by Lisa Lace
“You know why. Business is business, but this is different. I won’t take part in any of this from now on. I won’t cause her pain by dragging this out. Know that she’s something special, Vincent. Take care of her. She chose you. You got what you wanted.”
He circles around me like a shark, finishing the last of his wine and placing it down on the piano. “Oh no, Ethan. You’ve got it wrong. I never wanted Lily.”
I narrow my eyes. “Then what has this all been about?”
Vincent picks up some paperwork from a stand nearby and hands it to me. My eyes scan the text. It’s a property deed for the Cherrydon Apartments building—where Lily lives.
“What is this?”
“My latest investment.”
“Why have you bought Lily’s apartment?”
“She loves that place, right? Why am I asking you? You know she does.” Vincent sits on the piano stool, tapping his foot gleefully on the ground. “She told me so herself. She’s scrimped and saved, blah, blah, blah. It’s her sanctuary, and so on.”
“Vincent?”
“I’m evicting her, Ethan. I think I might build a day spa.”
I stare at him. “Why would you do that?”
“Maybe I won’t. You know, I haven’t decided yet.”
I wait for Vincent to explain himself. He looks up at me with a malicious gleam in his eye. “You have something I want.”
I know what he’s talking about. “The defense contract.”
Vincent stands and starts to pace again. “You have Healy in the palm of your hand. No matter what I do, he’s already decided he wants Steele Industries. The only way I’m going to get that contract is if you pull out.”
“And why would I do that?”
“To save poor Lily from being out on the streets.”
I scowl. “You know I would never let that happen, Vincent. I’ll buy her a home outright. A dozen houses.”
“You might be able to buy her another apartment, but you’ll never be able to buy her forgiveness. Not when she finds out that she was evicted because the great Ethan Steele wouldn’t back down. But why should you care, right? Lily’s apartment is some run-down, lowly hovel. At least, that’s how she’s going to think you see it.”
I look down at the date on the deed. “You’ve been planning this for a long time.”
“Ever since you announced you were going to be releasing that ridiculous app. I thought to myself, ‘What is Ethan Steele’s weakness?’ Then, you pretty much put it right into my hands. I still remember how you went on and on about that girl.”
“Ethan, are you still up? It’s four in the morning.”
“Sorry, Vincent.”
“What are you doing?”
I hear Vincent roll over in his bed. The shine of my flashlight casts a beam far enough to illuminate his tired expression and weary eyes. He squints through the darkness to see what I’m looking at, then groans. “Are you writing another letter? Jesus, Ethan, you know you’re never going to send it.”
“I know I need to explain myself. I just can’t find the words.”
“You’re not going to find them in the middle of the night. Go to sleep. God, this girl must have really been something.”
“You have no idea.”
“Why don’t you go back there and see her face to face, instead of all this agonizing like some lovesick Shakespearian hero? You’re driving me insane.”
“I only need to find the right words.”
“How about, ‘Lily, I didn’t want to live in the gutters with you. I got a scholarship to the Ivy League, and I took it. Love, Ethan.’”
I scoff at his response. “What we had was special.”
“Obviously not that special if you took off.”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“No, I don’t understand. All I know is that you keep waking me up in the middle of the night so you can write a bunch of letters you never post. Go. To. Sleep.”
I switch off my flashlight and roll onto my back. I think of Lily, her bright blue eyes and fair hair, her freckles and lively smile. I think of all the moments we’ve shared, good and bad: the years of childhood friendship before high school, an awkward teenage romance, painting together, the days we adventured and explored, my first taste of bitter coffee at Molly’s, skinny dipping on a golf course, dancing at prom, lying in bed. Our time together had been a glimpse of something true and pure, and I want Lily to know that I still love her.
But I can’t find the words or the courage to reach out.
Life is moving quickly, and every day that passes is another chance that Lily has met someone else. By now, she’s probably moved on.
I close my eyes, but I don’t sleep. I think of her.
