My Name Is Not Alexa Pearce

by Kerri McLoone

  “Awww! Oh my god, Lex and Moose!”

  “Shh!” Mickey puts a finger to her lips to quiet the smaller woman.

  “Oh, right.” Cali covers her mouth with her free hand, but her excitement is still evident by the glint in her eyes. Mickey unclasps their hands and puts her arm around Cali’s shoulder.

  “He actually seemed pretty nervous about it,” Mickey continues in a hushed voice. “He even asked if I thought she’d say no. What’s with those two? They clearly really like each other but both of them are so nervous that the other one doesn’t.”

  “I don’t know, but maybe some alcohol will help them get over it,” Cali says sending a devilish grin in her girlfriend’s direction.

  “Uh-oh. What does that mean?”

  Cali just covers her mouth again and shakes her head.

  “Cali,” Mickey tries again. “Don’t get in the middle of it.” Cali lowers her hand, but her expression hasn’t changed. “Just let them do what they’re gonna do.”

  “Okay,” Cali concedes. “Or...” She takes in a deep breath and Mickey can tell she’s ready to yell something. Mickey takes her own hand and quickly covers the shorter woman’s mouth with it. Cali promptly licks her palm.

  Mickey stops walking and uses the arm still around Cali’s shoulders to pull her in as close as she can, leaving her hand in place over the other woman’s mouth. She puts her lips up to Cali’s ear and says, “I’ve felt your tongue on every inch of my body. Do you think I care if you lick my palm?”

  Cali slowly shakes her head no. Mickey removes her hand.

  “Well,” she whispers quietly to the brunette still holding her close, “would you care if when we got to the bar I pulled you into a dark corner, got down on my knees right there and licked you from sl—”

  “Hey, why’d you guys stop walking?” Matt’s voice right behind them jolts the couple from their sidewalk moment.

  “Oh, uh,” Mickey clears her throat. “We, uh—”

  “I was just telling her what I want to do to her and she got a little weak in the knees, so we had to stop for a second.”

  “Cali!” Mickey cries.

  “What? He asked.”

  “And he wishes he hadn’t,” Matt sighs. He chuckles and uses his left hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. Cali sees that his right hand is still holding Alexa’s but before she can say something about it, a pinch on her elbow and a look from Mickey silences her.

  Instead, she says, “Come on, Moose. The bar is right around the corner. Loser has to buy the other two shots. Ready? Go!” Cali takes off as fast as her heeled boots will allow.

  “I’m not racing you, Squirrel!” Matt calls after her. When she turns around to jog backward and gives him the finger as she rounds the corner, she sees him let go of Alexa’s hand and take off after her.

  Matt and Cali reach the front door of the bar at the exact same time, yet Cali immediately throws her arms in the air and declares herself the winner.

  “No way!” Matt argues. “You cheated and I still got here first. So, I win.”

  “You do not!” Cali maintains. She turns to the bouncer sitting on a stool at the side of the door. “Jorge,” she huffs and crosses her arms. “Who won?”

  Matt turns his attention to the man, “Ignore her, please.” He turns back to his short friend and says, “Because you so did not win.”

  “Alright, that’s enough children!” Alexa’s voice cuts through their juvenile arguments. “Let’s just go inside and have a good time, yeah?”

  They each take out their IDs and one by one go inside. They stand just inside the entrance putting their licenses away. As the door is closing behind them, they hear Jorge say, “Matt won.”

  “What?!” Cali cries.

  Matt raises his arms straight in the air and throws his head back in victory. Cali whips around ready to go back outside and present her case but is tugged into the bar by the collar of her jacket by Mickey.

  **********

  Cali and Alexa are seated at the table the foursome had grabbed once they came in. They are watching Mickey and Matt waiting to catch the bartender, Ricki’s, attention to order another round. Alexa starts pushing the smattering of empty glasses scattered across the table toward the center.

  Cali turns to her roommate and sees a peculiar expression on Alexa’s face. She can’t tell if it’s eagerness or nervousness, she assumes it’s most likely both.

  “You having a good time, Lex?” she asks.

  Alexa nods. “I am,” she says with a smile.

  “Good,” she replies. “When they get back, I say we do a darts tournament. Two versus two.” Cali points two fingers at Alexa and continues, “You and Moose against me and Mickey.”

  “That sounds like a good idea,” Alexa agrees.

  “What sounds like a good idea?” Mickey asks putting down four fresh glasses and a pitcher of beer.

  “A darts tournament,” Alexa answers.

  Cali explains, “You and me versus her and him.” Cali looks around and doesn’t see Matt. “Where is him?”

  “He went to the bathroom,” Mickey replies.

  “Well then maybe now that he’s gone for a second, it’s a good time for a status report?” Cali suggests.

  “Yes, I agree” Mickey turns in her chair to face Alexa who has an honest, hopeful expression on her face. “He’s crazy about you.”

  Cali sees Alexa visibly relax once she hears that.

