The Forgotten Recipe

by Amy Clipston

  Both Stephen and Jason had grown up in this shop, handing workers tools and, when they were old enough, assisting with the creation of the sheds. His uncle and father had inherited the business from their father, who now was retired and lived in the daadihaus on his uncle’s farm in Gordonville.

  Jason looked at the large clock on the wall above the door leading to the showroom, and he was relieved that it was noon. His stomach had been growling for nearly an hour, and he was ready for a break. He turned back to his brother, who raised his eyebrows as he pointed toward the clock. Stephen nodded and placed his hammer on the floor.

  “Are you hungry or something?” Stephen joked as he approached.

  Jason shrugged. “Ya, I am. I need a break too.”

  “Sounds gut to me,” Stephen said as they crossed the shop and entered the large break room.

  After washing their hands, they found their lunch pails and took their usual spot in the corner, farthest from the door. A line of employees filed into the room, and soon a hum of conversation filled the air. Jason glanced at the door, expecting Seth to walk in and take his usual spot at the table, next to Stephen. Even though it had been two months since the accident, Jason still found himself looking for Seth, who would burst into the room, ready to share another joke that was so stupid Jason couldn’t help but laugh.

  Seth had been a member of a different church district, so they hadn’t gone to school together, and they had also been members of different youth groups. But the two had instantly become friends when Seth started working there six months ago. Because they were the same age, Jason’s father asked him to train Seth, and the two fell into an easy conversation about their lives and families. Jason’s best friend, Peter, had recently moved away, and Jason didn’t have many close friends. He was grateful to forge a new friendship with Seth.

  Jason enjoyed hearing about Seth’s family, and especially about his girlfriend, Veronica. He’d known what she looked like and that she worked at the market in Philadelphia three days a week with her sister and friends. She loved to work in her garden and she enjoyed homemade pretzels. And Jason knew when Seth had proposed and how much his friend had worried that Veronica might say no. But she didn’t say no. They’d picked a date to be married, and he was excitedly counting down the days. Jason had never met Veronica or Seth’s mother and sister and had been looking forward to meeting them. He even wondered if Seth might ask him to stand up for him at the wedding.

  That all ended when Seth tumbled to the hard, concrete floor.

  Jason hadn’t stopped thinking about Veronica since the visitation at Margaret Lapp’s house. The sound of her sobs and the thud of Seth’s body hitting the floor both haunted him when he climbed into bed at night.

  “Jay?” Jason looked up to see Stephen watching him, holding his turkey sandwich in mid-air. “You’re in another world.”

  “Sorry.” Jason lifted a potato chip to his lips. “I was just thinking about Seth.”

  Stephen blew out a sigh. “I was thinking about him earlier too. I can’t get used to not seeing him here. It’s been two months, but it feels like it was only yesterday that the ambulance was parked out behind the shop.”

  He said just what I’d been thinking. Can my brother read my thoughts? Jason sipped his drink. Constant reminders surrounded him. Every time he heard the wail of an ambulance, he thought of that day. Each time he saw one of his coworkers perched up on the rafters, he stood beneath them, ready to catch them if they fell, even if another worker was there to spot them.

  “It’s not just Seth. I also can’t stop thinking about Veronica,” Jason admitted while running his fingers down his cool bottle of water. “I told you, I feel like I know her. Seth talked about her all the time. You have to remember the stories he told us.”

  Stephen raised an eyebrow. “But you’ve never even met her.”

  “True, but I’ve seen her. I know you remember her from the porch at the visitation at Seth’s mother’s haus.”

  Stephen shook his head. “You didn’t even talk to her. You figured out who she was because someone said her name. That’s not exactly the same thing as knowing someone.”

  “It wasn’t the most appropriate time to approach her and tell her I was there when Seth died, not when we had never even met. I’m not even sure how much Seth might have mentioned me to her.” He paused for a moment. “Do you think it would be all right if I went to visit Veronica?”

  Stephen furrowed his brow. “No. You shouldn’t go see her.”

  “Why not?”

