“She’s your ex?”
“Yeah.”
“You still love her?”
Elsie answered honestly, “sometimes.”
Savannah touched her hand. “Girl, don’t sweat it, but know this. Your ass owes me big-time.”
“Just let me know how I can pay up.”
Savannah winked and told her, “I’ll think of something.”
Elsie wondered what was up with the wink, what was behind it. Was she flirting? Fuck it, she decided to find out. “Are you gay?”
Savannah smiled. “I’ve dipped and dappled a few times.”
Elsie looked down at Savannah’s hands. She noticed a wedding band. “It looks to me like your married.”
Savannah leaned in and said, “and?”
Elsie was not one to play with fire or to have casual affairs with women, but for Savannah, whom she found extremely attractive, she just might consider throwing caution to the wind. She was tired of being an uptight, frustrated, undersexed lesbian.
It was time to rock the boat.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
FAITH
Faith had just finished a session with the girls at the center and she was fumbling with Siddiq’s card. Her intentions were to throw the card away but she never did because there was something about him that intrigued her. She was definitely captivated by him.
I can’t believe he tried to run that friend line on me. Grown-ass women and men cannot just be friends.
Faith believed that and she also believed that when a man says let’s be friends that what he meant was he was willing to be a little more patient than the average man.
Maybe, just maybe, Siddiq would prove her wrong. She was willing to give him that chance.
Faith looked at the card and dialed his number.
“Hello? Siddiq Bradley speaking.”
Feeling flustered, Faith almost hung up. She felt like a teenager calling a boy she liked for the first time. “Siddiq?”
“Yes?” Of course, he had no idea who he was speaking with.
“This is Faith. I don’t know if you remember me, but we met the other night, at your house, your sister’s party.”
“I don’t need to be reminded of who you are. You’re my new friend.”
Faith laughed. “Oh, is that right?”
“As right as can be.”
“So how are you?” Faith asked.
“It’s all good. I’m shocked you called me. I didn’t think you would, I wrote it off as my loss.”
“Oh, so you wrote me off, huh?”
“Well, you were trying to give me the cold shoulder.”
He was right and Faith told him so. “I know, it’s just that I’m—”
“Married.” He paused before asking, “are you reminding me or yourself?”
“Both of us,” Faith told him.
Siddiq was impressed with her honesty. “So tell me, what kind of things do you like to do with friends?”
“Why? Is there something you would like to do?” Faith relaxed in her chair and propped her feet up on her desk.
“Is that a trick question?” Siddiq did not want to play himself and speculate that she was teasing him.
“No, it’s not.”
“It depends on the person I’ve befriended.”
Deciding to be adventurous, Faith asked, “Well, what are you doing this evening?”
“Are you asking me out?” Siddiq wanted to know.
“Maybe.”
“How about we do something different and spontaneous.”
“Like what?”
“Go to Seaside Heights.”
“The beach?” Faith asked.
“Yep.”
Faith hadn’t been to Seaside Heights in a long time, since Raheem’s kids moved out. She would take them there to get on rides and to play in the ocean and sand.
“I’d like that,” Faith told him.
“How are we going to do this? Are we going to meet somewhere and ride together or do you want to meet me there?”
Finding a parking spot in that area was difficult, finding two was going to be even more a challenge, so Faith told him, “Let’s ride together, we can meet at one of the rest stops on the Parkway and go from there.”
“I’m looking forward to it,” he told her.
“Yeah, me too.”
Together they picked a time and a spot.
“See you soon,” Faith told him.
Later that evening as Faith waited for him to pull up in the rest stop, she questioned her true motives. Was she really just trying to be friends or was she attempting to be more?
She spotted him right away. He told her he would be driving a white Lincoln Navigator. So when she saw one pull up, she climbed out of her car and started walking over to where he was parking.
Before he turned the engine off, she knocked on the driver’s window, causing him to jump. She could hear the music playing outside the truck and watched as he turned it down.
“Mmm, I see you like your music,” she teased.
“That I do,” he answered back while taking her in with his eyes. “Get in, beautiful.”
Faith walked over to the passenger’s side and climbed in. She put on her seat-belt, adjusted her seat, and leaned back.
Siddiq watched her every move. “Comfortable, are we?”
“Very.”
“All right, here we go.”
On the way to Seaside Heights, they talked about everything except her marriage and that was fine with Faith.
“Let me ask you something,” Faith began. “Do you really think a man and woman can just be friends?”
“Yeah, actually I do.”
“What about if they’re attracted to one another?”
Siddiq looked at her and asked, “Are you asking me that for a reason?”
She was but she wasn’t going to tell him that. “Let me ask you something else.”
“Go ahead.”
“When a man tells a woman I just want to be your friend, is that a slick way of getting the woman to sleep with you?”
