Soul on the Street

by William Roache

  Suddenly, for no apparent reason, the room fell silent. Then, after a few seconds, the doctor walked in. He walked up to a chair and small table placed at the head of the room, looked around, smiled and started talking.

  His words were like drops of water in an oasis. Here were the things that I had waited all my life to hear. Whatever he said, I knew, I just knew, that he was speaking the truth.

  When he finished there was a group meditation. He started by asking us all to visualize a large circle of light around the whole room for protection, then to sit up straight, balance our breathing, concentrate on the centre of our brow and imagine it was a lovely day and we were sitting on a log in a forest clearing.

  There was a wonderfully peaceful silence for the next 20 minutes. Dr Maugham ended it by saying, ‘Has anyone anything to report?’ I wondered what he meant, but then the reports came flooding in. People described what they had seen or where they had been and every time the doctor would explain it to them. It was truly fascinating.

  Then he invited questions. There was not one he could not answer. Sometimes, though, he would tell the questioners something about themselves rather than answer the question directly. With one girl he was surprisingly severe, but she thanked him profusely when he had finished. With his abruptness Dr Maugham had shown her that there was no point in constantly falling away from the beliefs and coming back. Her erratic behaviour was her enemy.

  At the end of the meeting, his parting words were, ‘Enjoy yourselves.’

  I went home with a lot to think about. Things that he had said would suddenly pop into my mind and I felt great enjoyment in thinking about them. He was moving my understanding forward.

  Then came the dream that was to bind me to Dr Maugham for the rest of his days.

  Dr Maugham truly was a master. He was aware of things beyond the span of our finite minds. Whereas so many cult leaders just want your money, he just wanted you to grow, get out there in the world and do your thing, whatever that was. When he looked at someone, he saw their state of being. I had arrived in a pretty depraved state and once, after a few meetings with him, made the mistake of asking him a thoughtless question.

  ‘How are you?’ I said.

  He looked at me, then said levelly, ‘A lot better than you.’

  How right he was. In me he could see the effects of years of indulgence. I wasn’t too impressed at the time, of course, but looking back, it was just what I needed.

  ‘Your worth is what you are, not what you know.’

  Dr Maugham appeared at the right time for me. They do say that the master appears when the pupil is ready. You can’t go looking; it’s no good rushing around saying, ‘I want this and I want that and why haven’t I got a master?’ Whatever you need will be presented to you when you are ready. It might not be a master, it might come in some other form, but if you open yourself up to the idea and genuinely want to move forward, everything that you need will be given to you. Often you won’t realize it at the time, and I didn’t really, but now I know that’s how it works. When you’re ready, you will find whatever you need.

  ‘Truth is not acquired, but discovered.’

  When I met Dr Maugham I was ready to receive, and I got what I wanted. I just soaked it all up. I absorbed it all and have continued to do so ever since.

  I grew to love that man and, if he had allowed it, would have grown to depend on him. But he wanted everyone he taught to stand on their own two feet. He wanted us to work on our own selves and to move forward independently. Ultimately, he wanted us to realize our oneness with God. He wanted us to be masters.

  So many cults have a personality at the head and try to draw people in. Here there was none of that. No money was asked for, though you did have to have commitment. If you didn’t keep up to the mark, you would be asked to leave. Dr Maughan was a no-nonsense teacher, but it was clear that he wanted the best for us – he wanted us to get up to his standard and go beyond it.

  Until I met him I had no spiritual focus whatsoever. I had been to the meeting at the Spiritualist church and witnessed something that intrigued me, but not taken it further. I had read my daily horoscope, but had never learned any more about astrology. I had seen the strange figure and the blue Buddha at Rutland House, but not even told anyone about them. I had experienced the spirit communication in the Islington house, but been frightened by it. Whenever anyone had a tale to tell about something out of the ordinary, I was interested in it, but there was no focus to my enquiries, no direction, and I still thought that the Church was the authority on spiritual matters, even though its answers didn’t satisfy me. My own life didn’t satisfy me either. I was ready to listen to the doctor and to study under him. I was ready to learn. It was a great turning point in my life.

  I studied under the doctor until his death some four years later. He would hold public meetings, which were always packed out, and then we would be broken down into groups for further study. I started off in a group of about ten people, then one or two dropped out. We were all fairly similar; there might have been differences in education and background, but there was definitely a strong sense of togetherness, a tremendous fellow feeling. We were all at the same level on the same search, on the steep path of self-evolvement. It was wonderful to know that I wasn’t alone. Furthermore, I was not handicapped by being a celebrity; in fact, I was pitied for it because the others knew that I had extra work to do on getting rid of the ego that holds us back spiritually. At one stage I even considered giving up my job for that very reason.

  ‘Put all wishes aside save the one desire to know the truth. Then act upon it immediately it is revealed.’