  “Jay, that would be weird.” Stephen placed his sandwich on his napkin. “Think about this for a minute. Our freind died, and you’re thinking about his girlfriend. Let’s pretend you go see her out of the blue, tell her you feel like you know her because her deceased fiancé talked about her constantly, and you tell her you’re there because you think about her all the time. It’s just not done.”

  “Why not?” Jason challenged him. “She and I had a mutual freind. Isn’t that how people meet all the time?”

  Stephen sighed, sounding a bit exasperated. “Okay, let me put it to you this way. What if I were killed in an accident?”

  Jason shook his head. “Don’t even—”

  Stephen held up a finger to silence him, and Jason complied. “This is hypothetical, so hear me out.”

  “Fine,” Jason muttered with a frown before taking another sip of his water.

  “Let’s just pretend for argument’s sake that I’m killed in an accident. One of my freinden, let’s say Danny, was there when it happened. Danny can’t stop thinking about me and how sad Leah was at my funeral. He goes to see Leah to tell her how much he misses me too. He tells her he thinks about her constantly and worries about her. He wants to comfort her so they can both commiserate over my sudden death.” He paused for emphasis. “Doesn’t that sound a bit weird?”

  Jason huffed. He couldn’t stand it when his younger brother was right. “No, not really.”

  “I wouldn’t want someone else consoling my girlfriend, not even one of my close freinden.”

  “Are you saying you’d rather she suffer alone? Remember, you’re dead, right?”

  After taking the last bite of his sandwich, Stephen wiped his mouth. “Jason, she has family and her church district to support her, and probably freinden too. I still think it’s wrong. You don’t even know her.”

  But I’d like to know her. The thought caught him off guard. Was Stephen right? Was it inappropriate to want to meet Veronica?

  “You should come to youth group with Leah and me Sunday night,” Stephen said while pulling a storage bag full of Mamm’s homemade peanut butter cookies from his lunch bag. “Her schweschder has been asking about you. She tried to talk to you at church last week, and you ignored her. She told Leah she was really disappointed.”

  Jason stole a cookie from Stephen’s bag. “Mary tried to talk to me?” He didn’t remember seeing her at church or after the service.

  “You really didn’t notice her?” Stephen’s eyes were full of disbelief.

  “No, I didn’t. When did she talk to me?”

  “She told Leah she asked you how you were doing while she filled your kaffi cup, but you just turned and spoke to Dat.” Stephen shook his head. “Maybe you just didn’t hear her, but I get the feeling you’re so worried about Seth’s girlfriend that you haven’t even noticed the maed in our district.” He leaned forward and lowered his voice. “I miss Seth, too, but you have to move on. There was nothing you could do when he fell. Stop feeling like he died because you weren’t there. He knew you were stepping away; you told him you were. He shouldn’t have stayed up on the rafters like he was without someone nearby. He broke the rules, Jay.”

  Jason gripped his sandwich. His brother was wrong. Jason had no business going for water at all while his friend was sitting on the rafters. He should have made sure Seth had moved to a safer place or had come down to take a break with him.

  “After church on Sunday we’re
going to play volleyball,” Stephen continued. “You should come. Mary would enjoy your company.”

  “I’m too old,” Jason said quickly. “How old is Mary? Nineteen?”

  “No, she’s twenty.” Stephen rolled his eyes. “That’s only a four-year difference. What’s the big deal? Mamm and Dat are six years apart.”

  As usual, Stephen had a point, but Jason still wasn’t interested. “I’d be the oldest one at the youth group.”

  “No, you wouldn’t. You know we have some members around your age in our youth group. You’re not too old. Besides, Mary likes you. Why don’t you come and talk to her? Give her a chance. Age is only a number, right?”

  “Why are you so determined to set me up with Mary?” Jason regarded Stephen with suspicion.

  Stephen shrugged. “I think it’s time you dated. It’s been a long time since Arie broke up with you. It’s time for you to move on.”

  Where’s Dat when I need him? Jason glanced across the break room. He longed to change the subject. He didn’t want to discuss the girl who had broken off their engagement, shattering his spirit in the process.

