Without Joy

by Calista Brace

  I nodded. “Thank you,” I said. I looked at the globe, and I saw only one word on it with an arrow. It wasn't a word at all. It was a name. Petunia. It said.

  “The arrow points to the direction of the Whispering Willow,” Said Amaryllis.

  “Then that's where the war will be,” I said.

  I turned toward The Queen of Ozeana. “Take your bravest troops to The Whispering Willow, and have your fastest travelers tell every kingdom where the war takes place. Other than Structane, we will alert them,” I said.

  She nodded. “With my fastest swimmers, it will only take four days to get between kingdoms.” I nodded and thanked her while setting the globe in my satchel.

  I turned towards Amaryllis “We have one more kingdom to warn. I know the Queen of Lumine set up some traps, It would never be this easy so stay on guard.” I told her. She nodded, and I looked at Rowan to show her she was part of our team too. Rowan nodded also.

  As we left the room, I barely heard the soft words that came out of Queen of Ozeana’s mouth. “The Dark Ages are coming, and death will soon follow.”

  XXV Getting Ready

  Amaryllis

  The next Rangers ship would only be ready in an hour so we helped them load it up with supplies. I felt much better than I normally did.

  The necklace had drained me. I could still feel the slight pull of it. I would never touch it again never wear it until I was on my death bed.

  The ship was much smaller than the other one we had traveled on the way here. That didn't bother me because we were promised. It would be a faster trip. By the time we warned Structane and Queen of Ozeana had told the other three kingdoms where the war would be it would take twelve days. It may even take an extra ten days to round up all of the newly recruited troops without the Lumine knowing.

  Did we even have that much time? Of course, we did, if I learned anything about my enemy is she is patient, and she doesn't care about how long she waited if she has the right plan.

  That is what scared me. What if she does have the right scheme?

  As I helped load the ship, my mind brought me back to when Nate took the necklace off my neck.

  I felt surprised now that the necklace was gone. The kiss also felt right. I had never kissed anyone before. I don't think it counted because I didn't kiss him back. I instantly tried to stop thinking about it. I could feel the blush start to creep up on my face. The kiss meant nothing; it was just a distraction so he could take the necklace off, but why a kiss?

  Finally, we finished loading the ship. It took a little longer than we thought. We got on the ship. I walked across the deck as I watched us drift away from shore.

  I felt someone grab my arm. It was Nate. I looked down at the floor.

  He looked slightly confused. I looked back up and lied. “I thought I saw a little critter” He nodded, but I don't know if he fully believed me.

  “I'm just here to say the captain said our trip may be delayed by a day or two.” He said.

  I let out a small sigh “Alright, but tell him we don't have much time.” He nodded.

  “Okay,” he said then walked away.

  I sat and watched as the land disappeared into the distance. It was beautiful. How the waves rolled and the boat traveled. The water was white underneath the vessel. The rocking from the water would have calmed a crying baby. The boat was like one large cradle in the sea. Rocking and calming the distressed and even putting some to sleep.

  I smiled a little at the thought.

  A lot of people used to tell me my smile was a lot like my mother's. Well, when she used to smile. Her smile used to light up a room. You could tell it was real when it didn't just spread from her mouth, but it also went to her eyes. You could feel her happiness coming from her.

  She doesn't smile anymore. If she does, you could tell it is fake because it didn't have that glow that her smiles used to have. Her happiness was drained when Maggie went missing. She didn't know Elm, and I needed her to hold us up.

  We had to do that ourselves. There was nobody there to help us keep our heads up and show us that life was not so bad. It was something we learned to do. Children should never have to see the worst parts of life without the help of someone else, but we did.

  Someone tapped my shoulder breaking me out of my state of thought. I turned around to see little Rowan. She was so short. Her blond hair and blue eyes were beautiful. She reminded me of my sister if she would have grown up to be Rowan's age. Rowan seemed to be like her. Of course, Maggie would be 19 now not Rowan's age. It still made me feel like Rowan was my sister. I guess she would always be in my heart.

