Taking Chances

by Flowers, Loni

  Alex heard Roz walking down the hall on the floor above him before he realized what she said. “You two will see what I mean someday.” What did she mean? he thought. Had she been talking to Clair about the same thing? Did Clair also emphasize that this was nothing more than dinner? Alex felt a twinge of disappointment. He hoped Clair wanted it to lead to something more, just as he did.

  The sound of shoes clipping down the staircase drew his attention. He watched as Clair descended the stairs, steadying herself on the handrail with each step. He didn’t know what part of her to look at first. She appeared the same, but different. Her hair seemed full and soft, its rich brown layers flipping out in every direction, bouncing around her face and shoulders as she walked toward him. Alex’s eyes roamed down her neck, the purple blouse she wore was unbuttoned, hanging loosely over a black top that clung to her. The top was cut low enough to show only a hint of cleavage, intimating the fullness of her breast and her skin looked so soft, he wanted to touch it. Her jeans hung low, accentuating the smooth curve of her hips. A small gap of skin was revealed as she moved, her black shirt riding up past the top of her jeans. It was the simplest of outfits, but he thought she looked amazing.

  “Hi,” he said, smiling brightly. He took in the sight of her again before meeting her eyes. “You look great.”

  “Thanks. I guess I clean up okay,” she said, doubtful. Clair looked at his pants, “Should I change? Are jeans okay where we’re going?”

  “Yes… no… I mean, don’t change. I like your outfit,” he smiled as he felt his face flush. “Are you ready to go?”

  “I think so.”

  She yelled a goodbye to Roz as Alex ushered her outside to his Jeep. Opening the car door for her, he helped her get in, lifting her hips with his hands.

  “So where are we going?” she asked.

  “Well, are you hungry now? Or do you want to wait a while?”

  “It’s only five, so we can wait a while if there’s something else you want to do?”

  Alex had no set plans. When he asked Clair for the date, it was on a whim and he never expected her to say yes. Tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, he thought for a moment of what they could do. “How about the park? We can take a walk and then decide on what to eat later?”

  “Okay, that sounds fun.”

  When she smiled this time, it spread to her eyes. It was the first time he’d seen happiness that came from within her and not just for show. He hoped that was a sign that tonight was going to be a good night.

  Clair

  The park was similar to one she remembered from her youth. Its perimeter was lined with woods and there was a large pond in the center with a walking bridge that stretched across it. As they strolled along the bridge, the park around them was buzzing with activity. Several baseball games were being played on the fields to the left, while children screamed and chased each other around the playground to the right. People were also scattered on the banks of the pond fishing, reading or having picnics. Propping her arms on the railing of the bridge, she watched a group of children throwing chunks of bread into the water for the ducks. Each one swam back and forth gracefully in the water, vying for the next soggy piece. She smiled, thinking about all the times she’d done the very same thing with her dad.

  Alex leaned in next to her on the railing and looked at her with a somber expression. “Everything okay?”

  Clair gave a small laugh, nodding toward the kids with the bread. “Yeah, I was just remembering how many times my dad and I would do the same thing. He’d buy a whole loaf of bread just to see me waste it, feeding a bunch of stupid ducks.”

  “It made you happy though, didn’t it?”

  She smiled faintly. “Yeah, it did.”

  “Well, if it made you happy, it wasn’t a waste.”

  What a thoughtful thing to say, Clair thought. “That’s what my dad would have said. I remember it like it was yesterday, but it feels like that was such a long time ago.”

  “Good memories are the ones we remember the most,” Alex said smiling.

  Clair frowned, “Yeah, and the bad memories too,” she said, pulling away from the railing. He matched her stride as they continued to stroll down the bridge.

  “You’re right about that. The memories that most affect your life are the ones that stick with you.” He paused, “Can I ask you a question? When was the last time you saw your dad?”

  Clair debated how much of her past she should disclose to Alex. Would stories of her screwed-up life give him more reasons to pity her? It had been a long time since she’d shared any part of her life with anyone, but something deep down told her she could trust him.

