The Amour series (Book 1): The Embers of Amour

by LaRue, Coushatta

  “And it was not mine or my father’s fault. She was the only one causing her problems. She was the only one making herself suffer. No matter how much she blamed others. It was her fault. She had a sickness she refused to admit. And I finally had enough… I cut her from my life; and for once in my life, I was truly happy.” He pressed his lips together and rubbed his neck where the dry blood was. He looked drained. Abby took out a baby wipe for him and handed it to him. Evan took it and cleaned the blood. Abby stared ahead and let out a sigh of relief.

  “I’m sorry.” She heard him say quietly, “But don’t ever regret it. It made you who you are today. Stronger. Even if you don’t see it yet. You tried and that shows you have a heart and that is all that matters. You know not to make the same mistake again.” He grabbed the bag of jerky and started to eat some then he looked at her and added, “To never give your all to someone who will not give their all to you.”

  Abby nodded, and Evan offered her some jerky. She grabbed a handful and ate slowly. When they finished the jerky, Evan started the car and nodded to the backseat and said, “You should lie down and sleep.”

  “No I don’t want to.” She lied.

  “It will be okay. Just sleep and if you wake up needing help, I will help you. I’ll drive until I need some sleep.” His voice was so calm and peaceful. Abby wondered what he had done before the fall of everything. She nodded but just lowered her seat all the way back and shut her eyes. She felt very numb inside. She was shaken and felt lost, but she was happy Evan was there. She was grateful she had been able to speak the truth about her past. Her eyes closed as she drifted off to sleep. She woke to the sun shining in her eyes.

  Chapter fourteen

  The truck was stopped near an abandoned gas station. Abby saw an undead wobbling around the old pumps. She looked over at Evan. He was asleep. She stared at his face, and his beard that was growing wildly. She realized he was younger than she had first thought. He seemed very fit, and it confused her. She wondered if he had something to do with fitness before everything.

  She thought of Megan then looked at Evan’s wedding ring. She rubbed her face, and her stomach growled. She licked her dry lips and shook her head. She took her hair from the bun and let it fall to her shoulders. Her hair was very greasy and dirty. It felt gross on her neck. She pulled it back into a ponytail frowning.

  She drank some water and heard Evan shifting in his seat. He moaned and opened his eyes. For a moment, he seemed confused when he looked over at her then a look of disappointment appeared across his face. He must have been hoping for Megan. Abby frowned and looked away. He yawned and stretched his arms.

  “You okay?” He asked sleepily.

  “Yes I’m okay but hungry.” She told him folding her arms. He put his hands on the wheel and looked around. He saw the undead and glared.

  “There is a small town ahead. We shouldn’t stay long, but maybe we can pop into a store very fast and get something to eat.” He told her.

  Abby nodded as he started the truck up. As they drove, Abby started to notice burnt trees and grass. They passed a scorched car with two burned corpses inside. Her eyes widened as she stared around. They passed a few army trucks, and Abby shook her head.

  “Let’s go another way.” She said suddenly nervous. Evan glanced over at her then back ahead and replied, “It would take us hours to go around this place. It isn’t that big.”

  “That isn’t the problem,” Abby complained. As the town grew near, “This place went through liquidation. I don’t think you want to see it.” Evan looked at her confused and shrugged.

  “What is that?” He asked. She sighed and chewed her bottom lip before answering, “I guess you will see.”

  They entered the burned city and were hit with the smell of burnt flesh. Evan slowed down as the street became tight with burnt cars. He looked around in horror. There were burned bodies everywhere from old to young. They passed a car with a family of four, and Abby looked down at her lap frowning.

  “What is this?” Evan asked in shock. Abby looked up as he weaved around a wrecked army truck. Abby had forgotten how little people knew of the liquidation. It was the world’s last objective to try and stop the virus, and it was a huge failure.

  “Fire could kill the virus. It was the only thing that could.” Abby started to explain slowly. She had gone through a few towns like this, but each town frightened her more than the last.

