It Must Have Been the Mistletoe

by Judy Astley

  She wasn’t quite the last up. As she went across the hallway she could hear low laughter from the two smokers outside and the door was open a couple of inches.

  Thea munched Santa’s mince pie while she made herself a mug of tea. She thought briefly of Sean over in the stable block. In the morning she’d go down and watch him surfing – she was looking forward to that, and to being in the cold, fresh air with plenty of room to breathe. The house was hot and the atmosphere between them all was almost quivering with the tension of everyone trying not to be tense. Probably one day they’d all be able to get together and say, ‘Do you remember that mad Cornish Christmas?’ and laugh about it, but for now it simply had to be got through as good-naturedly as possible.

  She switched off the kitchen light and was about to go back across the hallway to the staircase when she realized there were voices whispering together just ahead of her. Charlotte giggled and Alec said, ‘Shh!’ Thea saw Charlotte close and lock the front door and point upwards to the ceiling.

  They were under the mistletoe, though to be fair, given the size of the clump, it was hard to be in the hall and not be under it.

  ‘G’night. Sleep tight,’ Alec whispered loudly to Charlotte, who giggled again.

  ‘Tight’s the word. Though not like that, not me.’ And the two of them collapsed against each other in a fit of suppressed laughter. Thea crept backwards out of the hall as they went silent, not wanting to see them twined together beneath the huge bough, kissing in a far more than politely-because-it’s-Christmas way. Oh terrific, she thought as she tiptoed to the far side of the house to go up the back staircase. Now there was a potentially wild complication.

  So Mike still did that thing with his socks, Anna thought as she pulled the duvet up to her chin. The socks were in the far corner of the room, rolled together into a ball. It had mildly irritated her for years, that, the way he peeled them off, coupled them together and then hurled them like a county cricket-level bowler across the room instead of simply putting them in the laundry basket in the bathroom. To be fair, there wasn’t a laundry basket here for them to go in, but still. Also to be fair, she now found it quite sweet that he still had this same little quirk. She’d bet serious money, though, that he didn’t do the sock thing when he was bedding Charlotte. The thought gave her a little painful knot of grumpiness inside, though it might have been Maria’s sticky-toffee pudding which had been far too more-ish than was good for her.

  The bathroom door opened and Mike came out, glistening and pink from the shower and stark naked. She avoided looking at his body in case he thought she was missing him in that way.

  ‘Lights out, or are you reading?’ he asked, climbing into bed on the far side of her. There seemed an acre of cool white sheet between them as each of them lay on their separate islands of bed.

  This wasn’t a situation either of them would have chosen, after all, Anna thought. It was a case of needs must. The idea of sleeping with Alec when all her family were around her was a completely dreadful one. They’d never even done a whole night together and she didn’t really want to. It would be too domestic. Far too coupley. They hadn’t got to that stage yet and she wasn’t in any hurry. In fact, she didn’t think she’d want it at all. What was that awful term? ‘Friend with benefits’? It was a pretty unattractive phrase but it summed things up for her. It was about the most she would go for. What, after all, was the point of divorcing her sweet husband with his quite mild (if slightly irksome) sock-throwing habits just to take up with someone who might have far worse ones? Alec might be a toenail picker who went click-click at it when he thought you weren’t taking notice. You had no idea till after the early polite days were over and old unthinking ways kicked in. Ugh. Sometimes there really was a case for the devil you knew. Or no devil at all.

  ‘Lights out, I think. I expect we’ll be woken by the children in a couple of hours. I doubt they’ll open their stockings in silence.’

  ‘You’re right. Ours never did. Do you remember them rushing in all shiny-eyed, to tell us Santa had been? You have to pretend you have no idea.’

  Mike switched his light off, turned his pillow over – something else he’d always done, as if it had already become hot before he’d even put his head on it – and lay down. He sighed.

  ‘Great beds, these,’ he said.

  ‘Very nice,’ she replied. Beneath the duvet she quickly pulled her silky nightdress down over her thighs. She felt a bit awkward, as if she were sharing her bed with someone not that familiar to her. Ridiculous. But she didn’t want to risk skin-to-skin contact with him, not now she was also sharing the premises with that Charlotte woman.

  ‘Yours is an odd bugger,’ Mike then declared.