My hands curl into fists at my side, then I release them. I’m beyond anger now. “You’re repulsive, Vincent. This is low, even for you.”
“It’s the game you chose to play, Ethan. You could have backed down long before now.”
“You threw the first stone.”
“That idea was more mine than yours, and you know it.”
“I wrote the code!”
Vincent shrugs. “I guess it doesn’t matter now anyway. All that matters is what you’re going to do right now. Give up the contract, or Lily finds out that you never gave a damn about her after all.”
“You think she’s going to fall into your arms after you blackmail me?”
He chuckled sadistically. “Ethan, you’re still not getting this: I don’t give a fuck about Lily Miller.”
“And if I refuse, you kick her out of her home? You get nothing but the satisfaction of knowing that you hurt someone I care about. You’d really do that?”
“The ball’s in your court, Ethan.”
I put a hand to my head. I want to think Vincent’s bluffing, but I’ve seen the papers. I know that he has the power to evict Lily, and I know that he’s done worse before.
“This is pointless, Vincent. You’re not even up to the defense contract. This was always going to be a shot in the dark for you. You don’t have the resources to fund a project like that. You don’t have the network or the people on your team. You’re going through all this just to fail anyway.”
Vincent scowls. “With however many billions that contract pays, I can resource whatever the fuck I need to. This contract will be the making of me. No more schmoozing and presentations and proposals. Oswald Solutions will be the market leader.”
“This is national security we’re talking about, Vincent. You can’t simply wing it because you want to make a name for yourself.”
“Did you ever send that letter to Lily in the end, Ethan?”
I freeze, my lips drawing back from my teeth in a snarl. Vincent takes a step toward me.
“Imagine trying to find the words to explain this to her. No letter’s going to cut it, is it? She’ll never talk to you again. And I know you want her, Ethan. I’ve got people on the ground who’ve seen you with her. I hear you spent a steamy night in her apartment. Tut, tut, Ethan. That was after our first date.”
“So, you’re spying on me now?”
“You’re always watching me, I’m always watching you.”
“I came here to end this, Vincent.”
“Then end it.” He taps the deed I’m still gripping in my hand. “I’ll sign the apartments over to you first thing in the morning if you call Healy and tell him you’re pulling out of the deal.”
“Vincent, think carefully about what you’re asking me to do. This is the Department of Defense. Are you really up to that job?”
Vincent rolls his eyes. “I think I can handle it, Ethan. I’m getting tired of this now. I need an answer. Are you going to pull out of the contract, or not?”
“If I do, you’ll sign over the apartment block to me?”
“Cherrydon is yours. What’s more, I’ll leave Lily alone. I’ll go back to New York, and she’ll never hear from me again.”
When I arrive back at the office, Jennifer is the
only one still there. She’s sitting in the boardroom at the table with a coffee clasped in her hand. She looks tired. Her long, strawberry-blonde hair is tousled from where she keeps running her hands through it. She runs her fingers through it again when I enter, her eyes lighting up with relief. “I’ve been calling you, Ethan. You’ve been gone for hours. I was starting to think that you and Vincent had finally killed each other.”
I laugh and fall into the chair opposite her. “It’s over.”
“What do you mean, ‘it’s over’?”
“Everything. Me and Lily. Me and Vincent. The defense contract.”
Jennifer pales. “What do you mean ‘the defense contract’?”
I pull out the crumpled deed from my inside jacket pocket and slide it across the table. “Vincent bought out Lily’s building. He said he was going to evict her if I didn’t pull out of the deal.”
“So?” Jennifer’s voice begins to rise. “You could have bought Lily her own goddamn apartment block. Ethan, what have you done?”
I hold up my hand to stop her. “I know, Jen. Trust me, I know.”
She falls silent a moment. Jennifer is a strong woman, but she looks like she’s about to cry. “We put so much work into that deal.”
