She wasn’t dying. Not yet.
“You had a small anxiety attack.” Riley said from the floor where he still held her, both arms wrapped tightly around her. “It’s going to be all right.”
But it was far from all right, and she realized it.
Her husband the Marine was helping her through an anxiety attack. Something wrong with this picture. Clearly she wasn’t cut out for this lifestyle. Being the wife of a deployed Marine was about being alone all the time, longing to be reunited, making friends with the other wives, and staying away from the news reports. It wasn’t about loving someone so much you couldn’t stand to be apart. It wasn’t about being needy and weak. It wasn’t about being a coward.
But once you’d had a front row seat to the devastation of such a loss, it wasn’t quite as simple, either.
“I can’t do this anymore,” she said through a choked sob.
She could feel him draw in a quick breath, her only indication that he was as affected by all of this loss as she was. And deep inside, she realized the last thing he needed was to be worried about his weak wife back home, when he should be worried about staying alive. The one thing she could do for him now, maybe the best thing of all, was to leave.
“Don’t do this, baby. I have a job to do. I know you didn’t sign up for this, but I did. You can’t ask me to back down from a fight I intend to win.”
She didn’t say another word, but waited for him to remember that she’d already had one significant loss in her life with Mama’s death. Hoped he would understand that if he’d picked her, if he loved the needy woman she was, he might have to cut back some on his warrior ways. Just a little. Instead, they both sat on the kitchen floor, his back against the cabinets, her back against him. He held her for a long time, pressing his face into her neck, wiping away her tears.
But he never once said he wouldn’t go.
Two weeks later, Sophia was on a plane to California. And so almost as quickly as it had started, her love story with Riley was over.
Chapter 12
During an evening dinner rush the following week at Giancarlo’s, Tristan from Zuzu’s Petals delivered a bouquet of red roses to the kitchen.
“Sign, please.” He handed over the clipboard to Sophia as he usually did.
“Who do we think these are these from, Lizzie? Is poor Marco still trying to get you to reconsider?” Sophia asked. “He called me the other night and I told him he should just tell you how he feels. Honestly, we had a good long talk about it. Like a couple of girlfriends.”
Lizzie gave a full-on eye roll. “Please do not encourage him.”
“Look at the card. Maybe they’re for me,” Angie said from the mixer. “I went out with Justin last weekend and I thought we had a pretty good time.”
“They’re for you.” Tristan pointed to Sophia and was out the door.
“Me?” Had anyone ever sent her flowers to the restaurant besides Daddy-o on her birthday and Valentine’s Day? Her birthday wasn’t for another four months and Valentine’s Day wasn’t till next month.
“Let me see the card.” Lizzie nearly knocked over a plate of fettuccini trying to get to it first.
“No!” Sophia, beautiful arrangement in her hands, took the card off before anyone else could read it.
The card read only: Love, Riley.
He’d always been a man of few words. But he’d also never sent flowers. Ever. Sophia looked up to meet Lizzie and Angie, forming a full frontal attack on her. Each with hands on hips, eyes wide and expectant. Obviously hoping someone from the dating service she never finished signing up for would have seen her photo and fallen madly in love.
“From Riley,” Sophia said and handed the card over to Angie.
“Love, Riley!” she announced, then turned the card over. “That’s it?”
“Nothing more?” Lizzie took the card. “Makes no sense. What’s the occasion?”
“There is none,” Sophia said, shaking her head.
“Unless…” Lizzie began.
“Holy Toledo, you slept with your husband! Didn’t you?” Angie squealed.
“No! What makes you think that?”
“Did you happen to leave something out? Because sometimes a man is quite grateful the morning after.” Lizzie grinned, the face of a woman who knew about this kind of thing.
“I didn’t sleep with him.”
“Why not?” Lizzie pressed. “It’s been a long time for you and he knows you. Knows what you like. How to please you. Maybe you could just give him a little pity fu—”
“I am not going to sleep with Riley!” When two of her waiters turned and raised their eyebrows, she got quiet. “We’re not talking about this.”
