Atancia

by Figueiro, Wren

He backed out of the space and maneuvered his way out of the parking lot. “Where do you want to go, Atty?”

  “Home.”

  I spent the afternoon in a haze. I remember seeing Ben walk in and out of the house making phone calls, but I just sat on the couch the entire time. I didn’t even turn on the TV; I couldn’t focus on anything other than a piece of the wall in front of me.

  “Atty.” I was still sitting on the couch, but I registered Ben’s presence next to me. “Atty, you have to focus. If you don’t, you aren’t going to be able to help Nana.” He got off the couch and squatted in front of me, rubbing my hands as they lay uselessly on my lap.

  “Atty, seriously, are you all right? Look at me.” He moved one hand up to my cheek and slowly turned my face so that I could see into his eyes. They were so different than anyone else’s. I’d never seen a human with that mint green color. He tapped my cheek lightly. I blinked.

  “Ben,” I said with what sounded like surprise in my voice. “How long have you been here?”

  “As long as you have, Atty. I brought you here, remember?”

  “No, I know that. I mean how long have you been sitting next to me?”

  “That, I’m not sure about. It’s been a while.”

  “Oh. OK. Thank you.”

  “No need.”

  I stared at him a few seconds longer before he continued. “Atty, what do you want to do? We don’t have much time. We need to figure this out.”

  “Yes…” I trailed off for a moment but then everything got clear. I sat up straighter and said, “Yes. You’re right. We need to figure this out. I need to try again. Do you think it would be safe to go back to the ranch?”

  “No, probably not. I’m sure they’re wondering what spooked their cows yesterday and are watching tonight.”

  “Of course. You’re right. I know another place we can find some; we just have to go a little farther north.”

  “OK, why don’t you eat something? Then we’ll head up.”

  “I’m not hungry. And if this goes well, I won’t need dinner.”

  He nodded and stood up, offering his hand to help me. I rose and followed him out to the car.

  The other ranch I knew of was more than an hour and a half away, and by the time we got there it was fully dark. There were lights on in the house nearby, though, and I knew it was too early to try anything yet. Ben drove around to see where the best spot would be to cross the fence. We didn’t want to attract attention, so he trailed back and stopped at a park. We just sat in the car.

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do if this doesn’t work, Ben. Without Nana, I’ll be completely alone.”

  “You won’t be alone, you’ll be with me.”

  I leaned in to kiss him then, I couldn’t imagine what I would have done if it weren’t for him. If he weren’t there, I would have had to handle Nana’s illness all by myself. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have such an amazing person by my side.

  He kissed me back softly, running his hands through my hair. It didn’t last long, but it was enough to calm me. I needed to stay calm if I was going to do this. He leaned his forehead against mine and said, “You know I love you, right, Atty?”

  My eyes filled with tears, and I didn’t want to blink for fear they would spill out. “I love you too, Ben. I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

  He caressed my cheek and gave me another light kiss before sitting back in his seat.

  “OK, Atty. You need to focus now. Breathe deeply, control your emotions and think only of transferring. I know you can do it, Atty. Let me know when you’re ready to go.”

  I sat back in my seat and closed my eyes. He was right; I had to control my emotions if I was going to do this. I concentrated on breathing in and out, picturing the oxygen flowing in and out of my lungs. I avoided thinking of anything that involved Nana, hoping not to get upset again. The only thing going through my head was the oxygen sharpening my thoughts and easing the tension that had been running through my entire body.

  It took about 15 minutes before I felt ready. I nodded to Ben, and he drove back toward the ranch. We parked close to some bushes and walked toward the fence. Getting in wasn’t difficult, but we had to stay low to make sure we wouldn’t spook the cows or alert any people that may have been around.