  “I was thirteen when he left us. He told my mom he needed to ‘find himself’,” she laughed smugly. “Whatever the hell that was supposed to mean. All I know is that once he moved out, I never heard from him again. That was nine years ago. Mom said he wouldn’t tell her where he was going. He wouldn’t even give us his address. Just up and left, no phone calls, no letters, nothing.” Clair stopped suddenly and turned toward him. He stood close, their legs almost touching. She looked up and he was nearly a foot taller, but the heels on her shoes offered her a better vantage to view his eyes.

  “How can a father just leave his child? Why did he leave me? Did he stop loving me?” Clair sighed heavily. “I’m sorry, I know you don’t have the answers, but these are the questions I’ve asked myself a million times. I’ll probably never know the answers.” She felt her eyes bud with tears, so she turned away and continued walking. “I don’t even know if he’s alive or dead. I’ve wished he were dead many times,” she said in a small voice. “When he left us, it destroyed my mother. The person she became after that made my life hell. Nothing was ever the same.” She tried to blink back the tears unsuccessfully and a few escaped down her cheeks. Clair wiped them away quickly, hoping Alex wouldn’t see. He came up beside her, grabbed her elbow and gently led her to the side of the bridge before standing in front of her.

  “Hey,” he said softly, swiping a stray tear from her cheek with his thumb. “He’s your father; of course he loves you. He’d be crazy not to.”

  Alex brushed the hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. His hand followed the strand down and his fingers lightly brushed her neck. She went from weeping over her father to staring at his lips, and she watched them move as he spoke to her.

  “Your cuts have healed nicely. I can barely see the one on your lip now.”

  Clair’s breath caught in her throat as he rubbed his thumb across the corner of her mouth. He changed the subject and she was thankful for it. But now all she could think about were his lips. Were they as soft as they looked? “It doesn’t even hurt anymore,” she whispered.

  She stared into his blue eyes, losing all train of thought as he spoke again. His words didn’t register and she wondered what his mouth would feel like on hers. Tilting her chin up with his finger, he leaned in close.

  “Are you ready?”

  “Yes,” she whispered, closing her eyes in anticipation. His fingers left her chin and she opened her eyes when Alex laced his fingers through hers and stepped back, pulling her with him.

  “Great, let’s eat. I’m starving.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Alex

  Antonio’s Pizzeria was about a thirty-minute drive from the park. Alex knew it was a quiet restaurant, and since he thought pizza was the perfect meal to have over conversation, he took Clair to the only authentic Italian pizzeria he knew of. The atmosphere was a comforting place, dark and rustic, with small candles on each table for illumination. He led Clair to the bench seat and waited for her to sit before taking his own seat. If he learned anything from his grandparents, it was how to be a gentleman. Whether they were on an official date or not, he always remembered his manners.

  Opening his menu, he asked, “What do you like on your pizza? Or rather, what do you not like on it?”

  “Hmm, well I don’t like a lot of sauce because i
t just makes the whole pizza taste like it. Oh, and I don’t like olives or green peppers.” She scrunched up her face in disgust. “I like everything else though.”

  “Well, that narrows it down,” he laughed. “Okay, what toppings do you want on it then?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. It’s been forever since I had a pizza. I’m sure I’ll like whatever you pick.”

  “Alright, have you ever had pineapple on your pizza before? It’s delicious. Pineapple and ham, that’s what my grandparents and I used to eat on Monday nights.”

  “Okay then, let’s get half pineapple and ham and half bacon and cheese. I love cheese.” Clair grinned. “Is that okay?”

  Before Alex could answer, the waitress approached their table, welcoming them to the restaurant. “You two know what you want, or do you need another minute or two?”

  “No, we’re ready, I’ll take a Coke and she’ll have…” Alex looked to Clair for a response.

  “Coke too, please.”

  As the waitress wrote on her notepad, she asked, “And what kind of pizza will you be enjoying tonight?”

