Atancia

by Figueiro, Wren

  “I can see how that could be. But it’s not very romantic.” I said with a dry laugh.

  “Well, fairy tales are a human creation, limited by a forever that is not infinite. But don’t let that cause you to think that we can’t be romantic.” He turned and gave me a quick wink just as we approached the gazelles.

  “Wow, their energy feels so intense,” I commented.

  “Yes, quick animals like these, you can almost feel how alert they are.”

  “I would have thought that the more massive an animal, the more intense its energy, but it doesn’t seem to be like that.”

  “No. The large animals have a lot of energy, but you can feel these more strongly, it’s more focused.”

  We kept walking, and I noted how the energy of different animals felt. Ben strolled next to me, watching me take it all in. When we were almost at the Amazon exhibit, something occurred to me.

  “You didn’t have to kiss me to prove it to me, did you?” I asked. He flashed me a mischievous smile.

  “No, but I really wanted to. Figured that was as good a way as any to make my point.”

  “Well, aren’t you slick.” At that, he laughed and so did I.

  The Amazon exhibit had tables in the shade, so we bought some chicken strips with fries and sat down to eat. In front of us was a splash pad where little kids were running through the intermittent spray of water.

  “So you don’t really have to eat this,” I commented after finishing a chicken strip.

  “Nope, and neither will you. It still tastes good though, so I eat it sometimes when I’m feeling nostalgic for my childhood,” he replied, smiling.

  “It won’t make you sick or anything?”

  “Nope, it’s not greasy enough for heartburn,” he joked.

  “You know what I mean. Eating it doesn’t cause any adverse effects?”

  “Not at all. We process food the same as anybody else.” He didn’t say like humans since there were several in the vicinity, and I probably shouldn’t have asked right there, but I tried to keep it subtle.

  As we were finishing up, my phone rang. “Atty? Is that you?” an anxious voice asked before continuing. “It’s Juliana. You need to come quickly.”

  “What’s wrong, Juliana?” I asked, my stomach suddenly tightening. I didn’t like the tone of her voice. I walked away from the children screaming near the splash pad, and Ben made a gesture to ask if he should follow or give me space. I put my palm up to let him know he should stay where he was.

  “It’s Natalia. She’s collapsed! I called 911, and now we’re in the ER.”

  “What! What happened, Juliana?”

  “She was supposed to come over this morning, but she hadn’t shown up, so I walked over to your house. When I got there I saw Mr. Ortiz looking frantic. I ran over to see, and Natalia had collapsed in the front yard. I’m in the hospital lobby right now waiting to hear what’s happened, but I’m not family, Atty, they won’t tell me anything.”

  My heart was beating like mad. Ben must have seen my expression because he started to walk toward me. He got there just as Juliana was telling me the name of the hospital. I said we were on our way and hung up.

  “We have to go, right now. Nana’s collapsed. She’s at the hospital on Kendall Drive.” He nodded and grabbed my hand as we ran toward the exit.

  I gave Ben directions and let him drive. I didn’t think it would be safe for me to do it in such a nervous state. I couldn’t keep still in the car. When Ben got to the emergency parking area at the hospital, I practically bolted out of the car. I don’t think he’d even had a chance to put the car in park. I ran toward the entrance without looking back. Ben was right there behind me when I got to the reception counter. I felt him put his hand on my waist as I rambled to the attendant. It took me a few minutes to manage a clear sentence.

  “My grandmother was just brought in,” I finally managed to explain. My heart was racing, and I was bouncing anxiously on the balls of my feet. My hands were in tight fists on the counter. “I need to find her. Natalia Ortega.”

  I watched impatiently as the attendant typed something on her computer and then looked up. Her expression didn’t give anything away. She just smiled calmly and said, “Yes, your grandmother arrived about half an hour ago. The doctors are examining her now. I can’t let you in until they tell me it’s all right. If you could just take a seat, we’ll call you as soon as there is any more information.”

  I stared at her, not understanding what to do. Did she really want me to sit down while I waited to find out if my Nana was OK? That couldn’t be right. I saw her shift her gaze to my side and remembered Ben was there. She must have been hoping he’d help her out.

