Up for Forever

by Heather Young-Nichols

That’s where my focus remained, on the wedding, but each day that passed without talking to Adam was worse than the last. He’d been angry with me before but we’d never gone three days without talking. Not even before we started having sex.

  Flannery and I arrived at Linda’s house around brunch time as planned with an obviously pregnant Adele pulling us each into warm hugs. It was such an oddity to me the way they took me in along with Flannery¸ treating me like part of the family. Only moments before I’d still been harassing Flannery about her mini-argument with Cain that morning after he’d had the nerve to add her to his credit card so she’d have a way to pay for things when he wasn’t around. She’d scoffed, saying she should just get a job then she’d take care of herself.

  For the first time in a couple of years, I watched as Cain’s anger grew to more epic proportions. Once they got back together in college, he usually just went with whatever she wanted. That’s not to say they didn’t have little disagreements here and there, but over all they figured out how to fix things before anything got out of hand. Well, this morning, he lost his nut. Said he was sick of her fighting him at every turn on anything that had to do with money. That she needed to accept this new life or make the choice not to, which meant not being with him.

  I felt bad for her but she needed to hear it. She took the small piece of plastic and dropped it in her purse. There always came a point where one of them realized they weren’t going to win and this time it was Flannery.

  The four of us took a seat at one end of the table in the kitchen. It could probably seat eight if it needed to and I knew there was a formal dining room not too far away, but even with as large as the kitchen was, it still felt more intimate. Cain’s parents had enough money they could choose to live in a mansion the size of a small city if they wanted, but they didn’t. The kitchen was new and modern with stainless steel appliances, marble countertops with white cabinets, and the palest red subway tile backsplash. Linda had extraordinary taste.

  “So, what are we thinking?” Linda asked. Both she and Adele sat a legal pad in front of them for the detailed little notes we’d known they’d take. “End of summer?” Flan nodded. “Small, right? Cain was pretty clear on that one.” Again, she nodded. “Is something wrong, honey?”

  “Oh, God,” Adele groaned. “What did my brother do?”

  “Nothing,” Flannery laughed, bringing me into it as well. Even when Flannery was the one to mess up, Adele always assumed it was Cain. What she didn’t know was that her brother was pretty perfect when it came to his girl. “I’ve never planned a wedding before so I have no idea what I’m doing.”

  “Oh that.” Linda brushed her off. “That’s what we’re here for. We planned Adele’s wedding, with a coordinator of course, but we’ll take care of all of it. You don’t have to worry about a thing.”

  Adele nodded like a kid excited about Christmas morning. Man, she loved this kind of thing. “So I assume Kendra’s your maid of honor and Sam will be the best man. Anyone else?”

  “Well,” Flannery shifted in her seat like she’d grown uncomfortable. “My friend Ava and then Adam.” Her eyes flew to me at the mention of his name. I guessed that was why she’d grown so twitchy. I could handle his name.

  From there we settled on the date, in late August the ceremony would take place in the Dorsey’s backyard, which set Adele and Linda all a flutter with ideas on how to decorate. Flan and I were able to lean back and watch the magic happen, which is exactly how we preferred it. But then the best idea ever came to mind.

  “We should go to New York,” I said, breaking through their chatter. Once all their eyes fell on me I explained. “For the dresses. A girl’s weekend in New York. What could be better?”

  “Do you think your mom could make that, Flannery?” Linda asked.

  “I think she can only do the wedding. So either way she wouldn’t be there for the shopping. I’m in.” She sounded excited but only her best friend, me, could hear the sadness behind it. Shopping for her wedding dress without her mom would be rough for her.

  And that was it. One little idea to get four grown women giggling and cackling like schoolgirls.

  One thing that had changed about me since leaving home was that I’d made a best friend, which never happened back there. I knew how close Flan was to her mother and while a foreign concept to me, it was a big deal for her. So I knew I had to do something.

