Without Joy

by Calista Brace

  A small smile lit Lady Pandie’s face; she started talking to her snakes. “We're going to Devil’s Hills, the sharpest mountains in the kingdom. We will have to pass the Mountains core, the volcano.” She said in English.

  Amaryllis turned her head and stared at Lady Pandie in shock, she didn't dare move her body so not to wake Rowan. “We are going to pass the only volcano in the Continent of Grarien?” She asked.

  Lady Pandie gave a small laugh, “Not the only volcano Leben, don't forget the one on tiny Antier’s island, it is part of Grarien.” She said with a small nod.

  Amaryllis gave a little huff “That volcano hasn't been active for a year,” she said. Lady Pandie opened her mouth, and they started a huge argument on whether the Antier volcano counted as a volcano at all.

  It almost made me laugh at how this was so important to them when what we were doing decided the whole fate of the Continent of Grarien and its 6 kingdoms.

  I stared out the window as I saw the mountains start to come closer.

  Finally, when we got closer to the mountains, Lady Pandie and Amaryllis stopped there arguing to stare at the massive mountains that towered over us.

  The sun was high in the sky now, and Rowan started to wake up.

  Once we got past the first layer of mountains we stopped. I jumped out of the carriage to see what was wrong. The others followed me out in a single file line. I looked around, but I didn't see the drivers.

  “Something is wrong,” I said. I pulled out my usual sword. Amaryllis did the same. Lady Pandie whispered something to her snakes in a German tongue, and they slithered away. I saw Rowans little back stiffen.

  Amaryllis pulled out two small knives and tossed them to Rowan. Rowan inspected them and gave a little nod in acceptance. We all took our stance around the carriage, and the horses stood eating grass like there was nothing wrong.

  Zinnia was among the other horses, and her head was up in the air, and her ears were straight. She knew there was something wrong.

  Zinnias dark black coat contrasted against the light brown coats of the other horses.

  I heard a rustle in the mountains. My back stiffened. I felt my hair stand straight by the feeling of being watched. I looked over to my side, and I could see Amaryllis turn and look at me with wide eyes, she felt it too.

  The rustling sound grew louder, it was evident that they weren't trying to keep themselves a secret. They were ready for us; they were waiting, waiting for one of us to put down our guard so they could attack.

  I saw something white run around us. Amaryllis laughed but didn't put down her guard. Then the animal stopped. It stared right at me, something weird coursed through my body. I didn't move as it walked next to me and its white fur rubbed against me.

  I recognized it as the same animal that pulled Amaryllis out of the quicksand.

  It was a white fox, a rare but poisonous animal. The animal faced away from the carriage and let out a growl.

  It was deep and bellowed through my body. It echoed across the mountains.

  It's high pitched howl showed that it wasn't far away. I felt the cry come up my throat, I wanted to respond. I howled back, it was a noise I didn't think I could make. He kept wailing, and shivers ran down my spine.

  Lady Pandie had a bright smile on her face. “You're a bonder kind, you're supposed to bond with the white wolf,” She said. She sat down on the floor. I barely heard her as I listened for more sounds of the howls.

  I listened to a dragging sound. Rowan had her knives ready. Amaryllis looked slightly unnerved. I saw the white fox drag out a man. He was one of the drivers. He pranced up to me and let out a high pitch bark. He ran around me once and then ran away, he looked like a white blur. I heard his howls, and I knew it wasn't for me, it was for other pack members.

  Amaryllis had dropped her guard and was on her knees in front of the fallen driver. She had her head on his chest checking for a heartbeat.

  I heard the rustling again, then the high pitched cry of a woman. Amaryllis looked up I could see fear in her eyes. Men surrounded us; they all were wearing colors that would blend in with the mountains.

  Their faces were covered other than their eyes. One man set down the body of a woman; She was also one of the drivers of the carriage. It was obvious she was dead.

  They all took on fighting stances, There was so many of them, I didn't know how we would be able to take them all down. There were at least 30 men and women ready to kill us.