  “Come on, Atty, let’s go sit for a second,” he said, guiding me toward a chair at the back of the waiting area.

  I think he tried to talk to me while we sat, but I have no idea what he said. I couldn’t focus on anything but the idea that Nana collapsed in the front yard. I sat staring at the reception area, my toes on the floor, but my legs shaking up and down and my fingers tapping on my knees. After a few minutes, Ben didn’t talk anymore; he just put his hand over mine, and the tapping stopped as I wrapped my fingers around his.

  It seemed like hours before I heard my name being called. A man in a white coat was standing by the closed double doors that led to the ER looking around the waiting room as he said my name. Ben must have heard him first because he had already stood up and pulled at my hand so I would follow.

  We walked over to the man, and he repeated, “Atancia Clark?” I just nodded. “I’m Dr. Bowen, I understand you are Natalia Ortega’s granddaughter. Is any more of your family here?”

  “Just me. I’m her cousin,” Ben replied before I could say anything. I gave him a confused look. What was he talking about? He just nodded toward the doctor, so I turned my attention back to him.

  “So you’re both Ms. Ortega’s grandchildren?” I saw Ben nod in the corner of my vision, but I just stood staring at the doctor.

  “Your grandmother is in the ICU. We had to intubate her as she was not able to breathe effectively when she arrived. I don’t know how long it will be until you can see her, but you can go to the ICU waiting room. Someone will get you once she is stable.”

  “What happened to her, doctor?” Ben asked. I was glad he asked because I wasn’t capable of forming coherent sentences.

  Ben squeezed my hand as the doctor launched into his explanation. “We’re not certain what’s wrong yet. We only know that it wasn’t a heart attack. It’s possible she had a seizure. We haven’t been able to get her to regain consciousness, and no one saw her collapse. We’re going to run more tests to see if we can figure out what happened, but we need to be certain she’s stable first.”

  The doctor gave us directions to the ICU, and we hurried to the elevators so we could get to the correct floor. As we walked, Ben explained why he had lied about being my cousin. He knew they wouldn’t have let him in if he wasn’t family, and he didn’t want me to be alone. I was very grateful for the lie.

  Upstairs we found a small, quiet waiting room around the corner from the doors that led into the ICU. There were maybe 10 chairs lined against the wall, some coffee tables in the center and a small television in the right corner. We sat down and waited. It was very cold. It popped in my head that the cold must keep germs from circulating; otherwise they wouldn’t try to freeze everyone to death in there.

  About an hour later, a nurse came to the room and told us we could see Nana. We followed her through the double doors that led to the rooms. The hall was very white but decorated with paper flowers and other spring-related drawings. I figured they needed a lot of cheery color in there.

  The nurse stopped in front of an open door and said Nana was inside. We walked in, and I felt tears fill my eyes as I saw her. She was so still. She was on the bed, covered in blankets with wires leading from her hands to the machines beeping behind her. She had an IV in her right hand, and all I could th
ink was how much more wrinkled it looked than I remembered. I had never thought of her as old, but looking at her then, she seemed tired and fragile. There was a clear tube coming out of her mouth, and a machine behind her made a rhythmic pumping sound as it forced air into her lungs. The machine played musical beeps to indicate its status. They made an eerie song. I sank onto the chair next to Nana and took her hand. It felt cold.

  “She looks older than I realized,” I eventually mumbled. Ben just looked at me and nodded.

  “You’ve been through this sort of thing before, haven’t you?” Again he nodded. “I guess you’ve lost a lot of friends.”

  “I have,” he replied. “But don’t jump straight to losing her, Atty. She seems like a strong woman, she might be OK.”

  I leaned my elbows on my knees and dropped my head into my palms as I started to cry. Ben rubbed my back silently until I calmed down. I knew that even if he was right to call her strong, eventually she would die, and I’d be left alone. Alone for a very long time.

  When Ben stopped rubbing my back, he pulled my hair behind my ear then whispered, “Atty. Atty, come on. You need to be strong for her. I know you can do it. Try not to cry in front of her. She needs to feel that you believe in her.”

