Atancia

by Figueiro, Wren

  “You and I, we’re not human, Atty. We’re Durand. We don’t need to eat to survive. We can transfer energy from any living thing. We can rejuvenate our cells with it; we can fight disease with it; we can live as long as energy exists.”

  I don’t know how I didn’t turn and run right then. Logic told me that he must be crazy, but then I thought of my mother’s note. “You’re special, Atancia.” Is this what she had meant?

  I stood there, staring at him. I didn’t know what to say or to ask.

  “I can prove it.”

  “How?”

  “I said I couldn’t kiss you before you knew. It’s not because I didn’t want to. It’s because I knew you’d certainly feel the energy flow, and I thought it would frighten you, not to mention possibly drain me. I don’t know where you come from, Atty; I don’t know how powerful you might be or how strong your control is.”

  I scoffed. “Drain you? What are you talking about?”

  “When Durand kiss, it’s not like humans, power is involved. If two people love each other, they regulate themselves, they don’t take more than they give. But if it’s a touch from a person looking for strength without love, the greedy one can drain the other. Usually we have a guard up against someone taking our energy, but at times that are intimate, that guard can be penetrated. The more intimate the action, the easier it is to get through. That’s why I could hold your hand without much trouble, but I couldn’t kiss you without you being aware. I’m willing to try though, Atty. To prove it to you. Will you let me?”

  I thought for a second before nodding slightly. What the heck? Even if he was crazy, at least I could say I gave him a shot. Then I would play along until we got back and not talk to him anymore. As crazy as it all sounded, I hoped he wasn’t lying. I didn’t want to give him up.

  He stepped toward me slowly, his footing uneven on the sand. He brought his hand to my cheek, and I could already feel it, the flow from him into me. He bent down and let his lips just brush mine. My eyes had been closed, but I opened them in surprise. It wasn’t harsh like electrical sparks; it was a soft wave of energy, as smooth as the water that ebbed on the sand nearby. He pressed harder, and the sensation got stronger. I could feel it pulsing. One moment, I pulled from him, feeling myself getting stronger, but I worried I was taking too much so I stopped. How did I stop? I had no idea, but I could feel some control over the flow. The next moment, I could feel him pulling back, and I felt weaker until the power balanced out and the energy flowing between us became even. I closed my eyes again and settled into it.

  He kissed me a few moments longer before backing away, never taking his eyes off mine.

  “Wow,” I whispered.

  He smiled. “You felt it, right?”

  I sighed. “Can you doubt it?”

  He smiled softly and shook his head.

  “So I believe you about the kissing. Can you please explain everything else? I’m afraid I couldn’t really follow before.”

  He took off his jacket and laid it on the sand, motioning that I should sit. I figured this was going to take a while.

  “What do you know about your parents, Atty?” Ben asked.

  “Not much really. Just my mother’s name, Vivian Clark.”

  “And your father? Do you know his name?”

  “Nope. It’s not even on my birth certificate. My mother left it with Nana.”

  “I’m going to guess that the name your mother gave isn’t her real one. If she left you, it was probably because she didn’t want anyone to find you,” he said, mostly to himself.

  “That’s what I figured too, but why do you need to know this? What does it have to do with what you are?”

  “I was just curious. I can’t imagine any of us leaving his child to be raised by a human.”

  I gave him a look that he read appropriately as “explain.”

  “Like I said before, I am part of a society of beings who transfer energy directly. We call ourselves the Durand. We have no need to eat, though we still like to on occasion. We don’t get sick because we can transfer energy to satisfy the need of any microbes that come in contact with our systems. We don’t age unless we don’t get energy for some reason. We’ve been around for a very long time, living among humans and pretending that we are like them.”

  “Are you aliens? Do you know?” I asked, feeling a bit ridiculous.

  He just smiled slightly. “Actually, we have no idea. There are several theories. One is that we could be aliens. Another is that we are some form of demigod, a combination of mortal and immortal. It’s also possible that we’re just another step in evolution. Our people have been on earth so long that we no longer know the story of our origins, just like humans, I suppose. My father is the oldest of us that we know, but even he can’t tell us where we came from. Something happened in his childhood that wiped out a great many of us, only he and a few others survived.”

  “But he is your biological father, right? You reproduce?” I asked. Then realizing what I had said, I was glad for the darkness so he could not see me blush. Why had that been the first thing that came to mind?

  He let out a small laugh. “Yes, he’s my biological father.”

  “Sorry, the whole vampire analogy, you know how they make new ones out of people. Plus whenever I’ve heard stories of immortal beings, they usually can’t reproduce because they already live forever.”

  “Ah, but that’s not really right, is it? The Greek and Roman gods had children. And actually even the Christian God does: humans.”

  “I guess so. Anyway, back to your explanation. So, you can’t die?” I dragged the last sentence out slowly, watching him as I did.

  “Actually, we can. It’s just not as easy to kill us as it is to kill a human. That’s why my father worries about me and my siblings. That’s why he was worried about you being some sort of bait. He’s lost people before, usually to another of our kind. He doesn’t trust just anyone to be with his children.”