“Why?” Angie said, shushing her voice. “Are you afraid? Are you a chicken?”
Lizzie and the waiters laughed. Sophia did not. When Angie started clucking, arms tucked under her like a chicken, Sophia left the kitchen out the backdoor. Her friends were so not helpful. She pulled out her phone. She didn’t have Riley’s new cell phone, so she tried the station. It was late, but knowing the way he put in the long hours he might still be there.
“Chief Jacobs, please.”
“May I tell him who is calling?” an annoyed sounding woman asked.
“Sophia Jac—” Whoops, well there’s a mistake she hadn’t made in a long time. She’d almost said Jacobs. “Sophia Abella.”
“Hold on, Mrs. Jacobs,” the idiotic woman said. “Looks like he just got off the phone with the mayor. I’ll put you through.”
She supposed she was to be impressed by that. “Thanks, but I’m not Mrs.—”
“Jacobs,” Riley answered the phone.
Sophia sighed. “It’s me. Why did you have these delivered to my restaurant?”
“What did they deliver? It was supposed to be a dozen red roses.”
Sophia sighed. “Yes, that’s what I got. But why did you send them?”
“I thought you liked red roses.”
So he remembered and it hadn’t been a lucky shot. Red roses were Mama’s favorites too. She said they meant romantic love and when a man sent them a woman she should sit up and pay attention. Kind of like a mating call, so to speak.
“I do and thank you. They’re beautiful but … now everyone thinks that we’re …”
“What?”
“You know.”
“No, I don’t know. It’s why I asked.”
She took a breath, made sure no one was eavesdropping, then whispered into the phone. “Having sex.”
There was silence on the other end, then the sound of a door shutting. He did not whisper. “Is that such a bad idea?”
“Yes! It’s a horrible idea. I don’t even know why you’d suggest it.”
“Well, you were the one who brought it up, but you’re right. It is a bad idea.”
She blew out a breath. “Wait. It is?”
“Go out with me,” Riley said.
And there again was part of the problem. Still not a damn question. “I think you’re trying to ask me something. Are you?”
He cleared his throat. “Would you go out with me?”
“No!”
“C’mon. You said you want to start dating again.”
“I didn’t mean you.”
“It would just be dinner. No sex.”
“Of course not.”
“That’s what I said. And I mean even if you beg me to do you, it’s not going to happen.”
“I am not going to beg you to do me!” She shouted.
The backdoor opened at that moment, Raul coming out with the trash. He simply turned around and went back inside, barely smothering a laugh. Sophia slapped her forehead and moaned.
“So what do you say? We haven’t had a chance to catch up.”
“You work all the time.” Quite familiar territory as a matter of fact, only this time he didn’t work in a war zone.
“So do you. But other than work, I’m free Monday.”
“Fine. I’ll have
to check my babysitting schedule. If I’m free and have nothing else to do at all, then I guess I can go to dinner with you. Just dinner.”
“What can I say? I’m honored. I’ll walk over at seven.” With that he hung up.
Sophia stepped back inside the kitchen. The minute she did, all talking stopped. Angie turned to her with a big smile. “Everything okay?”
“Sure.”
“Who exactly are you not going to beg to do you?” Angie asked.
Sophia glared at him.
He merely shrugged and moved to take the trash out.
“We have got to institute a ‘no gossip’ policy in this kitchen. Whatever happens in the kitchen stays in the kitchen.”
“Ooh I like it! C’mon, dish.” Angie said, stirring a sauce. “What did Riley do now?”
“Nothing much. He asked me out to dinner. Just to catch up.” Sophia slid a loving look at the garlic bread, one of her favorite comfort foods. She’d love to have a big chunk of Angie’s buttery garlic bread right about now, all the crunchy crevices filled with chunks of garlic and creamy butter. It was better than sex. Well. A good replacement, anyway.
“That’s nice,” Angie said. “You two should be friends at least.”