  “Really?” Alexa asks with a huge smile.

  “Really,” Mickey repeats.

  “That’s...” Alexa pauses for a moment. “Fantastic,” she finishes.

  “So now you know!” Cali is getting excited, but Mickey puts a hand on her arm to settle her. “And now you don’t have to worry about it,” Cali says in a normal voice.

  “Exactly,” Mickey adds. “You know he likes you, so you don’t have to question anything. And you can just relax and be yourself around him.”

  Cali brushes some of Mickey’s hair back behind her ear and sees in her peripheral that Matt is making his way back to their table.

  “Moose!” she calls out, deliberately loud enough so Mickey and Alexa hear her. “We’re having a darts tournament.”

  “Are we?” he asks with a smirk.

  “Yup,” Cali says popping the P. “Me and Mick versus you and her.” She punctuates her statement by pointing at Alexa.

  “Okay, I’m in,” Matt says with a brilliant smile directed straight at the girl with glasses.

  “Me too,” Alexa adds with a brilliant smile of her own.

  “Cal, do you know the rules of the game?” Mickey asks.

  “Well, no,” Cali responds.

  “And are you any good at darts?”

  “Nope,” Cali offers with a shrug.

  “Okay, then,” Matt chimes in rubbing his hands together. “Let’s play some darts.”

  ● 21 ●

  “Alexa”

  I’m sitting with Cali at the table we claimed upon coming in three hours ago. I’m openly staring at Matt who’s standing at the bar with Mickey getting our next round of drinks. To prevent my mind from wandering too much about Matt and what he and Mickey talked about or how he feels, I busy myself by pushing the empty glasses on the table into its center.

  “You having a good time, Lex?” I hear Cali ask

  I really am, I think. “I am,” I answer her with a genuine smile.

  Cali mentions something about having a dart tournament and I agree with her that it sounds like a good idea.

  “What sounds like a good idea?” Mickey asks. I watch her put down a pitcher and fresh glasses.

  “A darts tournament,” I tell her. I frown a little realizing that Matt hasn’t come back to the table. Before I can ask about him, Cali beats me to the punch.

  “He went to the bathroom,” Mickey explains.

  This is a perfect moment for Mickey to tell me what Matt said after her class. I don’t want to sound too desperate so I silently will Cali to ask the qu
estion for me. When she does, I have to pause for a minute and make sure I didn’t actually cause that. As soon as Mickey responds, I know I’m in the clear.

  The next words I hear build a warmth in my chest and sends my heart rate into overdrive.

  “He’s crazy about you,” Mickey says.

  It’s like getting a breath of fresh air after being underwater too long, and I can feel my body physically relax.

  I can’t wipe the smile from my face as I ask, “Really?”

  Mickey answers me back, “Really.”

  “That’s...” I have a million adjectives floating through my head all at one time. Amazing, awesome, wonderful, marvelous, excellent, fantastic. I say the last one out loud, “Fantastic.”

  I hear Cali and Mickey keep talking but I don’t listen to what they are saying. Matt likes me too. In fact, he’s crazy about me. I’m thinking about the possibilities that come with finding out someone’s interested in you. I’m so focused on the good that I’m blindsided by the next thought that enters my head.

  What will he say when he finds out who I really am? How hurt will he be that I’ve been lying to him constantly? What will he do when he knows the truth?

  “Moose! We’re having a darts tournament!” Cali’s excited voice brings me back to the present.

  When Matt says that he’s in, I make the decision to just enjoy the present that’s in front of me. I can’t get any closer to anything until Sunday, so for now, I’m going to be just a twenty-three-year-old woman playing darts with my friends and a guy I am very much attracted to. I allow my face to mirror the actual way I feel for once and say, “Me too.”

  **********

  The four of us are gathered around the middle of three dart boards hanging on a wall to the side of the vault door in the bar. I did a quick Google search to find the rules for darts and we all decide that the 501 game seems to be the easiest.

  Each team starts with five-hundred-and one points and you subtract the number value of whatever section your dart lands on, three darts a piece per round. The first team to get exactly zero points, or the team closest to zero after twenty rounds, wins.

  When I went to get the darts from Ricki behind the bar, she gave me a warning to keep an eye on Cali. Her exact words were: “I don’t need anyone leaving here with more holes than they came in with. A dart wielding squirrel is not covered by my insurance.”

  After ten rounds, Matt and I, or The Overdue Late Fees, are decisively in the lead over Cali and Mickey, or The Flying Squirrels. My roommate, of course, chose both team names and wouldn’t budge on altering them.

  It’s a good thing no other people were playing darts because Cali and Mickey have been all over the place. On Cali’s last turn, she had one dart in the ceiling, another in the wall underneath the board, and the third was the only one to actually hit the board. On Mickey’s turn before that, she had two darts on our board, and her third got a bullseye on the board directly to our left. None of us could quite figure out exactly how that happened.