  We spent the rest of the day looking at pictures of flowers and cakes and just about everything else a person could imagine. No other decisions were really made. It was just to get ideas.

  Cain was already home when we got back and found him watching a baseball game with a beer in his hand. You wouldn’t think sitting around a table talking could be so exhausting but we were both beat.

  “How was it?” he asked.

  “Oh, just great.” I rolled my eyes playfully.

  “Yeah.” Flannery rolled over the back of the couch so that her head fell into his lap. Seemingly on instinct his hand brushed over her hair while she looked up at him. “Well, we’re getting married August twenty-second.”

  “Really?” He smiled down at her. She gave him one small nod. “Sounds like a great day.”

  We all fell silent. Watching them look at each other like no one else in the world mattered had me squirming as I stood there. My weight shifted a dozen times before Flannery pushed off and headed in the direction of her room.

  “I stink. I’m going to shower.” I waited until I could hear the water from their shower before I broached the subject that needed to be broached.

  “Ok, so, Cain.” He glanced over, probably wary of the way I was whisper talking. I knew she couldn’t hear me but I wanted to make sure. It was my plotting voice and they all knew it far too well. “We were talking about dress shopping today and I suggested we go to New York for the wedding gown and bridesmaid’s dresses.”

  “I’m not allowed to go to that right?” His face had this hopeful look that made me laugh. As if we’d want him there torturing us during the hours it would probably take to find the right one.

  “No, Cain, don’t stress. Boys aren’t allowed. But your mom asked if Jennifer would be coming and Flannery said she could only make the wedding trip. She didn’t say it but I think it’s a money issue. Anyway—”

  “I’ll take care of it,” he said just as I was about to suggest we make sure her mother gets to New York. Sometimes it got creepy how well we all knew each other. Finishing sentences or ideas was just the tip of the iceberg.

  “Well, I was thinking we could surprise her and I can go in on the trip.”

  “Don’t worry about it, Kendra. I’ll get everything worked out, I’ll talk to Jennifer. Surprising Flan would be great. She should have her mom there.” It was in moments like this that I really understood what Flannery saw in him. Why she’d set herself up for that life. It was only a quick moment. Fleeting and completely passing as soon as I thought it.

  Headed to my own room, I got to the hallway before the overwhelming need to turn and ask the question I didn’t want to ask took me over completely. I was like a dog with a bone. I had to know.

  “Hey, Cain?” That voice didn’t sound like mine. I cleared it softly twice before continuing. “Can I ask you something?” He nodded, not taking his eyes off the screen. “Have you talked to Adam today?”

  “Yeah … ”

  “How was his first day?”

  Cain stared at me. I’d known him long enough to know that he was deciding how much to tell me or if to tell me anything at all. Recently, as in the last few days, I found myself chewing on my bottom lip whenever Adam came up. This was no exception. I don’t know if Cain decided to answer because of or in spite of it.

  “It was good. He thinks he’ll really like it there.”

  “Good.” I sighed in relief like a mother sending her baby off to school the first time. “How’s he doing otherwise?”

  “Great.”

  My face fell. Not that I was a happy s
miling imbecile before he answered, but man, I wasn’t expecting that answer. “Really? He’s great?”

  “Yeah, couldn’t be better as far as I can tell.” Those hard-edged brown eyes stayed right on me. Not letting any movement go unnoticed. “Were you expecting some other answer?”

  “You know, Cain, you can be a real asshole sometimes.”

  Blowing past Flannery, who was standing in the hallway with a towel wrapped around her, I slammed the door to my bedroom as hard as I could before falling face first onto my bed. I think I nodded off for a few because when I opened my eyes I was still face down on the pink and brown comforter covering my bed with a throbbing in my back and there as yelling coming from the living room.

  “Why would you do that?” Flannery yelled. “That’s so mean.”

  “Flannery,” Cain responded in a tone that said he was trying to keep his shit together yet was still loud enough to make his point. “I’ve been where he is and when it was me, the last thing I wanted was for you to know exactly how miserable I was. If they’re going to work it out then they’re going to work it out, but I’m not getting into that shit.”

