Shattered Dreams

by Linde Lean

  On the day she was discharged, Jenny felt very emotional. Ryan was supportive, but she felt disconnected in a way, she found it hard to explain. Driving up to the house, Jenny could not help, but think of the first day she saw this huge home and estate. She felt a far cry from that young girl. Ryan insisted that she come home with him, but she knew that it was only as he wanted to keep an eye on her so that she did not do anything to harm his child. She gave a twisted smile.

  Ryan looked across at her, caught this sad gesture. His hand went to take hers as it lay on her lap, but she immediately pulled her hand away.

  He sighed, it was going to take time.

  Everyone was pleased to see her and welcomed her, and as Jenny looked up the wide winding staircase, it actually felt as if she was facing an enormous obstacle. She had to go to her room and live here as if everything was still the same. Normal, when in fact it felt as if her whole life was falling apart.

  The pain she felt at the loss of that happiness tore into her. Her only preservation was withdrawal into the darkness. But Ryan kept on intruding there, and kept on pulling her back!

  As Ryan led her down the passage, she turned to enter her room, but he forestalled her and led her further along the passage, to the master bedroom, which since his parents moved out, had not been in use, other than as a guest room. Ryan had preferred to occupy the room next to his son.

  She couldn’t think why he brought her here. She wanted to object, but she felt too lethargic to argue about it. Meekly she complied and went into the master suit.

  The suit had been re-decorated, the previous heavy burgundy brocade furnishings having been replaced by neutral hues of creams and beiges, with splashes of colour in different hues of gold, burnt sienna and copper greens, complementing the dark mahogany furniture and giving the room an airy and calm atmosphere

  Jenny immediately liked the relaxed colour scheme.

  Ryan placed her small overnight bag on the ottoman at the base of the bed.

  “Sally said she would come up to unpack for you.”

  “I can do it myself, it’s not much.”

  She felt annoyed, and he heard it in her tone. It pleased him, anything but that monotone voice that he had come to fear.

  “I know, but she offered, she wants to do it for you, but I can tell her it won’t be necessary if that’s what you want?”

  “Yes, it is. Please, I don’t feel like having anyone around me now.”

  Jenny gave him a pointed look, which he chose to ignore. He was by nature not a patient man, and he found that, already his patience was being tested to the limit. But as an astute businessman he knew when to retreat and bide his time, and when it was necessary to take more constructive action to get what he wanted.

  Jenny saw the muscle in his cheek tighten, but he did not react. She did not know if she should feel relieved or annoyed. Opening her bag, she removed her clothing, and went into what use to be the en-suite and stopped in her tracks, the original en-suite had been remodeled into a spectacular dressing room, from which the new en-suite led.

  One entire wall was taken up with cupboard space the lower half contained drawers. There was a beautiful mahogany dressing table with a large mirror. In a secluded corner was a comfortable couch and armchair and against another wall a large floor to ceiling mirror. The other wall consisted of a large window with one-way glass, which let natural light into the beautiful room. The suit situated as it was, guaranteed privacy. She need never to shut the blinds.

  Jenny dropped her clothing in the laundry basket, needing the practicality to break the tight atmosphere in the room.

  Ryan watched her move to the cupboard to place her other few items in. Jenny opened the cupboard door and stood still, then stepped back as if she’d seen a snake and she turned anguished eyes to him.

  “I am not sharing a room with you!”

  He walk to her and took her by her shoulders, and gentle said.

  “You and I have shared the most intimate of intimacies with each other, you couldn’t think after what happened that, I wouldn’t want you with me, hmm?”

  “Ryan, you didn’t before, and we only slept together that one night, please, I don’t want to repeat it.” Jenny pleaded.

  “Jenny, we have to let go of the past.”

  Lifting her chin so that he could see her eyes, he continued in a low voice.

  “You are mine, I am your man, and I intend to share many more nights, of what we had. Now that I have tasted you I will never be sated without you.”