  We had moved our drinks and jackets to a table near the boards and had ordered some typical bar food: nachos, chicken wings, and fries. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Ricki coming out from behind the bar to bring us another pitcher.

  “Thanks, Ric,” I said to the woman. Even with some food in my stomach, after four beers I am feeling looser than I have in months. I think I’m done drinking for tonight though, my inner monologue tells me, so I decide to cut myself off.

  “No problem,” Ricki responds.

  “Hey, Ricki!” Cali’s words are a little jumbled together as she asks, “You want a cameo shot?”

  “Sure,” Ricki replies easily. She takes a glance at the chalkboard scorecard on the wall and smirks. “I think you two could use all the help you can get,” she says in Mickey and Cali’s general direction. Ricki throws the three darts in quick succession and they all land on the twenty point section, two of them on a double.

  Cali whoops excitedly about the one hundred points just scored for her team. Matt and I immediately start protesting about how unfair that is and that now Ricki needs to do a cameo shot for our team. The bartender shrugs, pulls the three darts out the cork and launches them again. She repeats her performance and gets all three in the twenty spot, two again on a double.

  We all throw our hands up with a drawn-out chorus of, “Ohh!”

  “Damn, Ricki,” Matt drawls. “Are you a pro or something?”

  Ricki only offers a shrug and a non-committal, “Or something,” as a response as she heads back to resume her bartending duties.

  I go with her and get myself a seltzer. While she’s pouring it from the soda gun, I see behind her a plaque with a framed picture of her and Jorge, the bouncer. The brass plate has the words Pacific Northwest Darts Tournament on it. Apparently they made it to the semi-finals.

  She sees me looking at the plaque and gives me that same shrug. “Well played, Ric,” I tell her. She smirks as she pushes my drink across the bar to me.

  The big jump in points allows Matt and me to win the game in five more rounds. He and I slap hands in a double high five. He doesn’t let go of my hands right away but instead pulls me into a hug. I’m surrounded by his scent: Old Spice, laundry detergent, and peppermint. I could get lost in this smell forever. I hug him back and hold on a little longer than I normally would.

  When I let go, I turn to see Cali staring at us with crossed arms and frowning. I offer my hand for a shake and say, “Good game.”

  “I demand a rematch,” she says ignoring my hand.

  “Absolutely not,” Mickey says before Matt or I can answer. “Babe, let’s face it...” she pulls her in close and says in a stage whisper “...we suck at darts.”

  “I take offense to that,” Cali deadpans.

  We spend another couple of hours at Kris’s Tavern talking and joking. Matt and Cali have me cracking up retelling the pranks they used to play on their teachers. Matt has moved his chair right next to mine and has his hand on my knee while talking.

  After their story about air horns, duct tape, and the creative places they scattered them, I get a glimpse of Mickey trying to discretely hide a yawn. Yawns are proven to be contagious so of course, I yawn in response. I check the time on my phone and see it’s almost two in the morning.

  “Oh, man,” I say. “It’s almost two. Milo’s going to wake me up in six hours to go for a walk.”

  Mickey puts her hand over her mouth, yawning again. She turns to Cali and says, “Baby, I’m beat. You ready to go?”

  “Yeah, you had a busy day,” Cali says. “You staying over tonight?”

  Mickey nods and lets out an “mm-hmm” around another yawn. Her eyes are starting to tear from yawning multiple times. I see her blink quickly to clear them. Every time Mickey opens her mouth, I follow suit three seconds later.

  “Wow, you really are tired,” Cali says. “Okay let’s go.”

  We all stand up and put on our jackets, checking our pockets and wallets to make sure that we didn’t leave anything behind.

  “Are you going to grab a cab?” Cali asks turning to Matt.

  “No, no,” Matt says stifling a yawn of his own now. “I’ll walk you guys back, and then catch a cab from there.”

  “Such a gentle-moose, Moose,” Cali replies with a wink. She seems to be the only one of us still with energy.

  We go as a group up to the bar to for Ricki to have a moment to close our tabs. The bar has quieted some over the last half hour so we don’t have to wait long. We say goodnight to her and to Jorge on our way out.

  Matt and I are lagging about fifteen feet behind Cali and Mickey on the way back to my apartment. Instead of holding hands, Matt has his arm around my shoulder and I have mine around his waist. Every time he looks at me, his eyes dip to my mouth. I want so badly for him to kiss me. After the third time of him staring at my mouth, I decide to just go for it myself.

  No more wishy-washy ifs and buts “Alexa.” It’s time to woman up.

>   I stop walking and slightly pull on Matt to stop him too. I put my hand on his cheek and search his face for uncertainty or any apprehension. Here goes nothing. I lick my lips and tilt my head up so our mouths meet lightly in a tentative kiss.

  I’ve barely pulled away before I feel his mouth on mine again, firmer this time, more purposeful. He pulls me into him, the arm still around my shoulder moves to around to the back of my neck, the other snaking its way across my lower back under my jacket. His mouth moves against mine perfectly, no hesitation. I tilt my head to get better access to him.