  Although we were in groups, the focus was more on individual evolvement than learning as a group or learning from the group. It was all very much about personal understanding and personal responsibility. There was no rigid scheme of learning and no qualifications. All Dr Maugham did, in fact, was open us up to the truth that we are all eternal beings. He explained that the whole point of being here is to develop spiritually and then to be of service to others, to help others as best you can. Basically, that’s all it was. It was wonderfully simple.

  I have had one contact with him since he passed. I don’t normally go to mediums but on one occasion both my wife Sara and I went to see one and she told me she had a very strong person coming through from the other side who said, ‘Who’s wearing the trousers in your house?’ I knew not only that it was Dr Maugham but also what he was referring to: Sara is a very strong person – exactly what I always needed.

  For Dr Maugham, coming back like that would have been a sacrifice. For high spiritual beings to re-enter lower vibrations isn’t pleasant. The great ones – just like all of us – are constantly moving onwards and upwards, so their return always marks a great sacrifice. Jesus Christ was the ultimate example of this; he was a master who decided to come back to teach us to love one another. He was the greatest and most highly evolved being ever to make the ultimate sacrifice to reincarnate. He’s still up there, going ever higher. He still cares about humanity on Earth and he’s walking the spiritual realms as we speak, very much a living being.

  ‘We are all gods in the making.’

  Dr Maugham was head of the Ancient Order of Druids, an ancient esoteric school, but their fundamental teaching has always been to search for the truth, so although the Druid Order was an initial focus for me, it was really just the beginning. It introduced me to many new ideas, but it also taught me to go out and look at other schools like Hinduism, Buddhism and Theosophy. The trouble was that the media picked up on the druidry and got pictures of me going round Stonehenge and that was it: ‘He’s a druid!’ I was pigeonholed and that can be a great disadvantage because if you say you are anything some people will not like what you are. This was the other side of fame – you could be subject to intense media scrutiny at times and it wasn’t pleasant. People would also tend to label you, not always accurately, and I find that labels are counterproductive – in fact ac
tually harmful, because when people put you in a category they restrict you and some will judge you or dislike you for it.

  Ironically, the whole point of the druid philosophy is to search for the truth in your own way. You’re not indoctrinated when you’re studying with them; in fact, you’re taught to break down your opinions and have a good old look at everything. They will present you with certain ideas, but if you don’t like what they’re teaching, that’s fine, you just leave it. And then off you go, on your own, and start to plough your own furrow and follow your own interests and instincts. That’s what happened to me. I don’t subscribe to any religion or philosophy. I’m not part of any cult. I’m just searching for the truth.

  That sounds simple, but it is the hardest thing of all, because to do it properly you have to examine your opinions, your beliefs, your assumptions – everything you’ve been brought up with. You have to lay everything on the ground, open yourself up and virtually start again. But I was very fortunate in that I had Dr Maugham to help me do it.

  I know very little of his background. Nobody knew anything, really. We didn’t need to know. I didn’t need to know. It was irrelevant. We knew he was a master by what he said to us. I never heard him say anything that was not totally true. And in his company you yourself always had to be frank and truthful. He would know if you weren’t. He never became angry, but I did witness him lashing someone with the tongue of severity because it was needed.

  Although he was our teacher, it wasn’t like a traditional school at all. The trouble with schools is that they are like sausage machines, injecting information into people and then throwing them out. What they should do is to take each individual and look at them and develop their particular aptitudes, skills and interests. Dr Maugham did this with each one of us. I remember going to him once with a problem and he said, ‘Just forget everything. Now instinctively, what do you feel you want to do? What insight comes to you?’ And suddenly I realized I could answer my own questions. So I learned that if you can pose a question correctly, you’ve usually arrived at the answer. Of course, the trick is posing the question!

  One way of doing this is through meditation. That was one of the first things Dr Maugham taught us. Meditation is essential to spiritual development. It can also help with all other aspects of life. At the lowest level it can reduce stress, anxiety, tension and worry. At the highest level it enables you to tune in to your soul. The main purpose of meditation is to quieten the mental, emotional and physical aspects of oneself, thus allowing a greater contact with the higher, or spiritual, self.

  ‘Meditation is the clarifier of a beclouded mind.’

  There are some golden rules for meditation. It is important to find a quiet place where you feel calm and peaceful and are safe from interruption. This place will become even more calm and peaceful as you progress because it will take on the aura of your meditation.

  Then you must find that all-important chair. It must be comfortable yet firm and upright and your feet must touch the floor without any undue pressure under the knees. Some time and thought need to be taken over these first two steps.

  Then select a time of day. If it is possible, try to make it the same time each day. The more this becomes a set routine, the better. If your lifestyle will not allow this (mine rarely does), don’t despair. Just finding a little time to sit quietly, wherever you are, will still be good.

  Having found the place, chair and time, the next stage is to prepare yourself. As you walk into the room, leave all thoughts of daily life outside the door. You can pick them up later.

  ‘Enter into thine inner chamber and shut the door.’

  The first requirement in meditation is discipline of the mind, emotions and body. This will take time. It can be very frustrating at the beginning, but you must guard against impatience. Do not expect immediate results, but keep at it and you will have the most glorious reward. Initially 20 minutes is enough time, or even less.

