The Hardest Part

by London, Heather

  "I talked to her this morning," he answered. "She was spending the day with Brandon."

  I raised my eyes and looked across the table, watching him watch me.

  "Brandon's a good guy. I think he really cares for Lexi," I said, knowing I was just talking to fill the silence.

  He nodded. "I could see that last night. It's great to see her happy again."

  There was a long pause as we stood there, standing on opposite ends of the conference table, giving each other a stare down. What is this? What is he really doing here?

  "Would you join me for dinner?" he asked bluntly, totally catching me off guard and answering my unspoken questions.

  His gaze held mine and I tried to find the strength to look away but couldn't.

  "I'm not sure that's the best idea," I replied.

  "And why is that?" A curious expression crossed his face and then a tiny smile appeared.

  My heart skipped a beat and then began to hammer hard against my chest. "Um, I'm not sure Sharon would like it very much. I'm planning the Black and White event, for one thing. I don't think it's very professional." I could give him a hundred other reasons, mainly on how I wasn't interested in getting involved with anyone right now because I’d just got out of a really complicated relationship. That I was trying to keep a low profile so the man I was running from wouldn't find me.

  He looked up toward the ceiling, seemingly deep in thought. "What if we called it a business dinner? You can update me on your progress."

  I couldn't help wondering why he wanted to go out with me anyway. He could’ve had any girl in New York.

  "We just started working on the event this morning. We don't have much to give you yet, but we should have more information early next week. Maybe we can schedule a meeting then," I said, hoping to come off as professional.

  He started walking back around the table toward me. "Well, I'm not interested in scheduling a meeting. It's fine if you don't have much to give me yet. I'd love to hear about it anyway."

  "Mr. Alexander, I still don't—"

  "Please call me Reed, and it's just dinner, Emily. You have to eat, right?" A smile appeared on his face again, showing me how weak I really was for it.

  I exhaled loudly, knowing I was going to regret this. "Okay, just dinner."

  He was clearly pleased with himself as he made his way toward me. "I'll make the arrangements. I have a car waiting outside now. I can give you a ride."

  "Can I meet you there? I'm not sure how it would look if we left together." Am I really doing this? If I was trying to keep Isabel and Christine from seeing us, it couldn't be right. This was a bad decision. Really bad.

  "I understand. I'll text you the restaurant." He began to make his way toward the door as I stood there waiting. I wasn’t even sure for what.

  "Wait, you don't even have my number." I stopped him as his hand landed on the door handle.

  "Sharon gave me your contact information yesterday." He dazzled me with a smile again, then walked out. When he was out of sight, I leaned against the chair, wondering what the hell just happened.

  After gathering my thoughts, I walked down the hall and saw Christine leaning against Isabel's desk, both of them watching the front door. I was more than positive they were watching as Reed walked out of it.

  Christine spotted me and waved me over. Not knowing why, I obliged.

  "What was that about?" she asked, her eyes wide. She and Isabel were practically frothing at the mouth as they waited for an explanation.

  I shrugged innocently. "Nothing. Reed just wanted an update on the event."

  Christine narrowed her eyes on me, like she knew I was hiding something. "Why didn't he just call?"

  I shrugged again. This was all going to blow in up my face, I just knew it.

  "Why did he want to talk to you in private, then? We're both working on this event."

  "God, seriously, that man is so freaking hot." Isabel leaned her head against her hand and gazed out the door. I was thankful for her distraction.

  I could still feel Christine's glare on me as I made my way back to our office. When I got back to my desk and pulled out my purse, I saw that Reed had already texted me.

  Palm Restaurant - 8:00 p.m.

  I knew it wasn't smart. I knew I shouldn't be feeling this way, but I couldn't help the anticipation and excitement building in my chest, knowing I was going to see him again. There was another part of me that wondered what the hell I was doing. What I was doing was selfish and foolish. I really needed to get my head examined.

  WHEN I arrived at the restaurant and told the hostess whom I was meeting, she informed me that he was already here but had to step out and take a business call. Instead of sitting at the table, I took a seat at the bar to wait for him.

