It Must Have Been the Mistletoe

by Judy Astley

  Thea shrugged. ‘They want the same as the rest of us, I expect. To be happy, to be loved, to get by.’ She’d quite like some of that too, she thought. Here’s hoping for the new year.

  ‘But that’s what I mean. We love them – why do they want to hook up with new people? Is this what happens? You think everything’s going really well and you love your partner and your children, and then all of a sudden you get to a certain age and you think, You know what? There’s more to life than this. Will it happen to me and Sam like it did with— Sorry. Forget I even started this. I’m so stupid.’

  ‘With me and Rich, you mean. Thinking about it, I know we were supposed to be engaged and everything, but really, we never got even halfway to what you’ve all got,’ Thea said. ‘We wanted different things. I wanted a family and he wanted’ – she felt her face give way to un expected laughter – ‘poodles.’

  ‘There’s a lot to be said for a dog,’ Emily agreed, laughing along with Thea, ‘but not that much.’

  Milly and Alfie came into the kitchen, dressed and washed. ‘Presents now!’ they demanded.

  ‘Not as much to be said for a dog as for these two. You are so lucky, Emily. Please don’t waste your time waiting for it all to go wrong.’

  Emily came up and gave her a quick hug. ‘You know, you can be quite wise at times,’ she said. ‘It’s just one more annoying thing about you: you got the looks and the brains.’

  ‘I never know when you’re joking,’ Thea said gently. ‘So you got the inscrutability gene.’

  ‘I wasn’t joking, not really.’ Emily laughed again. ‘And you can be quite annoying at times.’

  ‘It’s never too early for champagne, is it? Especially not on Christmas Day.’ Charlotte wasn’t so much asking Mike as simply stating a fact as she opened the fridge and took out a bottle. To be fair, he thought, she had brought a couple of bottles with her, but given her consumption rate there was a danger they’d be all out of wine by the time dinner was served. Luckily she didn’t know about the dozen bottles of Prosecco he’d still got stashed in the Sierra. There hadn’t been any point in bringing them in. The car was serving perfectly well as a fridge – that’s if he could get to it under the new snow that had fallen in the night. In fact, it wasn’t easy to tell which of the cars was even his.

  Charlotte was looking a bit haggard this morning, he thought, though she’d dressed up in a velvety dress and plenty of defiantly glittery jewellery. Her make-up seemed to have been put on without the use of a mirror, and one eye had a lot of dark blue eyeshadow and the other only half as much. He felt a bit guilty. Maybe she hadn’t taken to being a house-guest with quite the casual breeziness that she’d shown. But the two of them weren’t properly what his children’s generation would call ‘an item’. It was far looser an arrangement than that. Or so he’d thought. She’d never made any demands on his time. They’d met at a pub gig where she’d been doing a couple of numbers with a blues band and he’d been (until she’d turned up here) under the impression that she was a completely free spirit. Now he wondered if she really did want more.

  Even so, he thought as he fetched her a glass from the cupboard, it was a bit of a cheek on her part to come here claiming that something more under the noses of his whole family, especially his not-yet-ex-wife. Talking of which, last night had been a jolt. Over a year of sleeping apart. And a good year before that of a fading-out and perfunctory sex life and now, suddenly, oomph. What to do? How to be?

  Charlotte slumped into a chair and fanned her face with her hand. She was looking a bit over-heated. It should probably be a glass of water he was handing her, not opening the champagne. He didn’t want to think what her blood pressure must be like.

  In the background Mike could hear the squeals of Alfie and Milly opening their presents. Any minute now they’d be riding their bikes into the kitchen.

  ‘Are you all right, Char?’ he asked as he handed her a glass of the bubbly stuff.

  She took it and had a sniff at it. ‘Ah, bliss. That biscuity scent. They should sell it on the perfume counter.’ Then, ‘Yes, I’m fine.’ She gave him a questioning look. ‘How about you?’

  ‘Me? Oh, fine, yes. I hope you’re not having too terrible a time, that’s all. Sorry about, you know.’ He looked up at the ceiling.

  ‘Oh, don’t even think about it, sweetie. I may be an old slapper but even I don’t expect to shag you right under the gaze of your entire family.’ She gave him a seductive smile and said, ‘I can wait. Or not. Whatever will be and so on. I see my job here as cheering up that Alec. Poor chap is pining for your wife like a lost puppy. What on earth is he doing here?’

