White Petals

by Maria Grace

  Quinn frowned at Bett. ‘Oh, shut up, Betty Morris. Nobody asked you.’

  ‘No! You shut up, Quinn Davies.’ Bett folded her arms. ‘She’s not trying to bully you into telling her your life story, is she? Because it’s private, see. I mean, you wouldn’t like it if she knew that your mother was a slag, would you, Quinn Davies?’

  Karra snorted under her nose.

  Little Charlie moved to the top of the bed where she was safe as she tried not to laugh.

  Quinn’s mouth fell open. ‘What did you just say?’ She narrowed her eyes at Bett.

  Karra had thrown herself backwards on the bed by this point, laughing hysterically. Little Charlie had buried her face in the pillow.

  ‘I said…’ Bett moved closer to Quinn so they were stood face to face as she spoke. ‘Your. Mother.’ She emphasised the words. ‘Is. A. Slag.’

  ‘You best take that back, Betty Morris,’ Quinn threatened, and even I was trying to hide my smile by now.

  They glared at each other.

  Karra laughed out loud. ‘Girls! Come on! We’ve got a visitor. Behave yourselves. Can’t you two just get along for one day?’

  An hour later, the girls were lying around, listening to music and painting their toenails with my new cherry-red polish. They’d introduced themselves properly, talking over each other as they defined themselves by three different categories: what their criminal convictions were, how many boys they’d boffed, and what they wanted to be when they grew up.

  Karra was sixteen years old, had one ASBO and one GBH charge. That’s Grievous Bodily Harm, she said. I didn’t know this. The closest I’d been to a police encounter was watching CSI on a Tuesday night.

  She’d boffed two boys and had one pregnancy scare, but then she’d had the implant afterwards so it didn’t matter now, apparently. She wanted to be a teacher but couldn’t because of the ASBO, so was thinking of going to college to be a beautician instead. The other girls said this was a shame because they all agreed that it would be lush to have a teacher like Karra – you’d be able to do whatever you wanted in class!

  Quinn was fifteen, and she had one record of TWOC – Taking Without Owner’s Consent. She’d stolen Auntie Sue’s car the year before, after an argument with Bett. She said she just needed to get away for a bit, so she drove to Carmarthen for the day and ate chips on the beach at Llansteffan. The police picked her up, halfway down the M4 on the way back to the children’s home. Although she was gutted to be arrested, she was flattered that the police thought she was a very conscientious driver, considering she’d never had any driving lessons. She was quite proud that she was the only person in the home to be an official twocker, which was the police’s term for car thieves. Because there was no damage to the car, she’d got off with a community service order, cleaning up dog mess in the park. Quinn said it wasn’t so bad in the end – she’d met a nice boy there, and he now bought her curry and chips from the chip shop down the road every Friday night.

  She eventually wanted to be a nurse, and she had also boffed two boys, but made them both wait six weeks on account of not wanting to turn out a slag like her mother.

  Little Charlie didn’t have any criminal convictions, and she hadn’t boffed any boys because she had only just turned thirteen and wasn’t fussed by neither men nor trouble. The Mormons from the church down the road had recently convinced her to join them every Sunday, and even though she wasn’t fussed by them either, she still went for the free tea and biscuits. She wanted to be a social worker when she grew up, because she said she wanted to show the social workers what they were all doing wrong.

  And then there was Bett. The eldest of them all at almost seventeen years old, she hadn’t boffed any boys, and she’d had one charge of ABH – Actual Bodily Harm. But Quinn had later dropped the charges when she’d had a chance to calm down. When she was older, Bett wanted to be a librarian or a bodyguard for her key worker, Gladys Friday.

  I watched Bett trying to paint her right toes with her left hand, frowning because she couldn’t reach. Quinn leant over, took the brush out of Bett’s hand and painted the last two toenails for her.

  I got up from the bed and looked around the room. It wasn’t so bad, really. I wondered if the staff would let me paint it. Or maybe I could put some posters up. I walked over to the window. In the right-hand corner of the window, on the outside, was a spider’s web. No spider, just the web. I remembered someone telling me ages ago that spider’s webs were a good omen, and even though I hated spiders, I hoped this was true.

  I looked a bit further into the distance and I could see the park at the bottom of the hill. The rose bush stood tall, and the white roses shone like lucky pennies in the sunlight.