  My 18th birthday had passed sometime in the trip. I didn't know when because we didn't have a chance to count the days All I know was it was in the middle of the journey probably around Radian. I shrugged. Not many people celebrated Birthdays anyways. You would just recognize how many years old you were.

  Rowan stood in front of me, “Hello? Where are you Amaryllis? In a world of thought? Snap out of it.” She said.

  “Oh sorry, what was it that you needed Rowan,” I asked looking down into her blue eyes.

  She frowned, “I don't need anything, just wanting some company. I haven't had any friends in a long time. Well since I lost my parents.” I saw her eyes start to tear up.

  “You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to,” I said stroking her hair in a motherly way.

  She shook her head, “No, no I need to talk about it. I never talk about it to anyone. I need to let it out.” She said.

  I nodded. She let out a sigh. Then she sunk to the ground like it was too much to stay standing while talking. I sat down next to her.

  “I was over at my best friend’s house. Her name was Elizabeth. My mother told me not to be late to get home. We were going to paint the living room with beautiful paintings. We did this every month. Radian loved to make traditions like these. People often love the art on the outside of Radians buildings. Most people don't realize that most the art was displayed on the inside. Well, at least the emotional ones.”

  She bit her bottom lip and continued. “I was late because I didn't keep a good track of time. Elizabeth and I were playing with the wooden toys her mother built for her that afternoon. So I hurried home. I went in the house, and my mom gave me a disappointed look. She told me ‘I thought I told you not to be late, you have to learn to listen to Rowan.’ she had looked so disappointed. I huffed at her and threw a huge fit. ‘Mom you can't take away my fun, I can do what I want.’ I told her, I was so mad. She had said to me. ‘How about until you learn to listen you can't go to Elizabeth's house’ I got so mad I couldn't even think straight. ‘That's not fair it's not right’ I had yelled at her. The next words I said were ones that I regretted. ‘I Hate You, I hate you all!’ I yelled.” Rowan stared at a blank spot in the sky as she spoke.

  Rowan looked at me with big sad eyes. “Someone started pounding on the door. I could see the hurt on my mothers and fathers eyes for what I had said. My mother told me to hide. I was confused, but I got in the closet. There was a peephole in the door, so I decided to watch what was going on. My mother looked so panicked. My father opened the door, and Lumine guards burst in. ‘Where is the child’ one said. My mother told them that I had gone out to the market. The men answered back that they had seen me come in only a few minutes ago. My mother said I went to the market through the back door. Then the man told the others to kill them. My mother let out a small cry. I let out a silent scream, but no sound came out. I had run out of the closet thinking maybe if I gave myself to them they wouldn't kill my parents” Rowan said tears streaming down her cheeks.

  “You don't have to continue,” I said. Rowan shook her head but didn't say anything.

  “They made me watch. They killed my parent’s right in front of me. We were supposed to paint the wall but the only thing that painted the wall was their blood. The last thing I had told them was that I hated them. I didn't mean it, but now they will never know, I love the
m so much. I will never get to tell them that” Rowan said tears streaming down her cheeks. “I will never get to see them again, hold them again. They made me watch them die. Why would they do that to me? The worst part was when my mother stared at me with so much love and pain. I- I never got to tell -” Rowan sniffled. She put her head on my chest, and I stroked her hair. Tears streamed down my cheeks with her.

  “The worst part is my older sister was sleeping at her friend's house. She would come home the next day thinking we were all dead. Seeing my parents like that. I - I don't even want to know how she felt, it must have been horrible. And not even knowing why.” Rowan said. It was a little muffled through my shirt.

  We sat there for a while just crying. Nobody disturbed us. I felt Rowan's pain. I never had to watch anyone die, but I saw them take my sister away. My sister was so much like Rowan. It was almost unbearable.