“Maybe for some men, but not for me. I don’t play games like that. If I’m trying to sleep with a women I come right through the front door, I don’t hide my intentions.”
“Mmmm.” Faith wondered if he wanted to sleep with her.
“Also,” he went to say, “right now, I’m practicing celibacy.”
Faith leaned toward the door and looked at him with skepticism. “Yeah, right.”
“Why you say that?”
“Celibacy? Come on.”
“I speak only the truth. I’ve had enough sex to last me a lifetime. I’m looking for someone to love, honor, and cherish. I’m a Harlequin romance novel waiting to happen and if it means getting to know a female outside before knowing her insides, than so be it. Not to mention all the diseases that are spreading. You have to be extra careful with who you deal with.”
Faith knew just what he was saying. As much as she thought about it now, she didn’t really know how she would be able to handle dating. Maybe that’s why some people stayed married when they didn’t really want to because it was easier than being on the hunt for a mate.
That night they relived their younger years, got on rides, ate hot dogs and cotton candy, and laughed up a storm. They didn’t take their being together too serious. They just decided to take it for what it was, a good-ass time.
As the night came to an end, Faith wondered if he would try and kiss her. If he didn’t, she had to admit that she would be disappointed.
They were back at the spot where they met and were still sitting in the truck.
“So, did you have a nice time?” Siddiq asked.
“You have no idea,” Faith told him. “I had more fun with you these past couple of hours, than I had in years.”
“I did too,” he told her.
For a couple of seconds neither of them said a word, that is until Siddiq asked, “Am I going to see you again, or was this just a one time thing?”
Faith had already made up her mind that she would be seeing him again. “Yes, yes, you will.”
Siddiq turned in his seat to face her. She turned to face him.
“Are you nervous?” he asked.
“Yes.” Faith was honest.
“Why?”
Faith decided to be honest again. “Because I want to kiss my new friend.”
Siddiq leaned over so that their faces were almost touching. “Do you think that would be wise?”
Faith brushed her lips against his. “No.”
Before either of them could stop themselves, they started kissing.
Faith felt herself get moist within a matter of seconds and pulled away. “I guess being celibate doesn’t include kissing.”
“No, kissing is not included,” Siddiq told her.
“I have to go,” Faith said. “I’ll call you.”
“You do that,” Siddiq responded.
Siddiq watched her get into her car and pull off. As Faith drove home she thought about Siddiq and how connected she felt to him just from spending those couple of hours together.
She knew he was someone she could fall for, hard and fast.
I’m going to have to be careful with him.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
BELLA
She did it again. After all the praying, after asking for forgiveness, and after making deals with the Lord, Bella slept with James again.
What was it about him? Or was it really about him at all, maybe it was about Ramsey and how she felt after she left him at the restaurant last night.
Bella knew she should have went with her gut instinct and told Ramsey no when he asked her to meet with him. Ever since the 1:00 P.M. appointment they had at the church was cancelled due to a congregational emergency, he’d been calling and calling, begging to see her.
She’d already told him no numerous times, but he was tireless in his efforts. She knew if she kept saying no, he would show up at her church over and over until she said yes. She knew this because he told her he would.
She also knew before going that nothing good would come out of it. What could they possibly talk about? Why did he want to see her so bad? What did he think they were going to do, relive the past, talk about the old times? She knew that wasn’t going to happen, she wouldn’t allow it to.
Why go then? Because curiosity got the best of her. She wanted to hear what he had to say, she wanted to hear about what he’d been up to and she had to admit, she was curious about the old neighborhood and what happened after she left.
Bella didn’t want to meet him at the church because people showed up unexpectedly and she didn’t want to meet him at her house for the obvious reasons.
“Well, where do you want to meet?” he asked while wondering why she was making this so difficult.
“Let’s meet at your hotel restaurant.”
Bella still didn’t know how Ramsey ended up being in the same town as her, she did know he was staying at the Hilton in Eatontown because the few times he called that’s what showed up on the caller ID.
Bella must have changed her clothes over five times before she settled on a simple pair of cream linen pants that fit loosely and a cream short-sleeve body suit, with a pair of ankle-strapped heels to match. The look she was going for was casual, not overdone, not churchy, and definitely not old. She did want him to notice that she still had “it” and noticed he did because when she walked in the restaurant he whistled.
“I’m glad you finally said yes to seeing me.”
Standing here in front of him, outside the church environment, she admitted to herself that she was too. “It was obvious you weren’t going to stop asking to see me unless I said yes.”
Ramsey stood up, walked around to her side of the table, and pulled out her chair. She sat down.
Neither of them said a word, they just sat there looking at one another.
Finally Ramsey broke the silence. “Wow, life has really thrown us some curves, hasn’t it?”
Afraid to let her guard down, Bella said, “Yes, it has, but God is good, He can do all things.”