  Her blue eyes reflected astonishment and then a flush came up her face.

  “I am not an object. If I say no, then I mean no, you can’t make me!”

  “No, and I respect that, your no is your no, and I will never take what you are not willing to give freely. But that does not mean that we are to have separate rooms. I had this suit remodeled with you in mind. I know your penchant for dressing in the bathroom, with this dressing room you won’t have to cart your clothes with you to the bathroom each time you want to change, and of course,”

  Ryan’s voice dipped sensually.

  “I’ll not be denied the privilege of sharing with you, the intimacy of dressing together.” He caught the sweep of her eyes, opening wide, as she realized that he fully meant to live with her as if they were already a married couple. She may have said no, but everything else appeared to be academic.

  “I’ve told you I love you. I’ve asked you to marry me, and you carry my child. I will give you all the consideration you want, but on this one there is no negotiation. We share a room and a bed, what we do in the bed other than sleep, well, Honey that is entirely up to you.”

  Jenny could hear his firm resolve, the strong man coming to the fore, his gentle side now taking backstage to his determination. Jenny knew she would not win this argument.

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  Chapter Sixteen

  “As you wish, but nothing more than sleep will happen in that bed!” Jenny tried to sound convincing.

  “We will see, Honey. But then you will have to stop looking at me in the way that you do. That look of yours does things for my libido.” Ryan dawdled at her.

  Flustered and embarrassed Jenny made for the bathroom.

  “I am going to take a bath, and then I want to rest I’m tired.”

  Bowing his head slightly to her, he gave a chuckle and left the room. The room was suddenly empty, without his presence.

  Going through the drawers, until she found her things, Jenny took a pair of light blue shorts and a white cotton blouse, with lacy white underwear and she headed for the bathroom.

  He could not make her dress in the dressing room where he could walk in on her at anytime, if she did not want to, could he?

  She lay in the warm scented water, and admired the bathroom layout and fittings. She couldn’t have chosen better herself.

  The bath was a large oval jet bath, the shower flush with the floor tiles, enclosed by smoked glass, so wide and deep that there was no shower door. A corner of the shower had inlaid slabs, so a person could sit and shower if one wanted to, or Jenny deduce a lady could sit and then shave her legs, pure luxury. The colour scheme rich gold and copper off set with very light cream.

  The taps and fittings were also gold and white porcelain. A mirror covered the entire wall above the vanity and double basins, reflecting the bathroom. The lighting was subtly done by one large crystal light in the middle of the ceiling, with star-lights staggered across the rest of the ornate ceiling.

  Jenny could just imagine the dimmed lighting it would give the bathroom, like candle light, if the main light was off and just the small ceiling star lights were on. Jenny visualized her and Ryan enjoying the Jacuzzi in this private and romantic setting. These images conquering up dreams and desires she thought she could control.

  As she dried herself with the rich golden coloured bath towel, her eye caught the embroidery on the towel, it read, J&R, frowning Jenny could not think, surely not for
Jenny and Ryan, when would Ryan have had the time to arrange all this?

  She quickly dressed. As she dried her hair seated on a comfortable chair in front the huge mirror she admitted that this was much nicer than dressing in the bathroom. When Jenny entered the main bedroom, she saw Ryan at the window. He looked out onto the garden, speaking on his mobile.

  He became aware of her and turned to look at her, Ryan smiled briefly as he acknowledges her presence. But, continued the conversation and discussed a property development.

  She heard his annoyance at the call, she deduced from being disturbed. But, then his resignation when he acknowledges that he was needed on the site. Closing his phone with a snap, he concluded the call.

  “Ryan you don’t need to be here, you can go and visit the site. I’m not going anywhere.”

  He gave her a smile and said, “The site is in America.”

  “Oh. But you would’ve gone anyway, if not for me, yes?”

  Ryan did not answer her immediately but stood in front of her, his feet firmly planted his stance at ease but his eyes belaying his relaxed persona.