  “Are you going to help me finish building the floor on that shed after lunch?”

  Jason’s shoulders relaxed. He could easily talk about work all day long. “Ya, I will.” He took another cookie.

  “Why didn’t you pack your own cookies?” Stephen asked. “The jar was on the counter.”

  “I don’t need to pack my own when you already packed enough for both of us.” Jason grinned.

  Dat appeared and sat down beside Stephen. “How is your day going? I haven’t had a chance to come back and check on you two.” Jason and Stephen had inherited their light-brown hair and brown eyes from their father. The gray threaded through his hair revealed he was growing older, closing in on fifty-five.

  “It’s been busy,” Stephen said, wiping his hands on a napkin. “The usual. Building sheds and getting splinters.”

  “Ya,” Jason agreed with a nod between bites of one of his mother’s delicious peanut butter cookies. “And you need to wear your work gloves.”

  “It’s going to get busier. We had four more orders this morning.” Dat unpacked his lunch, pulling out a sandwich, an apple, and a bag of cookies.

  “See?” Stephen pointed toward Dat’s bag of cookies. “Even Dat brought his own.”

  Jason shrugged and opened the bag. “More for me.”

  Dat chuckled. “Your mamm makes those kichlin for me. They’ve always been my favorite. In fact, she won my heart with those kichlin.”

  “I thought she made them for me.” Stephen feigned disappointment, wiping away invisible tears for dramatic effect. “Now I’ll cry myself to sleep tonight knowing I’m not Mamm’s favorite.”

  With a laugh, Jason shook his head and took a cookie from his father’s bag. He could count on his brother to lighten the mood, and he was thankful for that.

  JASON BOWED HIS HEAD IN SILENT PRAYER AFTER HE FINISHED eating that evening. Soon he heard his father push back his chair, the sign that the after-supper prayer was complete.

  Dat stood and kissed his mother’s cheek. “Supper was appeditlich as usual, Annie. The best meat loaf you’ve made so far.”

  Mamm smiled. “Danki, Elam.”

  Dat started toward the mudroom, then looked back toward Jason and Stephen. “Aren’t you buwe coming? Let’s go take care of the animals.”

  Stephen rose and stretched, thanked Mamm for supper, and followed Dat to the mudroom, where Jason knew they would pull on their work boots. Jason remained seated. He’d spent all afternoon considering his lunchtime conversation with his brother. Was Stephen right when he told Jason not to go see Veronica? Then why did Jason still think about her constantly? He couldn’t let go of the notion that he needed to see her—if not for her sake, then for his.

  He needed his mother’s advice, but he wanted to speak with her in private. Waiting until his brother and father went out to take care of the animals would be the best chance.

  Jason stood up slowly, placed another plate on top of his, piled on some utensils, then carried the stack toward the sink. His mother had filled one side of the sink with warm, frothy water and dropped in the dirty pots and pans.

  Stephen craned his long neck into the kitchen. “Are you coming, Jay?”

  “I’ll be there in a minute,” Jason promised before gathering up his parents’ plates and utensils and carrying them to the counter as well.

  “You can go with your bruder and dat,” Mamm said. “I’ll get that.”

  “I don’t mind helping.” Jason brought two platters and a bowl to the counter while he worked up the courage to ask his mother her opinion of his feelings for Veronica Fisher. Did he have feelings for her? Was this some misguided crush or obsession if he’d never even talked to her, just as Stephen had insinuated?

  Mamm faced him, leaning her slight body against the sink behind her. She was shorter than all the men in the family and still had no gray in her brown hair. As she crossed her arms over her black apron and smiled at Jason, he thought he saw a questioning look in her hazel eyes. “It’s not every day that you stay inside to help with dishes instead of going outside to take care of the animals.”

  Jason shrugged and gathered up the glasses. “Why should you do all of this alone?” He placed the glasses next to the plates.