  “When a town became infected, they would come in and burn everything.” Evan slowed the truck and covered his mouth with his hand. They passed two small bodies lying in the road.

  “The surrounding towns were put under lockdown. Depending on how many people were sick, they would choose. Fire or firing squad. The place where I was bitten had been under firing squad and burned.” She thought of the children she had seen in the classroom and closed her eyes.

  “How could they fucking do this?” Evan growled.

  “It was working for a while. But clearly the virus had gotten out of control; and by the time they started this, it was too late.” She told him sadly. Evan glanced over at her then back at the black road. Abby tried to ignore the ugly burned buildings around them. It was hard, and the smell was burning her eyes.

  “How do you know this?” He asked angrily.

  “Aaron told me. He was a firefighter.” She replied.

  “Did he do this?” His voice was loud and sharp.

  Abby shook her head but then lowered her eyes and squeezed her hands together. She had no idea if he did or not. He knew a lot about it, and a few nights he came home smelling of more than smoke. Then again he was the type who got mad at her for killing a spider instead of putting it outside. She closed her eyes; and when she opened them, she said, “I don’t know. I don’t think so. I think it was just the army.”

  “This is sick.” Evan gagged as they went around a couple lying in the street.

  “How could they do this? To all of these people.” He was getting angrier by the moment. Abby just wished they could have gone around the town. She thought it was strange that he had never been in a city like this.

  She looked at him and asked, “You have never seen a place like this?”

  “No…” Evan snapped then added, “I mean I have seen places with people who were shot to death. A few places with burned buildings. Nothing as bad as this though.”

  “Sometimes people don’t get a chance.” Abby told him sadly. Evan glanced at her with a disgusted look and hit the steering wheel. He quietly asked, “How did they get away with this?”

  “The world was so busy panicking about the virus and surviving that they had turned a blind eye to what was really going on.” She replied. Suddenly she lunged forward in pain. Her stomach twisted in knots, and her bladder burned. It was the same pain as before, but this time it was worse. Her vision went out for a moment, and she fell forward, losing consciousness. She screamed when she came back to, and Evan slammed on the brakes. He was out of the truck before Abby could even move. He pulled her door open, and she almost fell out.

  She tried to push herself away from him in embarrassment, but he refused to let go. Her body began to shake, and she was panting and crying. She did not know when he had pulled her sweatpants down, but he had, and he was helping her with her underwear too. He pulled her towards a small burnt car with no doors and helped her bend over. When her bladder released, she cried out in pain. It was like hundreds of tiny little needles stabbing into her. She hid her face in Evan’s chest. When she was done, he helped her up; so she could lean on the burnt car while he got the baby wipes.

  She felt horrified as he walked back to her. His expression was overwhelmed, and he looked pale. She was shaking and felt as if she were going to throw up. However, the pain in her stomach and bladder was slowly fading again. She felt ashamed and foolish and drained. Evan went to help her clean up when she ripped the baby wipes from his hands. He frowned sadly at her.

  “I can help Abby,” He gently said as he reached fo
r her. She put her hand up in refusal and tried to clean the dark blood from between her legs. Her legs gave out when she tried to put her left leg down, and Evan grabbed her. She tried to fight him, but he shook her hard and glared, “Let me help.”

  His stare had tenderness in it. Finally Abby accepted defeat and her body relaxed as she handed him the wipes.

  She cried silently as he cleaned her. She felt so humiliated and helpless. She started to fear that she was dying, and the thought was almost too much to bear. When Evan was done, he stood back up, tossed the dirty wipes; and then helped her pull her underwear and sweats back up. Then he put a hand on her neck and gazed at her. He rubbed tears from her cheeks and sighed, “It is okay, Abby. I am not judging you.”

  She looked at him then away and cried, “Just don’t.”

