I haven’t seen, texted or called her since. I’m not good for anyone anymore. Frustration booms through me and wakes a beast that’s wrapped my heart up in darkness. These walls and the memories are too damn much.
Getting up from the bed, I begin ripping the posters down from the walls from all the Guns N’ Roses concerts we went to over the years. I find a box full of random stuff, pictures, my first pipe and old patches. I toss the whole thing onto the floor, smashing anything that can be smashed with my heavy black boots. Not feeling the beast lessen the hold on me, I pick up the lamp off my nightstand and throw it against the wall. I need more to fuel the satisfaction of the shattering sound.
I hear the door to my room banging against the wall as Blade barges in and grabs me by the arms. “Axl! Stop, brother! This is your mom’s house.”
The pain inside of me needs to be freed. I rip my arm from his grasp and punch him in the face. Blade takes the punch, then swings back hitting my nose. Blood spurts all over me. The pain is spurring me on and I laugh and swing again, needing to hit him some more. Looking for my shot, I nail his side, then cheek. I finally start feeling like the rage is momentarily subsiding with the pain in my hands.
He grips my shirt with his fists and charges forward, slamming me against the wall, pushing his full weight and strength on me. It knocks the wind out of me. One of his hands steadies my body to hold me up. The other hand balls up into a fist and lands another two punches in my face. “Yes, kill me, make it all stop.”
Blade stops his assault, bringing his face centimeters from mine. “You want to die? Do it on your own, you selfish prick! You’re not the only one hurting!” He’s breathing heavy in frustration now. “You have two days to get your shit and get to Reno. Your first fight is scheduled for Friday night. Get the fuck out of your mother’s house, you disrespectful asshole.” Blade shoves me forward toward the door, very effectively throwing me out of my own room.
My feet are following the way to the kitchen on instinct. I grab the keys to the Jeep and head for the garage. Mom grips my arm, halting my progress. I can’t look at the pain and tears in her eyes as she says, “Come back to me, Axl,” then lets go.
Gripping the keys harder, I charge for the door without looking back.
Chapter 12
Dana
Flipping on the CB radio that Axl had installed in my car, the noise from the static fills the despairing silence. Indecision eats at me as I’ve tried to reach him for days. My heart sinks when I think back to what Axl said. ‘Nothing lasts forever.’ The overwhelming doubt creeps into my heart. Maybe he didn’t really care for me like I thought?
I push past the pain and hold the button down on the CB mic. “Roger Rabbit, what’s your location? This is Jessica Rabbit, over and out.” I wait a minute and nothing. Switching to another channel I try again and again to no avail.
Snake knocks onto the window startling me, and I jump in my seat. “For the love of God, Snake!” I screech at him and pull on the handle to open the door. Stretching out my legs, I stand next to a snickering Snake. “What are you doing in there, babe?”
“Trying to reach Axl. Blade said he took off into the desert alone in his dad’s Jeep, and I wanted to catch him, and to check in on him,” I say as my gaze hits the ground.
“Baby?” Snake’s strong hand cradles my cheek as he tilts my face up to his. I can’t look at him. I can’t let him see what I let Axl do to me. Kissing my closed eyelids, he says, “Baby, let me see those blue eyes, let me see your pain.”
My heart flutters after weeks of pain, and I do, I open my eyes into the familiar face of Snake. I yearn for a man’s touch to heal the pain inside. I lean in a little closer to the warmth of his strength, treasuring his reliance.
His lips come down and place a kiss on my forehead, muttering, “Dana, you know that he should be with you. He should be here.” Kissing me one last time on the forehead, he holds my hand and looks into my eyes.
The bar door slams open as Jenn runs into Spider’s back. Holy shit, how long was he standing there listening? An evil gleam graces his face as he walks off the step and heads over to his bike, cranking the machine on.
Snake lets go of my hand and walks over to his bike without saying another word.
Jenn skips on over to the spot to where I’m standing. “Well, well, well, I’m glad I caught you before Spider caught you with your hand in the cookie jar. Or rather Snake’s hand in your cookie jar.” She smirks and grabs my hand, leading me to her 1982 black Shelby GT 500 mustang.
