Learning to Lean

by Mildred Colvin

  “Perfect.”

  Heather’s van wasn’t in the parking lot when Matt pulled into the diner. He killed the engine and waited until she parked a couple of spaces over, then he got out.

  He grinned. “Hi, hope you don’t mind being seen with me. I didn’t notice the chili on my sleeve until I got here. I think Kristi grabbed me when I wasn’t looking.”

  Heather’s laughter rang warm and sincere. And sounded wonderful. Bright rays from the sun hanging low in the western sky caught Heather’s dark hair, leaving a trail of fire in the long, loose tresses.

  Matt couldn’t pull his gaze away.

  Heather stopped outside the door of the café and lifted her eyebrows. “Do I have a bug in my hair?”

  “A bug?” He gave a quick laugh. “No, I just realized you have red hair.”

  “My hair is not red.” She glared at him.

  He touched the lock over her ear. “If that isn’t red, I’m colorblind.”

  “Oh,” She laughed. “It’s the sun. My hair always has red highlights in the sun.”

  “It’s very pretty.” Matt pulled his hand away. What had he been thinking? He’d come to second Ricky’s invitation and to erase any misconceptions that he wanted a relationship with her. Telling her she was pretty wasn’t the best method.

  “Thank you.”

  Matt held the door for her to enter with a quick nod. She went in and he followed. Okay, so she hadn’t taken his compliment to heart. He’d watch his tongue from now on. Glad for a slow night at the diner, Matt walked with Heather to a booth in back.

  A girl with dishwater blond hair, barely out of her teens, took their order for coffee and returned a moment later with two steaming cups.

  A soon as the waitress left, Heather said, “I can’t be gone long. Brad isn’t the most reliable babysitter. His attention span is about the same as a two-year-old. Only a few minutes.”

  “In that case, I’ll get to the point.” Matt set his coffee to one side. “Ricky told me he invited Gary to Sunday school.”

  Heather glanced away for a moment before meeting Matt’s gaze. She nodded. “Yes, he did. I told him I’d get back with him about it.”

  In a soft voice, Matt said, “Heather, I want you to understand I’m proud of my son for inviting another kid to church, but I don’t want you to think I put him up to it, because I didn’t.”

  “Oh, no.” Her brows drew together. “I never once thought that. I wouldn’t have minded if you had, though. I’m just not sure it’s such a good idea.”

  “Why not?” Matt frowned. “I’m seconding his invitation. I’d be glad to pick Gary up Sunday morning, but I’d rather your entire family filled a pew.”

  Heather cradled her coffee mug and stared into its depths for several moments. What did she see there? What had happened in her past to make a simple invitation to church take such thought? Matt didn’t know what he could say to help. He breathed a prayer for Heather and decided to wait while she sorted things in her mind.

  When her lashes lifted, her eyes were bright with unshed tears. “I’m sorry, Matt, but this is harder than you know. Bible Community is my home church. It’s where I was married. Darrel and I attended faithfully until he developed a heart condition.”

  Her voice held no emotion although moisture glistened in her eyes. “The people prayed for him. I know they believed he would be healed. We thought he had been. The last attack hit so suddenly. One minute he was fine, the next he was gone.”

  Matt swallowed. He knew how it hurt to lose the person you loved the most.

  She smiled past the pain hovering in her eyes. “Now, you know my story. I’m not sure what to believe anymore. I trusted God, and He let me down. I don’t attend church. After Darrell’s funeral I never went back.”

  “Though God slay me, yet I’ll trust Him, I shall then come forth as gold.”

  Heather looked away, her lashes blinking. She wiped her fingers across her eyes.

  “That’s the verse my wife clung to during her sickness. She said Job never denied God in all of his troubles and his end was better than his beginning. She claimed her ending would be better than all the best of her life put together. Her faith carried her through all the hard times and helped us to accept her death.”

  Heather’s smile didn’t reach her eyes, “I’m glad your wife had such faith. My husband believed the same thing, but that doesn’t make it any easier for those of us who are left here. It doesn’t change the fact that while he’s enjoying heaven, I’m fighting every day to make ends meet and hopefully keep my son from destroying himself.”