  “You can’t help it. There is nothing to be ashamed of. I want to help.” He smiled a very caring smile and put his arm around her back to help her walk back towards the truck. Her stomach growled again, and Evan stopped. He looked around, and she saw dread on his face. She glanced up and saw the horror around. There were no birds, no insects, and no nature sounds. Just the sound of Evan’s racing heart and the pounding in Abby’s head.

  Wind blew quietly through the streets and across Abby’s face. It felt like ice on her hot skin. She felt Evan pull her closer, and his body tensed. He scoffed, “A year ago I would’ve never guessed I would be standing in the middle of hell with someone I barely know.” He looked down at Abby with anguish then smiled and said, “I guess God knows what he is doing.”

  Abby frowned and so did Evan. He moved his lips then nodded his head and he asked, “You don’t believe?”

  She shook her head and answered slowly, “I haven’t since I was a kid.”

  He seemed to be hurt by her words, and it made Abby feel slightly bad. However, she was not going to lie to him.

  “I haven’t for a long time,” She sighed. She had not believed in God, since she was a young child.

  Evan pulled her close and grunted as they started for the truck. A gust of wind blew, and rot twisted in the air. Evan’s lips curled upward, and Abby closed her eyes tight. She felt so weak and fragile as if she would break in the wind. Evan pulled her carefully to his side back to the truck and sat her inside. She leaned against the seat and barely kept her eyes open to look at him. He was staring at her with a forlorn look. She wondered if she looked dead to him.

  “What did you do before this?” She asked quietly. He looked confused then he shrugged and rubbed sweat from his dark brows. “Does it matter?” He answered sharply.

  She shook her head slowly and smiled, “Yes it does.”

  His eyes shined a bit and he looked down at his feet when he answered. He sounded very far away, “I was a fitness coach. I owned my own gym.”

  He glanced over his shoulder as if he heard something and looked back at her with a weak expression. He seemed to be losing his emotional strength. It made Abby feel very sad inside. She reached for his face and touched it. His cheek was warm, and her hand was cold. He closed his eyes. She could feel him relax under her fingertips.

  “I had a feeling you were someone who helped people. That you were kind and caring.” She whispered with a smile.

  He opened his eyes and smirked then shrugged, “You say that to the one who tried to shoot you.” She titled her head and took her hand off his cheek and touched the bandage on her ear and nodded.

  “Hey but you missed,” She winked. He smiled lightly, both forgetting the graveyard around them. Yet only to be ripped back into reality when her body tensed in pain and she started to cough. He put his hand on her neck and the other on her arm and tightened his grip.

  “Are you okay?” He asked.

  Abby shook her head and replied with shortened breath, “I’m okay. My body just hurts.”

  Her stomach growled loudly, and Evan frowned. He stood up and gazed around the area. He looked back disappointed and said, “We need to find food and water.”

  He paused for a moment and looked at her clothes then his own bloody ones and added, “And some new clothing.”

  He closed Abby’s door slowly and hurried around the truck and got in. He turned the truck on, and Abby turned her body towards him. By the time they got out of the town, Abby was asleep again.

  Chapter fifteen

  When she opened her eyes, they were driving down an empty highway surrounded by trees. He was listening to music on low volume. When he saw her moving, he turned it off and said, “Sorry. Did I wake you?”

  She stretched and shook her head and replied, “No. What was that?”

  Evan turned the cd back on and soft piano music started.

  “Not sure. I just turned the radio on to see if anyone was talking. I pressed CD and found this.” He yawned and rubbed his eyes then finished, “I found it soothing.” Abby narrowed her eyes and turned it off. He gave her a strange look.

  “You mean sleepy?” She frowned and looked at the road. The sun was high in the sky. She felt very stiff and lightheaded. She did not feel any pain except for the soreness in her leg and broken finger.

  “How long have you been driving?” She asked wondering how long she had been asleep. She saw Evan shrug then he answered nonchalantly, “Few hours I guess.”

  She saw the sleepiness in his hazel eyes. She felt like a child for a moment and then suggested, “You should let me drive and you sleep.” He gave her a look and forced at smile.