  In the background, Quinn and Karra started to argue over my lucky cardigan again. I could hear them, but I was mesmerised by the white petals calling me from the park. Something about them brought real comfort to me.

  ‘EM!’ Karra’s voice made me jump.

  I turned around quickly.

  ‘Do you want to come out with us tonight?’ Karra asked.

  I was being invited out with them – that meant they must like me. But it had been such a long day and I was completely exhausted.

  ‘No, thanks.’ I shook my head. ‘I’m shattered. I think I’ll stay here to have a bath and unpack properly.’

  ‘Suit yourself,’ she replied.

  Off they went, calling each other names as they quarrelled their way out of the room.

  ‘Girls, can you do me a favour, please?’ I called. All four of them turned round to look at me. I flushed with embarrassment. ‘Can you just make sure that you don’t rip the cardigan? It’s my favourite.’

  I knew it was childish, but I’d loved that cardigan since the first day I saw it, and I’d saved my pocket money for, like, a month to buy it. The fact that Ed Sheeran had touched it was just a bonus.

  They all looked at me like I was off my tree. To them, it was just a cardigan. I caught Quinn’s eye, and I felt myself go even redder because I knew I was blushing.

  I looked away, trying to stay cool.

  ‘Come on, Quinn!’ shouted Karra. ‘I haven’t got all day. Let’s go!’

  Quinn looked a little guilty, taking the cardigan with her, as they rushed from the room to get ready.

  When they left, I breathed in the foreignness of everything. The space was vast, and I felt insignificant standing in the middle of it. A small shiver ran through me, and I felt cold and alone. I desperately wanted my lucky cardigan, not just to keep me warm, but to keep me calm. It was a bit like a security blanket, and being without it was overwhelming.

  I sat on my bed for a few minutes and blew out hot air to stop my eyes stinging. Why was I getting so upset over a stupid flipping cardigan? I knew I was being irrational, but I just couldn’t help it. It was my cardigan; my lucky cardigan that I had bought completely by myself. Ed Sheeran had touched it!

  Just then, as my cheeks puffed out like a teary blowfish, Quinn walked back in.

  I froze.

  She looked at me.

  I tried to smile, but I could feel my lip wobbling as I struggled to stop the tears running down my face. I probably looked a right knob.

  Without saying a word, she nodded to me and folded my lucky blue cardigan with the white velvet rose on. She laid it delicately on the edge of my bed, and left the room.

  SIX

  It was nine o’clock. I’d unpacked my case properly and laid out my half of the room as comfortably as I could, trying to make it a bit more like home.

  In the bath, I’d forced myself to try and forget about the day; let it all sink down the plughole with some raspberry bubbles that Auntie Sue had given me.

  I remembered Tyler telling me that toast and tea was at nine, so I put on my pyjamas and went downstairs.

  As promised, Tyler was sitting there with an empty seat next to him. There was an A4 piece of paper folded in half on top of the table, with ‘REZERVD’ written on it in black marker.
He smiled widely and patted the empty seat for me to sit down.

  In the middle of the table was a big tray with a mountain of toast stacked up on it.

  Karra and Quinn had gone out, so there were just five kids for supper, and three members of staff – Auntie Sue, Big Jim and a short lady with brown hair and a friendly face. She smiled and came over to greet me.

  ‘I’m glad it’s Friday!’ she declared. ‘And you?’

  I didn’t really know how to respond. I mean, it had been a pretty rough day, but I suppose that Friday was usually a good day. And the woman seemed enthusiastic about the weekend, so I didn’t want to dampen her spirits.

  ‘Yes…’ I replied a little warily. ‘Yes, I’m glad it’s Friday, too. It’s nice to have the weekend to chill out.’

  She laughed heartily and gave me a hug. ‘I like your sense of humour, kid! But seriously, what’s your name?’

  Bett was sitting at the table. She started chuckling through a mouthful of toast. ‘No, Emmeline Rose! She’s telling you her name – Gladys Friday!’

  Oh. Nice one, Em. Fool.

  ‘Gladys Friday, this is the new girl, Emmeline Rose.’ Bett licked some butter off her thumb as she continued the introduction. ‘Emmeline Rose, this here is Gladys Friday,’ she said, beaming with pride. ‘Gladys Friday is my key worker.’

  ‘It’s lovely to meet you,’ I said and smiled at her.