“That’s what I’m thinking. No point in being angry forever. Right?”
“Right. So…the sex thing. That was just your way of making it clear there would be no sex after the date?”
“Yeah. He agreed. Said he wouldn’t have sex with me even if I begged him.”
“Really.” Angie’s nose wrinkled, as it always did when she was thoroughly confused.
“Okay.” Sophia smiled. “Good talk.”
It was Saturday night, the restaurant would soon be hopping and she had to get out among her guests and start entertaining. After all, Mama would have never let something as trivial as a date with her husband get her off her game.
Sophia didn’t freak out about dressing for her date with Riley. Come Monday, unfortunately free of any babysitting duties, she started to get ready shortly before seven. How comforting to go out with someone that she didn’t have to impress. This was Riley. He’d seen her at her worst already, so why bother trying to hide the spots? She showered but wore her most casual jeans and fisherman’s sweater. Maybe she should have asked, but she didn’t expect they would be going anywhere fancy. Not for two old friends catching up. Riley would probably save the expensive dinners for women with whom he had half a chance of getting laid.
He was at her door at precisely seven o’clock, the ever punctual Marine. Hershee growled and snarled again, but Riley bent down and gave her a cookie. “Here.”
Hershee trotted off with the cookie, all thoughts of protecting Sophia right out the window when presented with a food offering.
“She’s some guard dog.”
“Don’t be too hard on her. She can tell I’m not going to hurt her.”
“Where are we going?” Sophia grabbed her purse and keys. She’d noticed Riley had dressed casually as well, which was a relief. He wore dark jeans and what looked like a button-down under his black leather jacket. The ever-present dark biker boots.
“I thought we’d stay in town.”
Great. Now everyone would see them and they’d feed the gossip mill. But at least this way the evening would be finished sooner. “Fine.”
“Mexican food?”
“Casa Sanchez.” It was one of three in town and her favorite. No reservations required and a great bar where they made the best margaritas in town.
The night was dark and cold, clouds covering every star in the velvety sky. Riley, of course, had to open the passenger side door for her. But in addition to that, he grabbed her shoulder seat belt and leaned in as if he would buckle it himself. This was an old habit, and while she used to find it endearing and protective, it now seemed controlling. She casually moved his hand away and buckled it herself.
He made no indication if this upset him, and before long they were headed to the restaurant which was only a few minutes away. Not much time to talk which was a good thing because she didn’t much want to talk to him. This being friendly with the ex thing wasn’t all that simple. Maybe it was a good idea in theory but in practicality, it wasn’t working for her right now. He was quiet and she stared at his profile while he drove. Definitely growing a light scruff of a beard. Why not? He was a man now. A man she once thought would go to the ends of the earth for her. A loyal man and hers forever. When she’d been young and foolish, she’d easily believed everything he wanted her to believe.
Because he’d been so damned convincing. She cleared her throat, uncomfortable with the silence. He merely glanced at her and smiled. Didn’t say a word.
She grabbed her phone and checked Twitter and Facebook but it had been only thirty minutes since she last checked so nothing new there. She considered tweeting she’d be heading out to dinner and give Casa Sanchez a nice plug to her thirty thousand followers, but usually she sent photos too, and that might invite too many questions. It was going to be bad enough being seen in public with Riley when most everyone thought they were divorced. Either they’d give her some kind of medal for being civil to the ex, or they’d start asking questions she didn’t want to answer.
Finally, she couldn’t resist the silence. “What are we doing, exactly?”
He glanced at her. “We’re going to dinner.”
“I know that’s what we’re calling it. It can’t be that simple with us. You said you were interested in getting me back, and now you’re taking me out to dinner. But it’s not a date.”
He nodded. “Right. And I’m not going to sleep with you.”
“No one is sleeping with anyone.”
“Pretty sure someone is sleeping with someone tonight. Somewhere in this little town somebody is getting lucky.”
“Well it won’t be you.”
“Or you.”
