Secrets (1985)

by Steel, Danielle

  I haven't been able to get through to you. I've been busy. He shrugged, looking at her breasts as though they were her eyes.

  I thought we ought to talk about things sometime, but' She hated to say it to him, but she wanted time to get dressed peacefully, before the girls came home. Tonight isn't such a great time.

  He looked at her suspiciously. Why not?

  She hated to tell him, but there was no reason now to lie to him. The cast dinner is tonight.

  What do you do? Try each other out and then see who does it best? His eyes glittered evilly, and she realized then that he was a little drunk. That was a new one with him, this business of drinking all the time. She hated dealing with him when he was drunk.

  It's just a dinner, that's all. Why don't I call you in the office tomorrow?

  What for? To tell me how it was? What do I care? I know what you're like' . He advanced on her and she took a step back, tripping over her shoes on the bathroom rug.

  Jack ' stop ' let's not start that again.

  We need to sit down and talk.

  I don't need to sit down with you. I don't sit down with tramps. The man was sick, and it was the first time she'd ever thought of it. His obsession with whores and tramps had gone too far finally.

  Why don't you just go now? She spoke quietly. There was no point talking to him. But he didn't want to go anywhere.

  Why? Expecting someone?

  Only your daughters. And I have to get dressed.

  Don't bother. I've seen it all before.

  Fine. Then why don't you just leave now?

  I want to stay and see the girls. He stood belligerently in front of her, his eyes hard with deeply etched lines on either side.

  You can see them some other time.

  You can't throw me out. This is still my house. It's still mine. He took a step toward her and she held her ground. And so are you. I can take you anytime I want.

  Let's not talk about things like that. She was suddenly afraid of him and she didn't like being alone with him. He was like a crazy man. And he had sensed her terror now. He took another step closer and grabbed her arms.

  It's true, you know ' I own you ' just like I always did ' my very own little cunt' . She hated it when he talked like that. She hated everything about him now, and wondered for how long she had. But just as she thought of it, he yanked her arms and pulled her into the other room toward the bed.

  Come on, Jack ' please'

  Please what? Please give it to you like I always did, you little tramp? That's all you ever were, just a piece of ass I kept around for the convenience of it ' I never cared about you, did you know that? ' did you, you bitch? She wondered why he hated her so much, as he slammed her onto the bed, and laid his full weight on top of her, pinning her down as he tore off her bra, and then forced down her pants. It was crazy, she had been married to him for twenty years and he was raping her. It didn't make any sense.

  Jack, stop! She was crying now, and she could hardly breathe he was so heavy on top of her, pushing at her breasts, as he unzipped his pants, and forced himself inside her. She wondered how he could always manage that. Maybe it excited him to know how unwilling she was. Please ' She was begging him and he was biting her, she could feel blood in her mouth as he bit her lip, and then moved backward to bite her breast until she felt a trickle of blood there too, and he was pushing into her, riding her, hurting her, and at the same time squeezing her breasts, and then suddenly with tremendous force he slapped her face, and started beating her, and all at once he was howling with ecstasy, coming at the same time. He pulled away from her roughly then, and looked down at her, sobbing on their blood-smeared bed. He stood back, zipped up his pants and sneered at her and the only word he said to her before he left was Whore. He left her crying on the bed, and she heard his car speed away, but she didn't care about anything anymore.

  Chapter 13

  Bill Warwick was the first to arrive, looking as handsome as Mel remembered him, but somber somehow, as though he had a great deal on his mind. He was perfectly groomed in his rented tux, and his blond hair looked like a golden crown, but there was something about his eyes that troubled Mel, as though he had seen the sorrows of the world. He made easy chitchat at the bar, asked for a Scotch on the rocks, and looked around with obvious awe. It was a beautiful house and Mel was happy there. It was tucked in high on a hill, looking out over Los Angeles, with a spectacular view and a huge living room with stone columns and stone floors. There were large modern paintings everywhere, a vast swimming pool just outside, and a formal dining room with a roof that could be electrically removed on warm nights, as it had been now.