  “I am okay.” He said flatly.

  “You look exhausted.” She replied.

  He shrugged again and said, “I am. But I don’t think it is a good idea for you to drive.” Abby felt offended and looked down at her legs. She understood why he would feel that way, and he was right. She could have some pain attack at any moment. She heard him clear his throat and he said, “Sorry. I just don’t want to risk it.”

  “It is okay,” Abby started then took in a breath and continued, “I wouldn’t let me drive either.” She rolled her eyes. He let out a laugh and rubbed his fingers through his thick hair. Abby’s stomach growled loudly. And she noticed that Evan looked paler than he had the day before. They were going to starve if they did not find food soon. She crossed her arms, trying to ignore the burning in her belly. She found her water bottle and sipped it carefully.

  “What did you do before this?” Evan questioned.

  “I actually owned my own clothing business. It was an online shop. I customized everything and even made jewelry. I also wrote books. Well I had not published any, but I was very close before all this.” Abby happily replied. She started to think back on how she would sit for hours writing on her laptop and drawing dresses and new ideas for jewelry. It was fun, and she enjoyed it. Then she grimaced and remembered how angry Aaron had got at her when she wanted to quit her job to write fulltime.

  “What is wrong?” Evan asked. Abby realized she must have been making a face, and she sighed.

  “I wanted to write more and focus less on my stupid retail job I had at the time. Do more art for new clothing ideas and focus on my dream job.” She closed her eyes and saw Aaron’s disappointed annoyed face that he gave her so many times. She went on, “Once Aaron had told me happily, he did not want me to work; and he would take care of me when he got his firefighting job. Everything would be fine, and I could write all I want and not worry.”

  “And when he got his job everything changed?” Evan guessed.

  “We had started to fight before then about stupid pointless things. Like how much time he spent with his exes alone, how he talked to the girls at work, the way he got mad at me when I would buy food; because I didn’t want to live on heat up food!” Abby was raising her voice and going off topic quickly. She felt very frustrated suddenly and did not even realize how much bitterness she had in her until now. She paused for a moment and took in a deep breath.

  “Sorry… when I had told him my online clothing store had picked up, and I was thinking of leaving my job and that I w
as very unhappy at it he just panicked I guess.”

  “He said he felt like he had to take care of me and did not want to. He felt stressed, because he paid most of the bills, overwhelmed because he felt as if I did not want to work, and he just did not want to have all that responsibly.” She rolled her eyes at how stupid it all sounded now. She felt her cheeks burn hot as she remembered how much she worried about it and cried about it.

  “Funny how someone changes and you don’t even realize it until it is over.” Evan mused. Abby nodded. Silence filled the car, and it started to make Abby’s head throb. She felt very sad again, and tears filled her eyes. She did not want to cry or show she still cared. However, she knew she still had love for Aaron. Happy memories started to fill her mind. She did not want to remember the love he barely gave her. She did not want to remember him.

  “You know… he said he had built up bitterness and resentment for me. That when he thought of me he felt so much love; but when he was with me, he just felt so much anger and annoyance.” She went on folding her arms onto her lap and leaned against the door. She watched clouds zip by as she talked.

  “He had opened up to me once about something, and I did not take it well. I felt horrible about it for so long. I tried making up for it. I tried so hard, did so much and gave everything. And he would never forgive me. He even told me he knew why I acted that way and did not blame me, and it was his fault for saying it too soon.” She groaned and rubbed her burning stomach. Her head was spinning, and she felt drained. At least this time, it was because she was hungry and not urinating blood.

  “After some time he said he forgave me, but that he did not think he did on the inside. He even kept saying I did nothing wrong.” She felt a tear roll down her cheek. She heard Evan sniffle, and he rubbed his face sleepily. She looked over at him with tears in her eyes and felt foolish; but when he looked over at her, she asked in a hushed voice, “Why keep blaming me and being bitter towards me if I did nothing wrong?”