  “Probably, but I’ll see how things develop. Perhaps it can be postponed. Just until you are more settled, little one.”

  Jenny looked at him at the use of this new endearment and her hand went to her still flat abdomen.

  Ryan saw her movement, and gently took her in his arms; he slowly leant down and sensually kissed her lips.

  Jenny tried to resist the tug of desire she felt in her lower abdomen and tried to ignore the moist response to him. Her body was a traitor.

  Ryan persisted and kept his onslaught on her lips and senses. He pulled her blouse free from her shorts, his other hand made short work of the buttons, giving him free reign to caress her nipple, gently rubbing her aroused areola, then pulling and tugging, this shot darts of intense pleasure to her sensitive breasts. Jenny could not resist, she leaned into him, oh dear heaven, she missed him!

  Her legs felt like jelly as her body gave over to the sensation he was stirred up. As he picked her up and carried her to the king-size bed, Jenny found herself unable to voice her objection. Ryan placed her onto the bed with ease, coming to lay next to her. He placed tender kisses in the nape of her neck then he moved down, to her belly, he held her blouse open for his onslaught on her.

  Jenny groaned her need for him this was too slow. She needed it fast and quick. Ryan stilled for a brief moment, and then came back up to her mouth again.

  She felt his warm, fresh breath on her lips, as he whispered.

  “Say yes.”

  Unable to stop herself she whispered back, “Yes, oh yes, please yes!”

  He pulled her blouse back over her shoulders, but then left it there, imprisoning her arms. Though all she had to do to come loose was lift her elbows. Ryan looked at her wonderful body, her tummy muscles were still firm, but he could detect the slight swelling of her abdomen, hardly noticeable, if he did not know she was pregnant he would’ve mistaken it for the advent of her monthly cycle.

  He could not resist and kissed her abdomen finding it a turn on just knowing she carried his child. He never felt like this towards Natalie when she was pregnant with Andy.

  Ryan felt her stiffen as she felt his kisses, he quickly moved down, pulling her shorts and panty down, as he did so. His intimate kisses going down to the bushel of dark hair that nestled in the V between her legs.

  He’d always been able to gauge Jenny’s enjoyment of this act, but tonight cautious shyness had her involuntary closing her legs. He firmly, but gently pushed them apart again he continued to stimulate her, with his lips.

  Glancing up he saw that her eyes were closed, her finger caught between her lips as she unsuccessfully tried not to cry out. Her head slowly moved form side to side, her moans of pleasure escaped from her lips. He then moved in faster and deeper with his tongue, then he placed his hand across her abdomen and slowing moved down into her bushel, letting his fingers go in and out and down, her moistness and very essence on his fingers.

  Jenny felt her heart beat accelerate, and all she could think of was his penetration. She wanted him in her, hard and large, but feeling like silk. She ran her fingers up and across into his dark, thick hair. She wanted to pull him up, so that, that part of him that she wanted the most would be positioned between her legs.

  But, Ryan did not comply with her persistent hands instead he turned her over onto her stomach. Unclasping her bra, he removed it and slightly moved off her, she whimpered her objection at the loss of his touch, and heard him emit a soft chuckle as he came back, and gently lay on her.

  His legs between hers his strong flat abdomen covered her bottom, his hand came under her and grasped her breast, it fullness lay in his large hand. His thumb played across her nipple. His other hand caressed her across her ribs, over her hip, and slowly made it down the natural curve of her hip to rest on her V, his fingers then started a sensual exploration of her, his fingers first one then the other, his thumb stimulating her further.

  Ryan whispered his breath soft against her ear. “Do you like this, my little one?” His voice husky and out of breathe.

  “Yes, mmh, don’t stop.” Jenny groan, was that breathless voice hers?

  “I have to, but only for a moment.”

