Hold On 2

by Tabitha Levin

Ethan’s eyebrow raises and a smile curls on his lip breaking the dark mask. “Wanna go for a ride? Get out of here for the night?”

  “A ride?” I look warily over to his motorcycle parked outside our building. “Yes, actually I do.” A ride on Ethan’s bike - I couldn’t think of anything better than getting away with him. It’s Friday night and I don’t have work tomorrow, neither does he. And if the apartment is all locked up, Lili won’t be able to get inside or find us. Yes, a ride on Ethan’s bike is exactly what I want to do to forget this whole fucked up week.

  I don’t look back to see what Danny is doing. I don’t care. For the first time in a long time, I don’t care about Danny Travis anymore.

  Chapter 10

  I stretch my arms above my head and twist them behind my neck as I lay on the floor of Ethan’s beach shack, trying to get the kinks out of my back and neck after making love on the bare wood floor. The sofa bed would have been more comfortable, but I couldn’t keep my hands off him as soon as we pulled up here, and neither could he of me. We barely made it inside.

  The floorboards are draughty and after I’m done stretching I pull the quilted blanket from the sofa over me and hug into it.

  Ethan has opened the back door and is staring outside to the dark sea. I watch him for a moment, taking in his broad shoulders and firm ass, his skin taut from the cold night air. He’s naked, the crisp temperature not seeming to bother him.

  “Are we staying here tonight?” I pull my knees to my chest and shiver. I should have packed something warmer, but the idea of just taking off and leaving everything behind was too tempting to pass up.

  He turns and runs his hand through his hair. It’s still messy from when I grabbed it, pulling him close to me as my second orgasm rushed through my body. “Yes.” His hand flutters down to his dick and he strokes it up and down. At first, I think it means that he wants to fuck again, but when he reaches down and pulls up his boxer shorts I realize I’m mistaken.

  I stand up from the floor and pull out the sofa bed, fluffing up the pillows and smoothing down the sheets. When it’s made up I get under the blankets, trying to warm my body and get comfortable.

  “I don’t want to do it.” He closes the door and sits down at the end of the bed. “But she’s not giving up easily. I’m still trying to figure it all out. You need to give me time.”

  I don’t know what he’s talking about at first but then the realization that he’s talking about Lili and her request for him to steal ten thousand dollars smacks me in the face. “You can’t do it.” I pat the bed next to me indicating that he should join me under the covers, even if it’s only to get warm. “It’s completely ridiculous, not to mention illegal. That’s behind you now. Tell her to find someone else to help her.”

  He grabs hold of the blanket on top of the bed and fists the corner into a tight ball. “Lili was Winona’s best friend. For a while.”

  “Back when you were in the motorcycle group.”

  He nods and runs his hand over his leg. “She told me who killed her. She told me who murdered Winona.” He looks up at me and I expect to see the dark mask on his face as he talks about his ex, but instead I see an almost wistful look as he talks about her.

  “The person who killed her - that’s the person that Lili wants you to steal from.” I know it’s true before he even acknowledges it. “You need to go to the police. If you know who murdered your friend, you need to report it.”

  He narrows his eyes. “You don’t understand. I can’t prove it, he’ll deny it and then it’s my word against his. He’ll get away with it and then come after me.” He looks up at me and tilts his head to the side. “And anyone I care about.”

  I shake my head from side to side trying to make sense of everything. “But you haven’t been involved with this for years. You went to jail and left everything behind. You don’t belong to any of this.” I push the blankets away from myself and crawl toward him on the bed, no longer caring about the cold. “Why is this happening now? I don’t understand.” I don’t. I don’t know why any of this is happening now, it doesn’t make sense to me in my perfect safe world. But Ethan doesn’t live in the same world that I do, or at least he didn’t used to.

  “I loved Winona. I loved her more than anything else in the world.” There is no emotion in his words, it’s like he’s reporting on facts rather than talking about his past. “But that was a long time ago.”