“I just couldn’t do it to her, Jen. Lily deserves better than that.”
“And what about your staff? What about all the people who gave up Christmas and Thanksgiving with their families to work on this? What about everything we’ve all done for this contract—for you?”
I put my head in my hands. “You warned me to stop fucking around with Vincent. I should have listened.”
Jennifer lets out a long breath, then shakes her head. She lets go of the anger in her voice, speaks more calmly to me. “But it’s over? You and Vincent are done with this rivalry?”
I nod. “I’m not going to go seeking revenge. This is the last time I engage with Vincent. If he tries anything again, I’m not going to retaliate. I’m done with all that.”
Nodding, Jennifer taps her fingernails against her mug. “At least that’s one good thing to come out of all of this. And Lily? What happened with her?”
“She wants nothing to do with me. I asked her to come to New York. She didn’t want to leave. She doesn’t trust me anymore.”
“It’s really gone to shit this time, hasn’t it?”
“It really has.”
Jennifer rises and walks to stand behind me. She places a hand on my shoulder. “We’ll find a way to break the news to the team. All the research we’ve done can be applied to other projects. We’ve still broken ground with the work done here.”
I place my hand over hers. “Thanks, Jen.”
“You’re a good man, Ethan. We’ll get past this.” She heads towards the door. I can see her exhaustion in every step she takes. She looks back at me before she leaves. “I’m sorry about Lily.”
After Jennifer has gone to her hotel, I stay in the empty boardroom for a long time, thinking about how badly I’ve fucked up. The defense contract is down the drain, and I couldn’t win back Lily.
I wish I could go back to a time before all of this. Before Columbia, before Vincent, before New York. If I could rewind to those innocent years when it was just Lily and me, I’d never leave.
I still want her.
When I close my eyes, I see her as she was, a long time ago, standing by a window.
For the first time in forever, I have the urge to paint.
Lily
I meet Vincent at the hotel like he asked me to. When I arrive, he’s standing by his limousine, the valets packing his luggage into the trunk. “Are you leaving?”
“I’m catching a flight in an hour. The pilot’s waiting.”
“Oh. I didn’t realize you were going so soon.”
“Business calls.”
I come to a stop in front of him. There’s something peculiar about Vincent today. He’s not looking me in the eye, and it’s not nerves or sadness at goodbye. It’s more like indifference. He glances at his watch. “I’ve got to go.”
“When will you be back?”
Vincent shrugs. “I doubt I’ll be back. There’s not much for me in Payson.”
Doubt starts to gnaw at my stomach. “Then when will I hear from you?”
He sighs. It’s a patronizing sound, which becomes even more condescending when he lays a hand on my shoulder. “Look, Lily, it’s been fun, but this was never going to be a long-term thing. Did you seriously think I was going to fly back every weekend from New York to hang out with you in Rumsey Park?”
My mouth falls open, and I stammer. “But you said.”
“I know what I said, Lily. I thought it would get you in bed.” He grins. “Credit to you. You didn’t give it up easily. I respect that.”
“Was I just a game to you?”
Vincent looks disinterested. “I travel all the time. Sometimes it gets a bit dull. Especially somewhere like here. We matched on Destiny; I thought it would be fun to meet. You made me chase you. It was a challenge. I enjoyed our time. But, I own a multi-billion-dollar corporation. I’m hardly going to put that on the backburner to chase a piece of ass, however lovely you are.”
“What about all the time we spent together? What about the gallery? You must have spent millions and for what?”
He lifts his hands. “Millions are just a drop in the ocean these days.”
“I thought you said I was different.”
“And you are.”
“So, that’s it? You’re just going to get on your plane and leave?”
“I’m sorry, Lily. I don’t know what you expected from me. I was just mixing a bit of business with pleasure.”
“You’re a fucking asshole.”
He laughs. “Not the first time I’ve heard that.”
“I don’t understand why you did this.”
