The Man I Need (The Man I Need #1)

by Loretta Steel

  I looked up to see Blake stood above me on the pavement. I’d been making my way down to the subway.

  ‘Hey,’ he waved. ‘Do you want a lift?’

  The thought of having to travel on the underground knowing Tyler could be hidden behind a wall down there, ready to pounce, was enough to convince me.

  ‘Yes.’

  He drove me to Mr Gold’s house and promised to collect me on his way back from the gym. Of course, he had to keep himself toned.

  The meeting with Mr Gold went well and I arranged to visit him the following Tuesday with some swatches, having to rejig a few things to make time for him on my ever-increasing busy schedule.

  Blake appeared at exactly 1:30pm.

  ‘I’m taking you to lunch,’ he said, stopping the car outside a swanky restaurant.

  I looked up at him, knowing it was pointless to argue with him when he could hear my stomach growling.

  Once we were seated inside, menu’s in hand he turned to me and said, ‘what are you eating?’

  ‘I’m not. It’s too expensive,’ I said, a little too loudly.

  ‘You’re not leaving here until you’ve had something to eat.’

  ‘I’m not hungry looking at those prices.’

  ‘I’m paying.’

  ‘I don’t like Cantonese food.’

  ‘Have you ever tried it?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Then how can you know? He said. ‘Look, why don’t you come back to my place and I’ll rustle something up?’

  Now he was talking. I didn’t hesitate to follow him out of the door.

  This wasn’t what I had in mind, I thought later, as he spooned noodles into a bowl and set it in front of me. I’d assumed he wanted sex. How could I keep getting him wrong?

  ‘Let’s cut to the chase,’ I said, tearing the chair away from the table and lunging at him, snaking my arms up and over his bulky frame to rest on his shoulders.

  He didn’t move.

  ‘Not now,’ he said. ‘You need to eat.’

  ‘Oh I intend to eat, I said. ‘You.’ I jumped up at him so he had no option but to grab my legs as I wound them around his waist to stop me from falling.

  ‘Ezra.’

  The sound of my name on his lips made me melt with desire.

  ‘Ezra!’

  He removed his hands from my thighs and dropped me to the ground in one graceful movement.

  ‘What do you want?’

  ‘You to sit down and eat.’

  ‘Fine.’

  I sat opposite him and stared at the bowl of food feeling queasy with shame. How could I have got him so wrong?

  My cheeks burned as he looked up to meet my eyes. ‘Please, eat some food with me.’ His tone having softened enough to quell my stinging embarrassment, I reconsidered. Food could lead to sex, right?

  The meal over, my ego repaired slightly, I left him with a kiss on his cheek. He didn’t reciprocate but neither did he jump back in irritation. I took it as a sign to mean that he’d warmed to me, despite my temper tantrum earlier. I wasn’t sure why I was pre-tuned to act so hostile towards him. A part of me knew that it wasn’t the right time to begin a sex-fuelled affair, but another part of me wanted to let go and embrace the moment. I was in two minds as to whether or not it was a good idea to tell Blake how I felt or to wait when I found myself in the hall.

  I buzzed Madison in a few minutes later.

  ‘Hey, where’ve you been?’

  ‘I had a meeting with a client and then I bumped into Blake.

  She raised her eyes to the ceiling.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Do you have a psycho magnet or something?’ she shoved me in jest, but it was enough to jar my ribs.

  I followed her inside, and after a lengthy conversation about Blake’s lack of suitability I showered, changed into something comfortable and retired to bed early, glad to have left Maddie to sleep on the sofa, sure it would send her home in the morning, complaining of an aching back. Despite my annoyance, I was unable to shake the feeling that she might have had a point. Could Blake be the next psycho?

  A dark cloud had settled over me as the night drew in. I felt a heaviness weaving its way around me and tugging at my subconscious. I was completely under its grip, afraid of where my thoughts were taking me, convinced there might be some truth in Maddie’s paranoid ideas, but wanting desperately for her to have been mistaken.

  ‘What if Blake had been sent to find you?’ said Madison.