  I reached across for a piece of toast and Beano looked at my pyjamas, amused.

  ‘Nice PJs.’ He smirked.

  ‘I think they’re nice.’ Tyler shrugged.

  ‘Yeah, but they’re not exactly sexy, are they?’ Beano laughed, nodding at the little sheep on them.

  ‘I think they’re sexy,’ Tyler said, with strawberry jam dripping down his chin.

  ‘Thank you, Tyler.’ I smiled at him, and then gave Beano the evil eye.

  ‘So what’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?’ Beano asked.

  ‘What do you mean, a girl like me?’ I frowned.

  ‘Well, you’re not like the other girls here, are you?’ he explained. ‘You’re posh, you are. You shouldn’t be here – you make the place look messy.’

  I felt the colour rising in my cheeks.

  ‘Don’t you listen to him, Emmeline,’ said Gladys Friday. ‘He’s just annoyed because he’s skint and single. He wanted to go out with Karra and Quinn earlier, but they told him to get lost. He’s got a little soft spot for our Karra, haven’t you, Beano?’

  They all laughed and Big Jim gave Beano a playful dig in the ribs.

  After supper, I sat in the reading corner, flicking through a magazine and listening to the staff gossip about last week’s lottery winners, and what they were going to spend their own winnings on when they eventually won the syndicate.

  I had made a disastrous error during supper, so I thought it best to keep a low profile until Bett had forgiven me.

  I had called Gladys Friday by her first name only. The whole room fell silent and I stopped mid-chew. Bett, sitting opposite, looked at me like I’d just asked her to drink my dirty bathwater. I quickly apologised and promised to address Gladys Friday properly from now on. It had been half an hour ago, so I hoped that Bett was now in a better mood.

  I walked over to the peachy-coloured sofa.

  Bett studied my face. ‘Are you sorry, Emmeline Rose?’

  ‘I am, yes,’ I apologised.

  ‘Well, I suppose you’re still getting used to everyone’s names,’ Bett reasoned. ‘But don’t let it happen again, OK? Gladys Friday doesn’t like to be called … Gladys.’ She winced as she said it. ‘Her real name is Gladys Friday!’

  ‘I understand,’ I replied. ‘I’ll be more careful in future.’

  This seemed to be sufficient enough, so Bett invited me to watch a quiz show with her, Little Charlie and Beano. Tyler sat on the floor, playing Guess Who by himself.

  Beano was trying to show off by answering the quiz questions, but he was being brutally beaten by Bett. I soon got into the competition, trying to answer as many of the questions as I could to gain extra points for the girls. But Beano was too quick for me. He’d answered most of the questions before they’d even been read out.

  The commercial break came, and I was glad of the opportunity to rest my brain for three minutes.

  ‘OK, Posh?’ Beano smirked at me.

  ‘Why do you keep calling me that?’ I was annoyed. ‘What makes me posh?’

  ‘Well, you got, like, shiny hair and stuff, haven’t you?’ he pointed out. ‘And you don’t smoke or nothing, either.’

  ‘Just because I don’t smoke doesn’t mean that I’m posh. It just means I don’t smoke, that’s all,’ I said. ‘But thank you for the hair compliment.’

  ‘I knew it!’ He grinned. ‘I saw you giving me the glad-eye earlier. You fancy me, don’t you?’

  Auntie Sue shouted over. ‘Beano! Shut up, will you? It’s bad enough when you’re drooling over Karra every five minutes, without you sexually harassing Emmeline, too.’

  ‘Harassing!’ Beano shrieked. ‘I think you’ll find it’s the other way round, thank you very much. Karra can’t get enough of me. She’s gagging for it, Auntie Sue. She’s just playing hard to get!’

  ‘Of course she is, Beano.’ Auntie Sue smiled sarcastically. ‘And I suppose you don’t fancy Karra at all.’

  ‘Yeah, course I do,’ Beano said. ‘I’d smash the pasty off her. But what I’m saying is that she wants to smash me, too. She’s just stubborn, that’s all. You know what they say about ginger girls…’

  ‘What’s that?’ Auntie Sue asked.

  ‘Redheads burn the hottest.’ He winked and Auntie Sue rolled her eyes.

  ‘HA! HA! HAAAA!’ Big Jim laughed loudly. ‘Oh, Beano! You are shameless! You just say what you want – please or offend. It’s a buuuriful thing!’