  She fell asleep on me like that. Tears dried on her cheeks and I dared not to wake her. I sniffled and crawled out from underneath her. I put my cloak on top of her and left her there. I hope nobody disturbs her.

  I walked into the small room I was to sleep in. There was a large mirror in the corner. How could the Queen allow our presence? The journey had rubbed off on us. The filth was stuck to my skin. I could see it in Nate’s brown hair. He still looked beautiful even covered in muck.

  I shook my head. I was tired; I hadn't slept in a while.

  The large mirror showed it with the lines under my eyes. I looked even closer in the mirror; there was something different from what I usually looked like. There was happiness that was in my eyes, more than I usually ever had. It was almost impossible to tell, but there if you looked really close, you could see happiness dancing back and forth ready to form a smile.

  I smiled and lay on my small bed and let my eyes close, it had been a long day. Tomorrow would be even longer.

  . . . . .

  Tears streamed down my face. I ducked my head down and caressed it in between my knees. I heard a noise coming from down the hall. I instantly fell quiet. I didn't want to have anyone see I was crying.

  I was 13 years old. I was hiding down in my secret sculpting room. I had realized there were many abandoned passageways through the castle. I had claimed them all to myself. This room was connected to my bedroom. I had carved a hole in the wall and in my wardrobe to get in and out.

  I heard my brother call my name. He must be in my room. I got up and crawled into my closet shutting my secret door behind me. I wiped away my tears and sat there just in case he found me.

  The closet door opened. My brother looked down at me. “What are you doing in your closet Amary,” He asked.

  I crawled out. “It's not a closet Elm, It's a wardrobe” I dusted off my pants.

  “Wardrobe Closet, what's the difference.” He said shrugging. He looked into my eyes. “You have sad eyes Amary.” He said.

  I shook my head with defiance, “I do not.” He shrugged again.

  Then a smile lit his face. “I know just the thing Amary” He pulled my hand, dragging me to my sitting room.

  “Make a flat piece of wood about this big,” He said extending his arms out to show how big he wanted it. “And this broad. Then drill two holes on each side.”

  I nodded but still didn't quite know what he was trying to make.

  “I will be right back,” He said running out of the room with excitement on his face. He came back by the time I was done, with leaves and sticks and dirt in his hair.

  I laughed at his appearance. He inspected the wood then nodded. He grabbed my arm dragging me and the piece of timber to where he wanted us to go. He had a large rope attached to one of the tallest trees near the kingdom. The second tallest tree was only 10 feet away.

  He attached the piece of wood to the rope. He had to climb up around 15 feet to even reach the rope that dangled straight down.

  Then he grabbed the piece of timber and rose higher. He yelled down at me “Get in the other tree” I nodded and climbed up to around where he was in the other tree. The rope swung the piece of wood towards me, and I grabbed onto it holding it up. He climbed out of that tree and climbed up the one I was in.

  He held the swing. “Get on it,” He said.

  I turned to him with a look of disbelief on my face “Are you crazy, this is so unsafe” I said.

  “Yes, and I know, that's the point just get on.” He said with a huge smile.

  He held the straining rope up for me while I climbed on. I was at least 25 feet in the air.

  “Jump at the end,” He said. I nodded, but in my head, I screamed no.

  He let go of the rope and a scream let out in my throat. I watched the world rush by. I let go of the rope at the very end. I was falling 25 feet from the air. My hair went straight up, and my breath rushed out of my lungs. This was my death I thought.

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and then… Splash. I realized I was in the lake.

  I swam up to the surface. Then I laughed. I laughed so hard that I cried. It was so much fun. I saw Elm get on the swing himself after it swung back towards him. I watched as he flew so far. It looked so hard and so fun, and it really was.

  He splashed in the water getting me soaked again. I laughed more and so did he when he surfaced.

  “You scream like a little girl,” I told him. He lifted his eyebrows in a challenge.

