Broken

by Tanille Edwards

  “Involuntary spasm.” I laughed. He laughed. He lifted his arm up and twirled me around. We were dancing our way up Prince Street.

  “I asked my parents if you could come on holiday with us,” he said.

  “Merek, I don’t know.”

  “I thought you might be having plans with your family. My parents said no anyway. I tried, though. Don’t look broken up. I, I was actually pissed.” He said.

  I smiled.

  “I think it’s too soon. It makes me nervous.”

  He kissed me on the cheek. “Don’t be nervous. Thanksgiving week, when they will visit my grandparents in Costa Rica, I only want to see you. I will see them Christmas.”

  “I might go to my grandparents’ house.”

  “Where?”

  “56th.”

  “All right.” He perked up a bit. I walked into the restaurant. Merek held the door for a couple coming out. I spotted Peter and his girlfriend right away. We had met the first day of school. Terri smiled and waved at me. She looked pretty. She had two braided ponytails, Pocahontas style, with ribbons at the end. Blue jeans, black suede pumps with crystals on the heels, and a hot make-up job.

  “Oh, my gosh, Milan.” Terri hugged me. “When Peter told me you and Merek were meeting us, I was soooo excited. I never see you around.”

  “Where have you been hiding? Hi, Peter.” I waved.

  “Hey, bro.” Merek gave a fist bump. Then he smiled at Terri.

  “Merek, this is Terri. Babe, Merek.”

  “Apparently they know each other. She knows everybody,” Peter said. Merek pulled out her chair.

  “I texted Cara to see if she was back in the city,” Terri said.

  “Yeah, she and Dimitri date,” Merek said. Could I least order before mentioning Cara?

  “Cool.” I turned my attention to the menu. Merek held my hand under the table.

  “Do you know what you want?”

  “Yes. Fries.”

  “Of course.”

  “And a plain chicken breast grilled on the side.”

  “I’m having steak, eggs, and fries too.”

  “Other than the red meat, yum!” I said. He looked at me funny. Peter called the waiter over.

  “They may join us.” Terri said. I seriously contemplated going to the bathroom and not coming back. Instead, I slouched down in my chair a little and yawned. “This table isn’t going to do,” Terri said.

  “They’ll bring another.” Peter scrolled through his text messages. Terri tucked her hair behind her ear. She tapped her fingers on his hand on the table. He shook his head. “Your girl coming to the concert before break?” Peter asked.

  “Where?” I asked.

  “I’m in,” Terri said. Peter kissed her hand.

  “Subscribe to My Life is the name of the concert. It is going to be at the Underground on the West side. Can you make it, baby?” Merek said.

  “I haven’t gotten my schedule for December. If there’s nothing in the book that day, yes,” I said.

  “I know you’ll try,” Merek kissed me on the forehead. This was a PDA brunch, huh? I laughed to myself. For a second, I had forgotten that Cara could potentially show up at any moment. I sent an S.O.S. to Sierra.

  Our drinks arrived. “What have you been up to?” Terri asked.

  “I don’t know. Work. School. Shopping,” I said.

  “You’re a model, right?”

  “I model.”

  “The sets must be amazing.”

  “Sometimes it’s grueling, but the outcome is well worth it. I do like it for now.”

  “What about later?” she asked.

  “I only pretend I have it all figured out. Truth? I haven’t even sent out my college applications yet.”

  “Yeah,” she looked at me funny. Kind of like I was weird or something.

  “I’m close.” Yeah, right.

  “Isn’t this the time to have them in?”

  “So are you taking AP Bio? I’m hoping to get in that class next year.”

  “It is pretty tough, tons of studying.”

  “I’m trying to pick up my Earth Science grades.”

  “Not one of my favorites.”

  “Hey, M. So we FINALLY get to see each other. Last week was such a nightmare, doll face. We’re on our way to the city. Just left Westchester, I think,” Cara texted. Like I felt bad about turning her down for shopping last week. Luckily, Lisa invited me for a spa day pre-shoot. Other than in the company of Frenchy, I’d been on a roll at avoiding Cara. It was all circumstantial. Though I had a bad feeling it was coming to an end today.