  The cows were sleeping calmly in the field. Like before, I focused on one on the edge of the herd and approached it quietly. I sat down about five feet away from it and again concentrated on my breathing. Sneaking over there had gotten my heart thumping too quickly. Once I felt as calm as I was going to get, I crawled over to the cow. Slowly I placed my hand on its side, closed my eyes and reached for its life force. I made sure not to draw too quickly; I needed to be as subtle as I could. The pleasure of it did not overwhelm me this time; I knew what I was doing and stopped a long way before draining it. Not moving my hand, I opened my eyes and looked at Ben. He just nodded in encouragement. I could do this.

  I closed my eyes again and began letting the energy flow out and back into the cow. It was difficult keeping the transfer smooth. This would never have worked had the cow been awake, I would have spooked it with the occasional spikes I sent out. I somehow managed to return most of the energy I had taken, then took my hand away.

  Upon opening my eyes again, I saw Ben smiling at me. I couldn’t help smiling back.

  “You did it, Atty!” he whispered excitedly. If it weren’t for fear of spooking the cow, I would have jumped up shouting “hooray!”

  “Come on, we better go,” he reached for my hand, and we ran back to the car as quietly as possible.

  The second he closed the door, I was laughing. “I did it! I did it!” I was doing a little dance inside the car.

  “That was amazing, Atty! I knew you could do it.”

  I was so ecstatic I couldn’t stop myself from leaning toward him and kissing him, hard. He responded passionately, grabbing my waist and pulling me as close as was possible with the transmission shifter between us. I wanted to get closer so I crawled over the shifter and landed on his lap. I dug my fingers into his hair and kissed him like I couldn’t get enough. I had a bit of extra energy in me, and it flowed back and forth between us until I could feel my entire body longing to touch every bit of his. I cursed myself for wearing so much clothing. I hadn’t wanted to crawl through a grazing field in anything but jeans, but at that moment I wanted to feel his skin on mine. I wasn’t about to take anything off, though. Shedding clothing was a step I couldn’t handle yet. His hand slipped under my shirt, and my back felt soothed wherever he touched my skin.

  My moral traffic light was flashing amber, but I couldn’t help myself from pulling at the bottom of his shirt, too. Red lights flashed in my vision, but it wasn’t my conscience telling me to stop—a police car had whizzed by the spot we were parked. We both pulled away to make sure it hadn’t stopped next to us. Luckily, it was just passing through, but it had broken the spell.

  “As much as I’d like to continue, Atty, I think we better get out of here,” Ben said between hard breaths.

  “You’re right, I don’t know what got into me, sorry.”

  At that he laughed, “Not sorry.”

  I got back into the passenger’s seat and buckled my seatbelt as Ben got us back on the road. “Back to the house or do you want to try to see Nana?” he asked.

  “It’s late, visiting hours are over. Just take me home.”

  “About that…” Ben began slowly. I turned to look at him as he started to drive.

  “I’m going to stay with you tonight,” he continued.

  I flushed and stammered, “Um…I don’t know if, you know, that’s something I can handle yet.”

  He laughed nervously. “I didn’t mean I’m going to sleep with you. I meant I’m going to stay in your house. I know a lot has happened since earlier, but I haven’t forgotten about your Durand friends. I’m not going to leave you alone, Atty. It’s not safe.”

  “Christy and Ana aren’t
going to hurt me, Ben.”

  “I can’t be sure about that, Atty. I find it odd that they just happened to become friends with you.”

  “Thanks, a lot! I know I don’t have a lot of friends, but geez,” I replied, somewhat annoyed.

  “That’s not what I meant, Atty. For all we know, they’re trying to get to you because of your power.”

  “You think so?” I asked.

  “I don’t know, but I’m not comfortable leaving you alone.”

  “OK.”

  “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

  “OK.”

  When we got to the house, I set Ben up with sheets and pillows for the couch and went upstairs. It was weird knowing that he was just downstairs. Thinking about what had happened in the car earlier, I wondered what it would be like for him to share my bed. The thought of Nana finding out I had let a boy sleep with me kept me from asking him, though. Instead, I just lay there thinking about what a complicated day it had been.