  ‘My what?’ she answered him, knowing quite well what he meant but wanting time before she answered. A whitish light shone through the curtains. A reflection of snow, she realized. It had made the air a misty shade of grey-blue instead of being proper night-dark. She liked the way it made the room not quite dark but not annoyingly so, the way a too-bright streetlamp further up a road could, back home.

  ‘Your bloke. Your Alec.’

  ‘He’s not really “my” anything,” she said, then because it felt unfairly dismissive of her friend, she added, ‘And he’s not at all odd.’

  ‘He’s terrified of us all. Apart from Thea and you.’

  ‘Well, of course he is! Who wouldn’t be? It’s a bit overwhelming, joining a big party of related people. Have some sympathy.’

  ‘Why? It was his choice to come. I wonder what the hell he expected? To be having Christmas jollies in your bed?’

  ‘Certainly not. He knew you were here.’

  ‘But he also knows we’re divorcing.’

  ‘Oh, for heaven’s sake, are you jealous, Mike? You sound it.’

  ‘Jealous? No! Are you?’

  Anna laughed. ‘Of Charlotte the harlot? Hardly! She’s a piece of work though, isn’t she? What on earth were you thinking? Talk about obvious.’

  ‘Obvious what?’

  ‘Obvious as in not a shrinking violet. Brash, loud, boozy.’

  ‘OK, OK, I get the drift. She’s a laugh, Charlotte. And you’ve got to admit, she’s handy in the kitchen.’

  ‘She’s not lazy, no. And I do appreciate that.’

  ‘Well, there you are then, that’s a plus: she’s very willing.’

  ‘I bet she is.’ Anna wished she hadn’t said that. It sounded mean and snitty, and also possessive towards Mike. Not that she was, of course. Far from it.

  ‘Not worthy of you, that comment. Especially given the circs.’

  ‘So are we going to sleep or are we going to lie here, slagging off each other’s squeezes?’

  Mike chuckled. ‘Oh, don’t spoil the moment. Let’s carry on slagging.’

  ‘It’s tempting. There’s plenty of scope with yours. You’d think a singer would cut out the fags.’

  ‘It gives her voice a husky edge. Yours is a smoker too. You can’t beat up on Charlotte for that.’

  ‘She’s a bad influence. I’ve never seen Alec smoke more than one in an evening before.’

  ‘Aha, he’s weak-minded then. I’ll add that to his downside list.’ Mike rubbed his hands together, relishing his argument.

  ‘Are we getting a bit silly here? These are people we choose to spend time with. Shall we cut them some slack?’

  ‘Hell, no. This is war. But I promise I’ll behave in public, as it were, if you will.’

  ‘I’ll be as nice as pie to yours then. In the spirit of Christmas cheer.’

  ‘Thank you. And so will I. We should shake on that.’ He held out his hand and she shook it, solemnly.

  ‘This is so silly,’ she said, smiling at him.

  ‘I know.’ He turned and leaned on one arm, looking at her face.

  ‘What is it?’ she asked.

  ‘Christmas kiss?’

  ‘OK.’ She moved across, and he held her close.

  ‘I’m feeling rather pleased to se
e you,’ he said.

  ‘I can tell,’ she murmured, feeling rather pleased herself about the fact. She wriggled closer to him. So much for the not-touching thing. This was good, warm and tender and rather delightful.

  ‘I didn’t expect this,’ Mike said rather breathlessly. ‘And before you ask, I didn’t plan it either.’

  ‘It’s OK, we won’t blame ourselves for anything that happens now,’ Anna said as she kissed him. ‘It’s that massive mistletoe Thea brought in – it has a long-range effect.’

  TWELVE

  The pounding of small footsteps and some excited squealing in the corridor outside her room woke Thea at 6.30 a.m. And while she’d admit that Milly and Alfie had done well to sleep as late as that, she pulled the duvet over her ears and closed her eyes again, in hope of another hour’s peace.

  ‘Thea! Thea! Father Christmas came and we got stockings with lots of things!’ Alfie ran into her bedroom and bounced onto the bed, thumping his stocking full of now-unwrapped presents onto her stomach.

  ‘Oof!’ she protested, moving over to make room for her nephew. Milly followed and the two of them sat beside her, tipping out their loot onto the duvet.