  Lady Pandie was nowhere to be found. I watched as the Lumine swarmed us. I could tell they were Lumine because of their stance and the symbol on their vest.

  Most of them had swords; other Lumine had flails, which was a short metal pole with a chain and a ball full of spikes hanging from it. These were deadlier and harder to defend with a sword with its mass.

  I saw Rowan's eyes widen at the sight of the flails, There was no way she could defend herself from those with two small hand knives.

  Five Lumine surrounded me Only one of them had a flail. I swiped to the left. I made sure I was quick and precise. I ducked as the man with the flail swung for my head. I expected this and cut for one of the men's Achilles tendon. If I cut this, then the man wouldn't ever be able to walk on his foot again. I got one. The man let out a yell, and I felt a swipe across my back as I stood up again. My sword clashed against the others, I could tell they were only halfway trained.

  I heard Rowan scream. I stabbed a man in the stomach, and he bent low in pain, I shoved him into the guy next to him and rolled out of the way. I snuck up behind the many men attacking Rowan; a couple littered the ground with slit throats. The girl was small, and she moved out of the way quickly and easily.

  Amaryllis was holding herself up well, but with only 2 knives Rowan was being cut down. I stabbed one of the men attacking her in the back quickly. The fight was gaining numbers and becoming unfair. The others who were initially attacking me joined the fight. We were outnumbered.

  I swiftly used my sword cutting them down. Wounds appeared on my skin. Adrenaline filled me temporarily slowing the pain.

  Amaryllis ran from the outside of the crowd and started attacking them from behind. I gave Rowan my sword and worked with the two small knives, I ducked and stabbed and sliced.

  One after another men were being cut down. Rowan was better with the sword than the knives. She was swift, and her small size made it easy for her to get away.

  Then we were surrounded, I only had one knife because the other lay implanted in one of the Lumine’s necks. Worry etched my face; Amaryllis had lost her sword during the fight and held a simple hand knife.

  “Stop” A man in the back yelled. “And you won't be killed,” he said. Amaryllis and Rowan stopped there fighting and set down their weapons, I pretended to set mine down and shoved it up my pant leg instead. The men didn't notice.

  I heard a high pitched howl in the distance. A small smile lit my face, I howled back, and many cries answered my call. The men looked around in confusion.

  “Stop it” One of the men yelled.

  My laugh answered his demand. I saw multiple white coats speed around like ghosts ready to haunt.

  You could never see their form as they circled the many guards. You could see the guards start to panic, One white fox sat on a boulder and watched as the others circled their prey.

  The fox on the boulder let out a howl, and I felt the need to cry back. I let out a loud howl. The other wolves growled at the guards. The guards turned their attention away from us to see around 10 white foxes staring at them with their green poison dripping from their teeth.

  “It's white fox’s; I thought they were a myth.” A man said. Others gasped while they got their swords ready. I grabbed my knife and attacked anyone not paying attention, Amaryllis and Rowan did the same.

  I felt the fox’s need to attack; they were waiting for my command. I let out a howl to let them know they should attack.

  The fox’s pounced. They were small but agile, their white fur s
naked around. The men screamed as the foxes attacked to protect us. Soon the venom of the Foxes had killed or paralyzed all the men.

  They circled us, their white tails wagging. Amaryllis laughed as the one that stood on the boulder came down to her and started licking her wounds.

  I saw Lady Pandie looking through the bodies of Lumine’s. “Where were you?’ I asked. She shrugged.

  “I was over there,” She said not looking at any particular direction. “Did you know that white fox is really named Fantome Fox, it was too hard to remember so people just called them a white fox. They are descendants of Arctic foxes, but they are more dangerous, and they stay in packs forever.” She said.

  “How do you know so much about white... I mean uh Fantome Foxes?” I asked.

  “I lived in Animaux, how would I not know about Fantome foxes kind,” She said with a small huff like it was unbelievable that it would ever be the case.

