My Name Is Not Alexa Pearce

by Kerri McLoone

  She’s spending too much time with Milo, I laugh to myself. They are even adopting each other’s mannerisms.

  “No, this isn’t a hot chocolate,” I answer her. “This is a double pup-cup for Milo that I promised I would bring him because we didn’t have time this morning on our walk to get one. He made it very clear that that wasn’t going to fly when he plopped himself down and wouldn’t budge until I said I’d bring him home a double tonight.”

  Cali shapes her mouth into an O and cracks up. “Dog Man is a bit of a diva!”

  “Uh-huh. And I wonder where he’s learning it from?” I give her a soft elbow jab in the side.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Cali deadpans.

  “Sure,” I drawl.

  Matt laughs at the little performance between us then gets up and heads to the men’s locker room, presumably to change into his own workout gear.

  Mickey finishes up the class she was teaching and the group applauds having made it through. Cali and I are still sitting on the floor talking when she comes over.

  “Hey, Lex,” she says wiping her brow with a towel.

  “Hey, Mick,” I respond standing myself up. “Listen, your girlfriend here forgot my bag, so is it okay if I borrow some clothes and sneakers from your extras in your office?”

  Mickey chuckles and says to Cali, “I thought you had her bag.”

  “I did! I had it in front of me, I saw it there. I just forgot to actually bring it with me.” Cali shrugs from her spot on the floor.

  Mickey turns to me. “The extras are in the metal cabinet next to the mini-fridge.”

  “Thanks. Okay if I put this in the fridge, too?”

  “Of course, but I think your hot chocolate will taste weird after sitting for too long.”

  “Oh, it’s not hot chocolate. Cali can fill you in.”

  We look down at Cali still sitting on the floor. She’s got a guilty look on her face and is biting her lip. I roll my eyes and laugh then make my way toward Mickey’s office to grab a t-shirt, sports bra, socks, and sneakers.

  Good thing Mickey and I wear the same size, I think. I pick up a pair of shorts, Good thing I shaved my legs the other day, too.

  **********

  Mickey stands at the head of the room just in front of a wall of mirrors. Above her mounted in brackets are two large speakers in either corner; dead center is a large digital clock controlled by Mickey’s watch.

  She greets her class. Besides Matt, Cali, and myself, twelve other men and women are in tonight’s class. Most of them are around my age, but there are two badass ladies who look they are in their mid fifties but proudly boast being seventy-two and seventy-three respectively.

  Each of us are standing at stations that are evenly spaced out. At our feet we each have a yoga mat laid flat, boxing gloves, sparring pads, a towel, and a jump rope. On the mirror at dead center on the wall, Mickey has written in a paint pen what’s on tap for tonight’s class. She reads it out to us before we get started.

  “Okay guys, here’s what’s on for tonight. We’ll start with a warmup of jumping jacks, burpees, butt kicks, and jumping lunges. Thirty seconds each for a total of two minutes.

  “Then we’ll move right into our strength circuit. Thirty slow push-ups, a sixty-second plank, then thirty slow squats. We’re gonna do that twice, total of six minutes.

  “Round three is cardio. Sixty-second jump rope, thirty-second air punches, thirty-second burpees, thirty-second air punches. That happens twice, total of five minutes.

  “After that, the real fun starts.” Mickey pauses her speech with a devilish smile. I hear the group around me let out a nervous laugh. “I’ll demo the kickboxing sequences and then you’ll pair off.

  “Remember, if you need to, take a five- or ten-second break and then jump back into it. If it’s too intense you can reign it in, don’t go as deep into the movement. Try and keep up as much as possible, but if anything hurts or doesn’t feel right, stop immediately.

  “Everybody ready?”

  She gets a resounding cheer from us. Mickey hits play on her stereo. Loud, thumping dance music blares from the speakers filling the room with sound. She holds up her wrist ready to start the clock. The class around me, myself included, are each bouncing lightly on the balls of our feet.

  Mickey counts down, “Three, two, one, go!”

  Mickey’s classes are no joke. She typically likes to combine a bunch of styles together, especially the advanced one that we’re taking tonight.

  We’re less than fifteen minutes into the forty-minute class, and my legs and lungs are already burning. My heart rate is up, my body is coated in a sheen of sweat, and my breathing is heavy. The room is pulsing with the music flowing from the wall-mounted speakers. Mickey’s normally soft and gentle voice rings out over the music calling out the next item loud and commanding. The class follows along in complete synchronization.

  With the warmup, strength, and cardio circuits done, Mickey pauses the music and tells us all to catch our breath, get some water if we need it. She then calls Matt up to the front to hold the pads while Mickey demonstrates the sequence she wants us to follow.

  “Okay, we’re going to start with a jab, jab, cross, jab, knee. We’re going to put our non-dominant foot in front, so for the righties it’s left foot slightly forward. You’re going to face your partner at more of a diagonal than head-on. Jab with your non-dominant hand, cross and knee with dominant. Matt and I will show it once slowly, and then we’re all going to do it.”