  ‘We get our other presents after breakfast,’ Milly said excitedly, opening a pot of bubble mixture and spilling some on her pyjamas. ‘So can we have breakfast now?’

  Thea reached for some tissues and mopped up the spilled gooey liquid. Milly dipped the wand into the pot and blew a string of bubbles across the bed.

  ‘I’ve got colouring pens. Look!’ Alfie was taking the lid off a fat orange marker and Thea realized she’d have to wake up properly now to guard the room from possible indelible damage.

  ‘Do Mummy and Daddy know you’re in here? Have you shown them what Santa brought yet?’ she asked.

  ‘Mummy said we should come and show you first,’ Alfie said.

  Milly hit his arm. ‘Ouch!’ he wailed.

  ‘We’re not supposed to say that,’ she said crossly. ‘Mummy said she wanted a bit more me-time but that you’d like to see our presents, only not to say she sent us.’

  Thea smiled. ‘I won’t tell her you said it. I expect she’s just needing a bit more sleep because it’s going to be a busy day. But even if I get you some breakfast, I can’t let you open your other presents, not till everyone else is there. You know that really, don’t you?’

  ‘Yes. S’pose,’ Milly conceded, looking gloomy, then she cheered up and said with glee, ‘Alfie sicked up the sugar mice. It was gusting.’

  ‘Yes, I heard about that. I also heard you’d been a greedy pair of rabbits and eaten far too much.’

  ‘I’ve got more chocolate money,’ Alfie said, delving into his stocking and pulling out a gold-mesh sack. ‘I’ll have them for breakfast. Can I, Thea?’

  ‘Sorry, sweetie, I think those had better wait for later. And chocolate and white duvet covers don’t really go, do they? Maybe we’ll all have some down on the beach later when we go to watch Sean surfing.’

  ‘Is Sean the man? The one with the cat?’ Milly asked. ‘You went out with him for the mistletoe. Is he your boyfriend?’

  Thea laughed. ‘He is the mistletoe man. This is his house and he’s not my boyfriend.’

  ‘I wish he was your boyfriend, because then you could marry him and have some babies and then we’d have more cousins than just Elmo.’ Milly blew another stream of bubbles which popped with little bursts of mist on the bed.

  ‘I want more cousins too,’ Alfie demanded, followed by, ‘What are cousins?’

  ‘They’re Elmo and they’re what Thea’s babies would be because she’s Mummy’s sister. They’d be our cousins,’ the little girl declared. ‘And we’d love them.’

  Thea felt choked up suddenly and reached out to pull the children to her for a big hug. ‘And they’d love you too,’ she told them, as soon as she could trust herself to get the words out.

  ‘So this is where you are.’ Sam looked in through the open door and grinned at them all. ‘Happy Christmas, Thea! Sorry about the invasion. Em was feeling a bit headachey. She’s better now she’s had a soak in the bath.’

  ‘These two have been showing me what was in their stockings,’ she told Sam.

  ‘I hope they’re behaving.’

  ‘They are. But they want their breakfast.’

  ‘Come on then, you two, let’s go and see what’s in the kitchen. I think there’s some pigs in blankets for a treat.’

  ‘Ugh! Pigs!’ Milly wrinkled her nose up.

  ‘And angels on horseback too. After you’ve shown Mummy what you’ve got, just quickly.’

  Alfie laughed. ‘Horses and pigs! Like a huge dinosaur’s breakfast!’

  Sam refilled the stockings and took the children back to his room. Thea curled up under the duvet again and thought about the baby she hadn’t got. What would it have been like? She indulged herself with a moment’s imagining, thinking of these two bickering over who got a go at pushing the pram in the park. She pictured a picnic blanket on a sunny lawn, her baby in a sunhat and Milly helping him or her with a shape sorter. She’d pretty much avoided letting these pictures into her head over the past six months, but today, of all days, she thought she could allow herself a few last if-only moments. It didn’t make her horribly sad, not like in those first few weeks, but it did make her send up one big Christmas wish that, just because it hadn’t worked out last time, then please – one day – could all these imaginings actually come true.