  ‘An accidental invitation. Anna crossed some wires for him. Didn’t mean to.’

  ‘I think he loves her,’ Charlotte said.

  ‘I don’t blame him.’ The words slipped out before Mike could stop them.

  Charlotte looked at him and took a large gulp of her drink. ‘I knew it,’ she said. ‘You two will never be over each other.’

  ‘Probably not, not completely. Sorry.’

  ‘Don’t be. We’ve had fun. We can still have fun.’

  He took her hand. ‘Of course we can.’ But he knew that the fun he meant was to do with music, and the fun she had in mind wasn’t.

  ‘We won’t see him all day now,’ Jimi said to Thea as Elmo got his head down over his new iPad and started tapping away at it. ‘Awesome,’ had been his response on opening all his presents, just as a huge squeal had been the reactions of Milly and Alfie when opening theirs. The rug had vanished beneath a sea of wrapping paper and dollies and cars and dressing-up clothes and Lego and packaging and Milly rode her new scarlet bike across the lot, howled at by Alfie.

  ‘Can I go out?’ she yelled from the hallway.

  ‘What do I do?’ Emily asked Thea. ‘I can hardly give her a bike and then say, “No, you can’t ride it,” can I? But look at it. It’s like an ice rink out there.’

  Thin snow was falling again. It wasn’t as pretty as the fat flakes of the day before but it was quickly covering up any footprints that were still visible.

  ‘You could walk out there with her, show her how slippery it is and suggest she waits till the snow’s gone?’ Thea suggested.

  ‘Good plan. It beats saying yes and then having her fall off on the snow and break her arm.’ Emily took hold of her own forearm and rubbed it, as if putting a no-breaks spell on all bones on behalf of her children.

  Emily opened the door and she and Thea and Milly put their boots on and went outside. ‘I’m bringing my bike,’ Milly insisted, pulling it through to the porch.

  ‘It’ll get all snowy,’ Thea told her.

  ‘I don’t care, I want to ride it.’

  ‘Just walk about a bit first,’ Emily said, as Milly wheeled the bike out to the garden. Thea’s phone rang suddenly and Emily, distracted, could only watch as Milly climbed on to her bike and sped away from her, towards the side of the house where the cars were parked.

  ‘Milly! Stop!’ Emily yelled.

  ‘I’ll be back in a minute,’ Thea said, fishing her phone out of her pocket and turning back towards the house. There was Rich’s name on the screen and she was pressing the green answer button when there was a crash and a scream from around the corner of the house.

  ‘Is she all right?’ Thea shouted, abandoning the call and quickly slithering round towards the stable block. Milly was lying against the side of Mike’s Sierra, tangled up in her new bike. She prayed the child wasn’t damaged and the same for the bike – how awful for the poor girl would it be for the first ride to make it a buckled write-off?

  ‘Oh God, I don’t know. Milly? Does anything hurt?’ Emily was crouched over her child.

  ‘What’s happening?’ Sean came out from the Stables, pulling on his sheepskin jacket. ‘Hello! Happy Christmas, all of you. I see you’ve celebrated by having a bit of an accident. Are you OK, little one?’

  ‘Owww!’ Milly wailed as Emily started to move the bike from her.<
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  ‘Hang on a sec,’ Thea said. ‘Let’s just check a couple of things first.’

  ‘You’re a first-aider?’ Sean asked.

  ‘Yes – goes with the teaching job. Milly, did you hit your head?’

  ‘Nooo! I’m getting cold!’ she wailed. ‘And my knee hurts.’ She wriggled about, trying to get up.

  ‘Limbs all seem to work,’ Sean said. ‘That’s a good sign.’ He and Thea pulled the bike off Milly and she bounced up like a lithe kitten and prodded at her knee.

  Thea wheeled the bike in a circle and nothing seemed to be wrong with it.

  ‘Do you want to come in for a plaster and a bandage or anything?’ Sean asked.

  ‘Oh – that’s kind, but no thanks,’ Emily said. ‘I’ll just get her inside and into dry clothes and see what she’s done to her knee.’

  ‘But I want another go,’ Milly said crossly. ‘Not going in yet.’