  My lips tighten as I get ready to ask the question I really want to know the answer to. “Do you still love her?” I place my hand on his arm, gently tracing the pattern of one of his tattoos with the tips of my fingers.

  “No.” His answer is short and clipped. He doesn’t offer any further explanation.

  “I still don’t understand why you need to steal the money though? What does that have to do with this? Why can’t Lili just get a loan or something if she needs the money?”

  His jaw tightens as he pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms around my body. “She doesn’t need the money, it’s not about that. The money she wants to steal is marked. If we can find it and take it, returning it to the person it belongs to, then the asshole that killed Winona will be hunted by other men, and he’ll get what he deserves, and the promise to help Lili’s father, my old leader, one last time will be fulfilled.”

  “No.” I physically shrink away from him. “You can’t do that.” My voice is shaky and I feel out of my depth talking about this.

  He leans forward and takes my hand. “I understand if this is too much to take in. It’s a lot.”

  “This isn’t my world. My biggest problem is deciding what to have for lunch. What you are talking about is… is…” I don’t know what it is.

  He leans closer to me and glides his fingers across my cheek and down to my chin. “That is why I’m not doing it. I can’t hurt you.”

  “You’re not doing it because of me?” My eyes search his, as I watch the intensity of his resolve become clearer. He’s rejecting his old life and the chance to get revenge on the person who murdered his ex, because he doesn’t want to hurt me. I’m overcome with relief that it’s going to end and I can return to my simple life with no talk of murder and marked money. A life that will include Ethan if I want it to.

  He holds me to his chest so I can hear his heart beating slow and strong. “Of course, Sarah. You’re the light that makes all the darkness go away. I’m not giving you up that easily.”

  Chapter 11

  There has been a subtle shift in my confidence today. Last night I fell soundly to sleep in Ethan’s arms and this morning, as the early morning sunlight streamed in through the uncurtained window, there is a sense of measured calm that has enveloped me. I feel surer about myself and about what I have with Ethan.

  I know it’s still early in our relationship and we have a long way to go before our connection is solidified, but knowing that he needs me as much as I need him gives me hope that we might make it after all. The lingering doubts are beginning to disappear.

  I look over and watch his chest rise and fall with slow, steady breaths. Ethan is beautiful when he’s asleep. The hard edges and dark intensity that he hides behind most days disappear into nothing as dreams replace memories.

  Carefully I roll away from him and get out of bed, trying hard not to let the cheap sofa mattress squeak underneath me. I pull on my jeans and sweater and walk outside, letting the sea air blow away my sleepiness.

  I’ve only been out less than five minutes before I hear Ethan behind me. He wraps his arms around me as I continue to look out to the ocean. “You’re gorgeous when the wind blows your hair behind you. I was tempted to watch you, drinking in the image, but then I wouldn’t be able to do this.” He moves around to my front as he pulls me to his chest. I can see that he’s still naked from last night.

  I laugh. “Don’t you ever wear clothes? It’s freezing today.”

  “You’re complaining?” He chuckles and kisses me on the forehead. “I thought you liked my dick. You told
me you loved it last night when I came down your throat.” He’s teasing me and he’s expecting me to blush and get embarrassed. But he doesn’t realize that Lauren has said far more outrageous things to me over the years.

  I wonder if Lauren would accept Ethan now if she knew how close we were becoming. I want them to meet so I can find out. It’s time. I decide to test out his reaction first. “I was thinking of inviting my best friend Lauren over tonight. You haven’t met her yet, it’d be a good opportunity to introduce my two favorite people to each other.”

  “I’m one of your two favorite people?” He raises his eyebrow mockingly and I chuckle. “Of course you are. I don’t sleep with people I don’t like.” I roll my eyes dramatically to make my point.

  A soft smile lights up his face. “Oh really? Are you implying that I do?” He tilts his head to the side and bites his bottom lip into a mock pout.

