Jewell led Harmony to the couch.
“I don’t think I can do this by myself, take care of another baby.” Harmony didn’t want to be like everyone she knew and have baby after baby by someone who could care less.
“Girl, please, do you know how many girls are doing it by themselves? If you decide to have the baby it’s going to be a challenge, but I’ll be there for you.”
Harmony looked in Jewell’s eyes. “You’re always there for me.”
“That’s what family is for.”
“I am going to think about having an abortion, though.”
“Well, whatever you decide to do, I’ve got your back.”
That night when Harmony left Jewell’s house, she promised her she was going to think about whether she wanted to have the baby or not.
The next morning when Jewell called her for her decision, Harmony still had not made up her mind.
“Don’t wait until it’s too late,” Jewell warned.
Harmony waited around all day to hear from Ny’em. Day turned into night and one day turned into the next. Harmony didn’t think much of it because that was the way he operated, being a hustler and all. But after two days of not hearing from him and with her situation at hand, she called up one of his boys. “Have you heard from Ny’em?”
“Your boy got picked up last night with product.”
This is not what Harmony wanted to hear. “What! Please tell me you’re lying.”
“I wish I could, but I’m not.”
Well, come to find out, one of his old runners snitched on him and he ended up having to do some serious time. Harmony in the back of her mind planned on having an abortion but she kept putting it off and time slipped away. Before she knew it, Harmony was four months along in her pregnancy.
“Do you think it’s too late to have an abortion?” she asked Jewell, one night when she was visiting.
Jewell wanted to knock her upside the head, but instead she said, “Don’t you know that at four months the baby’s heart is beating? Girl, that’s a life inside you now. If you wanted to have an abortion, you should have done that in month one or two. If you were to do some stupid shit like that now, you’d be committing murder.”
When Jewell put it that way, Harmony knew she wouldn’t be able to go through with an abortion.
So she had the baby and just as she predicted, it was a struggle doing it on her own.
Shareef was still standing in front of Harmony, waiting on an explanation. “Why didn’t you tell me he was calling here, why did you keep it from me?”
Harmony told him the truth. “I was afraid to.”
“If you were afraid to tell me then you must have known it was wrong.”
Harmony walked over to the couch and collapsed on it. She was mentally drained. “Shareef, I don’t know what else to say. I can apologize until I’m blue in the face, but that doesn’t mean you will accept it. I know I was wrong but you have to understand, I got caught up in the moment. I know that’s no excuse but it’s the best I could offer.”
Shareef didn’t even let her finish what she had to say, he was disgusted. “I’m out of here.”
Harmony wanted to stop him but with the way the conversation was going and from the look on Shareef’s face and the tone of his voice, she figured what’s the point.
“What time will you be home?” Harmony followed him to the door. She was going to make this up to him some kind of way.
He didn’t answer her, he just opened the door, stepped through it, and slammed it shut behind him.
Harmony knew she fucked up. She knew she should have told Shareef when Ny’em called the first time. The only person she had to blame for this situation was herself. She should have listened to King when he told her to tell Shareef right away.
After the first phone call from Ny’em and his request to speak with Shacquille, Harmony should have known that wasn’t a topic that was going to be dropped.
“Why now, Ny’em?” she asked him. “Why are you reaching out after all these years?”
“Because my plan was to do this bid by myself,” he told her. “I didn’t want to involve you or any of my other children’s mothers.”
That was typical Ny’em style, selfish as always.
“You see,” Ny’em continued, “I’ve been taking these classes and going to group and it’s made me see who I really was and I’m a changed man. With me changing, it got me to wondering how my son was doing.”
That shit threw Harmony for a loop, she had nine years of anger built up in her. His ass didn’t even want her to have Shaquille. She was ready to let him have it.
“You wanted to see how your son was doing? The son you didn’t want? The son you told me to abort? The son I had to support by myself.” Harmony, who had been standing, had to sit down on that note, because she felt like she was about to pass out from anger. “How dare you! How dare you act like you care. Ny’em, I know you.”
She told him of something she suspected all these years. “I know that before you got locked up you hid money somewhere. You were always bragging about it. Did your ass once call me and offer me anything? No! Did you send me a message? No! My life has not been easy. Your son’s life has not been easy. Thank God I met Shareef, he’s a good man, better than you ever were.” Harmony felt like patting herself on the back, that was some shit she’d been holding in for a long time.
“I’m not even going to get upset by that statement,” Ny’em told her, “because I know you’re trying to hurt me and that’s okay.”
Ny’em’s tone was way calmer than Harmony expected it to be.
“I’m a changed man,” he continued, “more than you will ever know and I want to make up for that lost time with my son. I want to make up for what I’ve done to you and what I didn’t do for you. If jail taught me anything it taught me how precious life is and I need to make amends to you, Shacquille, and my other children.”
Ny’em said this with such intensity that Harmony almost gave in, but it was not going to be that easy. During his speech, she had figured out what he was trying to tell her. “Are you telling me you’re getting out soon?”