Ramsey knew she was being cautious and told her, “You don’t have to do that, Bella.”
“Do what?”
“Be the pastor. You can be yourself. Remember, I knew you when and you knew me when.”
“What do you mean ‘be the pastor?’ That’s who I am now.”
“Is it?”
Not wanting to be put on blast, Bella stood up. “I’m leaving. I didn’t come here to be insulted or questioned about my faith.”
Ramsey stood up. “Bella, please sit back down, I didn’t mean to offend you or hurt you. All I was trying to say is, you can be yourself, you can let your guard down, I’m not here to talk about what was, I’m not here to do you any harm, I just thought we could get together like old friends.”
Bella didn’t move nor did she say a word.
“Remember what we used to have, remember how we were with one another?”
She did and that was the problem, when she saw him walk into her church, all sort’s of emotions ran through her. She used to love this man standing in front of her and she believed he loved her too but their pasts, him being a drug dealer and her a hooker, didn’t mix.
Bella sat down.
Ramsey sat down too. “So?”
“So?” Bella repeated. “What are you doing here?”
“I sort of do what you do,” he told her.
“How is that? Are you a minister?”
Ramsey laughed. “No, but I do help people change their lives.”
“Really? How?”
“I’ve started an organization called Changing Courses and Directions, where I speak to young men and women who are about to be released from prison and back into mainstream society.”
“Wow, I’m impressed.” Bella was sure he was excellent at what he was doing because even as a drug dealer, he had a way with the kids in the community. If it wasn’t for the money that kept him in the game, she used to wonder if he’d be doing something else.
“What ever happened to Rock?”
“What do you think happened?”
“Is he in prison?”
“No, he’s dead.”
This didn’t surprise Bella because killers often get killed. She had to ask, “Did Rock kill Leon?”
“Yeah, he did.”
“Why didn’t you tell me when I asked you before?”
“Because at the time I wasn’t sure, but later he bragged on it.”
There was nothing Bella could say other than, “Isn’t that something?”
“Yeah, and ultimately that’s what got Rock killed, him bragging on his conquests.”
“Is that what made you change your life?”
“That and a few other things, but I will say Rock’s getting killed made me realize that other than always having dough, he is also what kept me in the game, he was my boy and he saved my life a couple of times.” Ramsey reached across the table and lightly caressed Bella’s face. “I was feeling you, Bella, more than I was anyone back then. It’s just you know how we both were living.”
“Yeah, I know,” Bella responded.
“I didn’t realize how much I missed you until I saw you standing in that pulpit,” Ramsey said.
Bella wanted to jump across the table and tongue him down but she knew she had to control this instinct and from that point on Bella was uncomfortable because sitting across from Ramsey made her realize that the inner struggle she was currently enduring wasn’t going anywhere any time soon, no matter how much she prayed. Is that what being a pastor meant, that you have to give up on the possibilities?
On one hand, she was content with the direction her life was going in but on the other hand, she missed the freedom of possibilities. The possibility of a relationship without rules and the possibility of not being held to a higher standard, being able to mess up and it be all right.
When Bella and Ramsey ended their meal, it was obvious th
ey both wanted to take it further but knew it wasn’t an option.
They departed with the promise of seeing each other again.
That night when Bella arrived home, there were flowers at her door. Who could have sent these? she wondered.
She unlocked her door, put her purse down, bent over, picked up the flowers, and pulled the card out of the center of the arrangement. The flowers were from James. She closed the door behind her and read the card. Here’s to our night of passion, it read.
He can’t be doing things like this. Bella knew she was going to have to put an end to any ideas James had about them having a relationship. It wasn’t going to happen, especially with Ramsey in town.
She wanted to see him on more than a “let’s catch up” level. She came to this conclusion in the middle of their conversation. She liked him and enjoyed his company way back when and she enjoyed his company now.
As Bella headed toward her bedroom, there was a knock on the door.
Who could that be? Bella didn’t even bother to ask who it was, she just opened the door. It was James.
“What are you doing here?” Bella asked. His just showing up at her door, uninvited, and as though he knew she’d just arrived home, unnerved her.
“I just wanted to make sure you got the flowers.”
Bella couldn’t believe he was actually standing here in front of her like it was kosher for him to pop up, like he was her man.
“What I’m asking is, what are you doing popping up uninvited?”
“I wanted to check on you. I called the church, I called your home phone and your cell, there was no answer anywhere, I was getting worried.”
Bella didn’t know what to say. She started wondering if James was crazy. She looked into his eyes and tried to read what was there. Hell, some of her johns back in the day were maniacs and had stalker tendencies. She hoped she would be able to tell if something wasn’t right in the head with James.
She determined there wasn’t and knowing they needed to have a serious talk, she opened her door wider, moved to the side, and told him to “ome in.”
Sister Girls 2 Page 18