  I playfully push him away. I like this calmer Ethan, full of fun and without the worries that haunt him. Being here away from the world soothes him. He grabs me by the arm and soon I find myself on top of him on the sand as we tumble down together. “You’re going to get sand where it isn’t much fun,” I tease, as I hold his hands down and lean forward to kiss him.

  “Worth it,” he counters. He pushes me back so he can sit up and run his lips up my neck. “You’re in a good mood this morning.”

  I giggle as his mouth tickles my skin. “I am. I feel really good.” I do. I slept well and have woken up alive with energy.

  “I like seeing you smile.”

  “I always smile,” I counter. “I’m a smiley girl.”

  He brushes his lips across my cheek. “Maybe you used to be.”

  I used to be? I consider his words and decide he’s right. I never thought that I’d changed that much in the past few months to what I was in the past, but I haven’t been as happy ever since I’ve had the guilt and insecurities that Danny burdened me with. Seeing him last night changed everything when he mistakenly assumed that I’d go running back to him. I can feel the real me emerging from the wall I’d been hiding behind ever since I told him to leave me alone.

  “You make me smile,” I admit. “You’ve brought it back.”

  He tilts my chin to his face and softly kisses my lips. “You don’t give yourself enough credit,” he whispers into my mouth. “Your own strength bought your smile back. Not me.”

  Chapter 12

  “I’ve changed my mind. Let’s stay here all weekend; I don’t want to go back.” I make myself as small as possible as I crawl into Ethan’s lap, his strong arms around me.

  “Aren’t you getting hungry?” He shifts his position on the sand so he can accommodate my needy body better.

  “You can go get us something,” I say hopefully. “I can stay here and you can bring back breakfast.”

  A smile forms on his lips and I can tell he knows that I’m stalling. It’s clear I don’t want to go back to the apartment and back to seeing Lili. I know eventually that I’ll have to face her again so I can tell her to get lost, but the more time I can spend in Ethan’s arms, without anyone disapproving of us, the longer I don’t want to leave.

  “You want me to go now, naked?” I know he’s teasing me and it works because I laugh at the thought of him riding his motorcycle to the store with nothing on.

  “No, bad idea. I don’t want anyone else seeing this hot body. It’s all mine to feast on.” I playfully bite his bicep which is nearest my mouth. “Who needs real food anyway?” I say laughing.

  “You are in a good mood,” he says.

  I don’t respond. I don’t need to. Just being held by Ethan is all I need right now. I could stay this way all day and I wouldn’t mind one bit. I could stay this way forever and it’d be perfect.

  “You may not be hungry, but I sure as hell am.” He shifts in the sand and lifts me up, placing me next to him. “And I’m getting chaffed here.”

  He dusts the majority of the sand off his legs and walks into the water to wash the rest of it off. The water must be freezing, I shiver just watching him and thinking about the temperature. It doesn’t seem to bother him though and he dives under a wave and pops up on the other side of it.

  I’m mesmerized as the water drips down his chest and over his stomach as he stands up and walks back to the beach. How I got so lucky to be involved with someone as hot as Ethan Collier, I don’t know. I don’t care what happens, I’m going to hold on to him and never let him go.

  “You going in?” He shakes his head so the water flings off his hair, splattering me with droplets.

  “No way, it’s too cold.” I wrap my arms around myself trying to get warm.

  He holds out his hand and I take it as he pulls me to my feet. “Then we really need to get back.”

  I reluctantly follow him up to the shack where he dries off and gets dressed. Since I’m already clothed I get the chance to watch him again. I take in his whole body with each strong deliberate movement as he pulls on each piece of clothing. God I’m lucky.

  ~

  As Ethan pulls up the motorcycle, back at our apartment, I can already feel the butterflies dancing around my stomach. I know there is no way she can be up there; we locked it last night before we left, but I can tell she won’t be too far away.

  I look around nervously but there is no sign of her.

  I get off the bike and reach into my purse for my keys before walking toward the building.

  Ethan is behind me as I take the stairs up to the top floor. I’m sure he isn’t as worried as I am, but even so, he’s not hurrying to get back either.