“Where are we going?” I ask while she pushes me in the direction of her car.
“Picking up Vegas and Kat at the brewhouse,” she shrugs back.
Trying my best not to rip her head off, because my emotions have been on the brink of destruction lately, I take a deep breath and calmly ask, “And where are all four of us going, Jenn?”
“Taking you to watch the fight?”
Taking another deep breath, I relax into the leather seat as the big engine under the hood purrs to life, humming under our bodies.
“Jenn, I’m trying to keep my shit together. What fight? Give me the details, please.”
“Vegas said there’s a boxing fight that the guys fight in downtown to pay off a debt from Johnny, that motherfucker. Anyway, Vegas caught wind of it since the boss bitch keeps her ear to the ground with that shit. She texted me five minutes ago telling me to grab you and pick her and Kat up. Now you know everything.”
On some days, I feel like between all these girls and the MC, everything changes so much that I can’t keep up. Jenn pulls the car up to the front of the brewery, blasting her horn impatiently. I look over at her, wondering why that was necessary.
“What? I hate waiting,” she shrugs.
Vegas walks out the door, Kat following closely behind. Both are decked out in black clothes and biker boots. I get out of the car and hop in the back with Kat.
“Jenn, you two gotta change and we gotta floor it,” boss bitch demands. Jenn nods and turns up her track. Hole by Violet plays. Courtney Love screams through the speakers as Jenn peels out, tires screeching, rocks flipping in a dusty wave behind us.
Going around the front of the bar, we see a few brothers standing outside, smoking and shaking their heads at us as we head to a destination un-freaking-known.
∞ ∞ ∞
The four of us, dressed to the nines all in black, walk into the hazy crowd of the underground bar and fight club. Kat whistles low, taking in the ambiance of the dark room filled with all different kinds of smoke. Each of us follows behind the other, fighting through the thick crowd. Vegas goes first since she is the one leading us on this little adventure, then Jenn, me, and Kat last.
Vegas stops, looking around for a spot to stand out of the way as a guy hands Jenn a joint. She takes it from him to take a long pull.
“Jenn, you drove us here.”
“It’s one hit, Dana,” Jenn states, rolling her eyes at me.
I swear to God, if I could get away with smacking her right now, I so would.
Vegas finds a spot for us to see the action and she points at it while moving her feet, hauling ass, and we quickly follow behind.
Tucked away in a darker corner of the room, I take in all the people that surround us. Blonde girls, beautifully decked out in skin tight dresses, walk around. Men in expensive suits turn to look at us. Some in interest, others in disappointment, dawning on me that Vegas didn’t want the high rollers to pay us more attention by thinking we were call girls.
Other rough looking men of all likes walk around us to go and stand in line to place bets. A topless woman in a string bikini bottom gets on stage with an announcer. The men holler for her as she smiles and holds up the card with the fight number, walking around the ring. I blink in surprise and confusion. Kat leans into me, “They are three round fights, unless one of the fighters is knocked out or taps out. If they tap out, they never come back. They bet on the fight, hence the fight number.”
&
nbsp; My eyes pop at her confession. “Okay. How do you know this?”
Kat just smiles in reply, nodding her head in the direction of the ring.
My breath catches when I see a tormented soul walking toward the ring, shirtless and with his black jeans and boots on. The eyes of Axl are extinguished of the life they once had. His muscles flex as he jumps up and down into the ring. The ring girl slides up next to him, brushing her tits on Axl’s arm as she whispers into his ear. He doesn’t move away from her and I feel the tears prick my eyes. Kat squeezes my hand.
Vegas mutters, “I’m going to kick his motherfucking stupid ass myself.”
The MC starts his introduction. “In this corner we have a new man to the ring, he’s six foot…”
The world starts to fade away as my heart beats so hard in my chest until all I hear is the painful rhythm in my ears over the cheers of the fans.