  She took a deep breath, as moisture shimmered on her dark lashes. “You don’t know what it’s like because Becka is such a sweet girl. I scarcely have time to keep up with what Brad is doing anymore. How can I trust God when He lets this happen to His children?”

  She gathered her purse and stood. “Thank you for the invitation, but I will not be attending church. I’ll let the boys know Friday if Gary may go.”

  Before Matt could speak, she laid a dollar bill on the table then left the diner.

  ~*~*~*~

  ~Seven~

  The following evening when Matt picked the kids up from daycare, he stepped inside to get Kristi’s preschool paper. Heather’s office door stood open a crack. Her voice drifted down the hall. “Yes, I did find a sitter. I’m looking forward to it, too.”

  Matt let Kristi’s paper slide from his fingers. He shouldn’t eavesdrop, but something in Heather’s manner indicated the person on the other end of the line might be a man, and he wanted to know for sure. He bent to retrieve the paper.

  “Yes, Howard, I’m listening. Saturday evening will be great. I’m looking forward to it.” She laughed. “Oh, I’m sorry. I already said that, didn’t I?”

  Matt picked up the paper and caught up with his kids. He hoped to speak to Heather. She’d been upset the night before. Not that you could tell now. He’d sure like to know who Howard was.

  “Hey, Dad, what’s for supper?” Ricky ran backward in front of him.

  “Spaghetti. Look out, son.” A mother coming to pick up her child stepped out of Ricky’s way with a good-natured laugh.

  “Sorry.” Ricky turned around. “Guess I should walk forward.”

  “No harm done.” The woman went through the gate into the playground.

  “Maybe we should get a leash for him, Dad.” Becka raced Ricky to the Blazer where they got into an argument over who should sit in front.

  Matt grinned. Heather was right. He did have good kids. Even Ricky meant well. They weren’t particular about what they ate, either. Yep, he had a lot to be thankful for.

  On Thursday Matt stepped inside the daycare building and saw Heather in the kitchen talking on the phone. He took the school papers from Toni and ushered his kids out to the SUV. They buckled their seatbelts, and he pulled onto the street.

  “Becka, have you noticed anything unusual about Heather yesterday and today?”

  “Unusual? Like what?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Busier than usual, I guess.”

  Becka shook her head. “No, why?”

  He shrugged. “No reason. She seems to be on the phone a lot.”

  “Oh, I guess she has been a little busy. But that’s not unusual, Dad. There’s a lot to running a daycare. You wouldn’t believe all the work that has to be done.”

  Becka chattered all the way home about the various jobs and responsibilities of daycare life. Her knowledge was impressive after so short a time, but he only half listened. Surely Heather couldn’t be busy every night at the precise moment he arrived to pick up his kids. She had to be avoiding him. But why? Did she fear he might convince her to go to church if she talked to him? She’d been friendly enough before. Matt determined to renew his efforts to pray for Heather and her family.

  On Friday evening Matt checked the time and groaned. A quarter till six and he still had over an hour’s worth of work before he could stop for the night. Maybe he should conside
r hiring a helper. But the immediate problem was getting his kids taken care of. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and scrolled to the daycare’s quick dial number.

  Heather answered.

  “Hey, this is Matt. I’ve got a problem.”

  “Anything I can help with?” He liked the calm sound of her voice and the fact she hadn’t hung up on him.

  “Yeah, actually there might be. I’ve got over an hour’s worth of work to do in the next fifteen minutes. If I call it a day now, I’ll lose time and reputation. Is there anyone who could give my kids a lift home? I’ll pay for their trouble.”

  Heather laughed, “I’m here alone with your kids and mine. Why don’t I take the whole bunch to my house? If you don’t mind, I’ll get dinner started for all of us. If you don’t make it in time, we’ll save you a plate.”

  Background cheering came over the line and then Heather’s laughter. “Did you hear? I think the kids agree.”

  “Well, yeah,” he drawled. “They’ll get something decent to eat for a change. But, I can’t let you do that. Talk about imposing.”