He smirks. “Does there have to be a reason? I thought I explained myself clearly, Lily. I was spicing up a business trip. That’s all. If it hadn’t been you, it would have been some other gullible young woman. You’re just the lucky lady I matched with.”
I blink back bitter, angry tears. “Is this funny to you?”
“I don’t know what you want me to say. Didn’t you get a kick out of it? A yacht, a gallery full of famous art. Those are some big experiences for a girl like you. Once in a lifetime, probably. We both had fun.”
“You arrogant prick! Don’t you dare try to act like you were doing me a favor.”
He shrugs. “Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy a taste of the good life, Lily. Even you aren’t above the allure of expensive things.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I’m choking up as I continue. “I didn’t go on those dates with you because you had money.”
“Well, you looked like you were having a good time to me.” He checks his watch again and nods to his driver who is standing by. Vincent leans forward and kisses me on the cheek. It makes my skin crawl. “I guess this is goodbye, then. It was fun, Lily. If you’re ever in New York, look me up. I’m easy enough to find.”
He gets into the limo, and it drives away. I stand there on the sidewalk, stunned. Then, the tears rise—big, ugly tears. I’m heaving with sobs in the middle of the street.
The valet who’d packed Vincent’s luggage asks if I’m okay. I shake my head, then run.
A block away, I slow down and check the time on my cell. Chloe should just be finishing her mid-morning class at Rumsey. I decide to jog there. She’s just finishing up when I arrive, and her eyes widen when she spots me at the edge of the group with my tear-stained eyes. “Keep stretching, everyone. We’ll pick this up next week.”
Chloe rushes over, putting her arm around me before she even asks what’s wrong. She ushers me over to a park bench, her face a picture of concern. “Honey, what happened?”
“I just saw Vincent.”
She frowns and bites down on her lip. She knows if I’m crying, it can’t be good news.
“What did he do?�
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I lean into her shoulder and sob. “He said it was just a fling. Asked if I really thought I was going to see him again. Chloe, I feel so stupid! I kept asking myself what someone like Vincent would be doing with a girl like me, and I should have trusted my gut. He was only passing the time. What the fuck is wrong with these men? What the fuck is wrong with me?”
“Shh.” Chloe rubs my back comfortingly. “There’s nothing wrong with you, sweetie. They’re idiots. I’m sorry this happened.”
“I turned down Ethan for him.”
“You turned down Ethan because you didn’t trust him.”
“But if Vincent hadn’t been in the picture, maybe I’d have given him another chance. Have I made a huge mistake?”
“You did what you had to do.”
I stay with Chloe for about an hour. She does her best to comfort me, but in the end, she has to leave. She promises that she’ll see me that night.
I start to wander home. As I’m walking, my cell rings. I glance at the screen and don’t recognize the number. “Hello?”
“Lily, it’s Ethan.”
My heart stops. I take the cell away from my ear, my finger hovering over the button to end the call. I bring it back to my ear. “How’d you get my number?”
“It’s on your website.”
“Oh.”
“Are you okay? You sound like you’ve been crying.”
The concern in Ethan’s voice sets me off again, and I continue to sob. He’d warned me about Vincent, and I didn’t listen. Now it’s Ethan on the end of the line, not vanishing this time. Just checking in.
“Vincent just left. He said he doesn’t want to see me again.” I arrive back at my apartment, let myself in, close the door behind me, and fall onto my bed. “He told me all these stories about how the distance didn’t matter, and I was special. I believed him.”
“I’m truly sorry, Lily.”
He doesn’t even say ‘I told you so.’
I sniff and hold back the rest of my tears. “Anyway, forget about that. You don’t want to hear about Vincent Oswald. Why were you calling?”
Ethan pauses on the end of the line. He speaks. “I go back to New York in a couple of days. I know you don’t want anything romantic with me right now, and that’s fine, but I can’t bear to leave on bad terms. I want to see you. This time I want to say goodbye properly. Can we meet?”