  Alex rattled off their order. The waitress promised to bring their drinks and breadsticks right out while they waited for their pizza. After the waitress left, Alex tried to keep the mood light. He hated seeing her cry and he didn’t want to make her sad again by asking any more personal questions.

  “So, do your parents live around here?” Clair asked.

  That was always the dreaded question he didn’t like answering. But he couldn’t tell her that, especially after everything she’d told him about her father.

  “No,” he said somberly. “They were hit by a drunk driver when I was seven.”

  “Oh, Alex,” she said, placing her hand on top of his, “That is horrible. I’m so sorry. I’m an idiot; I shouldn’t have wished my father were dead earlier. If I’d known…”

  “It’s okay,” he replied as he waved his hand, brushing the comment off. “I don’t remember much about them. It happened a long time ago.”

  “You were so young. Do you have any older siblings?”

  “No, I was an only child and so were my parents. So my mom’s parents raised me. They were the only family I had left.” Clair squeezed his hand tighter.

  “All I remember are pictures of them with me sitting on their laps. I can still see their faces, but only from looking at their pictures.”

  “My grandparents were like my parents. Grandpa died of a massive heart attack when I was seventeen. We did everything together. Every Sunday we worked on his old cars, restoring them to mint condition.” He chuckled, “That guy could fix anything. Those were the days we talked about everything under the sun. I could tell him anything and he’d always listen and give me advice. Though, I don’t think learning about the birds and the bees was much fun,” he said, laughing. “Gran died two years after Grandpa. She got real sick and was always in and out of the hospital. Since it was just the two of us, I took care of her the best I could. Before she got sick, I was going to the local community college to get my basic classes out of the way and later transfer to a university. I had to drop out not long after, though, to take care of her. I hated to do it, but I have no regrets. It was worth it, if only to be with her ‘til the end. The doctors ran test after test on her and could never diagnose her sickness. When she did die, they said it was from ‘natural causes’, but I really think she just gave up without Grandpa. They were together for some fifty-odd years.”

  “Wow. I can’t imagine what it’s like losing the love of your life… after all that time. That’s every girl’s dream, to find a love like that.”

  “I’m sure you’ll have no problem.”

  Clair laughed out loud. “Yeah, right! I seriously doubt that. Not with my track record. So the one really good perk of living with your grandparents was the food, right?” she said, changing the subject.

  “Most definitely, that was the best part,” he joked. “I’m kidding; but oh man, could she cook. Gran always made three full meals a day. It was the best food I’ve ever eaten. But don’t tell Roz I said that.”

  Clair laughed, “I bet she taught you those manners too, didn’t she? Guys don’t hold doors open for women anymore. Chivalry is dead. If you’ve got two hands, do it yourself. That’s the stance most men take.”

  “It’s just common sense, if you ask me. But yes, I suppose Gran did teach me a thing or two,” he said, winking. Alex picked up his drink to take a sip. Their conversation was so light and surprisingly fun that he hadn’t even realized they were still holding hands across the table. It felt right. As if her hand belonged in his and he didn’t want to pull away.

  “Ohh…watch out, it’s hot,” the waitress said, holding a pizza tray in her hand.

  Alex released Clair’s hand and smiled. “This looks delicious, doesn’t it?”

  “Yes! It smells delicious. I can’t wait to taste it.”

  “Well, that could be another few minutes. It’s really hot,” he said, placing a piece on her plate.”

  “Thank you, Alex, for bringing me here tonight. I’m really having a great time.”

  A wide smile lit up her face and he was excited to see her so happy, for once. “I’m glad to hear it because the night’s not over yet.”

  Clair

  Walking out of the restaurant, Clair lazily looped her arm through Alex’s. “That pizza was amazing. I’m stuffed. I don’t know how I could possibly eat dessert.”

  Alex laughed, “I’m glad you enjoyed it. The food is always great here.”

  “You come here often?” She couldn’t help but wonder how many girls he’d brought here before. Not that it mattered, really; this was just dinner and nothing more. She didn’t want to be the latest girl he added to his list.