  “It’s no imposition. I’d love to have them. My house may be small, but there’s always room for friends.”

  Had she decided to stop avoiding him? Maybe he’d only imagined it. A load lifted from his chest. Still she didn’t need to feed them. He started to protest again, but Becka’s voice cut in. “Please, Daddy, we’ll be good. Even Ricky.”

  His heart always melted when his oldest called him Daddy, and she probably knew it which was why she used that name when she wanted something. Still, she seldom asked for anything.

  His loud sigh brought a giggle from the other end of the line. He grinned. “All right. I’ll hurry.”

  “Thanks, Matt.” Heather’s voice held a smile. “I’m already looking forward to our dinner party. See you later.”

  As she turned from the phone, he heard her say, “Come on, guys, you’re all going to my house.”

  He slid his phone back into his pocket and shook his head. Only Heather would work all day in a daycare then take a bunch of kids home with her and call it a dinner party.

  ~*~

  Heather followed the kids pouring from her van to the door. Brad sat in his usual spot on the sofa in front of the blaring TV. His perpetual scowl deepened as he stared at the extra kids, but he didn’t speak.

  “Mr. Sanders had to work late, so they’re eating dinner with us tonight.” Heather figured an explanation was in order. “Did you finish your homework?”

  “Didn’t have any.”

  “No homework?”

  He shrugged. “It’s a weekend.”

  Becka spoke up beside her. “Wow, I can’t wait to get in high school. My teachers think weekends give us more time to work.”

  Heather slipped an arm around Becka’s shoulders for a quick hug. “I know you got your work done because I saw you doing it.”

  Something flashed through Brad’s eyes, as he turned away. Pointing the remote at the TV, he raised the volume and ignored them.

  The younger boys had already gone through the house to the backyard. Candace ran to the corner where her box of toys waited and pushed a miniature stroller with a doll inside to Kristi. She carefully lifted the doll out and handed it to the younger child. “Hold my baby. I go to work.”

  Kristi hesitated only a moment before the two little girls ran off to play.

  Heather turned to Becka. “Would you like to come to the kitchen with me? I haven’t decided what we’ll have. Maybe you can tell me what everyone likes.”

  After working all day, mostly on her feet, Heather usually fixed something easy and quick, but tonight she felt like doing a little extra. With Becka’s input, she decided on pork chops and mashed potatoes and quickly set to work. Becka took a knife to the potatoes and began peeling them. Someone had taught her to cook. Probably of necessity.

  Heather fried the meat. Becka started the potatoes and set some peas on to cook. Several minutes later, Heather placed her platter of pork chops on the table while Becka finished mashing the potatoes. “I think we’ve done it. Would you mind calling the boys in? I’ll get Brad and the little girls.”

  As Heather stepped into the living room, both little girls dropped their toys, ran to her, and hugged her legs. She knelt and held them close, loving the sturdiness of their little bodies and the warmth of their freely given love. Her oldest son watched with a strange look on his face.

  “Brad, dinner is ready.” She stood, as someone knocked on the front door. “Go on and sit at the table while I see who’s here.”

  The two little girls ran toward the kitchen with Brad ambling along behind them.

  As Heather expected, she found Matt on her porch. “Hi, come on in.” She stepped back. “You’re just in time to eat with us.”

  “If the kids haven’t started yet, I could take them out of your hair.” He reached for his back pants pocket.

  “Don’t you dare pull out a billfold.” Heather held the palm of her hand up to stop him. “I am not taking your money. And, you aren’t taking the kids away until they’ve eaten. Becka and I worked too hard for this food to go to waste.”

  “Oh, really?” Matt grinned, and Heather took a second look. He was so handsome. Or maybe his devotion to his children made him seem that way. Her gaze traveled from the thick black hair tumbled onto his forehead, past a finely chiseled nose, and down to his lips, before she realized they were moving.

  Her face warmed. “I’m sorry, my mind skipped a beat. What did you say?”

  He chuckled. “You must be tired. I asked if you’re sure you have room for one more.”

  “Yes, of course.” She motioned him inside. “Go through that door, and then follow the sound of children.”