  His sounded just as desperate. Jenny felt him pull away from her, just as she wanted to turn back onto her back to see why he’d stopped, she heard the zipper to his pants, and the vision of what it held, moistened her already flowing womanhood.

  Ryan came back onto her; his entire lean body on her, his silken smoothness rubbing against her bottom. His hands were back at her breasts and her apex, his strong legs, push between her legs, and she opened them wider for him. His silken tip, teased at her opening, his breath, in her ear.

  Jenny lifted her bottom, to accommodate his hand and fingers that were giving her so much pleasure and in an effort to insight him to enter her. Her groans of pleasure apparently eked him on. He slid into her effortless and he filled her completely and fully.

  He rode her with a rhythm that had her whimpering with pleasure. His fingers joined his fully aroused penetration, as he pushed and stroked her very being.

  Her inner muscles closed around his hard erection, her warm liquid spilled onto and around him. Ryan’s fingers continued to tease her clitoris, she gasped as she experienced a dual climax as he simultaneously rubbed her deep within.

  Her cry of absolute pleasure resounded in the room, his cries joined hers, as he pulsated into her, and a continuous stream filled her.

  Then a last guttural groan of pleasure echoed from Ryan as his last pulsating fluid left his body. Jenny felt the continuous tremors of her own body until it felt as if she would blackout from the pleasure of it. Her arms and hands held on to his back tightly until the tiny after shocks of pleasure left her body.

  Ryan slowly turned onto his side and took her with him. He felt the intermediate contraction as she held him in her.

  He marveled at her strength. He held her tightly against him, her body curved into his perfectly. Even now, Jenny intermittedly contracted around him. Slowly he felt his erection go flaccid; Ryan hoped he’d breached all her defenses.

  Ryan was first to wake-up, they slept through the night, not waking for dinner.

  In her sleep she’d turned to him and Jenny lay in his arms her head resting on his shoulder. Her warm soft breathe on him. Her very scent teased his senses, he felt his arousal firm. She uniquely had this instantaneous effect on him.

  At last, she was exactly where he wanted her.

  But now to make it permanent, therein was the rub. Andy was staying with his parents for the week; he would take Jenny to visit the family, but for now he wanted her alone, just for himself. He had to work down her resistance and ensure that she acknowledged that she did love him. He knew that she still did, but in order to protect herself, she denied that which in it-self would help her overcome her depression. They had a beautiful life ahead he just ha
d to make her see it too.

  Jenny came awake slowly, and looked into her favorite emerald eyes, she smiled, but a look of doubt still marred her happiness. If only she could be sure that he loved her and only her, and that the child she was carrying was not the deciding factor for him. How would she ever know for sure?

  “Morning, Jen.”

  Leaning forward he gave her loving kiss, then Ryan raised himself and settled between her thighs once more she sighed her pleasure. But though he lay on top of her, most of his weight carried by his arms, he did not initiate anything instead he looked into her eyes with very serious enquiry.

  “We better get into the shower, or I will keep you in the bed for the rest of the day.”

  She had a feeling that was not what he was going to say, as he rolled off her, and lifted her into his arms. He made his way to the bathroom.

  Placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, he gave a light smack on her nude bum, and asked.

  “Do you want to use the loo first?”

  “No I’m fine, I’ll just brush my teeth first” This was getting just too intimate for her!

  Ryan had no such inhibition, and Jenny turned in confusion to the basin. Why was he pushing for such personal intimacies with her now? He knew how she liked her privacy.

  Ryan then went to the shower and adjusted the water temperature, as the water jetted out he made sure the temperature was just right.

  Then he came and stood behind her, she looked at their reflection in the mirror.

  “You know that first time I saw you standing at my gate, when you came for the interview, you had your head down, and all I saw was this thick luscious black hair. When you raised your head to look into the CCTV security camera I expected dark brown eyes. Every time I look into your startling blue eyes, I have the same sense of surprise.”

  “You never said anything before”

  “I know, I should have, but I aim to do better on the communications front from now on.”