  I watch as Mickey jabs twice with her left hand, crosses with her right. She displays the next jab and then puts both of her hands on Matt’s shoulders, moves her body weight onto her left leg and brings her right knee up into the part of the pad at Matt’s navel. She calls out each movement as she does it.

  How is she not even out of breath? I’m dying over here, I pant. Even my thoughts are breathing heavy!

  “Five times with your non-dominant foot forward, then switch your stance and another five. Then switch with your partner.” We all bend down to pick up our pads and gloves. I see Cali pick up her gloves, so I grab the pad.

  “Remember,” Mickey continues, “when you’re holding the pad try to keep your core engaged and your feet shoulder width apart one slightly in front of the other. No injuries tonight, people.”

  I get myself set up as I watch Cali check her stance, right foot forward, and ready herself. I hear the music come back on and Mickey’s voice over it.

  “Okay, here we go! Jab! Jab! Cross! Jab! Knee!”

  Cali grunts with each hit as Mickey continues calling out the moves at the front of the class. I take a quick peek and see that Mickey’s concentrating on her form and keeping her tempo steady.

  “Do you think... she’ll be able... to ask Matt... about anything?” I time my words between the thumps on the pad from Cali’s strikes.

  “What?” Cali doesn’t pause for a moment, just keeps connecting her gloves to the pad before bringing up her knee.

  “Do you think... she’ll be able... to ask Matt about... anything?” I ask again absorbing the blows.

  “Switch your stance!” Mickey calls out. “Dominant foot forward and dominant hand jabs.”

  Cali looks down at her feet and does a couple quick air jabs before getting ready again. She glances over at Mickey and smiles. I look over and see Mickey wink at us.

  “Yeah, I think she’ll find time to talk to him,” Cali says to me with a smirk.

  I let out a heavy exhale and get ready for the next set. “Trust us,” Cali breathes out. “We gotchu.” A broad smile spreads across Cali’s face.

  I hear Mickey yell in the background, “And, go!”

  ● 18 ●

  I’m toweling off and chugging a bottle of water trying to bring my heart rate back down and trying to be as discreet as possible watching Mickey and Matt chatting after class finished.

  “Stop it,” Cali hisses next to me.

  I turn my head quickly toward her
. “Stop what?”

  “Staring,” she says. “You’re practically ogling the guy.”

  I scoff, “I am not.” I look back at the two. “Do you think she’s talking to him about me?”

  Cali laughs, “Oh my god, Lex. You’re smitten with Moose!”

  “Shhh!! They are literally right there.”

  Jesus, Cali. I roll my eyes in exasperation. I return my attention to Matt and Mickey. What if he’s telling her that we’re just buds and he really isn’t interested in me romantically? But if that’s the case, then what happened at lunch today? We definitely almost kissed! Right? This teenage-like insecurity is driving me nuts. I bite my lip as my brain runs through the possible options of what’s being said.

  “Lex,” Cali puts her hand on my arm and moves to block my view. “Trust Mickey, she’ll figure it out for sure. But I say Moose is definitely into you. I’ve known the guy forever, and I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. Seriously, trust me.”

  I smile and duck my head, and answer with a breathy, “Thanks.” But inside my head is a different story. Trust them. That’s at least the third time in two days I’ve heard that, but can I really, truly trust them? All of them? Cali, Mickey, and Matt?

  I’m knocked out of my thoughts by Cali poking a sharp elbow into my side. I blink a few times to clear my mind and see Mickey and Matt walking toward my roommate and myself. They look happy, they’re laughing. Maybe that’s a good sign. Maybe we should all go out for a drink, I bet Cali would go for that. Oh, the bet!

  As Mickey and Matt reach us, I turn to Cali and ask, “Oh, by the way, what game were you playing on your phone before class?” I catch Matt’s eye and raise my eyebrow, he smirks back at me.

  “Oh my god,” Cali gushes excitedly. “It’s this brand new app I found, I don’t remember the name but, you have a board with nuts and leaves and twigs and berries and stuff. You have like twenty moves or whatever to get the three nuts in a row, and when you do a squirrel comes across the screen and eats them! The point is to fatten the little guy up for winter.”

  “Man, you are really taking this whole squirrel thing to the max,” Matt chimes in.

  Cali crosses her arms and says, “Need I remind you, Moose, that you are currently wearing Bullwinkle socks?”

  Matt looks down at his socks and goes, “Oh, hey, look at that.” The three of us all laugh at his concession while he just shrugs.

  “So,” Mickey cuts in. “It’s Friday night, classes are done, and Jack is staying ‘til closing to lock up the gym for me.” She looks at each of us before adding, “Kris’s?”

  Kris’s Tavern is one of the local bars near my apartment. It’s housed in what used to be a bank, and still has the giant metal vault complete with the huge round door which they use now for private parties. It’s more of a sports bar, but there is sometimes live music, darts tournaments, and the bartenders know their regulars.

  “That sounds like a great idea!” Cali exclaims. “We should all go home and shower then meet at our apartment, right Lex?”

  She turns to me, so I nod. “Definitely.”

  Mickey puts her arm around Cali who tucks into her girlfriend’s side. She turns her head to her left and says, “Matt?” A silent look passes between the two, but it’s gone before I can decipher what it could mean.