The other fighter and Axl start circling each other. Axl gives his opponent a dead gaze until he jabs, hitting Axl square in his face and blood starts pouring down his nose. A malicious smile graces Axl’s face now as he stands there with blood coating his teeth.
“Dumbass better stop fucking around,” Jenn says in anticipation.
“It’s fueling his psychotic mental state, he wants his blood to pour. Wait, the beast is going to claim him,” Kat responds.
As predicted, Axl is hit again in the jaw with a right hook. He spits his blood out and roars, tilting his head back and howling to hell to come and take over him. The roar of the crowd entices him further and Axl charges the guy.
Fists and blood fly from each man. No mercy from the heavens in this room. The crowd cheers from the brutality and sickening sounds of fists hitting flesh. Blood splatters the white ring’s floor. Axl lands an uppercut, sending the man flying backward to the ground. He jumps on top of him and grips his hair, then he slams his head into the floor, looking unsatisfied with just winning.
Axl stands and kicks the guy in the head, turning his body in our direction. Vomit is lodged into my throat as I see the man’s cut up face from the brutal hits he was given. Blood coats his face and the swelling is so severe that he won’t be able to open his eyes when he, hopefully, does wake up again.
“Hello, Vegas.” A slick, good-looking Italian man walks up behind Vegas and leans into her. Vegas turns her head, not intimidated by this man at all. Does she know him?
“What’s up, Tony? You changed the place up a bit I see. Good for you.”
“What can I say? Business has been good.” Tony licks his bottom lip, trying to hide the devil’s smile that’s lurking underneath.
“Yeah, that’s what I hear,” Vegas snarls back.
“Better run on home before your biker catches you with me,” Tony chuckles and tugs on a strand of her brunette hair as he walks backwards.
Finally, the asshole turns and gets lost in the crowd. “Vegas, we need to move out of here,” Kat urges. “If Blade catches us here, he’ll tan all of our hides.”
“He knew the second we walked in.” She turns and looks off toward the right deep end into the crowd where Blade and the crew stand.
“Why didn’t you acknowledge him then?” I ask
“Because he would have sent us home and I wanted to see this for myself. We need to help Axl, these guys are letting him go too far off the rails.”
My nerves are shot, and Vegas sees in my eyes that I’m about to explode. Tugging me through the crowd, she pulls us out to the car in the parking lot.
“Why the hell did you take me here for, Vegas? You think I needed to see that?” I yell at her and heave mouthfuls of the crisp night air into my burning lungs.
“Yeah, you do. Because you can’t see the reality of what happened to him and how that has changed him. You think that he should just snap back to his old self, Dana. When life fucks you up so bad, it changes you. Changes your heart and mind. If you want him, any part of him, back, you’re going to have to accept the part of him that is a monster too. Fight your own fears, Dana, and fight for all of Axl.”
“You’re always just doing shit whenever you want. Not really thinking of anyone else,” I accuse.
“Yep, that’s me, Dana, only thinking of myself. Wanting to show you the reality of who he is now, so you can find a better way to reach his dark soul. I’m so selfish, that’s right,” Vegas pops a hand on her hip.
“Fuck this shit!” Angry and pissed off, I storm off to the car alone.
“Guess what?” she yells over to me, stopping me in my tracks and forcing me to turn around. “I’ll be here when you stop being stubborn and really see the beast of Axl’s pain, and when you pull your head out, I’ll be here to help.”
Blade walks out from the crowd, storming toward Vegas and swatting her ass in a way that’s meant to bruise her. She scowls at him, but moves toward where he leads her. I watch as he hands her a helmet from his bike and she climbs on behind him.
My eyes catch the man next to Blade. It’s Axl, and his eyes watch mine for a moment. As if he’s never seen me before, he straddles his bike and drives right by me. The exhaust from his motor is hitting my nose.
Yanking the door to the car open, I slam my body into the seat and then close it shut. I let out the cry I have been holding just as Kat and Jenn get in the car. Curling forward into myself, I retreat further into my thoughts.
My pride is so strong and tells me that I’m right. That Axl should not be treating me this way, he should be here by now. My heart tells me to drop my fear and pride and drag him back to me.