  "Well, it must be my lucky week. Twice in one week." Ben, the bartender from last night, was standing in front of me.

  "Hi." I smiled nervously. It was just so strange to see him here, in a different restaurant from last night. "You work here, too?"

  He laughed. "Yeah, I actually have three jobs. As I'm sure you know, rent in New York is not cheap. I do what I have to." He shrugged. "What about you? How do you afford going out to nice dinners twice in one week? I know Christine makes good money, but I didn't think it was that good."

  Unease filled me. Just him mentioning Christine's name sent a shiver through me. The last thing I wanted was for her to find out about this dinner.

  "Last night was friends and tonight's a business dinner," I clarified.

  "Ah, I see." His eyes rose to something, or someone, behind me. "Mr. Alexander, what can I get for you?"

  I could instantly feel his presence behind me.

  "I'm fine," he answered. "Emily, I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. Are you ready for dinner?"

  Oh no. This is not good. From the look on Ben's face, I feared Christine would know all about this before dinner was over.

  "Yes." I gave Ben a smile before turning around to face Reed. As I stood up, Reed's hand landed on the small of my back and stayed there as I followed the hostess to the table. Not wanting Ben to see it and get the wrong impression, I took a few steps away from his reach.

  "Is everything okay, Emily?" Reed asked when we were seated.

  "I'm fine." I swallowed deeply.

  "Well, I'll let you in on a little secret." He smiled playfully. "I'm sure it will help you relax a little, too."

  My stomach twisted and my mouth went dry. "What's that?"

  "This feels a little strange for me, too."

  Um, no, actually that makes me feel worse.

  "I knew I wanted to see you again." He continued. "It's just been a while since I’ve asked anyone out to dinner, but you're very important to Lexi and she's very important to me, so in a way, that makes you very important to me, too." He looked at me with a serious expression. "I just wanted to get to know you a little better. That's all."

  I relaxed a little. After hearing what Lexi had been through, I guess I could understand his concern for anyone who was close with her. "You're very protective over her, aren't you?" I asked.

  "If I answered that honestly, I'd say that was a huge understatement. Lexi's all the family I have left. She means a lot to me."

  "She's been doing really well in class. She's stronger than you think. You should come see her in action one night. I think you'd be surprised."

  He smiled. "I may do that."

  "So where are you from?" he asked. Instantly, I felt my blood run cold. It must have shown on my face because he quickly followed up with, "You don't have to tell me. I was just trying to get to know you."

  "I just don't talk about my past very much."

  "That's fine. We all have our secrets." He smiled softly and then glanced at the menu.

  I spent the rest of dinner going over the ideas that Christine and I had come up with for the event. He seemed excited about the botanical garden idea and agreed that Lexi would love it.

  "It sounds like you two ha
ve done quite a bit in just one day. I'm impressed."

  "Well, we still haven't booked anything yet. Hopefully I'll get some callbacks tomorrow."

  The waiter came and placed the bill down on the table. I reached over to grab my wallet.

  "My treat, Emily," Reed said. "It's a business dinner after all."

  "I prefer to pay for my own dinner."

  "Please, I insist." He handed his card to the waiter.

  I glanced up to the waiter and handed him my card as well. "Thank you, but I really prefer to pay for my own dinner."

  "When Lexi said you were different, she wasn't kidding." He sat back in his chair, examining me.

  "Lexi talked about me?" I swallowed hard, wondering what she could've said.

  "Just a little." He shrugged, as if it were nothing. "When Lexi told me we should hire you and your company for the event, I wanted to know a little bit about you and make sure you could handle the job. This charity event is very important to me."

  "I know it is and we’re working hard to make sure it’s perfect." I assured him.

  "I have no doubt it will be." He sat back in his chair with a crazy sexy grin on his face, assessing me while igniting feelings in me that I hadn't felt in years. Feelings that I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel again. I found myself wanting to be close to him, wanting to be touched by him. My stomach clenched and I blew out a deep breath, trying to shake the thoughts of how his hands would feel against my bare skin. It had been years since I’d wanted a man to touch me. Every time Jake would come anywhere near me, my whole body would tighten with fear and disgust.