  Sit upright with your feet squarely on the floor and your hands resting gently on your legs. Ensure that you have no tight clothing and nothing is restricting the body. Spend some time making sure you are comfortable. This is the first of the disciplines – keeping the body relaxed but alert.

  Now imagine that your consciousness is residing in the centre of your brow. Hindus often have a mark in this area. Sit quietly and concentrate your thoughts on the brow’s centre.

  Now balance your breathing. Make sure it is even – not too deep or too long. Breathe in for the same length of time as you breathe out. Imagine waves on the seashore gently coming in and then going out.

  You are now meditating.

  If any distracting thoughts come, let them come in and then go back out. You will find that the body will try to distract you with physical discomfort and the mind will keep wanting to think about a whole variety of things. All sorts of emotions will start playing tricks with you. Keep at it! Don’t let anything deflect you from your purpose. Each session will get better as you learn to recognize where the distraction is coming from and then deal with it. There’s no need to be impatient. Impatience is itself a distraction.

  As you begin to get control, you can introduce some exercises. Think of a circle of light around you like a big hoola-hoop. Keep it going in an anti-clockwise direction. Make it bright and build it so that it stays with you. This will give you protection.

  If any other lights or visions appear, just observe them. You may see some startling things, but simply be detached and observe. Don’t be afraid, particularly if your circle of light is shining. You can ask for help and protection, but always try to remain the observer. Once you are quiet and stand back, your higher self, or soul, can come in and communicate with you.

  When you are sufficiently in control you can start to visualize places. You might like to imagine you are in a beautiful country place that you know or somewhere by the sea. Try to visualize it accurately and place yourself there. You may see someone else there, someone perhaps you can talk to. But don’t be disappointed if nothing happens. Don’t have any expectations, just observe.

  When I first started meditating, it was very frustrating. I was amazed to find how angry I felt. I didn’t think I was angry, but an anger would come. I was angry with myself – annoyed by my inability to be totally calm and peaceful and controlled. I thought I should be able to be like that, but I was restless. But after a while I would get to the point where I could calm down and I would feel very peaceful. Sometimes I’d meditate for about two hours. I found it was a great help to me, especially when it made me realise that there was some irritation and a bit of anger there.

  Some people think meditation is sitting down and thinking about something, taking a subject – the meaning of life, or God, or whatever – and thinking about that. I never meditated with a project, as it were, or a thought to develop. I just wanted to surrender the lower self and let the higher come in.

  We started off meditating in small groups. But the most important meditations were always the ones that we did on our own.

  When I first started meditating I used to think that with the correct technique I could achieve instant enlightenment by raising the kundalini, the life force that is based at the bottom of the spine. When this force is raised it travels up through the chakras, the seven sacred energy centres, and eventually connects the pituitary and pineal glands and brings you to a higher level of consciousness. It has tremendous power and can only be raised when you are able to control it and are ready for the subsequent contact with the higher source.

  I tried desperately to raise this force on one occasion. It resulted in a blinding flash in my head and I passed out. I was unconscious for some minutes. I did not try it again, but since then have worked steadily to get myself to a state of preparedness when it will happen naturally and easily.

  Spiritual development is a slow process and you can only move forward when you’re ready. You can’t just sit down and decide to make great advances through meditation, however
intensely you try that. You can’t do it through effort of will. It took me a while to find that out. Eventually I realized you enlighten yourself by becoming a better person, an enlightened person.

  Meditation is of course an important part of this process, because it is basically a way to relax and let the higher self come in and inspire you. It might not come during the meditation but later, when you’re doing other things. That’s fine.

  ‘It is through your own soul that the voice of God speaks to you.’

  Ultimately, the aim is to be meditating at some level all the time, whether you’re doing the washing up or are out walking or whatever. That way, at any given moment you will be able to go into a more intense state of deep inner peace. You will also have a continual connection to your higher self and access to great wisdom.

  After a while I did feel that I was making progress with this. I would have phases of meditating very deeply and really feeling that I was benefiting from it. And then for some reason it would stop and I wouldn’t meditate at all for quite a while. Then I’d come back to it and sometimes I’d find that unconsciously it had carried on and I had improved. But at other times I’d feel all the old irritation again and be upset that I wasn’t getting anywhere.

  I realized that it was very easy to be swept along by day-to-day things and get caught up in all the hurly-burly of life and lose any inner tranquillity that I had achieved. When I first started meditating, there was quite a lot of turbulence in my life. Whenever there was a crisis it would be harder to meditate, but I knew the importance of it during those times, so I made a greater effort to do so and I think I did get more benefit from it then.

  If ever you have gone through a period of not meditating and feel you’ve fallen right back, look at where you’ve fallen back to and where you used to fall back to in the past and you will see that you have progressed. Life always moves forward. The life force itself is a progressive thing and we are part of that. We cannot stand still – whether we want to or not. So even if you think you’re not moving forward, you are. Even when you think you’re standing still, life is nudging you forward.