More silence. Of course, they could talk at the restaurant. That’s what this was all about anyway. Catching up with the ex. Friendly millennial stuff she hated. But it might be loud at Casa Sanchez, in fact it usually was as they had a big screen TV in the bar area and the Niners were in the play-offs last she’d heard.
And holy crap, she was really going to ask the question. The one that had been haunting her.
“Do you think you ever really loved me?”
He almost ran a red light, but screeched to a stop in time. “What kind of a question is that? You’re the love of my life.”
She didn’t want to argue the point. They both still saw matters very differently. “O-kay.”
“What about you? You hate me now, you made that clear enough. Did you ever love me?”
Now she was annoyed. “What do you think?”
“Fair enough.” Riley kept his eyes on the road and didn’t answer for a long moment. “I think you did love me.”
“Good job! If I had a prize, I’d give it to you.”
“I guess we’re quite a pair. You hate me, and I definitely don’t hate you. Not going to sleep with you, obviously. Not even if you beg. But I don’t hate you.” He pulled into the asphalt parking lot of Casa Sanchez and shut off the engine.
She jumped out of the truck before he could come around and open the door for her. That would seem too much like a couple’s date. Riley scowled but let it go. The hostess told them the wait was twenty minutes but there were seats in the bar. Before Sophia realized what was happening, Riley was pulling on her hand and leading her into the bar area where he quickly found them a table.
Once upon a time she’d been proud of the attention that Riley commanded when he walked into a room. She figured it was the way he carried himself with authority and badass confidence. His good looks and muscular rangy body had also never hurt the situation. Tonight she noticed it happening all over again, but this time with a healthy dose of indifference on her part. The women, in particular, noticed when he walked in. Their bodies sort of angled toward him, like an ‘open for business, if you want some r
eal action’ advertisement.
“I’ll get our drinks. You want the usual?”
“The usual?”
“You still like margaritas?” He grinned. “Salt around the rim?”
Good Lord, had he forgotten nothing? “Yeah. Thanks.”
There was a long line at the bar and she figured he’d be gone for a while, so Sophia pulled out her cell phone and checked Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest. Found a cool pin of a white tiger and pinned it to her ‘wild animals I love’ board. When she looked up, Priscilla York was talking to Riley. More like whispering in his ear. Sophia could have expected this scenario. Priscilla propositioned every handsome man, and Riley would be no exception. It didn’t bother Sophia at all. Tonight she was rocking this whole indifference thing. But then a faintly familiar hard-eyed look came into Riley’s eyes and he scowled at Priscilla. She smirked as he pulled out his wallet from his back pocket, slapped a few bills on the table and grabbed their drinks.
He walked behind Sophia and set the drinks down, then touched her shoulders, leaned over and kissed her cheek. The familiarity surprised her as she now recognized it as the move of a man indicating that he was with somebody and had no intention of straying anywhere else. Possessive. Claiming. And inappropriate. But a strange sense of déjà vu settled on Sophia and she was taken back to a different time and place. The flinty hard look in Riley’s eyes was similar to the one he’d had the night he’d met Nikki. And the smirk was familiar too. It was a ‘you don’t know what you’re missing’ smile. Oh. My. God.
She was so stupid! “Nikki made a pass at you, didn’t she?”
“What?”
“The night you met her, when I had her over for dinner that first Christmas. In the garage. When you kissed me and groped me. She’d just made a pass at you!”
“Soph—”
“Tell me it’s not true!”
He wouldn’t look at her. “I can’t do that.”
“She was my best friend. I thought she was my friend. How could she…why did she…”
“Because she wasn’t much of a friend.”
Sophia thought back to how horny Nikki had been during that time. But hitting on Riley? Sophia’s husband? Nikki knew how crazy in love Sophia had been! Riley was all she talked about. She’d had the nerve to call him a killer! Sophia had thought it was grief talking, but maybe there had been more to it than she ever realized.
Forever with You (Starlight Hill Series Book 5) Page 14