  “No, it’s been a few months, at least. When we have construction jobs around here, the guys and I try to stop in as often as we can. It’s just too good to pass up.”

  Clair nodded in agreement but felt stupid for letting her mind assume otherwise. As they walked down the block toward Alex’s Jeep, Clair heard music. The sidewalk had grown busy with roaming patrons milling up and down the street. “Oh, I wonder what’s going on down there,” she said, visibly intrigued.

  “I’m not sure. Do you want to walk around for a bit and check it out?” He looked at his watch, “It’s still pretty early, unless you’re ready to go home?”

  Clair pulled on his arm, “Not at all, let’s go see.”

  A flyer that was taped to a lamppost announced the town was having a street carnival to raise money for the local library. After a recent fire, all the vendors and restaurants in the area planned to donate fifty percent of their proceeds to support the library’s restoration. Walking around the block, they saw the street had been closed off and vendors hugged both sides of it. A band played at the far end of the street and people were dancing in front of a makeshift stage. Everyone appeared to be having a good time. The night was warm with a light breeze freshening the air. The vendors were selling everything from arts and crafts to food and games. She browsed the different booths ahead of Alex, while he lingered over a stand that sold handmade model cars.

  At one booth, a particular piece of jewelry caught her eye and Clair picked it up. Its sterling silver chain felt cool to the touch and a small dreamcatcher pendant hung from it. Tiny turquoise beads threaded with wire formed the pendant’s center, where two silver feathers hung. Clair was amazed at the minute details its creator invested into its design. She held it up to her neck and looked at it in the mirror, which sat on the table. Maybe if I had something like this, the dreams of my attackers would stop, she thought. It was a nice thought but seeing as she had hardly any money left, Clair laid the necklace down on the table and continued to the next booth.

  After a few moments, Alex caught up with her, and they made their way down the street. They took a seat on an empty bench and watched the people dance to the music.

  “They have homemade ice cream,” Alex said, po
inting to a vendor across from them. “Would you like some?”

  “I don’t know. I’m still stuffed from the pizza,” Clair said, holding her stomach.

  He stood. “If I get some, will you share with me? You like vanilla, right?”

  Clair smiled. “Chocolate is my favorite, but vanilla is the best on apple pie.”

  “Chocolate it is then. You know you want some,” he nudged.

  “Oh alright, I’ll just have a little.”

  “Great, I’ll be right back.”

  Clair watched him as he stood in line. His hair kept falling in his eyes and she’d been trying to fight the urge to brush it away ever since he picked her up. He had the kind of hair you wanted to run your fingers through. The firm muscles flexed in his arms as he reached for the ice cream across the counter. His line of work was obviously beneficial to his body and Clair wondered what else on his body might be tight and sculpted; or how good it might feel to run her fingers across his skin. She looked away, feeling herself flush with embarrassment. She didn’t know why she was having these thoughts. Especially now, after confirming she had no intentions of getting into any kind of relationship with him.

  Sitting next to Clair, Alex handed her a spoon. “Are you okay? Are you getting too hot? Your cheeks are red. We can go if you want.”

  “No, I’m fine.” Avoiding his gaze, she dipped her spoon into the ice cream. It was rich and sweet; cooling her cheeks as she ate it.

  “So, Alex,” Clair pointed at him with her spoon, “what’s one of the craziest things you did while on the streets?”

  He thought about it for a minute. “That would have to be when I had the bright idea to join the circus.”

  She nearly choked on her ice cream, “The circus? Seriously?”

  “Hey you asked,” he said laughing. “Not the brightest idea, I’ll admit, but it was something crazy to do at the time. I saw some pretty weird people while I was there and I only managed to make it a few weeks. There was a psychic there who was convinced I had the skills to become a palm reader. I still don’t know what gave her that impression,” he laughed. “It sucked. I didn’t want to learn palm reading, I wanted to learn how to walk the high wire and they wouldn’t let me.”