  It all looked very lovely. Anna, lighting the fire, looked at the many gaudily wrapped presents arranged beneath Emily’s glittery tree and couldn’t help wondering what next Christmas would be like, once she and Mike had moved on to separate premises. It was all very well being so cheerfully civilized about it all, but they weren’t likely to have a regular family Christmas like this in future. Other new partners, if any, weren’t likely to put up with it and they’d have family ties of their own to be catered for. Charlotte and Alec weren’t finding it that easy being here, though Charlotte was brazening it out with the help of wine, and these two were still only in the category of being occasional dates rather than full-scale partners.

  The fire started to crackle and she added more wood and put the guard across it, then went to the window. Dawn came later down in Cornwall than it did in London, and the last pearly remains of night grey were still in the air even though it was past nine. Thick snow sat frozen-edged on the trees and the ground, showing no signs of melting any time soon. Here and there, the spikes of daffodils poked above the white, and footprints from the night’s marauding wildlife criss-crossed the garden. Anna identified a cat’s paw-prints and some bigger ones that were probably a fox, and beneath the window on the terrace were twiggy little marks from birds’ feet. The bird table had a couple of furious starlings squabbling over yesterday’s toast crumbs and bacon rinds, and she reminded herself she must put out more for them. It must be hard, foraging for survival in this weather. The birds of Cornwall must be thoroughly confused by all this snow.

  ‘Happy CHRISTMAAAS!’ Footsteps thumped down the stairs along with the bright, brash sound of Charlotte. ‘Oooh, a victim!’ she shrieked and Anna opened the door just in time to see her ambush Mike, who was crossing the hallway. Charlotte planted a fat, wet kiss on him beneath the mistletoe and flung her arms round his neck, hugging him close and wriggling against him.

  Mike grimaced at Anna over Charlotte’s shoulder. He was gently patting her as if she were a child to be indulged or comforted, and Anna escaped into the kitchen to avoid seeing whether Charlotte inveigled him into some full-scale snogging. Some things you really didn’t want to witness. Especially not when you’d been doing much the same only hours before. It was prob ably wiser just to go and have breakfast: she was sure the slight gnawing feeling inside must be hunger. Of course it was – the scent of bacon and sausages was all that was stirring her insides. It couldn’t possibly be the thought of having to face Alec.

  If Anna were a young twenty-something or i
n her early thirties like Thea, she’d probably put what happened the night before down to ‘a mistake’, but she’d been a long time grown up, and she and Mike had both known exactly what they were doing. She still felt a tingle of excitement thinking about last night. It had been like newly discovering both a best friend and a lover, and it had felt a lot like when she’d first met him nearly forty years previously. As she opened the fridge for milk for her tea, she wondered how Mike felt about it. The thought that he might not feel the same was a possibility that she didn’t want to consider. Not today, anyway. Not when there was still so much of Christmas to get through.

  The turkey went into the oven while everyone was still helping themselves to breakfast around it. Thea and Emily closed the door on the huge bird and breathed big sighs of relief.

  ‘It’s massive,’ Thea said. ‘Poor thing, don’t you always feel sorry for them? They get stuffed at both ends and gussied up and blanketed in bacon and surrounded by dinky sausages and then in the end we just eat them as if they’re just big old everyday chickens.’

  ‘They are, though, really, aren’t they? What did you want for it, a state funeral?’

  Emily’s tone was a bit sharp. Thea stepped back and went to clean the worktop, scooping stuffing crumbs and bits of onion into the bin. She wasn’t going to snap back at her, not today.

  ‘Sorry, Tee. Didn’t mean to be horrible. I feel a bit yuck this morning, that’s all.’

  ‘Headache? Shall I get you something for it?’ Thea asked.

  ‘Oh no, it’ll go off. I don’t want to take anything.’

  ‘Come down to the beach and watch the surfers later. The air will clear your brain,’ Thea suggested.

  ‘I will. The children want to go down the hillside on their sledges. I’ll go and get them dressed, then they can open their main presents. It’s going to be chaos in that room, all the unwrapping.’

  ‘It’s OK, it’s only paper, easily cleared. Em, are you all right? You haven’t really looked relaxed since we got here.’

  To Thea’s surprise, Emily’s eyes filled with tears. ‘I’m OK. It’s just’ – she waved her arm vaguely – ‘all this. Mum and Dad. These random people they’ve brought in. I mean, why? Were we never enough? What bloody more do they want?’