The Amour series (Book 1): The Embers of Amour

by LaRue, Coushatta

  The muscles in Evan’s face were tense, and his eyes were half shut. He looked back at the road and rubbed his lips together. He seemed to be thinking then he said “Because he was looking for a reason to make it fall apart.”

  She gave him a queer look. He saw her expression and rubbed his fingers through his hair again and then laid one arm on the door. She heard him swallow hard and could hear his heart beating slowly.

  “Let’s say you have wanted something for so long and you finally get it. Then you realize it is not what you wanted or you just aren’t ready for it. Or realize the commitment is just too much. You try to find an escape door... use every little reason to be a deal breaker. Everything is fine though. So you try to focus on the things that don’t matter. Like you not wanting to eat just heat up food… make a huge deal out of it. And the easiest thing is turn everything around on you, so he won’t look like the bad guy.”

  He paused to rub his mouth, and then he started again, “He was an addict also. They only care about themselves truly. And they never see their flaws or problems. All of their mistakes will always be others doings. He was a coward and weak. He wanted there to be a problem, so you two would break up, because he was tired of you always pointing out his bad doings. He hated being faced with the truth.”

  Evan gazed out the window for a long moment before adding, “Keeping that bitterness made it easier for him to find that escape. No matter how much he loved you. He wanted out, because he knew the truth deep down.”

  “That he was not a good person and could not make me happy, because he did not even know how to make himself happy. Because he was lost just like I was.” Abby finished for him. Her voice was full of agony and remorse. It was so simple now. He was an addict who was in denial, and she had emotional problems that she was in denial about. Nevertheless, Aaron had always been quite arrogant and egotistic. He was also mean and cold. He was looking for something that did not exist. And she had been looking for something in him that would never exist.

  “How did you meet Megan?” Abby asked clearing her throat. She knew it was too soon to ask, but she needed to get her mind off of Aaron, and Megan was the first thing that popped up in her head. She saw Evan’s body tense up, and his face harden. He looked at his wedding ring, and it relaxed him. He stared at the road for a long time before he let out a giggle and smiled shyly.

  “At an outdoor ice cream shop. I was jogging and stopped to stretch when I saw her getting some chocolate ice cream. I laughed and made a joke, being an asshole.” He smacked his lips and laughed again as he continued, “Normally when I was being an ass people just walked away. Well she didn’t. She turned around and flipped out, cursing me out. I felt very stupid as everyone turned to look at me. She then tossed the ice cream at me saying ‘I’d rather be a fatty than a stuck up judgmental cunt’.” Evan laughed hard and then rubbed his head. He breathed. Then a blue expression crossed his face.

  “I apologized later that week when I ran past her again. She asked me if I wanted to eat ice cream with her. And I did… after that it was just us. I started eating ice cream with her on that peer, and she started jogging with me. One thing led to another.” He smiled sadly and moved his finger that had his wedding ring, and he spoke so painfully when he said, “It feels like so long ago now.”

  Abby chewed her bottom lip. She was not sure of what to say so she said the first thing that popped up in her head, “Sounded like you two had a true fairytale.”

  She grinned; but when Evan looked at her, she saw the look in his eyes and knew that it had not been. She sighed heavily. She wanted to hear a happy ending from someone with love.

  “It was wonderful. But we had a lot of problems too. I was full of it back then. I was with her but had a habit of living a single life. I never cheated, but I flirted a lot and had no boundaries with others. I did not think of her feelings.” She saw him tense again, and he popped his neck. He looked ashamed, and she saw his eyes glass over. He swallowed hard and chuckled.

  “She got sick of my shit and walked out. I pretended like I didn’t care until I was lying in my bed alone. I begged her back, and I changed. And I am so happy I did. What is worth it does not come easy.” He explained his voice was low and full of sorrow.

  He looked at her and lowered his eyes and added kindly, “She had her problems too. I sometimes catch myself thinking of the things she never said sorry about. And it really bugs me that I did not get the chance to talk to her about it. I never built up bitterness though. It was my fault I did not talk to her about my hurt feelings not hers. It still hurts though.” His voice trailed off as if he remembered something.