  This is quite a place, Bill said admiringly, thinking of his own tiny retreat, and then thinking, just as quickly, of Sandy's visit only that night. He wondered where she had gone, where she was living ' who had given her the bruise and the scar ' it was all so ugly and so sad. He could hardly keep from crying as he talked to Mel and waited for the others to arrive.

  You're looking very serious tonight. Mel was a perceptive man, and his stars were always important to him. They meant a great deal to him, and everything to the show.

  Just excited I guess. Bill passed it off. Seems like there's an awful lot to think about these days. He smiled, and Mel thought of the millions of women who would fawn over this young man in a year when they went on the air.

  Zack Taylor arrived next, having driven himself in his open Rolls. He looked at ease and elegant and debonair, and very much at home. His own house was much larger than Mel's, and equally beautiful. They got into discussing gardeners, workmen, and contractors they had known, like old friends, as Bill stared at the view.

  Gabrielle came next, wearing a peach-colored chiffon dress that made her hair look like shining ebony as it hung down her back. Mel kissed her on the cheek when she arrived and escorted her down the steps, introducing her immediately to Zack, who stood nearby. They chatted for a moment about Greece, and how pleased they were about the show, and then Mel led her outside to meet Bill, who was standing admiring the view, and when he turned around, Mel was the first to see the look of sharp anguish in his eyes. Gabrielle looked much as Sandy would have, and had once before, when she was clean, only Gabby was much more beautiful, and infinitely more sophisticated and poised. But it was like a vision seeing her standing there, and it hurt him just looking into her eyes.

  Hello, Bill. Gabrielle smiled at him, her eyes warm, her face a perfect cameo, with uplifted nose, and huge green eyes, sweetly carved mouth, and everything about her so delicate and beautiful, and her breeding having endowed her with such poise. I gather we're going to be brother and sister on the show.

  He barely spoke to her, and answered her in monosyllables before going back inside for another Scotch. She seemed unaffected by the slight and went back inside to talk to Zack. They had a long chat about a hotel they'd both been to in the Dolomites, when finally Jane arrived. She stood for a moment, at the top of the stairs as Mel chatted with Bill, and Gabrielle was engrossed with Zack. Jane looked like an exquisite bird about to take flight, her exotic bright red hair was in sharp contrast to the white beaded dress, and the richness of her figure took one's breath away. But it was the expression in her eyes that made one stare at her, and Mel was once again taken with the inexplicable desire to put his arms around her and tell her everything would be all right. She looked frightened and sensual and beautiful, and it was almost an act of sex just looking at her, and at the same time, he felt sinful looking at her like that. And then slowly, hesitantly, she came down the stairs, looking for Mel, and there was such relief in her eyes as he came to her side. None of her earlier torments showed, except for an ugly bruise on her left breast, which she had treated with ice before covering it with the spectacular dress she had worried about so much.

  Her eyes were warm as she spoke to Gabrielle, almost as though she could have been a mother to her, and Mel congratulated himself silently for the choices he had made, and then she turned to
Zack, and he looked bowled over by her, almost too stunned to speak, and then he laughed at himself.

  That's quite a dress.

  Thank you ' She blushed. I was afraid ' I thought ' I wasn't sure '

  Mel gently put an arm around her. You look fabulous, Jane. Except I miss the black wig of course. They laughed and she felt more at ease, and he introduced her to Bill, and her warmth even brought him out of his shell a bit. And the group grew more comfortable, sitting on his large white couches, all of them drinking champagne, except Bill, and then the door opened again, and there was no question at all who was the star. Sabina slinked down the stairs in a gray satin dress with her blond mane framing her face, her eyes like those of a tigress on the prowl, and Mel's new diamond bracelet on her arm.

  Good evening, the voice purred and she looked slowly around the room, as Mel smiled. She was already taking the role to heart, but it wasn't even that. The role was made for her. She looked down at Zack and held out a hand as he smiled at her.

  Miss Quarles' He knew just how to handle her and they had met before.