  The food had just arrived when my cell phone was under fire. “I wouldn’t peg you for an iPhone girl,” Terri said. Peter put his arm around her. “Simple, it’s Android or die,” Terri said.

  “No,” Merek said.

  “Is that why you secretly sabotaged my iPad?” Peter said. I could now see why she had ties to Cara.

  “What hogwash do you speak, Peter?” Merek asked.

  “You get weirder by the day, my friend,” Peter said. Merek took a picture of his food. Then he put his head to mine and took a picture of us. Then he took a picture of Terri and Peter. Once he’d shown me all the pictures on his cell, we began to eat.

  “I think we may miss you guys, we’re already eating,” I texted Cara.

  “Eureka! Lattes on our side of town. Our spot.” Huh. Our spot—meaning Sierra, Frenchy’s, and mine.

  “How is it?” I asked Merek.

  “Good. Are you hungry?” Merek said.

  “Yes,” I started in on my food.

  “What happened to the iPad?” Merek asked.

  “I left it in the room with her for five minutes, dude. Then, boom, stopped working,” Peter said.

  “I didn’t do anything. I looked at a few things on Etsy, but my mom called so I put it on his desk,” Terri said.

  “My dad investigated it. Suddenly it was a lemon. Never worked right again.”

  “Stop the sob story. He got a new one anyway.”

  “You know it’s funny to blame you,” Peter said.

  “Sorry to hit you up so late. Things are poppin’ over here. My cousins from Seattle are in the house. We stayed up so late last night,” Sierra texted. Clearly, she was going to be no assistance in getting me out of here.

  “I just got hit by Cara. She said we should meet them for coffee in the hood after we finish here,” Terri said.

  “Cool,” Merek said.

  “Bro, I think Tim is with his girl in the hood. I’ll hit him and see,” Peter said.

  “Maybe he can come through,” Merek said.

  “Tim’s with Melissa?” I asked Merek.

  “Yeah, princess. You look very pretty, by the way.”

  “Thank you.”

  “She’s pretty, like every day,” Terri said.

  “Stop. Every girl in school is pretty in her own way,” I said.

  “Please, you don’t have to act like that. Every girl with a band member sure is pretty.”

  “Milan, they just don’t make girls like you, do they?” It was right about then I zoned out of the conversation and into my full plate of food. All that talking and not enough eating.

  We were to make a clean getaway to the car, or so I thought. Somehow Merek had negotiated so that Peter and Terri rode with us. We all walked together to the car. I was sandwiched in between Merek and Terri. I didn’t say much on the way to the car. When I strapped on my seatbelt, I noticed Merek saying something about his song. I was definitely on a sinking ship. One day soon, I was going to have to tell him that I didn’t like music or something. Or I was going to start looking bad. “I’m sort of sleepy,” I texted.

  “Sleeping beauty. I wanted to tell you during lunch,” Merek texted.

  “What?” I texted.

  Conveniently, Merek started to pull out of the space. It was actually a pleasant ride home. I watched people—New York kind of people. I saw someone dancing on Park Avenue near 23rd. Not just any dancing, cl
assical ballet. Two girls danced and posed on the street. I watched them fade away in the passenger mirror. It was always fun to spy the fashions, some of what I’d seen recently at the shows and some from seasons ago. The trickle-down effect was interesting. High fashions soon became everyday a year or two later. Of course, some fashions were forever-ever.

  We arrived at the coffee spot in 20 minutes. Honestly, Merek was a good driver. I could see him teaching me how to drive. It was then, of course, that my mind interrupted with thoughts of my mother from last night’s dream. She signed he would be back now and again. I turned away from Merek. He parked the car. When it stopped moving, I opened the car door. He tugged at my arm. “Princess, wait,” he said.

  I smiled.

  “I want to tell you so bad.”

  “What?” I pinched myself a bit to focus myself. A grin opened his face up from ear to ear. He just looked at me. “Did you say something?”

  “You know.” What could’ve made him so happy to say?

  “Our six-month anniversary. Were you not remembering it?”

  “It’s not today.”