  Auntie Sue and Gladys Friday glared at Big Jim, and he laughed even more. ‘HA! HA! HAAA!’ He threw his head back. ‘At least the boy is honest!’

  The commercial break ended and the battle continued. We all fought to get the answers right. If it wasn’t for Bett’s ridiculously accurate general knowledge, Beano would have really stumped us. How did he know all the answers? I didn’t get it. He didn’t seem that clever.

  The staff were sitting around the table, watching us and sipping their tea.

  The show was just about to finish, and the host asked the final two questions. ‘What is the most common element on Earth?’ he said in his game-show voice. The audience was quiet, tense.

  ‘I know this! I know this!’ Little Charlie shouted as she shot her hand up to answer. ‘I think it might be salt or something… Yes! Yes, it’s salt. SALT!’

  ‘Shut it, Charlie!’ Beano snapped.

  ‘What’s the matter, Beano?’ Gladys Friday called to him from across the room. ‘Don’t you know the answer to this one?’

  ‘Stay out of it, WOMAN!’ Beano shouted, chuckling at something I didn’t know.

  Gladys Friday looked particularly pleased with herself. ‘Why so touchy, Beano?’ she asked. ‘Does your infinite wisdom not know the answer to these last couple of questions?’ She grinned. ‘Could it be that when you watched this show lastnight, you missed the final few minutes because you were too busy peeing all over the toilet seat, as usual?’

  What did she mean? Had he already watched the show? But that meant…

  Beano covered his face to hide his smirk.

  He was cheating all along!

  ‘It’s Hydrogen,’ Bett said matter-of-factly. ‘The most common element on Earth is Hydrogen.’

  ‘And the answer is C – HYDROGEN,’ the host declared.

  Whoops and cheers came from the staff and Bett grinned proudly while Little Charlie folded her arms in a sulk.

  I couldn’t help but giggle as everyone teased Beano.

  ‘I don’t know what you’re laughing at, Posh,’ he said. ‘You didn’t answer the question, she did.’

  ‘SHE is the cat’s mother,�
�� Gladys Friday stated, in the way that only women of a certain age do.

  ‘Excuse me, Beano Pritchard,’ Bett added, ‘it doesn’t matter who answered the question. Fact is, the girls got it right. And if you’re so concerned about beating Emmeline Rose, then make it final on the next question: you against her. The loser makes tea for everyone.’

  ‘OK, Posh!’ Beano winked at me. ‘Prepare to take your little sheep pyjamas to the kitchen and make eight cups of tea, because you-are-going-DOWN.’

  I had to focus.

  ‘Which nation gave women the right to vote first?’ the TV host called out.

  Bett was sitting on her hands with her mouth squeezed together like she was going to burst.

  ‘Britain!’ Beano shouted triumphantly. ‘Screw you, Posh!’

  ‘New Zealand,’ I answered, hoping that I was right. I remembered learning this in school.

  The light showed up on the TV screen, highlighting the answer.

  ‘NEW ZEALAND is the correct answer!’ the host announced.

  A collective roar of laughter filled the room.

  ‘Screw YOU, Beano Pritchard! Screw YOU!’ Bett jumped up and down with delight, pointing at Beano.

  He laughed and high-fived Bett. ‘Well played, girls.’ He shrugged in defeat. ‘You win. I lose.’

  ‘And how do those words taste, coming out of your mouth, Beano?’ Gladys Friday teased.

  ‘Like vinegar,’ said Beano.

  ‘That’s funny,’ she replied. ‘Because Ithought they tasted like eight cups of tea.’

  SEVEN

  At bedtime, the room seemed oddly quiet without the girls there. It made me think of my sister, because this was how our house felt every time she was away at Bill and Nora’s.

  I tried to sleep, but it was weird being in a new room. I kept expecting Mum to walk in, complaining that she couldn’t sleep and asking if I would make her some hot chocolate.

  You know how you spend all your life wanting to get away from your parents, because you feel like you’re in jail? Well, here it was: freedom.

  I had no idea how freedom felt. I’d grown up in a house where I had to be in before it was dark otherwise Mum would go hunting around the whole town, knocking on doors in her best fur coat, armed with a pack of twenty and her life story, convinced that something terrible had happened to me. It was easier to stay in.