Chapter 13
Axl
Busting through the door of the warehouse, the night sky and the crisp air help to slow down my breathing and the adrenaline that’s rushing through my veins. My body hums with desperation to keep killing, the wolf inside never feeling satisfied. He wants loose. He wants to kill all things with a beating, loving heart, including my own.
Like a force, I feel her eyes on me before I see her. I start my bike, anticipation screaming at me to leave before I kill her too. Destroy all the good inside of her heart. I don’t want to see her, but the pull to her is stronger in this moment than the beast. I can’t stop myself from looking for her.
Some part of me wishes that I could find me again. My eyes connect with her broken, lonely ones. I don’t want her to see the possessed demon inside of me. The hungry wolf who wants to eat her soul alive only to unleash hell into her like the hell I’ve allowed the pain to do to mine. I rip my eyes and my attention away from her. I leave her standing on the cold pavement, alone and better off without the man who only wants to consume her.
The rhythm of the bike’s motor and the buzz from the tires on the pavement help grounding me. Reaching the freeway, I let the clutch go and hit the gas. The speed is a drug I can’t help but want another hit from. Weaving through the traffic like in a game of roulette, I dodge the other cars and trucks on the road. Horns blare at me as I cut a driver off the road or cut in front of others.
A police siren sounds behind me, exciting me further. I turn around to see the pig has his lights flashing. Smiling, I egg him on in my head, “Come get me, asshole, if you can catch me.”
Watching closely the cars in front of me, I race around them. Other cars start pulling over to the side of the road for the siren, and it makes it easier for that cunt to catch up to me. My heart howls at the moon, begging to be brought down by this asshole, make me part of the dirt.
Seeing an exit up ahead, I move the bike to the right side of the road. The ramp comes to a stop at a deadly right turn at the bottom of the off ramp. The cop can’t see what’s coming from his car. His motor roars behind me, trying to clip my back tire.
Jerking the handle bar to the left, my bike hits the incline back up onto the freeway. The engine screams in unused energy as my bike takes flight, jumping back onto the freeway. My tires squeal as they try to grip traction and I skid back and forth. Loud crashing alerts me that the cop, in fact, like I thought, did not take the turn too well
.
Finding my balance on my Roadster, I continue toward the clubhouse at a punishing pace. I pull into the parking lot and park my bike into the garage bay for the night, then I continue to the bar to look for a beer. I sit at the bar and find a woman that I’ve never seen before eyeing me curiously over the countertop.
“Fuck, bitch, quit staring and give me a beer,” I snarl, clearly not in the mood for fucking stupidity from anyone. Too tense to relax, I wait for the others to get back since I made it back here way before them. I take a pull of the cold beer, holding the bottle to my lips, and smirk to myself at the night I had.
I turn my head and watch Pawn. Now that he’s patched in, he’s going for some double pussy in the corner. The bitches all want to wear his patch, thinking he’s an easy in to become Ol’ Ladies.
Pawn stands in the darkened corner with one bitch naked and fingering her own cunt while relentlessly sucking him off, while he sucks on another bitch’s face as she rides his fingers. The bitch he’s kissing pulls her face away, screeching out her ecstasy. That grates on my nerves.
Taking another pull from my beer, I tilt my head back and start to chug until my seat tilts back and my body crashes to the floor with it. The bottle is thrown from my hand and shatters against the wall, dripping down to the floor from the walls.
Blade is on top of me, pulling me back up from the floor by my shirt only to slam me again against the wall where my beer bottle just shattered.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, Axl!” He roars his anger into my face as his fists dig into my chest.
Throwing my weight forward toward him, I push his hands away from me and step further into Blade. Snarling, face to face, I ask, “What the motherfucking shit are you bitching to me about?” My fists clench and unclench hoping he will swing first.
“Vegas and I were riding right behind you, Axl. I saw how you were recklessly driving between cars. You could kill yourself, and then what? Leave us all here, your club and mom to deal with your selfish choices?”
Nothing Lasts Forever (Battle Born MC Book 2) Page 9