  “No, but soon. I … I’m fallin’ for you,” he said. I felt my eyes reach their maximum capacity in my sockets. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t know if I’d be fallin’. Today was a bad day for that. Merek’s face grew grim.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “Your friend and your brother are at the window.”

  “I’ll get out.”

  “I will come in soon. This space is no good. I have to go do my thing,” he said. I touched his face with my hand. He looked directly in my eyes. I would do my best not to hurt him. I would.

  “My space superhero can handle this. I’m confident.” I laughed.

  I really didn’t want to get out the car and stand on the curb with the wolves. Like everything else in my life, I did it anyway.

  “Oh, my god, M.” Cara threw her hands around me. Most of the time when I saw her around my own house, she partly ignored me. I guess today we were pretending to be best friends. I let out a deep sigh on purpose. Then I walked right past Dimitri. I noticed him roll his eyes at me. Politely, Terri and Peter met us at the door.

  “You people know what you want?” Terri asked. I stood aside as she gave Cara two air kisses. We all waited inside.

  “What up? Hanging with doll face today?” Cara said. They both looked at me and smiled. I smiled back. “Isn’t she like the prettiest girl above 57th?” Terri asked Cara.

  “Next to us, of course,” Cara said.

  “It’s true. No more pretty talk. Drinks and stories about your stay in Westchester.” I had to resist the urge to walk outside for fresh air. Were we supposed to spend the entire afternoon calling each other pretty?

  “Help!! I sent you an S.O.S., you know, the direst of texts. I had a dream about my mom last night. Now I’m paying for it. Coffee inside a living nightmare,” I texted Sierra. I was kind of annoyed at her. Or maybe myself. I was just annoyed.

  “I can guess which stalker this involves,” she texted back.

  “Plus my brother.”

  “He’s there.” I wondered if now she wished she had come. Melissa and Tim walked through the door. I’d never been so happy to see Melissa. Melissa looked Cara up and down. We double-kissed. “Melissa, you know Terri, right? She’s a junior.”

  “Fencing, fifth period,” Melissa said.

  “We’ve sparred a few times,” Terri said.

  “Today, we’re all on the same side,” I said.

  “Most of us,” Melissa said.

  “How is your friend from Westchester? You know Cara and Dimitri just got back,” I said.

  “Your brother, right?” Melissa looked over her shoulder.

  “Yes.”

  “Ouch.” I laughed, although I was confused at what that actually meant.

  “Cara, nice fur vest. My mom has one just like it,” Melissa said.

  “Thanks. How’s Henrietta, sugar?” Cara asked.

  “Call her and ask.” Melissa shrugged. “I came for coffee. You ordering?” Melissa continued.

  “Let’s go,” I said. Melissa and I headed up to the counter. We were now eight deep. She was dressed nicely. She had on a baby blue thin down jacket, black skinny jeans, and deep violet four-inch pumps. Her wavy hair was pulled back into a beehive-style up-do. It was retro chic. She had pretty side bangs that covered most of her forehead. They ended just above her perfectly arched brows. In the style department, she definitely had Cara beat. No feat there! And makeup, well, it seemed to be her forte. She had on a sweet, golden honey hue of bronzer, golden peach eye shadow, and what looked like Dior blackout mascara topped off with natural nude flat lip balm. I was beginning to like Melissa. We were really more like friends in passing. I only kind of knew her from junior year and seeing her around SH in the summer. Her disdain for Cara made her the kind of girl I wanted to know. Yet her dislike of Cece made me slightly offended.

  “Do you want to ride tomorrow?” Frenchy texted.

  “No, I have to shop for an anniversary present for Merek.”

  “Do it on Tuesday, so we can go together.”

  “Cara, you have plans Tuesday?” I asked her. I contemplated the ramifications of her thinking I wanted to make plans with her, but only for a few seconds. I had to know if Frenchy only wanted to hang because Cara was busy.

  “I might start interviews with personal assistants. I need a little help with the whole app process, finding apartments near my schools that will do. So many formalities. I want it all set before prom.”

  “Why?” Melissa asked.

  “It’s private. I don’t know you like that,” Cara said.

  “Kidding me?” Melissa raised a brow.

  “Sugar, please. Back to interesting topics. Dimitri and I are moving in together.”