  The picnic had been so nice, and besides the oddness with my friends, everything had been going so well. Then Dolores pulled the world out from under me and I fell into my personal hell. But tonight? Tonight had been amazing. Ben had told me he loved me, and then I had been able to transfer to another being. I somehow linked the two things as if the former were dependent on the latter. Maybe I had just needed to feel how much he believed in me. In any case, my life looked so much better then than it had after talking to Dolores. It would all be all right. Tomorrow everything would be all right.

  Chapter 16

  I awoke to the scent of French toast and was surprised to find Ben cooking it in the kitchen. I walked over to kiss him hello. He set a plate down in front of me and handed me the syrup.

  “I hope you’re feeling better today,” he said.

  “I am, much better.”

  “That’s good; it’ll help if you’re in a positive mood. We have a lot to figure out today.”

  He grabbed a bowl of strawberries that he had left by the sink and brought them to the table before sitting down. He smiled as I took several and placed them on my plate.

  “I don’t eat much anymore, but I must say that looks pretty.”

  I stuck one in my mouth as he continued, “We’re going to have to find a very large source of energy, or at least a lot of medium ones. You’ll need to store quite a bit to have enough to help Nana.”

  “How much can I store?”

  “Well, I’ve never really measured, but I know I can keep enough for a couple of weeks when I have to.”

  It occurred to me then that though he spent almost every waking minute with me I had not seen him eat much since he came; I hadn’t really seen him transfer either. Perhaps a little when he was helping me learn but not enough to sustain him. I had never felt like he was lacking energy.

  “Is that what you have been doing? I haven’t seen you feed at all.”

  “I usually take walks in the park at night after you go home. Don’t worry about me, Atty. I won’t have a problem.”

  “I guess it’s a good thing I hadn’t been compromising your time at night, too.”

  He gave me a mischievous grin and raised his eyebrow. “Well, I don’t know if I’d say that. I’m sure I’d be fine missing a few walks.”

  I blushed and looked down at my plate. Luckily there was still a piece of toast left for me to swirl around until I controlled my expression.

  “So what do you think we should do? Where should I get the extra energy I need for Nana?”

  “Well, we could go back to the ranch and collect from several cows tonight. Sorry I didn’t think of that last night; I was a bit distracted.”

  I wasn’t sure if he meant he was distracted because he was excited it had worked or because of what had happened in the car afterward, but I blushed again anyway.

  “It’s OK. We could try getting some around here, and if we can’t get enough, we can go back up tonight, though I’d rather do this today. I don’t want to leave it until the last minute.”

  “Do you want to go see Nana this morning, or do you want to go straight to collecting?”

  “Let’s just go collect. I was thinking maybe we could go horseback riding. Or maybe if we just pretend to be interested in buying a horse they might let us pet a few?”

  “Maybe, but it might get suspicious if a bunch of their horses suddenly get tired. I doubt they’d figure out it was you, but I’m sure it would cause a commotion.”

  “You’re right, I couldn’t just collect from a bunch of them. How about the zoo?”

  “How are you going to get to the animals? We’d probably get arrested if we try to cross the barriers.”

  “Yes, but I don’t plan on crossing any barriers. They have camel rides, a petting zoo with some large farm animals, and they also let you feed the giraffes.”

  “You think the giraffes would let you touch them long enough to collect?”

  “Maybe, it’s worth a shot.”

  “I guess so. We can start there. Then maybe visit a couple of riding places and just collect from different areas so it’s not so strange.”

  We made a tour of southwest Miami that morning, even going as far south as Homestead. The camel ride was the best. Since I was sitting on the camel as it walked around, I was able to collect quite a bit. The keepers noticed it looked fatigued after I got off, and they switched it for another camel. Ben got on the other camel and managed to get a good amount that he then let me transfer. At the petting zoo, I only pet two goats and a miniature horse. There were a lot of children there and I didn’t want all the animals to fall over. The giraffes were a bit difficult; they would come up to us to get their food but only let us touch them for a moment before backing away.