  She spoke again but it was in a much lower tone leaving me no idea what she said. So their argument was over. But the little I did hear made me feel worse than I already did. Adam was miserable. It was my fault. I’d chewed him up and spit him out. Not on purpose, of course, but I wasn’t sure that mattered too much.

  I blame my parents. They never socialized me right.

  Now I just had to figure out how to get my friend back.

  Chapter Eight

  We met with Cain’s mom and sister once more that week to finalize plans for New York. Flannery took care of getting ahold of Ava to be sure she could also meet us at the bridal shop, which should be fun. It’d only been a couple of weeks since we’d seen her at graduation but every cog had its job and without her around there was a missing cog. Linda made the appointment at the bridal shop I’d suggested. It was a really good one and I just knew we’d be able to find something distinctly Flannery there, while Adele made all the other reservations. Although both insisted that Paul would want us to take the company jet and since he runs the company, it would be fine. No commercial airlines for us.

  Linda and Adele really threw themselves into everything. Which I was thankful for as was Flannery because they had notes about details that neither of us would’ve even known to think of.

  And we got done early. It’d been an entire week since Adam spoke to me. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t completely curious about his first week of work, and how he was spending his off time since as far as I knew he didn’t have any friends in Grand Rapids. But Adam was a great, personable guy who made friends extremely easily so after a week, he probably had a bunch vying for his attention. Which led me to delusions of grandeur or at least, I hoped they were. In my head, I had him hooking up the way he had before we got together. Let’s just say Adam let loose when he got to college. But hell, so did I, and I won’t even discuss the things I’d heard about Cain and Sam.

  Oh my God, I wanted to stab my internal imagination with a Spork at the different scenarios it allowed to run rampant. I didn’t even notice that Flannery was talking to me the entire ride back until she got so annoyed she slapped my leg hard enough that I thought I’d have a little finger outline on my skin. It stung, but it also got rid of all those images.

  “What the hell?” I snapped out of la-la land.

  “You haven’t even been listening,” she said, keeping her eyes on the road. As the driver, that part was pretty important.

  “Sorry,” I sighed. “I’m sorry. I just … I don’t know.”

  “Thinking about Adam?”

  “No,” I said too quickly. She glanced at me three or four times without saying anything to get me to break out the truth. It worked. I hated that she had some weird power over me in that regard. “Ok, fine, yes. I just want to know how he likes work.”

  She sighed. “He loves it there so far. It’s weird for him to be a boss, having people under him, but he’s getting the hang of it.”

  “How often do you talk to him?”

  “Every day. He doesn’t know anybody there.” Suspicions confirmed. I hated to think about him sitting around that beautiful apartment alone. At least he was still talking to Cain, Flannery, and, I’m assuming, Sam. And I stand by my earlier statement that he’d have a gaggle of goofballs in no time flat.

  “Hey, do you want to start looking for apartments next week?”

  “Sure. I don’t think we need to meet with our wedding Nazis at all until after New York.” She pulled us off the highway toward home. “Oh, shit. I forgot to let Cain know we were coming back early.”

  “He’s not at work?” Not to mention, why would it matter? I had about twenty dirty things to suggest he might be doing in our absence but thought it best to hold them back.

  She shook her head. “They do summer hours on Friday so they only work a half day. Paul wants people to enjoy time with their families. I mean he works later and sometimes so does Cain but not always.”

  We took the stairs since we were only on the second floor. The elevator was hardly worth it unless you had your hands full. Security at the desk nodded as we came in because he knew us already from coming and going before we lived here.

  My phone beeped with an email, which stupidly made my heart jump. If he wasn’t taking my calls, he wasn’t going to email me, but a girl could hope. I checked while Flan got the door unlocked. It wasn’t Adam. And I didn’t have a penis that needed enlarging so I deleted the email. Following her in, she stopped short, making me crash right into her the way Cain had outside Adam’s apartment. She’s so small it’s too easy to trip over her.