  I’d thought of nothing else since the words had left her mouth.

  The thought of Blake moving down the hall intent on befriending me in order to relay details of my life to Tyler, enabling him to bide his time before he came to collect his debt - my freedom - sent a spasm of fear through me. As the sky turned black I convinced myself that Blake was sent to kidnap and return me to Tyler so he could finish his sadistic plan for a perfectly submissive playmate.

  I fell into a dark sleep, having decided that Blake was going to continue where Tyler had left off. Except in my dreams, the handcuffs were made of silk and the heavy weight of Tyler’s hand pressed against my chest was replaced by Blake’s lips clamped against mine. Instead of Tyler’s cuffs, Blake’s eyes held me captive. I awoke several times feeling the bulge beneath his jeans pressed hard against my wet thigh, damp with sweat, moist with lust.

  Replacing the sick games Tyler liked to play with me for Blake’s assertive, gentle touch, I must admit, I quite liked the idea of his dominating side making an appearance in the bedroom. It had been so long since I’d allowed a man to take the lead. Sex since Joe had involved one night stands and me taking charge. Fast. Hard. No strings. Fun. No commitment. No risk of getting hurt. No chance to be intimate. No real feelings. Fake.

  My eyes sprung open as I realized what I’d been missing. I was ready for a man in my life.

  Even then, I had no idea if allowing a man to get close enough to hurt me was such a good idea. I doubted any man would be able to fulfill my needs, and I certainly doubted I’d be able to trust another man completely, but unless I gave myself the chance to find out, I’d never know. There was only one problem, Madison had given me cause to doubt Blake so I’d already put up my defenses against him. It would take a strong man to knock them down.

  BLAKE

  I hadn’t called. Treat them mean and keep them keen wasn’t actually a part of the plan. I’d been so busy I hadn’t had the chance to call. But by the time I got home, had a shower, shaved, put on some jogging pants and a T-shirt to lounge in it was almost midnight. Too late, I thought. I’d call her tomorrow, only I couldn’t get Ezra out of my head. I tossed and turned all night, seeking warmth in a cold empty bed. What was it about her?

  She was hot. Sexy hot. Independent. No push-over. I like that in a woman. I enjoy the challenge. I wondered how hard I’d need to push those barriers before they came down and I got to see the real Ezra. The feline beauty beneath the ‘I don’t need a man’ attitude.

  EZRA

  Okay, so I was running away. What was the big deal?

  The only sound in the quiet neighborhood was the clip-clopping of my heels on the wet pavement and the distant hum of traffic from the causeway. I wore a long fur-lined plum coat over a tight-fitted black silk dress. Madison was still fast asleep. My purse caught on a lamppost as I made my way down the street crossing the road over to where the overgrown tree stood rooted in thick mud, and towards the front of the building overlooking the Thames. The gentle waves rippled in the moonlight of the dock. Blake had sent me a text asking if I was okay. I’d replied that I wasn’t. He told me to meet him outside the pub on the corner.

  Maddie had arrived at my apartment, carrying a takeaway pizza and a bottle of vino. I’d gladly invited her into the kitchen. We’d drank, laughed, cried, and then she fell asleep on the sofa. I couldn’t sleep. Blake’s invitation to dinner hadn’t materialized. He’d apologized for his late text and the one he’d sent the night before, and promised to make it up to me. I jumped at
the chance, tipsy and slightly uninhibited, I’d imagined those large hands holding my hips as I bent over the bed. My hands clasped behind my back. Him fucking me from behind. My knickers were wet at the thought.

  He stood on the pavement outside the heaving bar, a drunk man wandered down the alley, breaking his footfall with a fallen cardboard box beside the two overflowing bins. It wasn’t the kind of place I would have expected Blake to have been working from so I got the impression he’d lied to me. Unless he was undercover. But wouldn’t a cop be at risk of exposing his cover if he were to meet a woman outside the place he was to stake out?

  Despite my reservations, I wasn’t scared. In fact, the threat of having to run to his car for a high-speed chase was nothing compared to the fear I felt at what I was about to ask him.