  ‘I think you are, darling, just for a while. The snow will go soon and then it’ll be safe to ride your new bike. Come and play with your other toys now. Shall we make a bracelet with your Rainbow Loom?’

  On that thought, Milly cheered up and went back to the house with Emily.

  ‘Can I tempt you to coffee and one of your own mince pies?’ Sean asked. ‘I’ve managed not to eat them all so far.’

  Thea thought of the call she hadn’t taken. Should she call Rich back? It would be madly unfriendly to let him think she’d deliberately cut him off so abruptly. What could be so bad about wishing each other a Happy Christmas? All the same, Sean was here looking bright and friendly and far more deserving of a positive response than Rich was. Rich could wait.

  ‘Yes, please, that would be good. I could do with a few minutes’ peace – it’s all go in there.’

  ‘I bet it is,’ Sean said, laughing as they went into the house. ‘I remember it well. I’m one of five children and there are several nieces and nephews. Last Christmas was at my sister’s in Scotland, and by lunchtime there wasn’t an inch of floor that wasn’t covered in toys and wrapping.’ He filled the kettle and took the box of mince pies out of the cupboard and turned down the music that was belting out from the computer – the Phil Spector Christmas album, with the Ronettes singing ‘Walking in a Winter Wonderland’.

  ‘Don’t you miss that family stuff, this year?’

  ‘Not really. It was fun at the time but I like being here too. It’s something different. I like the something-differents in life. Though I can’t pretend I wouldn’t give a lot for one of those Australian surfer barbecues with a few tinnies with mates in the blazing sun right now. But then if I was there and knew there was a once-in-a-lifetime white Christmas over here, I’d be gutted.’

  ‘Well, you’ll have the surfing later, so that’s that bit covered.’

  His wetsuit was hanging over the back of the sofa and one of the boards was down from where it had hung on the wall and was propped up near the door.

  ‘You’ll freeze out there,’ she commented. ‘Is Paul coming to the beach to watch?’

  ‘Paul? No – he’ll be swanning about at his folks’ place in the velvet monogrammed slippers his mum will have bought him. He ‘fessed up a couple of months back, when he was telling me which rugs we needed, that he’s always fancied a pair so I let on to his mother. He only needs a quilted smoking jacket to complete the look, the big fairy.’ He laughed. ‘And yes, I’m allowed to call him that. He calls me worse.’

  Thea was amused. ‘Some couples do go in for insulting nicknames, don’t they?’

  ‘I expect so,’ he said, looking vague. ‘It’s been a while since I called anyone anything fond. Apart from you, Elf.’ He smiled at her, looking strangely bashful. Before she could reply to that, he asked, ‘Do you want a slug of medicinal Christmas brandy in this?’ He indicated the coffee.

  ‘No, thanks. There’s a lot of day to get through. I’ll wait till later.’

  ‘Me too. So sensible, aren’t we?’ They went and sat by the fire where Woody was lying with his tummy turned to absorb the heat. His little face seemed to be smiling and his body twitched in his sleep.

  ‘Dreaming,’ Sean said quietly. ‘Who wouldn’t want the life of a pampered cat? He must have been a human who had a very saintly life. To be reincarnated as someone’s loved cat has to be a reward, doesn’t it?’

  ‘It does. It makes being a dog seem like really hard work, by comparison. They always look as if they’re trying so hard to please their people.’ She was thinking of Benji, that great mass of curly orange fur who’d stand in front of Rich panting to be taken out, bringing his ball and his lead and waiting with his black tongue hanging out and trembling with eagerness. He’d been a sweet dog and she suddenly missed his big soft presence. She didn’t, she realized, miss Rich any more. Not at all.

  ‘Hmm – not sure. I never think those tiny handbag dogs look as if they want to please anyone but themselves. Nor do they ever look particularly pleased by anything, the same way cats do.’

  ‘True. Coming back as one of those must be a disappointment. It says, “Sorry, nice try but not quite good enough”.’

  There was a small silence. Sean was looking at Thea. ‘You’re very silly, you know, Elf.’

  ‘Am I?’ She felt slightly hurt.

  ‘Yes. In a good way. You’re almost as silly as I am. I love it. There aren’t many like you out there. You’re a rarity.’ He clinked his mug against hers. ‘A very Merry Christmas to you.’