  “What the fuck, Flannery. Is this a habit now?” Then I saw what made her stop short.

  Adam sat on the chair next to the couch where Cain lounged. Both drinking a beer, both watching the game on TV. He looked good. Too good. His blond hair was a little shorter, not as messy. I liked the messy but this was hot, too. He dressed in khaki shorts and a t-shirt that strained over his chest. Man, not seeing him had been the longest week of my life. His eyes burned into me with all the anger that hadn’t left him yet. Pretty sure only shock showed on my face but in that moment I wouldn’t have cared if everything showed.

  “Uh, hey, Adam.” Flannery’s voice expressed the uncomfortable feeling I think we were all feeling. “I didn’t know you were still here.”

  “Yeah.” He still didn’t look away. “Cain said you’d be gone until later.”

  “Sorry, dude.” Cain slapped his shoulder.

  “Yeah, uh … ” She moved further inside so we could shut the door. I went with her but my body moved without any direct order from me because my brain was not working. It was humming in a numb state just sloshing around in my head. “We got done early. I forgot to call. I’m sorry. This is my fault.”

  “That’s ok. I’ll head out.” He set the bottle on the coffee table, pushed off the chair, and made his way to the door. “Talk to you later, Cain.”

  Then he was gone.

  Without a word to me. Course I didn’t say anything to him either. But right away, I was pissed. I’m his friend. One of his best. How could he just ignore me like that? I needed to do something. Blow off some steam.

  “You guys want to go out tonight?”

  “Sure,” Flannery answered almost immediately. I knew she’d have my back.

  “That girl, Maddy from seminar, sent me a text about a party. Sounds like fun.”

  “Ok, Kendra. We can do whatever you want.”

  Around eight, I was ready and waiting in a definite “notice me” outfit. A skirt with a top that swooped down showing off an amazing amount of cleavage without looking slutty and a cute pair of sandals. The sexy yet sedated kind of look that had been garnering me attention since I was fifteen. Flannery came out in jeans and her converse but such a cute shirt that it made the outfit work. And this was just a party
. When Cain joined us in the living room, he grabbed his keys to let us know he was driving. We would’ve known anyway because he always drove when we went somewhere. I don’t think he trusted me behind the wheel although I’m an excellent driver and had never had an issue.

  The party was in full swing before we arrived. It took a full fifteen minutes to get all the way inside because there were so many people we knew from school. This was exactly what I needed. First stop was the bar, where I threw back a shot of something amber then handed one off to my girl. Cain stood just beside her with a beer in his hand. He’d gotten very used to how I acted when we were out.

  Maddy’s parties always had designated bartenders and a regular flow of alcohol—the reason I wanted to go in the first place. Flannery threw it back like she did it all the time. That’s the thing about me and Flannery, we were like sisters, something neither of us ever had, and we just knew what the other needed. If I needed to get drunk, she was going to be there doing it with me. We both grabbed a beer and headed deeper into the house where the party spilled into the backyard.

  The loud thumping music switched to the low melody of a make-out song. I saw Cain pull Flannery to him, swaying slightly while nuzzling down into her neck. Her eyes popped then she slapped his shoulder while laughing. I could only imagine what he said to get that reaction because while she may have only ever had sex with him, let’s just say she wasn’t unadventurous. I’d gotten more than my fair share of details from her as she had from me. And our old apartment was pretty small with exceptionally thin walls.

  “Hey,” a male voice said too close to my ear. His breath tickled down my neck and smelled like whiskey.

  “Hi,” I called back, turning to him.

  “I’m Puck.” Once we were face to face, I got a good look at him. He was decent looking. Just a hair taller than me with dirty blond hair and dark brown eyes, prominent jaw and full lips. Lips that advertised he should be a good kisser. We stood there talking for a few minutes until I decided it was time to be me. The me I was before hooking up with Adam.