  I put my hands down and took a deep breath. He was right. I needed to be strong. Nana would know things were wrong if she felt me crying, I don’t cry. I stood up and wiped my face. “It’s a good thing she’s not awake to see me like this. I’ll wash up later.” Ben gave me a quick smile.

  The nurse walked in then. “The doctors are still running tests. We will just have to wait and hope that she wakes up soon. In the meantime, we will be monitoring her vital signs. If there’s an emergency, we’ll need you to vacate the room, but for now you can stay here. Since she’s stable she can have visitors, but only two people are allowed at a time; if you have friends or family waiting outside, you’ll need to switch with them.”

  “OK, thank you,” I said, and the nurse nodded and left the room. It occurred to me that Juliana and Mr. Ortiz were probably still worried. I should let them know what was going on. I needed to call Dolores too; she would never forgive me if I didn’t tell her Nana was in the hospital.

  “Ben, could you do me a favor?”

  “Anything.”

  I smiled. He barely knew me a few months, and he gave that unrestricted answer without thinking twice.

  “I need to let Mr. Ortiz and Juliana know what’s going on. Nana’s best friend Dolores, too. Would you mind calling them for me? I don’t want to leave her just yet to use the phone, and I can’t do it in here.”

  “Of course. Just give me their numbers, and I’ll go out in the hall to call them.”

  I handed him my phone, and he went to make the calls. I leaned my head on Nana’s bed and held her hand. Now that I was alone and quiet, I could feel her. I must have been too distracted before to feel her energy. It was low. She didn’t feel as strong as she had when I felt her in the kitchen that morning. How could she have lost so much energy so quickly? Could a stroke do that? I’d have to ask Ben the next time we were alone.

  He came back about 15 minutes later. The doctor was with me, explaining that the scans didn’t seem to show brain damage, but they couldn’t be certain yet. I didn’t understand how it was possible for doctors not to know what was wrong, but I guess they really didn’t know everything. He left and Ben took my hand again while standing next to the bed.

  “It’s almost seven, Atty. Why don’t you come down to the cafeteria with me and have something to eat? You feel drained.”

  I found it interesting that he said you “feel” drained. Anyone else would have said that I “looked” drained. This was going to take some getting used to.

  “I don’t know, Ben, what if she wakes up?”

  “If she wakes up, the nurses will call you right away. But you can’t let yourself get weak, Atty, it could be dangerous.”

  “Don’t worry, Ben, I’m not going to pass out or anything.”

  “I didn’t mean dangerous to yourself. Just please, come eat something.”

  I consented, confused but curious, and we walked out of the ICU and toward the elevators. The cafeteria was on the first floor. Though the elevator was empty, I still whispered, because there could be cameras. “What did you mean by dangerous, Ben?”

  “I can’t explain much here. Just know that if you get too low on energy, your body will shift to instinct. You could hurt someone unintentionally.”

  “Oh,” was all I could say. I hadn’t thought of that. Could I drain something by accident? A person? I flashed to the boy who died on the tennis court. Had I touched him? Maybe I had. Maybe I had drained the last bit of his energy. Guilt filled me even though I didn’t know whether his death had been my fault. I probably shouldn’t think about that right then, though, it wasn’t going to help anything.

  I had followed Ben to humor him. I had no intention of eating. But I decided I should eat even if I wasn’t hungry. It’s not as if I could find a life form other than humans in a hospital, except maybe germs, but I didn’t know if it was possible to extract energy solely from germs and not the hosts they were living in. Wouldn’t that be something? My mind was going on all sorts of tangents. It must have been the shock.

  As we left the elevator, I saw Dolores running toward us. “Atty! Oh, Atty, are you OK? Where is Natalia?”

  “I’m OK, Dolores, I just came down because Ben insisted I eat something. Nana’s upstairs in ICU. Actually, I’ll feel better if you go sit with her while I eat. I don’t want her to be alone if she wakes up.”

  “Of course, Atty, I’ll go straight up. But your friend here is right; you look tired. You need to take care of yourself and stay strong for Natalia.”