  He winked, held out his hand for me to take and didn’t appear to notice my slight maneuver left so I could walk ahead of him. Despite wanting nothing more than to drag him away from the entrance of the steamy bar and into the toilets for a quick fumble, I had to know if Madison’s comment held any weight. My finger was ready, pressed to the ‘9’ in case she was right.

  ‘He sent you to find me, didn’t he?’

  ‘Who?’ he said, stopping short of a now closed coffee house that still smelt of the rich aroma.

  His reaction hadn’t been what I’d expected.

  ‘You know who.’

  ‘I’ve no idea what you’re talking about,’ he laughed.

  ‘You think this is funny?’

  ‘You’re sexy when you’re mad.’

  ‘Don’t play games with me.’

  ‘You’re the only one playing games.’

  ‘Stop skirting around and answer the damned question!’

  ‘You need to calm down,’ he said.

  I breathed in deeply.

  ‘Just tell me the truth.’

  ‘What exactly are you accusing me of?’

  He stood there, his face like steel. Either he was being genuine or he was a very good actor.

  Exasperated, I’d told him everything. The six months I spent in the basement of Tyler’s house where he lived with his wife and two children. The twisted games of torture, feeding me only minuscule amounts of food, depriving me of affection. The lack of trust I’d had before I met Joe. The fact he left me for another woman, a woman without issues. The unlocked window, the latch broken. The cat. The mind games. The chase. And the letter.

  ‘I’m sorry you went through so much, but I promise you I have nothing to do with it.’

  His words cut me deep. I wasn’t looking for an apology. An honest answer would have sufficed.

  ‘I don’t believe you.’

  He looked hurt.

  ‘I’m not a liar.’

  ‘If it isn’t you then who…?’

  I left my words hanging in the stagnant air between us. The smell of rainwater mixing with the wet earth surrounding us made the night smell stale. My clothes were damp. My hair wet. I shivered.

  ‘Here, take my coat,’ he said, pulling it off and draping it over my shoulders.

  I wasn’t sure I could trust him, but I was cold.

  ‘What does he want, this Tyler?’

  ‘Me.’

  ‘Then we need to find him.’

  I wasn’t expecting him to be concerned.

  He pulled his phone from his pocket.

  ‘Are you calling him?’

  He looked at me dumbfounded.

  ‘Tyler.’

  ‘I’m calling the police. Something you should have done two days ago when this Tyler, whoever he is, broke into your flat.’

  ‘He knows where I live. If he …’

  ‘He isn’t going to hurt you. I won’t let him.’

  ‘You don’t understand, he’s not … he isn’t … I mean …’

  ‘Tell me,’ he said. ‘Why don’t you want the police involved?’

  Blake had a point. I hadn’t been completely honest with him. There’d been other things, things I didn’t think needed mentioning but were so obvious now I felt stupid for not recognizing them at the time.

  ‘There was a phone call a few days ago. The caller withheld their number. They hung up as soon as I’d answered.’

  ‘When was this?’ he said, pressing his phone to his ear.

  ‘What are you doing?’

  He looked at me then, his eyes troubled.

  ‘How long has this been going on?’

  ‘A week.’

  ‘A week?’

  ‘You’re a detective, aren’t you. Can’t you do something?’

  ‘I’m not a detective.’

  ‘You lied to me.’

  ‘I’m not involved in the police anymore. I told you, I’m retired.’

  ‘You’re too young to retire.’

  ‘Not when you’ve seen your friends blown up in front of you.’

  That shut me up.

  ‘I’m a private investigator now.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘That’s the reason I’m here. There was a … my sister …’

  ‘Don’t worry. I don’t want to know.’

  ‘No, she … she was killed.’

  I felt like a complete bitch. Here I was landing all my shit on him and his sister had been killed.

  ‘I’m sorry … I should never have assumed.’

  ‘I’ve been working on a case. The man is wanted in connection with a bout of jewelry thefts. His wife, can you believe it asked me to find him. It turns out that he’s a con man. He moved in, took advantage of her, fled with everything of value. She didn’t want to alert the police despite what he’d done. She just wants her gold back.’