  He splashed me with water. I was shocked. I tackled him. We were laughing so hard once we were done.

  “You want to go again?” He asked. I shook my head no and turned my face of one of seriousness.

  His smile fell, and I got out of the lake. I turned around stuck out my tongue and smiled again. “Just kidding of course. Race you there” I yelled behind after I was already running.

  “Hey, no fair” I heard him yell. I laughed. We swung on the swing all day and played in the lake. By the time we were done, it was dark, and I could barely move my legs. We walked in the kingdom soaking wet in our clothes. Neither of us cared. I even forgot about what I was crying about. I looked in the mirror and saw happiness on my 13-year-old face and not a single bit of sadness to linger. I forgot all my worries.

  XXVI Starting A War

  Petunia

  We marched our way down to the land of the Whispering Willow. It was a dangerous place to be. Now it was thriving with energy.

  The ground that was the border line was charred from the fire. Many times they had tried to burn down the Whispering Willow but every time was a fail, and instead, it only grew more. Through the times they tried. Many people thought it was a strange magic. Some thought it was the curse. Some didn't believe there was anything strange about the tree other than its capability to grow so big.

  I thought the first two mostly. I had lost many soldiers to this tree, and I’m one to believe in magic. I stood here, many were afraid to go in and pass the borders. The borders were a scary place. Those who go in face their worst fears, worst moments in life, strongest regrets, all the evil in them and sadness. Until it swallows you whole and makes you feel lost. Then after it takes away your strength, you're so weak you're defenseless so it takes your soul. Then you're stuck wandering with Willow until your soul fades away.

  I took a deep breath and stared at the thick burn line. The tree was more branches and leaves more than the actual tree. The trunk was so thick you could fit two huge family houses inside. The rest of the miles of land was all its branches and leaves.

  I knew the ground was full of roots going everywhere to hold it up.

  Or maybe it just stood up because of its magic. I really didn't know. I had been fascinated with this magic since I remembered. It was a perfect place for war, if all their warriors got lost to its magic. Well at least some of them would get lost.

  I stared at the line. I felt so scared. I didn't even remember the beginning half of my life.

  Maybe I would go past this line another day, just not now. I would wait here while my men gather more troops. Then I will tell them what to d
o.

  I knew I would have to face my fears of the past after that. That could all wait, as long as we were still ready.

  XXVII Du-Dum

  Nate

  Rowan walked up to me as I stared at the water going around the ship.

  “Do you know where Amaryllis is?” She asked. I didn't turn around.

  Why do you need her?” I asked back.

  “I have her cloak,” She said. I turned around, and she held it up. I grabbed it out of her hand and rubbed the fabric in between my fingers. It reminded me of Amaryllis’ eyes. How they twinkled every time she laughed and the way they held all her deepest secrets and sadness.

  I smiled at the cloak.

  “Hello dreamy,” Rowan said waving her hand in my face. I looked at her, and she had an exasperated look on her face. “So are you going to deliver that cloak back to Amaryllis,” She asked rolling her eyes.

  “Yeah I can do that,” I said. She nodded, but I can see the sassiness still linger in her eyes.

  “Good because you never answered me and took the item out of my hand so I guess that is an open suggestion for you to deliver it to her,” She said more to herself than me, then walked away.

  I nodded to myself. I went to the indoor part of the ship. It was a pretty good size for a luggage boat. Usually, the inside of a luggage boat was way smaller than the scale of the deck where most the luggage is carried. This ship was almost even between the two sizes.

  I found Amaryllis’ room only across the hall from mine. I opened the door to see if she was inside. She was lying on the bed, clearly asleep. There was a smile on her face. I smiled at her. I wondered what was going on in her head.

  Then her smile fell. Emotions played on her face. She started to cry. I went up to her bed.

  “Amaryllis wake up. It's just a dream. You are alright. You're safe now.”

  Her eyes opened, and she looked up at me with fear. Her eyes cleared when she realized where she was.