  He hadn’t kissed her this time, she thought as she left the Stables. Not a Christmas peck or a hug or anything. Thea rather wished he had – she’d have been ready for it, not awkwardly caught by surprise. Sean was so warm and – she had to admit – rather beautiful. OK, so he wasn’t on the available list but she liked the easy way he’d gone for some minor physical contact with her in the last few days. It felt good to be hugged, to be stroked a bit. She hoped he hadn’t thought she’d been wondering if he fancied her and was now withdrawing to a safe distance to make sure she got the message. It was fine – it didn’t need spelling out. Or maybe it was what she’d so stupidly blurted out about this being the day she should have been having a baby. He hadn’t asked her about that – he had just let it go and now she wondered if it had embarrassed him or whether he’d thought it was just too much information. After all, what a thing to come out with to someone you’d only met a few days before! It probably wasn’t a great idea to give them instant pictures in their head of you going through childbirth. They’d want to press ‘delete’ on that, immediately.

  She was about to go into the house through the side door and up the back staircase to her room, but instead she took the phone out of her pocket and looked to see if Rich had left a message. There was a voicemail. She didn’t feel like being on the premises with all the others while she listened to it; even her own room wasn’t safe from invasion by a family member wondering where she was, the children showing her a toy or Emily wanting to borrow some eyeshadow, so she wandered down the driveway and into the shrubbery.

  Happy Christmas, Thea. Just wanted to talk to you, see how you are on this day of all of them. Call me, if you get a chance. Lots of love to you.

  Well, that was a surprise, she thought, leaning against a tree. So he’d remembered. She’d thought he’d obliterated all awareness that there’d been the beginnings of their baby from his mind for ever. She’d call him back. Maybe at last he realized it could have meant more to him than the inconvenience that he’d thought it at the time.

  ‘Rich? Hi, it’s me.’

  ‘Thea. How are you?’

  ‘I’m very well, thanks.’ The ‘very’ mattered. She didn’t want him to have the slightest doubt that she was OK without him. ‘I’m down in Cornwall with the family.’

  ‘Cornwall?’ He made it sound as if she was halfway to Mars. ‘Well, that’s nice. Do send them my kind regards.’ He sounded so formal. She remembered how he’d always seemed years older than he was, with the vocabulary of his parents’ generation as i
f he’d never really mixed with his own age group.

  ‘I just wondered, Thea – I wanted you to have something. But obviously I have to ask you first.’

  For one awful moment she wondered if he was about to tell her he’d changed his mind and would she marry him after all. She could imagine him down the phone, turning that diamond ring over and over in his hand as he had done the first time. It would be a no. A polite and gentle no, but a definite one.

  ‘I wanted to ask you … would you like a puppy? Benji’s sired a litter.’

  ‘Oh, how sweet! Give him a pat from me, won’t you? I do miss him sometimes.’

  ‘You could have your own Benji then.’

  Did she want a puppy? Not really – she was out working most of the day. What on earth would she do with it? Take it with her? The class would love that. The school, less so.

  ‘That’s very kind of you, Rich, but I really can’t have a dog. It wouldn’t be fair on it.’

  ‘Are you sure? Liz says we can let you have it for half the going price. Great pedigree, obviously.’

  Price? So it wasn’t even a gift? If ever there was a moment to have your breath taken away, this was it.

  ‘You want to sell me a puppy?’ she managed to say.

  ‘Well, yes. So you don’t want one then? Shame. It would have been nice for you to have something to remember us by.’

  ‘Yes, it would,’ she said, feeling very down, suddenly.

  ‘Well, never mind. I’m sure I’ll find him a good home. And it’s good to talk to you again, on this special day.’

  ‘It is special, isn’t it?’ she murmured into the phone. Well, at least he acknowledged that much; it was something.

  ‘Yes. Christmas Day – always the year’s highlight. Anyway, I won’t keep you. Liz says hello.’

  And he was gone, just as she realized he had completely forgotten the day’s other significance.

  Thea rolled a good solid snowball and hurled it at a tree trunk. ‘Fucking tosser!’ she shouted as loudly as she could, hoping the essence of the message made it all the way up the country to Cheshire.