  He rubbed his nose and sniffled, “Guess none of that matters now.”

  She noticed him rubbing his face and knew he had started to cry. She felt bad for bringing it up. She felt empty inside and lonely and knew that was how Evan felt too.

  “She was very kind,” Abby said after moments of silence. Megan had been very kind, maybe too kind. Evan had the right to be paranoid. Abby could have been a bad person and after them.

  “Yes she was very kind.” He sniffled.

  Chapter sixteen

  Two hours of silent driving made Abby drift in and out of sleep until Evan pointed out a sign slowly coming into view... It said ‘Welcome to Ashford, Texas’ and under it painted in blood was ‘Beware the living. Don’t enter.’ Abby leaned forward, looking at the sign; then she lowered her eyes to the ground and saw a body lying there. Evan slowed the truck to a stop, and they both just sat there.

  “I don’t think this is a good idea, Abby,” he told her his voice full of concern.

  “Probably isn’t. But, what else are we to do? I feel as if my stomach is eating itself, and you don’t look too good yourself.” She said as she looked over at him. Evan looked at himself in the mirror and back at the road. They could see the small city ahead behind the trees, and it looked lifeless. Abby feared what was in it. The dead were not what people should fear. It was the living they should fear. Abby knew that all too well.

  “We could park away from the city and walk the rest of the way. Hide by the buildings, go through alleyways, and sneak into the first store and book it when we get supplies. We can turn around and just find another way to Haven.” Evan said slowly unsure of what they should do. He glanced at Abby’s crutch. She could see he was rethinking his plan.

  “I am coming with you.” She snapped before he could say anything. She knew she would probably slow them down, however she also knew she could sense the undead before they were near and probably keep them away from Evan if they came close. She was about to explain this to Evan when he replied, “Okay. We do this quietly and as fast as we can. If you feel that urge coming on, tell me as soon as possible; so I can help you.”

  She had forgotten her bloody problem and looked down red-faced. Her stomach was hurting, and her leg was sore, but her bladder felt okay right now. She nodded as Evan started driving again. He kept glancing up at the skyscrapers in the city. She saw goosebumps on his arms. He was very nervous, and she could not only see it but could feel it in her bones. She closed her eyes and tried to think of a happier place to ignore the fact that this city was probably going to be harder to get out of than hoped. Then she opened her eyes and stared at the city. She refused to ignore the problem.

  They parked on the edge of the city. Abby felt as if they were too close to the city, but her stomach was in knots. Evan got out first and then Abby. She stood awkwardly with her crutch under her sore arm and looked at Evan who was looking around nervously. The wind was blowing hard, and Abby could hear the undead moaning in the distance. She rubbed her neck and took a deep breath.

  “Stay close okay?” He told her agitated. Abby was too hungry to care about the risk of going into the city, and she was not scared of the undead. Abby was on the verge of passing out, and Evan was getting very angry as he grew hungrier. Abby feared what would happen if they did not find food soon. They started to walk in the ditch under the
protection of the trees. It was very quiet, and it sent shivers down Abby’s spine.

  As they walked closer, Abby finally got the real picture of the city. It was bigger than she had thought, and it made her even more fearful. There could be thousands of undead wandering around this city. She wobbled alongside of Evan and kept glancing at him to make sure he was fully aware. She felt silly, worrying about him. He had been a fitness trainer, and it was very clear he was still in good shape. She knew it was her who should be worrying about herself.

  When they got closer to the opening of the city, they used cars as cover until they got to the streets. Evan stopped behind a large black wall, and Abby stopped behind him. He glanced around the corner for a second then back.

  He leaned close to her and whispered, “I see nothing. Let’s move slowly. Stay close to the wall.” She nodded in reply.