  I nodded and realized that most of the foxes were just cubs. There were only four adults. The one licking Amaryllis had another fox right next to him which I had to guess was his mate. There were 17 Foxes in all, I had totally miscounted when they attacked the Lumine. That means there were 13 young cubs. They ran into each other and knocked each other over. Rowan laughed as they chased each other around and chewed on each other's ears. They tripped over their paws that were too big for their body. The other two adults sat quietly looking at their cub's play.

  The fox licking Amaryllis came up to me and sat in front of me. His mate came and sat by his side. I set my hand on his head. I felt something coarse through my arm. The fox started to wag his tail.

  “That's Spirit,” Amaryllis said. She smiled down at the fox.

  I nodded it fit the Fox by my side. The fox turned around when I pulled my hand away and scolded the cubs who were sniffing the remains of the dead Lumine.

  They pranced over to some wild Rubin plant and started eating it. Rubin was what regular meat eaters ate instead of the flesh of something that had once lived. The Cubs chewed on it excitedly, devouring it. The adults soon joined them.

  Lady Pandie unattached the carriage from the horses. “No need for the extra weight if we can go twice as fast,” she said. Zinnia pranced over to Amaryllis, and the rest of the horses stayed away from the foxes but chewed on the fresh grass in the corner that wasn't covered in blood.

  We collected our weapons and chose a horse to ride on. We practically had to force a horse to trust Lady Pandie and her snake bonding. We rode for a couple more hours but the sun was sinking down from the sky.

  We found a large cave that was empty; it was cold in the mountains so we lit a fire in the cave. It left a glow that you could see on every wall. We tied the horses up outside, and the Foxes didn't mind wandering in to lay down and sleep or chew on rocks to sharpen their teeth.

  Finally, sleep hit me, and I lay down closing my eyes letting my dreams take me away.

  . . . . .

  The boy and I fought, we were only 10 years old, but today they had given us real weapons. Usually, they gave us wooden swords that would only leave bruises, but now we were given real sword, the kind that can cut someone.

  Sweat creased my brow, and I could see the worry that lined the other boy's eyes. He would be scolded for showing his emotions. The other boys and girls stared at us watching the fight that would soon begin.

  The guard blew the whistle to ready our weapons. The real swords were heavier than the wooden ones. He blew the whistle twice more to get ready to fight.

  The boy shifted his body onto his left foot, which showed me the way he was going to try to slice at my side.

  I faked towards the left which is where he expected me to go and instead spun around. He stumbled giving me enough time to get ready for his next attack. He spun, and I saw a small bit of frustration in his eyes.

  His sword took a slice, and I blocked him with mine. This went on for a few minutes.

  I heard a guard yell “What's going on boys, you call this a fight you're weak” I let out a small growl and shoved my sword forward. His arms shook in protest as I pushed my entire weight against it.

  He let go of his sword and went to roll out of the way, but all my weight was pushed against him. I heard the slice of flesh meeting the metal of the blade. I let out a gasp and backed away from the boy. He was clawing at his chest where the sword was. I bit my hands so not to let out a scream.

  The boy let out a cough and blood came out of his mouth. “No, No, No. No. No!” I yelled, backing up as quick as I could as the life faded from his eyes.

  The guards cheered, why were they cheering? I killed a boy! The other kids looked at me with fear and some of them nodded with understanding. I knew that some of them had already killed, but not me, never me.

  One guard patted my shoulder, “Good job son” He said. I stared up at him then pushed his hand away. I glared at the man and ran out of the room. I ran from the haunted eyes of the boy that I killed.

  I got to my sleeping chambers and slammed the door shut. I sat there for a long time staring at the ceiling; no guard came in to punish me for leaving the training room. They cared enough to give me my whipping later.

  I closed my eyes, and I could feel the brim of sleep close in around me.

  The boy's eyes stared into mine, his dead eyes. He spoke to me, “Why, Why? You killed me. You're a killer. You should have died not me.” His dead eyes spoke to my soul. I curled up in a little ball and covered my ears, but his begging for his life grew stronger in my head.

  I screamed and woke up. I was covered in sweat, and my breathing was ragged from the dream. I looked around the dark room and saw someone lying on the floor. It was Joy.