  He took a step, sniffed the air, and spoke over his shoulder. “We’d better hurry. If your cooking tastes as good as it smells, there won’t be anything left.”

  Heather’s kitchen had never been so full. Neither had her heart. She headed for the empty chair at one end of the table, as the symphony of childish voices grew quiet. The full table filled her with an unsettling contentment. She didn’t want six children. She could scarcely take care of the three she had. She most certainly didn’t need a poor man in her life. Matt Sanders might be good looking and enjoyable to be around. He might be the best father she’d ever seen in action. And the man might cause her heart to beat a little faster when he smiled, but friendship was quite enough.

  She caught Matt’s attention . “Would you like to say grace before we begin?”

  In her peripheral vision, Heather recognized the look of surprise on Brad’s face. She breathed a sigh of relief when he bowed his head with the others while Matt prayed.

  His amen scarcely left his lips before the clanking of flatware against ironstone began. Gary speared a pork chop, and Brad dipped mashed potatoes on his plate before handing the bowl to Matt. Becka lifted the platter of biscuits, took one and passed it to Gary.

  In the general noise and confusion of eight people trying to each load his plate before everything disappeared, Heather helped Candace while Matt helped Kristi. As she listened to the children’s voices, Heather let her gaze move over each child. Becka shifted Candace’s water glass to a safer spot before dipping into the mashed potatoes. Brad seemed to be enjoying an argument with Ricky and Gary over who should get the largest piece of pork. Matt’s gaze met hers, and he grinned.

  He spoke above the boys’ voices. “This is delicious. The meat is tender. The potatoes are great. I don’t know how you managed all this after working all day.”

  The flush of pleasure stained Heather’s cheeks as she laughed. “It was easy because I had expert help.”

  “I peeled and mashed the potatoes, Dad.” Becka’s eyes sparkled.

  Brad stopped his debate with the younger boys to listen. He grinned at Becka, “Now I know why the potatoes are so lumpy. I thought Mom had a bad day.”

  The light dimmed in Becka’s eyes for a moment
, until Brad scooped another fork of mashed potatoes and stuffed them in his mouth. She smiled. “Ha, you wouldn’t even notice a lump if it sat up and waved at you. Look how you’ve been scarfing my potatoes down.”

  Brad laughed with everyone else. “That don’t mean nothing. I’ll eat anything. If you don’t believe me, ask Mom.”

  When everyone looked at her, she nodded. “He’s right. Except these potatoes aren’t lumpy. They’re delicious.”

  “Hey, Mom, do we get ice cream for dessert?” Gary asked.

  Before she could answer, all the younger kids added their approval to his idea. Even Becka looked hopeful. But Heather shook her head. “I’m sorry guys. I don’t have ice cream.”

  “No problem.” Matt’s words silenced Gary and Ricky’s protests. “I’ve been wondering how I could pay Mrs. Conway back for this delicious meal. How about we all go out for ice cream—my treat?”

  Heather started to protest, but no one heard her for the cheer that rose from the table. Only Brad sat quietly. Gary and Ricky shoved their chairs back and ran from the room, obviously eager to go. Candace and Kristi squirmed to get down and follow their older brothers.

  Becka stood and started clearing the table. “Shouldn’t we wash the dishes first?”

  Heather put her hand on the girl’s arm to stop her. “No, leave them. When we get back, I’ll put them in the dishwasher.”

  “I don’t think so.” Matt stood and picked up his plate. “You’ve probably been on your feet all day. You don’t need to work all night, too, just because I couldn’t pick my kids up on time.” He grinned at Heather, and she couldn’t stop the flutter of her heart. “Tell you what, Becka and I will let you help us since we don’t know how you do things. With the three of us, or four if we can talk Brad into helping, we’ll have this done in no time.”

  Brad stood. “I’ve got other things to do.”

  He started around the table to leave, and Heather stopped him. “Brad, aren’t you going with us for ice cream?”

  His usual scowl settled back into place as he shook his head. “Mom, I already said I got other things to do. You go ahead and take the little kids.”