  “Right.” Anyone who wanted to live with Dimitri was crazy. She certainly fit the bill.

  “I guess she is as foolish as she sounds,” Melissa texted me.

  “Play nice,” I texted back.

  “If you say so,” Melissa texted.

  “How long do we have to stay?” I texted Merek. I noticed all the guys huddled together in the corner. Oddly enough, Terri was in on the fun.

  “I haven’t had a café yet,” Merek texted.

  “Okay. Let’s get it and go in like 15,” I texted Merek.

  “Only if we all go. You, Sierra, Cece, and I,” I texted Frenchy.

  “That’s cool, if they want to come,” Frenchy texted.

  Two days later, I was in a mad frenzy to get ready for our anniversary. Merek’s band and his video phone were key. The gift was key. I was sort of torn. What could I get for his band? And if I did get him a gift for the band, would he ask me to go to more practices? I quickly scratched that off my list. Sierra had suggested I get him a watch. It’s like a grandpa gift. Frenchy suggested lingerie. That’s like a husband and wife. Weird. I asked Edna. She said he probably wouldn’t care because I was the most important thing to him. That conversation only freaked me out more.

  I couldn’t say I hadn’t thought of Noel. It was sort of haunting, in a way. The good news was that almost two full days had gone by without me thinking of him. I was trying to be more into Merek now. After all, he was “falling for me.” Even Noel hadn’t said that to me before.

  I brought Merek the sleekest, video smartphone at the carrier store. It had live video chatting, which Cece called Face Time. I upgraded my phone too. If he was going to send video journals, I needed them to be captioned. It was quicker. And I could stop pretending I knew what he was talking about when he asked me about what he said in his video journal. They were really hard to follow.

  After I bought the phone, I went to get the dress. It would be my first anniversary dinner. I had to do it in style. I found a snug black, strapless dress. My shoes were the real prize. Three-inch stilettos with golden heels, golden straps across the ankles, a black sole, and a pink bottom.

  I sat on the outfit f
or another two days. I told no one about it. It was only for Merek’s eyes. I crossed my fingers, hoping for no more hotel rooms.

  On the day of our anniversary, Merek picked me up in a Rolls-Royce limo. He was dressed in a black-on-black tuxedo with a black shirt and no tie. He was classic all around. We had a delicious dinner at a sweet French restaurant in the Theater District. Then we drove all the way uptown, somewhere on Riverside Drive, and parked with a view of the Hudson. We climbed through the moon roof and sat on the roof of the limo with our legs dangling in the interior. I’d never done that before. We held hands and cuddled for what seemed like the entire night. Then he dropped me off at home. I wore the ring he gave me and nothing else. It was the only appropriate jewelry.

  When he had dropped me at the apartment, I asked him to come in. I asked him to stay with me and send the limo home. We went back to my room. I sat at the window seat. He followed me.

  “Your anniversary gift arrives tomorrow,” he said.

  “This is my gift. Come.” I put his arm around my waist. I curled up on the window seat. He curled up and held me. We fell asleep watching the people on Park Avenue go by.

  Chapter 21 Home

  New York in the dead of winter was peculiar. I felt like I desperately needed the sunny skies again. I somewhat disdained the clouds, though I couldn’t say I’d never felt like that, cloudy and sad. There was a little ounce of hope you picked up in the crisp air when walking the winter streets. The sun was playing hide-and-seek today. Odd. Noel and I used to play hide and seek in the building on the lower floors in the weeks before he left. Either way, the playfulness of sun wouldn’t wash away the frost of the 20 degree temperatures.

  It was holiday break and it seemed like everyone in the world was away. Daddy hadn’t been home in almost three weeks. Not that it would make a difference if he were. I had spent the week of Christmas and the week of New Year’s with my grandparents. On the Avenue, it was all quiet at the apartment. Edna and I managed to watch two movies. I found myself savagely gobbling up the best handbags from the best SoHo shops. Girls with too much free time could be dangerous. I hadn’t gotten a text from Sierra all day. I was starting to really miss her and Frenchy. Merek sent me video journals daily. I was becoming one with him and his hotel suite and his brother, who sometimes added his two cents in on video.