  Hello, Zack. She turned to Bill. I don't believe we've met. I'm Sabina Quarles. She didn't need Mel for this, she was in full control, just as she always was, the entrance calculated, the dress perfect for the part, the eyes, the hair, the face. Jane felt like a bumpkin next to her and Gabrielle was fascinated. Sabina dismissed her with one glance, and then turned to Jane. So you are the sister I will love to hate. All five of them laughed, and Jane smiled nervously at her.

  I've admired your work very much.

  I'm afraid I don't know yours. She turned to Mel, dismissing Jane, and accepted a glass of champagne. Her eyes were warm, but they gave nothing away. She wasn't foolish enough to let the others know she was sleeping with him. That was too important to her, and she was onstage now, for all of them.

  They went in to dinner at exactly nine o'clock and he had seated them carefully. Sabina at his right, Jane at his left, next to Bill, Gabby beside him, and then Zack on Sabina's right. And Zack played the game expertly. He was charming to his co-star, but Mel noticed that he was watching Jane for most of the night. He seemed fascinated by her, and her glances were warm. She seemed the only one able to draw Bill out, and he ignored Gabrielle almost totally, as did most of them. Only Zack was polite enough to speak to her, whenever Sabina was chatting with Mel. It was an interesting group, and he was curious to know what Sabina would have to say about all of them. All in all, despite a few tensions that arose, the evening went admirably. They wound up drinking more champagne by the pool, as Sabina stood with the city like a glittering backdrop behind her, chatting with Zack, and occasionally watching Bill. She was barely polite to Gabrielle the few times they spoke, and Mel noticed that Gabby's attempts to talk to Bill were always rebuffed. Only Jane seemed able to talk easily with all of them. Despite her nervousness, her innately motherly way warmed each of them, except Sabina, who commented cattily about her dress, causing Jane to apologize for it again. But Zack rescued her that time, artfully and deftly, while complimenting Sabina on the handsome bracelet on her arm. She seemed pleased that he had noticed it, and Mel was amused. He liked watching the interactions between each of them, and it worked, the only thing he was sorry about was that he sensed Gabrielle was not going to have an easy time. She was the ingenue, the least proven member of the team, and like vicious children, they were going to make her pay for it. He was also not upset about the friction between Sabina and Jane. Jane would learn to cope with it in time, as she gained self confidence, and it would be good for the show to carry over a little of the story line that way. And Zack was enough of a gentleman to handle both of them. He wasn't quite as sure of Bill, but the boy could act, and that wasn't negligible. And whatever was bothering him would blow over eventually. Sabina seemed to like him, and that was important, and Jane liked everyone.

  It was after midnight when they left, and Sabina was the first to go. She had gotten Me's message just after dessert. He would meet her at her place after everyone was gone. And she showed no sign of it as she kissed him on the cheek, whispered something to Zack and laughed, smiled interestingly at Bill, nodded at Jane, and ignored Gabby totally. And then, with a sweep of silver fox covering the gray satin dress, she left in Mel's car, as had come. The star. It was fitting. The queen is always the first to leave. And the last to arrive. And she had done both to perfection.

  My God, she's fabulous, Jane whispered to Mel after she left. It's like watching royalty. He laughed. Sabina played her part well, poor Jane, she needed a lot of self-confidence.

  That's the whole idea. Don't worry. The viewers will be just as taken with you. There's something for everyone in this show. He smiled at all of them, and Gabrielle looked like a dark-haired angel standing near the pool. He wondered that Bill wasn't more taken with her. Had he been Warwick's age, but ' to each his own, he thought to himself.

  Zack was the next to leave, having offered both ladies a ride, but Mel had provided a limousine for each, so they were fine. They left on their own shortly after that, and Bill followed them, after shaking Mel's hand twice and thanking him for the opportunity to be on the show.

  Just relax and enjoy it, Bill. Is everything all right? He was worried about him, but Bill insisted that he was fine. And he slid into the Porsche he had bought with his first check from the show, and heaved a sigh of relief. It had been an interminable evening for him. All he had been able to think about was Sandy and how she had looked that night. And that damn girl on the show ' she looked so much like her ' it could have been Sandy in her place, going to New York with him, if she had been clean. Just thinking about what she'd done to herself depressed him again. They could have had everything.