“Yes, I will be getting released soon. I am unsure of the exact date, but I know it’s within thirty days.”
Shareef is going to have a fit. “Ny’em, you’ve got children with other women, Shacquille is doing good right now, Shareef is a great father figure, and we have a family. Please, consider leaving Shacquille alone and making amends with your other kids. As a matter of fact, I release you from all your fatherly responsibilities and forgive you fully for not being there.”
“Listen, Harmony, I am going to see Shacquille, you need to understand that and you also need to understand that I am not the same man, I am going to break the fatherless cycle in my family. I no longer want to do what my father did to me and what his father did to him. I am not abandoning any of my children once I get out. I am adamant on this.”
It was then the operator interrupted and told them they had thirty seconds to complete their call.
Harmony had to get the last word in. “Well, Ny’em, I don’t feel good about your selfish-ass decision. You should consider Shacquille’s mental health and how it might negatively impact him after not hearing a word from you ever.” To really dig the fork in deeper because she was pissed off to a new degree, Harmony continued, “I actually told him that you were dead and when I found out you got the kingpin charge and your lawyer said you would never be free again, I believed him.”
Ny’em screamed through the phone, “You told him what? Well, you better tell him something because I will see my son.”
Harmony slammed down the phone. She knew this shit was going to happen just when she was getting her life in order. Damn, can it ever be easy?
It’s when he called back the third time, talking that same, I want to see my son shit, that Harmony called Jewell. She needed to talk this out.
The only thing was Jewell wasn’t home and King could hear the di
straction in her voice.
“What’s going on?” he asked her. “Is everything okay?”
Not able to hold it in, Harmony told him, “No, everything is not okay. You know that motherfucker Ny’em’s been calling me, telling me he’ll be home soon and that he wants to get acquainted with Shacquille.”
“You’re straight lying.”
“I wouldn’t lie about this and that’s just part of it. I kind of told Shacquille that his father had died.”
“Damn, Harmony, why would you tell him that shit?”
“Because I didn’t know what else to tell him.”
“If I’m not mistaken, didn’t Ny’em get the kingpin charge?”
“Exactly, so now I can’t help but wonder why his ass is getting out now.”
“What does Shareef have to say about all this?”
Harmony didn’t answer him.
He repeated himself. “What does Shareef have to say about all this?”
“I haven’t told him.”
“What! Are you crazy? You know what, never mind, don’t even answer that. Let’s just put this shit in order. Your first concern should be the impact that Ny’em will have on Shacquille and correcting that lie you told about him being dead. Secondly, you really need to tell Shareef what’s going on. Knowing my boy, he’s not going to handle it well but it’s better to tell him now and deal with the consequences than for him to find out some other way. Also, even though I hate saying this, you need to understand where Ny’em is coming from. When men are locked down they go through changes. They see other dudes corresponding with their families and they think this is what they want and need. I wouldn’t put too much stock into anything he’s saying while he’s locked up. Because when men are in prison time stands still. They create pseudo-realities for themselves to survive, until they get out and reality sets in. Once Ny’em gets out and that nine years of back child support attacks his ass, rent, cable, and the rigors of a job—that is, if he can find one and doesn’t go back to hustling—the last thing he’s going to be thinking about is your son. You and I both know Ny’em has never worked a honest day in his life. Two seconds after he’s free he’s going to be chasing that money on the block. I say all this to say, you need to tell Shareef and you and him had better come up with a plan.”
Damn, if only she had listened.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
ELSIE
“Come on, girl, one more mile to go.”
Elsie looked at Angel and rolled her eyes.
“You can roll your eyes all you want. You’re the one who thought of this. You’re the one who called me up talking about you want to do a triathlon.”
Elsie didn’t know what the hell she was thinking when that idea popped in her head. Well, actually she did, she figured if she did something physical, something to challenge her body then maybe, just maybe, she’d be able to get this baby thing off her mind.
Well, it wasn’t working.
Earlier that morning, Elsie made an appointment with a doctor she read about that specialized in sperm-donor procedures. She wanted to find out more about the procedure and discuss her options. The appointment was scheduled for later that day so until then she was going to fill up the hours by working out and handling business for the center.
“Come on, speed it up,” Angel demanded. “Mind over physical, mind over the physical.”
Elsie stopped in her tracks. “Okay, enough of this shit, let’s walk.”
Angel laughed. “Tired?
Elsie stopped, bent over, and caught her breath. “What do you think?”
“Well, you might as well get it together because you are going to finish this last mile.”
Not bothering to respond, Elsie stood up and took off; after all, this is what she paid Angel for, to work her ass out.
Less than ten minutes later they were sitting on a bench, sipping Gatorade. They were deep in a discussion when a woman stopped in front of them. “Elsie?”
Elsie looked up, it was Savannah, the woman from the mall. She was dressed like she’d been working out as well. “So you’re a runner?” Savannah asked her.