  I figured he was referring to what he’d mentioned before, about them being drained. I guessed that someone could take all their energy. I didn’t want to dwell on death though, so I decided to ask something else.

  “You said something about knowing all the families. Are there a lot?”

  “Not really, just the descendants of those who survived back when my father was young. We mostly know each other. A lot of us are related in some way.”

  “Doesn’t that cause problems? In the gene pool, I mean?”

  “Well, we don’t really reproduce that often. Humans have to renew every generation, 20 years or so, but we live a long time so there’s no hurry. Actually, we’re not even capable of having children until we’re past 100 and then it’s not like humans who have the possibility often. Many years pass between children.”

  “So you mean, if you’re right and I’m like you, I can’t get pregnant right now?” This was a bit of an embarrassing question, but I was really curious because I had never gotten my period. It was something I had asked doctors in the past, but they couldn’t give me an answer. They had just said I needed to wait, that nothing seemed wrong with me and I was probably just a late bloomer, but it could happen at any time.

  “Nope, unless you’re somehow deceiving me and are older than I think you are,” he replied.

  “I’m 19,” I insisted.

  “I know, I believe you.”

  “So how does this work? You said it was related to the panic attacks I’d had. What did you mean?”

  “Well, when we’re born we’re just like humans. We eat just like they do. As we get older and get close to maturity, that’s when we start transferring energy. Food to us is like breast milk to a human child; we eat it to sustain us until we’re capable of mature transfer.”

  “And when is that?” I asked.

  “Usually when we’re close to 20, give or take a few years. Most of us know since we’re young that it’s going to happen though. When we start feeling the flow of things, the energy coming from
all life around us, we are already aware that it’s going to happen. I’m guessing that your panic attacks are a result of you not knowing what’s going on with your system. I’m sure the feeling of transfer scared you, and you didn’t know how to process it all. You probably thought there was something wrong with you.”

  I nodded, a bit embarrassed, but also doubtful that his explanation was the reason for my odd behavior lately. The uncertainty must have shown in my expression.

  “Don’t doubt that you’re like me, Atty; I can feel you quite clearly. Humans have a very different feel. You’ll soon be able to tell the difference. Every living thing around you has energy and the feeling of each is distinct.”

  “But if what I’m feeling is all energy, shouldn’t it all feel the same?”

  “The value of all energy around you is the same, yes. The energy from the crabs hiding under the sand here is just as efficient as the energy from the larger animals offshore, there’s just less of it because the crabs are so small. But for some reason, the feel of each thing is different, like a taste. Soon you’ll figure out your preferences, which you like best. I can’t explain how, I just know that I can tell the differences. Why don’t you try feeling it?”

  I just stared at him as if he’d asked me to pull a rabbit out of a hat.

  “I’m sure you can do it. Close your eyes and try to feel what’s around you.”

  I looked at him skeptically but complied. I closed my eyes and tried to relax. At first I just heard the crash of the ocean nearby, but I tried to feel instead of listen. I could definitely feel Ben. I didn’t know if that was just because I knew he was there, but it was as if he was humming, or vibrating. I tried harder, and I could definitely feel him, he had a lot of energy. I then tried to focus on other things, smaller ones. He had said there were crabs, and I decided that must be the small balls of energy I felt below the sand nearby. I stretched my focus a bit, and I could feel little shooting bits of energy in the water, probably fish. I opened my eyes.

  “I feel it! The crabs, and there’s a bunch of small creatures in the water. I can feel it when they dart around.”

  “Yes! I knew you could do it. So tell me, are any of the things you’re feeling more appealing than the others? You won’t really taste them unless you touch them to transfer their energy, but you can still tell if you like them from far away, sort of like a smell I guess. Can you tell which you’d like most?”

  At that question I must have turned full red. The thing that felt most appealing to me was him. I didn’t answer his question, but I knew he could tell I was thinking it because he started to laugh.

  “I’ve wanted to be your favorite since I met you,” he said with a wicked grin.

  I covered my face with my hands and laughed. “Sorry, I can’t believe I couldn’t just pretend it was the fish.”

  “Don’t be embarrassed. You’re the most appealing thing here to me, too.”

  “Wait, we don’t transfer from each other as a meal, do we? You guys aren’t like cannibals, right?” I asked in an apprehensive tone.

  “No. You find me appealing in the same way that humans say they like the way someone tastes when they kiss. It’s based on attraction, not hunger.”

  “I hope so,” I whispered. I didn’t like the idea of someone sucking out all my energy.

  “Come here,” he directed. I leaned closer to him. He put his hand on the side of my face and traced his fingers softly over my ear before pulling me to him for a kiss. He tasted incredible. His lips were sweet and the energy flowing from him was even sweeter. I ran my hands through his hair and enjoyed the whole feel of him. I wondered if perhaps I was dreaming, all the information he’d just given me had left me feeling as if I’d been transported to some surreal place, and his kissing wasn’t helping me get back to reality.

  We kissed for a few more moments, but then I sat back in alarm. I could feel a large amount of energy approaching.

  “Don’t worry, it’s just a couple taking advantage of the dark beach. You feel them getting closer, right? That’s why you pulled away?”

  I nodded.