  Abby’s heart was racing, and she felt adrenaline pumping through her body. Her mouth was dry, and her leg was throbbing. Her head was killing her, and even worse she could hear Evan’s heartbeat in her ears and his heavy breathing. She was sweating, and the silence was making her feel crazy inside. Evan slipped around the corner, and Abby quickly followed. She was already panting and tired.

  The city looked oddly cleaner than any other place she had been to. There were abandoned cars and a few broken windows and doors in the buildings. However, there were no sign of corpses lying around or any other signs of violence. She wondered if the sign had been a lie to keep people out of the town, because it was okay. She shook the thought from her head.

  They passed up random shops and buildings. Abby wanted to tell Evan that they should just look in them for food and leave. Vending machines could be inside, and right now that would be fine with Abby. She did not like this city, and it was making her bowels turn. She cursed her body, and hoped nothing would go wrong with it. Evan stopped suddenly, and she ran into him. He twisted around and grabbed her before she could fall. He pulled her close and shushed her and turned both of them forward. He pointed.

  There was a small grocery store across the street between a clothing shop and a fast food restaurant. There were a few cars parked in the lot that looked as if they had been there for a very long time. The windows of the store had been broken, and the front door was gone. Abby did not have a good feeling about it. By the way she felt Evan shaking next to her she knew he felt the same way. He wanted out of the city as fast as she did.

  They waited for a moment. Evan scoped out the area, looking at the surrounding buildings and the abandoned cars. It was very quiet. Abby closed her eyes and listened to the moans and growls of the undead far away and hoped they would not come this way. Evan started to move with his hand still on Abby’s arm. They moved awkwardly through the sideway and stopped at a crosswalk. Evan looked both ways, and he dug his fingers into her arm nervously. He pulled her quickly towards the other side of the road. Abby had to hobble halfway, and it made her head spin.

  When they got to the other side of the street, Evan pressed his body up against the side of a metal building and took in a long deep breath. Abby realized he was more afraid than he was showing. He looked down the road and then down an alleyway. Abby heard a strange sound like a door opening and closing, and she looked up at a tall skyscraper that was a street down. It was blue and the sun shined off of it brightly. There was a large old stone church next to it.

  Abby looked down as Evan glanced back at her and said, “No matter what we do we will be in the open.”

  She blinked and looked back at the blue skyscraper and felt her heart sink. She felt as if they were being watched. She swallowed and replied, “We should hurry.”

  Evan nodded in agreement, and they hurried across the street in the open. The wind was blowing hard, and it was cold on Abby’s skin. She felt goosebumps slowly traveling down her arms. Her leg ached, and her head was still spinning. She felt weak from the lack of food, and her stomach was churning from fear.

  They stopped near a large SUV, and Evan looked around causally and slowly walked towards the opening of the store. Abby followed. Glass crunched under her feet. She looked down at it and frowned. When they got to the door, Evan looked into the darkness of the store for a long time before entering. Abby followed slowly then glanced back at the blue skyscraper. When they were inside, it became too quiet.

  The store was a mess. It had been broken into and ransacked. There were items all over the floor and cash registers torn apart. Something smelled awful inside the store; and in the middle of the store, a light was hanging by one single wire threatening to fall at any moment. Evan looked around for something then walked behind a counter. He came back with something in his hands. It was large bags made of cheap thread. They had the logo of the store on them, and something about saving the environment by using the reusable bags.

  “Okay I know it would be better for us to split up, but that is always a stupid idea. Stay close to me and put whatever you think we need in the bags.” He explained with a slight hesitation in his voice. She saw he was sweating and shaking lightly. She could sense his fear, and it was overwhelming her. The only light in the store came from the front door and windows. They started down the middle aisle. Abby’s crutch clanked on the title floor. It sounded so loud in the quiet store.

  The aisle was almost empty except for some cereal boxes and pasta boxes crushed on the floor. They walked slowly towards the end into the darkness, and she felt Evan slowing down. Her breathing was getting deeper. They stopped at the end of the aisle, and Evan looked both ways. Abby looked at the meat coolers in front of them. She could see and hear flies buzzing around. She could not see anything in the meat coolers though.