  One of the horseback riding places was farther south, so we went there right after the zoo. We got to ride for an hour and got a good amount there, but not as much as the camel since the horse was smaller, and I didn’t want it collapsing before we got back. After that, we drove up to a part of Kendall everyone refers to as “horse country” and visited a couple more places. We rode for another hour at one and just petted the horses under pretense of being interested in buying one at the second place. We got lucky that none of the horses got spooked. I hadn’t been worried that Ben would be rough enough to cause alarm, but I knew I had to concentrate if I wanted to keep the transfer smooth. By late afternoon, we had collected enough between the two of us that Ben thought we were ready to go see Nana at the hospital.

  I was a bit jittery as we drove; I couldn’t stop my legs from nervously bouncing up and down. I silently prayed that I would be able to do this, to save Nana. I didn’t know what I would do if I lost her. Ben reached over and took my hand. It felt good knowing that he was there with me and would help me through this.

  “You’re going to be great, Atty; try to relax.”

  “I know, but I can’t stop worrying. It’s not as if I’ve had a lot of practice at this.”

  “You’re a natural, Atty. Just look how well you did today, not so much as an odd look from any of the animals. I was very impressed. Usually beginners are not as smooth as you were, but I should have known you were elite.”

  “Elite?”

  “Yes, because you are the daughter of our greatest leader. You are his direct descendent and that makes you elite.”

  “But aren’t we all descendants of someone ancient?”

  “Yes, but your father was like a king among us. He was the strongest we’ve ever had. Not only could he transfer flawlessly, he was a brilliant and charismatic man.”

  “Then how did he die? How is that possible?”

  “Anything’s possible, Atty. There are ways to kill us. I’m sure you can think of several situations where transferring energy would not help you.”

  I thought about it for a moment and realized he was right. If a plane crashed or a car exploded, I supposed that our bodies could become so damaged that it would take a miracle to fix them.

  “You said it was
murder. How do you know?”

  “Because Eugenius was a cautious man. He hadn’t always been so, there were times when he was all out reckless, but that was before he met your mother. He wanted to be with her; we could all tell that she was different than his other relationships had been. He was very much in love with her.”

  “So you knew him? You knew my father?” I couldn’t believe I hadn’t asked more about this before.

  “Yes, I knew him, though not as well as my father did. But I can tell you this: He would have been so in love with you, Atty.”

  “He didn’t know my mother was pregnant when he died?”

  “I don’t think so, at least, none of us knew. If we had, we would have tried to help her and take care of you.”

  We were entering the hospital parking lot, and the change in light brought me back to the present.

  “We should probably talk about this later though, Atty. I don’t want to say anything to upset you right now. You need to be able to stay calm and concentrate.”

  “You’re right. We can get back to it later.”

  He parked the car, and I took a few deep breaths. I was extremely anxious. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach getting into some sort of fight with each other, and I needed to calm down.

  “Relax, Atty. Just breathe for a while. Everything will be OK.”

  I closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing again, just like I had done the night before by the field. I pictured the air flowing in and out of my lungs. I felt for every strained muscle and worked on disengaging it. It took me several minutes to calm down before nodding to Ben and getting out of the car.

  We walked through the parking lot hand-in-hand and up to the security line. Since we hadn’t been there yet that day, the guard took our pictures and gave us our visitor stickers. Ben grabbed my hand again as we walked to the elevator. I didn’t know why, but I noticed details that I hadn’t even registered before, things like the plaques on the wall with the names of doctors and sponsors of the hospital and the pastel drawings depicting palm trees or other Florida scenery. The elevator took a very long time to come down and I watched as the numbers lit above the doorway: 3 … 2 … 1. We moved aside as several people exited, then we got in and pressed the button for the ICU level. I could hear every click the elevator made and Ben breathing next to me. When the door opened again he looked at me, and I took a deep breath.