about Nikki putting her up to that.”

  “Now that wouldn’t surprise me so much. Although it was already obvious that Randi likes you. And we haven’t exactly been open about our relationship. It’s possible that she really didn’t know we’ve been dating.”

  “You don’t think Nikki might have given her a little push? I mean, look at the flowers she sent me—is that part of some master plan, too?”

  “No, I doubt it. Randi may be a womanizer, but she’s not an asshole. I think she really feels bad about what happened.”

  They were silent for a moment. Jaymi finally went to the fridge and poured herself a glass of water. Shawn turned down her offer for a drink, and then followed her into the living room. They sat together on the couch. It was Jaymi who broke the silence.

  “I don’t know what to do. I don’t understand why she always does this.”

  Shawn ran her hand through Jaymi’s hair. “I think I know why.”

  Jaymi looked at her, bewildered. “You do? Well, then would you please explain it to me, because I think I’ve hit my limit with her need to control my love life.”

  “Isn’t it obvious?”

  “She’s always been protective of me. When my mom got sick, it was Nikki who was there for me—especially after Peach and I had that fight about me moving back home. Nikki understood and was supportive. Nikki was there for me every day. And when I came home that night and found Peach had been with another woman…” Jaymi covered her face with her hands and began to sob. Shawn put her arm around her shoulder, but Jaymi pulled away and slid to the other end of the couch, tucking one leg under her as she
turned sideways to face Shawn.

  “Jaymi, God, I hate it when you cry. Peach didn’t deserve you. I hate to see you cry over her.”

  “But I’m not crying over Peach, don’t you understand? I’m crying because I don’t understand how my best friend can be so kind to me, yet be so cruel to want to deny my happiness.”

  “Because she loves you, Jaymi.”

  “I know she loves me. Sometimes it’s more of a love-hate relationship, you know, like Lennon and McCartney. One day we’re fighting like siblings, the next day we’re the best of friends, writing songs together—”

  “No, listen to me.” Shawn lowered her voice. “I know she loves you. But did it ever occur to you that the reason she doesn’t like you dating is because she’s also in love with you?”

  Jaymi’s head shot up and her fingers raked her hair as she rose and let out a frustrated growl. “Not you, too! God, I can’t go through this again.”

  Shawn’s heartbeat raced in terror. Oh shit, I’ve screwed this up already! “You did say that Peach thought that, too. But, Jaymi, I know you don’t have those kinds of feelings for her.”

  Jaymi was still pacing. “She used to insinuate all the time that there was something going on between me and Nikki. I’ve never had a romantic interest in Nikki. There was an innocent crush for a month or two—when we first met—but it was more of an infatuation because I envied her confidence onstage. And because I had just come out and I admired her courage to be openly gay. But it was never more than that.”

  “But that’s you.” Shawn spoke calmly. “What about Nikki’s feelings?”

  Jaymi shook her head forcefully. “She’s never given me any indication that she wants more than friendship and a working relationship. If she really wanted to be with me, she would have quit the band—”

  “Because of your no-office-romance rule?”