  It occurred to me then that she had never met Ben, and I was talking about him like she knew him. How rude of me. “I’m sorry, Dolores, I haven’t introduced you. This is my friend Ben; he’s here visiting from out of town. Ben, this is Nana’s friend, Dolores Villareal.” Ben smiled at her and shook her hand.

  “Good to meet you, we spoke on the phone earlier.”

  “Good to meet you, too. Thank you for taking care of Atancia, Ben. I would have felt horrible if she had to come here by herself.”

  “No worries. I’m going to take her to the cafeteria. We’ll see you upstairs in a bit.”

  She agreed and ran toward the elevators, bouncing anxiously as she waited for one of them to arrive. We waved and walked in the direction of the cafeteria.

  Nothing in the cafeteria looked appealing. I just didn’t have much of an appetite when I was anxious, and this was the most anxious I’d ever been. I was worried about what Ben had said, though, so I settled on a banana and a cup of hot tea. It didn’t help much. Ben looked at me with concern for a moment then he leaned across the table and kissed me. It took me by surprise. I hadn’t had a romantic thought since I heard about Nana. Within seconds I could feel myself pulling energy from him, but before we got to the point where I let him pull back, he broke the kiss. I looked at him and mouthed a quiet “thanks.”

  “Are you going to stay the night?” Ben asked after a second of just smiling at me.

  “I hadn’t even thought about that. I just assumed I’d stay until she’s better. It hadn’t occurred to me to go home.”

  “Do you want me to get you anything? Clothes?”

  “Thank you so much for offering, but don’t worry. I’ll see how it goes tonight and maybe head home for a sec in the morning if I have to. Although a toothbrush might be good,” I said, slightly embarrassed to be bringing that up. I preferred if he thought my teeth were always spotless like magic, but I knew that was ridiculous.

  “I’ll get you one; they might sell them at the gift shop. I’ll check. If not, I’ll find one.”

  “Thanks.” Something else occurred to me. “Oh wow, Ben. I’m sorry. You came all this way to visit, and now you’re stuck in a hospital getting me hygiene essentials.”

  He gave
a quick laugh. “No worries, Atty. I came to be with you and that’s what I’m doing. Who cares where I am as long as I get to be with you.”

  I stared at him and felt my cheeks turning scarlet. “You are so sweet to me. Thank you so much. I know it’s probably selfish, but I’m really glad you’re here with me right now.”

  He reached across the table and brushed my cheek with his fingertips. I looked down for a second, embarrassed, then forced myself to look back up at him. His beautiful eyes were full of concern for me. I felt so lucky to have found him.

  Chapter 14

  Days passed, but Nana’s condition didn’t change. She never got worse but she didn’t get better either. She never even fidgeted when we talked to her or showed any signs of waking. I had become accustomed to the constant noise of the pump helping her breathe, its eerie song beeping in the background. I was getting used to the constant hum of energy all around me too. I couldn’t distinguish anyone yet unless I truly focused, but I just didn’t have the inclination for it.

  Dolores kept a constant vigil with me. We’d trade back and forth every few hours so that Nana would never be alone. I felt bad that this was keeping her from her family, but when I mentioned it she simply said that Nana was family too.

  On Thursday, Christy called to see if she and Ana could stop by the hospital. They had texted me to go out the night before, and I had to explain what had happened to Nana. I told Christy thank you, but not to worry. Nana wasn’t allowed many visitors, and I didn’t like leaving her to go chat in the hall unnecessarily like I had to do when Nana’s friends came by. I’d told Lizzie the same thing when she said she wanted to drive down. Christy told me she understood and to call if I changed my mind. I was again glad that I had been grouped with such nice girls.

  After a week of barely eating, I had taken to avoiding kissing Ben because I didn’t want to keep leeching off him. He was getting a bit pouty, and I wasn’t sure if he was mad that I wouldn’t take the energy or that I wouldn’t kiss him. He convinced me to leave the hospital for a little while and go to the park with him. “You’re too drained, Atty. We should see if you can transfer a bit of energy directly. It will keep you more stable.” I was scared that I could hurt someone at the hospital, or worse, drain Nana of the remaining energy she had, so I decided he was right, and I should try transferring.