  She lay spread out on the floor with a small knife by her side. On the wooden walls was a giant carving of the boy I killed.

  I stared into eyes; instead of seeing blame and death in it I saw forgiveness and sorrow. A tear ran down his face in the carving, but I could see that he forgave me. But most of all it showed that Joy forgave me.

  I smiled and put the knife tucked away.

  XVIII Heart Of The Ocean

  Amaryllis

  I awoke, It was still dark outside, and the fire in the cave was starting to fade. The fantome foxes were together as a large group. Everyone else was spread out as they slept. The only sound was the soft flicker of the flames.

  I heard a soft bit of laughter. I followed the sound in almost a trance. Soon I was standing in a circle of trees.

  There were a lot of these in Tamer's forest. The big circle of trees shaded us from too much sun. It was perfect for family picnics. I sat down on the ground and remembered the last time I had a picnic with my family in Tamer's forest.

  Maggie had just turned 6, and I had been 5 for a month. Elm my twin brother sat right next to me.

  Though my father sat up tall and proper and still was wearing his crown on top of his thick black hair, he had a smile on his face you could never replace. You could see happiness shine in his brown eyes.

  My mother seemed more relaxed, and her bright green eyes flashed with laughter. She looked different compared to the rest of our family, with her Bright blond hair that Contrasted against our deep black hair. Though we did get her bouncy locks, there was no hint of blond in our hair.

  Maggie's hair was blond, and her eyes were blue even though nobody in our family had blue eyes.

  Maggie ran around chasing a butterfly. My mother laughed as she watched her. Elm and I fought over snacks. We would trick each other for all the sweets. My father scolded us though he did the same tricking us when we didn't notice.

  Soon I ended up chasing my twin brother for the last cookie. Maggie joined in because she was too busy chasing a butterfly to see that we had eaten all the cookies.

  Mother laughed so much she held her stomach. Father got up and started chasing us. We screamed and laughed and ran. Maggie tripped over a tree root and fell into a thick muddy part of the forest. Elm laughed so hard. Maggie swiped the cookie
out of his hand and shoved the whole thing in her mouth. It looked so funny to watch when she was covered in so much goop. The chase went on again until our father tackled us to the ground and we all fell covered in mud laughing as hard as we could.

  We wiped ourselves up and cleaned up the picnic. We walked back to the castle covered in mud. Every time people looked at us with wide eyes we would laugh.

  I hadn't noticed the tears running down my eyes. I heard a snap of a twig, and I quickly wiped away my tears and spun around.

  Lady Pandie stood and watched me from a distance. I motioned for her to walk over to me. Sometimes the old woman was just strange. She disappears in midair and reappears when she wants too. Though she spent the entire journey with us, it still felt like she was a mystery to me.

  Her snakes wrapped around her limbs, and she put a hand on my shoulder. “Don't cry Leben, We know you miss your sister, we understand. There is no need to cry, she is still with us, and she just doesn't know who she is.” She said.

  I pulled away from her, “What are you talking about, how do you know about my sister and who is we?” I demanded. I never spoke about Maggie to anyone.

  She shook her head. “Leben you have so much to learn, you will learn soon, we promise.” She said. Then she turned around and walked back to the cave.

  What did she mean, how did she know about my sister and who was this ‘we’ that she talked about?

  I walked back to the cave, but Lady Pandie was nowhere to be found. The sun was starting to rise in the sky. The Fantome foxes awoke first, and they jumped over people in a playful chase until everyone else was bound to wake up.

  Nate stayed his distance, but I could feel his eyes on my back. He was doing this lately, watching me, like he had something to worry about.

  Rowan walked up to me and grabbed my hand. Maggie and I used to hold hands, my brother would never take my hand saying that it was a sister thing.

  I took in a breath and let out a small sigh. Rowan looked up at me with her big blue eyes. I bit my lip remembering eyes exactly like those, but I was the one to look up at Maggie. I felt blood on my tongue, and I let go of my tight grip of my lip. I let the memories go and shoved them in a box deep inside.