  Jane leaned her head back on the seat of the limousine on the way home, thinking of all of them ' Sabina ' Zack ' Gabby ' Bill ' they were all such strong, interesting people, she wondered how she'd ever fit in with them. Her breast throbbed where Jack had torn her flesh, and she found herself thinking of Mel, and those kind eyes of his. He looked as though he had seen a lot of life, and she felt as though they could be friends. She wanted to be friends with all of them. She liked Gabby a lot, Bill ' and Zack was fabulous, but he'd probably fall madly in love with Sabina. God, she was incredible, that figure ' those eyes ' she closed her eyes as she thought of them, and when they reached Pasadena, and the driver opened the door for her, she was sound asleep in the back of the limousine.

  Chapter 14

  Well, what do you think of them? Mel sat back against her white couch, and looked pleased. It was one o'clock, he had paid the caterers and locked up when they left, and then he had driven himself to Linden Drive, where Sabina lived.

  They're quite a group. Sabina was stretched out on the couch in the gray satin dress, still looking as she had at his house, only a little more relaxed. Her eyes danced as she reviewed the cast, and Mel laughed as she told him what she thought.

  Poor Jane is a mouse. She laughed. And she'd better watch out, or I'll eat her alive ' grrrmmpphh ' She gently gobbled his neck and he laughed.

  Be nice to her. She's scared to death of you. He wagged a fatherly finger at her and Sabina laughed evilly.

  I know. My God, she's got some figure. How old is she?

  Thirty-nine.

  I wonder how much she paid for it. All that can't be real. What's she done up to now, anyway?

  Daytime soaps. She was on Our Secret Sorrows for ten years.

  Oh my God. Not one of those. She dismissed her with one hand. Bill Warwick is interesting. Wounded about something. A broken heart, I suspect. He's one of those brooding, passionate types, and probably very good in bed. Mel looked less than pleased and she tweaked his cheek as she laughed at him. Don't worry, little boys aren't my style. He's too young for me, but that little ingenue looks like she has the hots for him. She's hiding something. She said it with an instinct straight from her gut, but Mel shook his head. He was sure she was wrong. I doubt that very much.

  Tak
e my word for it. She is. I can tell. Maybe she's been sleeping with someone she shouldn't have. She glanced up at Mel and frowned. It better not be you, my friend.

  This time he laughed. I'm not into the nursery school set either, my dear.

  Good. And Zack Taylor is queer. Mel almost fell off the couch as he stared at her.

  You mean as in homosexual?

  Yes. She looked smug.

  Now there you're all wet.

  The hell I am.

  He's the hottest male lead in Hollywood, and I have never heard any rumors about him.

  She looked unimpressed. Then he's discreet. Believe me, I can tell. There's no chemistry there. No vibes. Nothing. He is polite, charming, and gay.

  Sabina, you are full of hot air.

  She laughed at him and shrugged. Maybe I am, but I'd lay you odds I'm not. He's just very careful about who knows.

  There's no such thing in this town. If he were, everyone would know.

  Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think I am. Not that she cared. She was happy with Mel. Happier than she'd been in years.

  I hope you're right about Bill. I was worried about him tonight. He looked like a volcano about to erupt, and I don't want problems on the set.

  Gabrielle will keep him in line. Either that or drive him nuts. Who is she anyway? She seems to have done an awful lot for a kid. She'd overheard her talking about trips, Europe, archaeology, Palm Beach '

  She's probably just showing off, or maybe you're right. Maybe she's been traveling with someone. He was amused at Sabina's analysis of everyone.

  Can she act?

  Would I have hired her if she couldn't act?

  No, my darling. She kissed him generously on the lips and they both forgot Gabrielle. Now what about me? she asked. How do I fit in all this?

  You're the star. They were all dazzled by you tonight. She loved hearing it and he didn't mind telling her. He was used to stars and the reassurance they needed constantly. Sabina needed less than most, but still' I thought they were all going to drop when you walked in.