  Matt looks at us three girls and smiles. “Absolutely.”

  “Good then it’s settled,” Cali says, taking charge and stepping out of Mickey’s embrace. “Babe, you go home and shower and change because you’re kinda stinky.”

  “Like you’re a spring meadow,” Mickey retorts, crossing her arms.

  Cali ignores Mickey and turns to her best friend, “Same for you Moose.”

  Matt snaps to attention and salutes her. “Aye-aye Captain Squirrel.”

  Cali turns to address me but pauses and directs her attention back to Matt. “Captain Squirrel. I like it! Well done Major Moose,” she throws up a salute of her own.

  “As I was saying, Lex and I will go home, walk Dog Man and get ready ourselves. You two meet us there in like, what, an hour? Then we can all go to Kris’s together. I’m excited, this is going to be fun! Who’s ready for an awesome night?”

  The rest of us just shrug and reply at the same time with minimally enthusiastic “yeah,” “sure,” and “sounds good.” Frustrated, Cali tries again.

  “You don’t sound very excited people. I said, who’s ready for an awesome night!?”

  We all look at each other before offering Cali the same response of shrugs and “yeah, sure, sounds good.”

  “That’s the spirit!” Cali laughs.

  I laugh at Cali’s antics as I go to Mickey’s office to pick up my clothes and bag. I’m about to leave the room when I remember Milo’s pup-cup in the fridge and turn back for it. I come out of Mickey’s office at the same time that Matt exits the men’s locker room.

  “So I guess I owe you five bucks then,” he says.

  “Why don’t you buy me a drink at Kris’s and we’ll call it even.”

  “Definitely.”

  Cali and Mickey are just waiting for us near the door. Once we reach them, we all leave Mickey’s studio together.

  Matt flags a taxi for himself and Mickey since they live roughly in the same neighborhood. He waits to get in while Mickey and Cali kiss goodbye. Matt looks over at me with an expression I can’t quite read. Is that longing? Apprehension? Both?? I don’t know!

  I pull my eyes from the gorgeous man in front of me and look to the couple still saying goodbye. A Cali and Mickey kiss is never just a peck, it is always deliberate and with meaning. I clear my throat to get their attention, but it doesn’t work. I try again. Finally, the cabbie honks his horn. It startles the two women from their embrace.

  Matt steps away from the car and guides Mickey into the cab, saying, “Okay, you’ll see her in an hour, let’s go.”

  I laugh and turn to my roommate, “Jesus, Cali. If that’s how you say goodbye when you’ll see her again in sixty minutes, what will you do if you have to leave town or something?”

  Cali gives me a devilish smile and wiggles her eyebrows. “Well,” she begins.

  I cut her off laughing, “Scratch that. I don’t want to know.”

  **********

  I can hear Milo’s tags jingling and his nails clicking on the floor as I put the key in to unlock the door. As I open it and step into the apartment, he’s standing right there, tail wagging a mile a minute, little black paws stomping in place.

  “Dog Man!” Cali shrieks coming in behind me.

  Milo’s excitement spikes and he spins in two tight circles. He jumps up on his hind legs with his paws landing on Cali’s chest. He licks her face while she scratches his floppy ears.

  “Oh, he’s such a good boy! Such a good puppy!” Cali continues saying sweet nothings in her baby voice saved especially for dogs while I close and lock the door.

  Milo gets down off of Cali and comes to me, tail still swiftly wagging, and sticks his head in between my knees. He lightly presses some of his body weight into me and I get the same welcoming feeling that comes every time he does this: I’m safe. He sits down and pulls his head back to look up at me.

  I squat down to his level and scratch under his chin. “You are a good boy,” I say quite seriously, giving Milo a strong hug. “In fact, I believe I promised to bring this good boy something.”

  Milo’s normally floppy ears perk up as straight as they can go. He stays seated, but his tail sways quickly across the hardwood floor. As I produce the pup-cup from my shoulder bag, Milo starts stomping his front paws again but doesn’t get up. I take off the to-go cover and hold the cup just out of his reach.

  “A double pup-cup,” I say. “As promised.” I sit down on the floor with my legs out straight, and Milo lays down in between them. My dog leans forward to sniff the cup even though I’m sure he knows exactly what it is. “Take it nice,” I tell him.

  My big, silly, ferocious, furry, sweet, p
rotective, loyal dog crawls a few inches closer to me to put his black snout into the cup and lap up the whipped cream. I count to ten in my head and pull the cup away so he doesn’t eat the whole thing at once. Milo’s nose comes out bright white, and he has dabs of white on his whiskers.

  “Okay, big guy, that’s enough for now,” I say standing up. I go into the kitchen and put the cup on the counter. I turn around from the counter as I ask Cali, “Do you want to come with me—” I stop because there is no Cali in the living room.

  “Cal?” I call out.

  “In my room!” I hear from the back of the apartment. I walk through the main room to the small hallway with the doors to each bedroom and the bathroom. I reach Cali’s door, it’s mostly open but I knock anyway.