“It might look that way, but looks are deceiving,” Elsie told her. She looked at Angel and said, “Savannah, this is Angel, my trainer, Angel, this is Savannah.”
“Nice meeting you,” Savannah told Angel.
“Same here.” Angel stood up. “Call me when you’re ready for your next appointment,” she told Elsie.
“I’ll do that.”
As Angel walked off, Elsie asked Savannah, “Do you have anywhere to be in the next hour or so?”
“No, why?”
“Want to go grab a cup of coffee?”
“Sure, I’d like that.”
They were both familiar with the coffee shop that was a few blocks away. They decided to walk.
“So how’s your nonprofit going?” Savannah asked.
“Better than I expected.”
“That’s good to hear. Don’t forget I’m available if you need me, I didn’t give you my card for nothing.”
They entered the coffee shop and stood in line to order.
“So what’s your schedule like? When would you be available to come and speak to the girls?”
“My schedule is flexible. I share a practice with three other doctors and we rotate. Just so you know, Tuesdays and Thursdays are my busiest days, so any other day would be your best bet. Just give me some notice and I’ll be there.”
“Can I help you?” the girl behind the counter asked.
They told her what they wanted and waited off to the side while it was being made.
“How long have you been running? I haven’t seen you in the park before today,” Savannah asked.
“This is a new thing for me. I’ve decided to try a triathlon.”
“Get out. I do triathlons as well.”
Elsie inconspicuously snuck a peek at Savannah’s frame and liked what she saw.
“Well, maybe we can train together sometimes.”
“I’d like that, because whenever you train with someone it’s less of a task, less daunting.”
“Your drinks are up,” the cashier called out as she placed them on the counter.
Elsie and Savannah paid for their order then looked around to see if there were any open seats. They spotted a table in the corner and headed in that direction.
As they were sitting, Elsie glanced toward the window and noticed a profile that looked like Summer. She shook her head and wondered if it was a figment of her imagination.
It wasn’t. Summer walked in holding hands with another female. Elsie couldn’t help but stare and Savannah noticed.
“Do you know them?” Savannah asked.
Elsie could feel the green-eyed monster coming on.
Elsie stood up and unable to control herself, told Savannah, “Excuse me, I’ll be right back.” She started to walk toward Summer and her friend. As she took each step she tried to think of what she was going to say.
Damn, Summer still looks fine. Summer’s back was turned, therefore she didn’t see Elsie walk up behind her.
“Summer?”
Summer recognized Elsie’s voice before she even turned around. “Elsie, how are you?” She reached out to give her a hug.
Elsie hugged her back. She must have done it a little too long because the woman Summer was with had attitude written all over her face.
“How’s Winter?” Elsie asked.
“Winter’s fine, thanks for asking.”
There was an awkward moment when neither of them said a word. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot, I’ve been wanting to call you,” Elsie told her.
Of course, Summer’s friend wasn’t going to let that comment go. She put out her hand for Elsie to shake. “Hi, I’m Sunny.”
Elsie almost threw up as she thought, Summer, Winter and Sunny, how cute.
Realizing how rude she was being, Summer apologized. “I’m sorry, Elsie this is Sunny, Sunny this is Elsie.”
&n
bsp; From the way Sunny raised her eyebrows, Elsie wondered if Sunny recognized her name. She hoped so because if she did, it meant that Summer still spoke of her and if she talked about her, she thought about her.
“Nice to meet you,” Elsie lied.
Sunny didn’t bother to fake the funk. “I have to go to the ladies’ room, I’ll be right back.”
The second Sunny was out of earshot, Elsie asked, “Is she your lover?”
Amused, Summer crossed her arms and nodded her head toward Savannah, who was sipping her coffee and patiently watching the interaction. “Is she yours?”
Why Elsie decided to lie was beyond her but she found herself saying, “she’s someone I’m seeing.”
The next thing she knew, Summer started walking toward the table. “I’d like to meet her.”
What was Elsie suppose to do now that she’d stuck her foot in her mouth? Shit, shit, shit. When they reached the table, Savannah put down her cup and greeted Summer.
Instead of introducing herself, Summer said to Elsie, “I see you still have good taste, she’s a beautiful woman.”
Savannah looked at Elsie but didn’t say a word.
“I’m Summer.”
“Savannah.”
Elsie tried to think of a way to get out of the situation before her lie was revealed but no such luck because Sunny walked up and greeted Savannah: “Dr. Matthews, how are you?”
As luck would have it, Savannah was Sunny’s doctor.
“Isn’t this a small-ass world? So you know Elsie’s date?” Summer asked.
Sunny was stunned by this news because as far as she knew Savannah was married. She wondered if this was one of those “down low” situations.
Savannah finally caught on and before she could decide what to do or say, the cashier called out to Summer and Sunny.
Elsie watched them walk away. Her gaze was interrupted by Savannah saying, “So, we’re lovers, huh?”
Embarrassed, Elsie sat down and placed her head in her hands. “I’m so sorry about that.”
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