  “Because it’s my job, that’s why.” Mamm touched his arm. “Is something wrong?” She looked up at him. “Jason, you were quiet during supper. I can tell there’s something on your mind. You can talk to me.”

  He hesitated, suddenly feeling ridiculous for wanting to discuss this with her. What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he let this go, like Stephen said he should?

  Mamm motioned toward the table. “Do you want to sit?”

  He nodded and sat down across from her. She gave him an encouraging smile, and he cleared his throat.

  “I can’t stop thinking about Seth and the accident.”

  “I understand.” She nodded and patted his hand. “You miss your freind.”

  “It’s not just that.” Jason pushed a crumb with his finger. “I also can’t stop worrying about Seth’s fiancée, Veronica.”

  “Oh.” Mamm’s expression transformed from concern to surprise. “You knew his fiancée?”

  “No, that’s the problem.” Jason paused, thinking about the visitation at Seth’s mother’s house. “Do you remember when we were leaving Seth’s mother’s house when we went to visitation?” “Ya.” Mamm shrugged.

  “You saw her. She was on the porch when we were leaving. She was crying, and her parents and sisters were consoling her.”

  Mamm nodded slowly, recognition flickering in her eyes. “Ya, I do remember. It was so tragic to see her grief. The poor maedel.”

  “Seth talked about her all the time. They were going to be married in November.” Jason rested his chin on the palm of his hand. “I feel like I need to go see her. I want to talk to her.”

  “I see.” Mamm studied him. “I can tell it means a lot to you.”

  “It does.” His shoulders relaxed. Mamm understood, just as he knew she would. “Do you think it would be okay if I went to see her?”

  “Why wouldn’t it?”

  “Stephen thinks it would be inappropriate for me to visit a freind’s fiancée.” He couldn’t bring himself to use the word weird as his brother had. “He said he wouldn’t want one of his freinden to see Leah if something had happened to him.”

  Mamm paused, considering this. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. You want to express your condolences, right?”

  “Ya, that’s right.” He nodded. “And I want to make sure she’s okay.”

  “I think that would be nice.” Mamm squeezed his hand. “I think Seth would appreciate it. You were gut freinden.”

  “Ya, we were. I keep expecting him to walk into the shop or sit down at the lunch table with Stephen and me. It’s been two months, but it feels like it was only yesterday t
hat he was joking around with us.”

  “It’s tough when you lose someone close to you. I still miss my schweschder, and she’s been gone nearly twenty years. The ache gets easier, but it takes time.”

  Jason nodded. “Danki, Mamm. I knew I could talk to you.” He pushed his chair back. “Would you like me to clean off the table?”

  “I can handle the kitchen. You go help your dat and bruder before they come looking for you.” She stood and waved him off.

  Jason walked to the mudroom, pulled on his work boots, and grabbed his hat before heading out the door toward the barn. His mother’s encouraging words resonated with him. Since he’d been close to Seth, he was only doing what any good friend would do. Now all he had to do was find out where Veronica Fisher lived.

  CHAPTER 3

  VERONICA AND HER SISTERS GATHERED AROUND THEIR father as he sat at the head of the table the following afternoon. She served him the first piece of raspberry pie and then held her breath as his fork sliced through the flaky crust. A sweet aroma permeated the kitchen as he raised the fork up to his mouth. Veronica gnawed her lower lip, hoping the pie would taste as good as it looked and smelled.

  “Mmmm.” Dat nodded his head and looked up at her. “Veronica, you’ve outdone yourself.” His gaze slid to Mamm. “I’m sorry, Mattie, but I think this pie is better than your mamm’s. It’s positively mouthwatering. I think I may keep this whole pie for myself.”

  Veronica blew out a breath while her sisters clapped. She did it! She found something she was good at other than cleaning.

  “I want a piece!” Emily announced, grabbing the knife.

  “Cut one for me,” Rachel insisted as she grabbed a plate and fork from the center of the table.

  Mamm draped her arm over Veronica’s shoulder. “I find it hard to believe that it’s better than my mamm’s, so I’ll have to see for myself.”

  Veronica smiled. “Let’s find out.”