  As I reach the door and unlock it, I almost expect her to be sitting on the couch eating our food, but the apartment is as empty as we left it. I breathe a sigh of relief and walk inside.

  Ethan heads straight for the fridge.

  “No bacon. Plenty of eggs though,” he says. He takes out the carton and begins preparing breakfast as I head toward the bathroom to shower and freshen up.

  ~

  “I absolutely do want to come over tonight and see how hot he is in the flesh.” Lauren is giddy with excitement, her voice is pitching higher. I have to pull the phone away from my ear for a moment in case she squeals like a teenager.

  “Don’t make it a big thing,” I say. “Just act casual.”

  “Is he going to bring a friend, too?” I can hear the eagerness in her voice.

  “A friend?” I hadn’t considered that. I don’t even know if Ethan has any friends since I’ve never seen him with anyone else other than Lili. I shudder just thinking about her. I know she’s going to turn back up sooner or later, she hasn’t showed yet thank goodness, but we’ve only been back ten minutes.

  “Yes, someone for me. If you two start making out then I’m going to need someone to stick their tongue down my throat. He probably has hot friends and I could do with a quick fuck with someone new.”

  “Lauren!” I really should be used to her by now.

  “Ask him,” she says. “But he can only invite good looking guys that are single. Oh, and if they have a big cock then that’s all the better for me.”

  “I doubt he knows how big his friend’s dicks are.” I try not to laugh at her request. We both know I’m not asking him that even though she probably wouldn’t hesitate. And if he did invite a friend, I would have no doubts that Lauren would end up naked with him by the end of the night. “Besides, I haven’t met any of his friends.”

  “Well tonight is going to be full of surprises for everyone, isn’t it? I can’t wait.” She hangs up and I’m left staring at the phone.

  Does Ethan have any friends that he’d be willing to set up with Lauren? And what sort of friends would they be if he does?

  I can smell the eggs from the bedroom and walk out into the living area to see that he’s already started eating his. If I’m to met any of his friends then tonight would be a good a time as any.

  I sit down and pick up my fork. “Lauren’s in for tonight, but she wants you to i
nvite one of your friends for her.”

  “Why?” He raises his eyebrow as he frowns. “That’s not a good idea.”

  “You don’t have any single friends?” I swirl my fork in the runny yolk and lift it to my mouth.

  He laughs, but it’s not a happy laugh, there is a hint of resentment in it. “I don’t have any friends.”

  “What do you mean you don’t have any friends?” I ask. “What about the people you work with? You don’t have to be close to them, they only have to be single and willing to put up with Lauren’s advances. She’s good looking and fun, I’m sure they’d love to come.”

  He places his fork onto his plate very carefully and deliberately. “Sarah, drop it. I choose not to mix work with home, and I’ve had enough of so called friends fucking me over to last me a lifetime. If you’ve had people who’ve done the same to you, you’d understand my position.”

  He’s right that I don’t understand what has happened in his past to make him so against bringing people into his life now, but I can tell by his tone not to push it further.

  I place my hand over the top of his. “Then it’s just the three of us. You, me and Lauren.”

  Let’s just hope it stays that way and Lili doesn’t show up. Could I be so lucky?

  Chapter 13

  “I need to fuck you.”

  Lauren is due to arrive any minute and Ethan wants to have sex now? I’ve followed him into his room to help him choose something to wear even though his wardrobe consists mainly of jeans and tee’s. I know he didn’t want my help choosing an outfit though, it was just a pretence to get me in here.

  I sit on the end of the bed as he peels off his t-shirt and bite my lip as I watch the muscles in his stomach ripple from the movement.

  “Ethan, I don’t want to do it in here, not when she’s been sleeping in your bed.”

  “We’ve fucked here before.” He’s not paying attention to my protests as he reaches down and unzips his jeans. He steps out of them and walks forward, his hand gently grazing against his cock as it springs to life. “Have you ever done anal?”