  ‘No offence, but what has that got to do with your sister?’

  ‘His prints. They’re a close match. Only …the man who killed her is dead.’

  ‘The man who murdered your sister?’

  He nodded.

  ‘I don’t understand.’

  ‘Neither do I. It looks like he has a brother.’

  ‘You think …?’

  ‘I don’t know what to think. Only, what if it was his brother all along? I have to find out. You understand?’

  ‘Of course.’

  Then another thought hit me.

  ‘So you could find out where Tyler is hiding?’

  ‘Not exactly, but I can stop him from hurting you.’

  ‘How?’

  He mouthed something to me before the police finally answered.

  ‘Sorry, wrong number,’ he said, dropping the phone back into his pocket.

  A swarm of butterflies fluttered inside my stomach, unsettling me.

  Why didn’t you tell them?’

  ‘I’ve got a better idea.’

  He was rattling my nerves. He was helping me, wasn’t he?

  ‘You’re not going to hurt him are you?’

  ‘I’ll notify the police once we’ve found him. In the mean time, I don’t want you sleeping alone. I think you should stay with me until this is over.’

  ‘But I can’t, I mean my friend, Madison. I left her in my flat.’

  ‘You left her alone to meet me?’ he eyed me wearily, his gaze forcing me to look at the floor in shame.

  ‘Let’s go back to yours and check she’s alright. I’ll make a call, set up surveillance at her address. You can’t be too sure. He might want to get to you through her.’

  ‘You think she’s in danger?’

  ‘By the sound of it, he’ll stop at nothing to get back at you for putting him in prison.’

  I followed Blake to his car. A shiny black convertible with the roof on to keep us warm and sheltered from the rain.

  Once inside the apartment I breathed a sigh of relief to find Madison sound asleep right where I’d left her on the sofa. Blake walked towards me glancing down at a piece of paper in his hand.

  ‘Not another one. Where was it?’

  ‘It was there’ he said, pointing to the sofa I’d been lying on opposite Madison less than half an hour ago.

  �
�Give it to me,’ I said, snatching it from Blake’s thick hand.

  ‘I think I should read it first.’

  I shook my head and began to read.

  Sleep peacefully. T. B. x

  ‘It’s him,’ I said.

  Blake took the note from my hand and read it aloud. The words sounded more threatening coming from his deep voice.

  ‘What does it mean?’

  ‘I …’

  ‘I wish you’d talk to me. I’m not the bad guy here. I’m trying to help you.’

  ‘I don’t need your help.’

  I didn’t mean to allow the words to slip from my tongue.

  ‘Then why did you come to meet me? Why did you tell me?’

  ‘I shouldn’t have. It was a mistake.’

  ‘I see,’ he said, glancing at the door. ‘This isn’t going to go away you know. You can’t stay here. He’s been in your flat. He stood over your friend while she was asleep. Anything could have happened.’

  ‘I can’t stay with you. I can’t …’

  ‘What are you afraid of?’

  What was I afraid of?

  I shrugged.

  ‘Have it your way, but I promise you no matter how much you try to push me away I’m not going to stop caring. I’m down the hall. If you need anything call, knock, whatever.’

  I hid the blush that crept up my cheeks as I held the door open for him to leave.

  ‘I don’t want to leave you both here, alone.’

  ‘I’m not going to let him think he’s won. This is my home. I’m not going anywhere.’

  He shook his head, holding my gaze all the way down the hall until he almost walked into the wall. I snickered, but he didn’t seem to share the joke. I watched him enter his apartment and then I turned away, locking the door behind me.

  ‘Who was that?’ said Madison, aroused by the sound of our argument.

  ‘Blake.’

  ‘The mysterious stranger?’

  ‘Yeah, he’s not so mysterious anymore.’

  ‘Why’d he leave? What’s the time?’

  ‘Late. Shall I fetch us both a hot chocolate?’

  ‘Let me do it,’ she said, flying from the sofa and into the kitchen. ‘It’s the least I can do.’