  Evan moved to his right, and Abby followed. Her crutch was annoying her with every step. Evan glanced back at her as the clanking sound from it grew louder and became an echo. She stopped and closed her eyes. Evan touched her lightly and nudged his head forward. She followed. The next aisle they went down had can foods and jars. There were a lot of broken jars shattered across the floor. The end of Abby’s crutch hit one and broke a piece. The sound was loud, and it made Evan jump. He looked back irritated.

  He stopped and reached towards a shelf and grabbed a small can. He examined it and then opened it. The sound of metal scraping on metal was loud in Abby’s ears. She could smell the meat as soon as Evan turned to her with the can. He was smiling and pulled out a small sausage.

  “Doesn’t need to be cooked.” He grinned. He popped it in his mouth and offered some to Abby. She struggled to grab one then ate it. It tasted cold and not that great. However, she reached for another one as did Evan. It felt so good to chew and eat something. Her stomach was not enjoying it however. It twisted in knots and threatened to make her throw up. She became very still and fought the urge. Ever since she had been bitten, her body kept trying to refuse food. She had lost much weight because of it.

  She took another and this time slowly ate it. Evan was throwing a fourth one into his mouth, smirking in excitement as if they were eating ice cream. When they finished off the can, Evan tossed two more of the tiny sausage cans into his bag. He grabbed two cans that were knocked over also. One was a can of beans, while the other was carrots. Abby wrinkled her nose at the carrots. She hated canned carrots but would eat anything right now. She turned towards the shelf on their right and started to look.

  “Let’s hurry this up.” Evan said suddenly, breaking the silence. The enjoyment of the sausages was already gone. Abby saw a few cans on the top shelf and reached for them. One was beans and wieners and two other ones were noodles and sauce. She looked down at the floor, stared at some black goo on the floor, and stepped over it. She heard Evan quietly saying something happily and heard something hit a can in his bag. He must have found something else.

  As they moved down the aisle, Abby started to feel more at ease. It frightened her. It was not good to let down your guard. Not in a city like this. She knew there were probably hundreds of undead around the city just wa
iting to find someone to eat. She saw a can of beef stew and grabbed it when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She jumped and looked back to see Evan standing behind her. His face looked soft, and his eyes calm.

  “We should find some water or some kind of drink and leave. I think this is enough until we get to a different town.” He opened his bag for her to see.

  He had seven cans, while Abby’s bag held four. She nodded her head in agreement, and they moved from the aisle. As they walked towards another, Abby glanced outside the front towards the street. It was empty, but her stomach sank. Something did not feel right. The city was too quiet, and she knew that Evan felt the same way.

  They walked past a few aisles before coming to one that had drinks on it. They walked down it slowly and started to look. Abby’s skin started to crawl, and the hair on the back of her neck started to rise. She ignored the racing of her heart and tried to focus on the task at hand. She grabbed a large two liter bottle of soda and put it in her bag. She had not drunk soda in years, but it did not matter anymore. She would down a soda in the matter of seconds now. She stepped over some glass soda bottles and leaned downward to see something on the bottom shelf.

  She heard Evan tossing something into his bag. She reached for the bottle on the shelf and paused. Her vision faded in and out, and she felt numb. She could not hear for a moment, and her body froze. Her blood was racing, and she felt something hot running through her body. She could hear Evan’s heartbeat so loudly that it felt as if it were right next to her ear. She grabbed the bottle carefully and slowly stood up. Evan was kneeling, looking at something on the floor in front of him when she heard it.

  The odd thumping sound, a similar rhythmic pattern she had heard somewhere before, the sound of water rushing through a dam. She froze staring at the bottle of water in her hands. She was shaking badly. Something was very wrong. She could not focus on what it was though. She needed to tell Evan, but she could not move. She could only stare down at the bottle of water with a horrified look. Another thumping sound entered her ears. She finally was able to move her eyes upwards towards Evan.