  “Come on. I should probably get you home anyway; it’s pretty late.” He stood and reached for my hand to help me up before grabbing his jacket and leading me back toward the car. I could feel him pulsing through our clasped hands more strongly. I wondered if it was because we had been kissing just a few moments earlier, if that had lowered our guards.

  I was quiet for a while after getting in the car. I was trying to process everything he had told me.

  “I’m sorry, Atty. I hope all of this isn’t upsetting you too much. I’d been worried about telling you. I didn’t know how you’d react. I’ve never had to explain it to anyone before.”

  “I’m a little overwhelmed, but hopefully it will all seem clearer in the morning. We’re hanging out again tomorrow, right?” I asked.

  “That was the plan. I came here to be with you, Atty, as long as you still want me to. If you’re not too upset by all this and still want to see me, then see me you will.”

  “I do. I want to see you.”

  “Then don’t worry. We’ll spend the day together, and you can ask me all the questions you haven’t had a chance to come up with yet. I might not know all the answers, but I’ll try my best.”

  I smiled and turned to stare out the window. He was right. I probably would have a lot of questions in the morning. At least I would, if when I woke up this was all still real. I couldn’t help feeling like I was stuck in a dream.

  Chapter 13

  The next morning I lay in bed just feeling. Since Ben had pointed out how everything around me had energy, I couldn’t help noticing it. I could feel Nana downstairs in the kitchen, or at least that’s where I felt the largest bundle of energy, so I figured it had to be her. I could feel the birds outside my window and some of the insects. What felt really different was the tree they were on. I had never thought of plants as anything but stagnant, but I could definitely feel the life there. I wondered if that was how I had found the tree with my mother’s box. The middle was hollow, lifeless. It must have somehow felt different. I also wondered why I hadn’t mentioned it to Ben. It’s not as if he would have thought I was crazy. It must have been the surreal feeling of everything last night. I just couldn’t focus.

  After a while of lying around, I realized I’d been lost in the new sensations, but I had to get ready if I was going to be on time to meet Ben. I got up, took a shower, got dressed and went downstairs. Nana had already finished her breakfast and had gone outside to work in her garden. I grabbed a granola bar and walked out into the yard.

  “Good morning, Atancia. How did the date go last night?” Nana asked.

  How did I answer that? “Great! Dinner was excellent and the view was spectacular.” I figured that was all I could really tell her.

  “Sounds like you had a nice time,” she said, smiling. She finished pruning one of the bushes and slowly got up. “You going out again today?”

  “Yes, I’m going to pick Ben up in a little while. We’ll probably go someplace touristy.”

  “Have fun. I’m going to clean up the front yard a bit and then go visit Juliana, so I might not be here when you get back.”

  “Don’t worry Nana; I’ll be fine on my own. I’ll see you later, I have to get going.”

  She followed me through the house, and I left her trimming some plants in the front yard. I couldn’t believe how much energy the woman had at her age. Working outside in Florida was a tiring endeavor, between the heat and humidity I rarely lasted more than 20 minutes. I guess that could change if I wanted it to. That thought helped me come up with my first question for Ben.

  “By taking something’s energy I drain it, right? Would it die?” We were walking by the zebras at the zoo. Their enclosure was far from the entrance so the area was pretty deserted.

  “If you take all its energy, yes.”

  “But I don’t have to take it all?” I asked, wanting more detail.


  “No, you don’t have to take it all, especially if it’s a large thing. For instance, you could get a small boost from a horse, and it would just get really tired. If it’s something small though, like the crabs last night, it’s unlikely that they’d survive. You’d probably take all of their energy in one pulse, and it would barely affect you. It would be like taking one gulp of water when you’re thirsty,” he explained.

  I thought about that and didn’t like the idea at all. It must have shown on my face because he continued without me prompting.

  “You realize you do that already, right, Atty? The meat you eat, the vegetables, they all were alive once. But you consume them for energy, albeit in a more primitive way. Your body absorbs what it can through digestion.”

  “I know, but usually I’m not the one directly taking their life. They’re at the grocery store, and it would be a waste to not consume them. It’s weird to think that I would take something’s life while looking straight at it.”

  “It takes some getting used to, but you will do fine.”

  I nodded, not wanting to think about that too much, and skipped to my next question. “Your brothers and sister, you said none of you are full siblings. When you said it before, I figured your parents just remarried a lot, but I take it things are different when you live so long?”

  “Yes, there is a big age difference between all of us.”

  “You’re one of the youngest?”

  “Yes, but that doesn’t make me young,” he said and flashed an amused smile. I laughed and he continued, “Things are definitely different when you live so long. Like I told you before, Durand can’t even have children until we’re more than 100, and after that it can take more than 50 years for a woman to have a chance for a second child. By then, people have separated and moved on to someone else.”

  “So no one stays together forever?” I asked, a bit depressed by the idea.

  “There are a few. I know a couple who have been together for more than 1,000 years. But they are the exception. We don’t really abide by human notions of marriage. After a while, people want a change; they separate for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes they no longer get along, but sometimes they just want to grow. Not physically obviously, just intellectually or spiritually and that requires change.”