  I couldn’t help but feel a tug-of-war going on inside of me. I loved the way Reed was making me feel, loved that without even knowing it, he was showing me that I could feel this way again. After Jake, I wasn’t sure I’d ever meet someone that could give me those butterfly feelings again. Or that could make my heart beat so hard it felt like it would burst out of my chest. But even though I was happy that I was still capable of feeling those things, I knew that nothing could ever happen between us. That out of all people, he was not the right person to be with.

  "Can I give you a ride home?" he asked, snapping me out of my reverie.

  I should've told him no. "Sure."

  The moment we stepped outside, I saw a car running, waiting on the curb. I took a couple steps from the restaurant and bright flashes came out of nowhere and then they were everywhere. My hands flew up to guard the bright lights from blinding me. With each flash, there were also shouts.

  "Emily, are you and Reed Alexander an item?"

  "Emily, over here."

  "Emily, can you tell us any details on the Black and White event?"

  "Emily, look right here."

  I felt arms wrap around me, pulling me into something hard and solid. My feet were no longer on the ground. Everything happened so fast I barely had time to process it when I heard Reed's voice loud at my ear.

  "I've got you. Just keep your head down." The strong arms wrapped around me tighter as the yelling and flashes continued.

  What the hell is going on?

  A few more steps and then I felt myself being placed inside the car. Reed climbed in quickly after me.

  "Let's go!" Reed yelled at the driver, and then the car lurched forward.

  My breaths were coming heavy and fast, as I was trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

  THE CAR sped away from the restaurant as I sat in the backseat trying to catch my breath. Reed was already on his phone, looking over at me with wary eyes.

  "Robbins, I need you to meet me at my place." He spoke firmly, keeping his eyes on me, watching carefully. "I just walked out of a restaurant and a swarm of paparazzi and reporters were out there waiting for me and Emily. I thought I was done with this shit." He closed his eyes to hide his frustration. When he opened them back up, he was again looking at me with something new in his eyes—sympathy and pity.

  He ended the call and put the phone down before scooting across the seat, coming closer to me, slow and cautious. My face must have said it all. Even I could feel the fear and confusion all over it.

  "Are you okay?" he asked.

  He was still a few inches away, but he was close enough that I could feel the heat of his body and smell the scent of his cologne. I could still feel his arms around me. I could still smell him on me.

  "I'm fine," I mumbled, feeling my heart beating wildly in my chest. I didn’t know if it was still going crazy from what had happened back there, the feeling of his arms around me, or from his close proximity right now. Maybe a mixture of all three.

  Quickly, I looked away, not expecting the rush of heat to my cheeks or the pain in my chest. I blew out a large breath and tried to focus on what had just happened: the flashes, the yelling, the pictures, Reed mentioning the paparazzi and reporters. Then it all fell into place and the realization sent my heart into my throat. They were all taking pictures of me. Pictures that could be published in magazines and newspapers. Pictures that could get back to Jake. He could figure out my new name. Where I was living.

  "Emily, you don't look so well," Reed said. I turned toward him. He scanned my face, which I was sure was white as a ghost right now.

  "Um." I forced down my panic. I didn't want to lose it in front of Reed. I just wanted to go home. "I'm fine." I shook my head and tried to empty the negative thoughts, at least for a few more minutes anyway. Maybe they just wanted pictures of Reed, and I had nothing to worry about. Maybe they didn't get a good picture of me. Maybe Jake wouldn't even see it. Even if they did happen to get a shot, there was a good chance they wouldn't print it. I was a nobody. "I just really need to get home," I said, shifting away from him.

  "Are you sure? That had to have freaked you out, considering…" His voice trailed off.

  "Considering what?"

  He sat back, clearly regretting what he just said.

  "Considering what?" I asked again, this time my voice held some annoyance and anger. I didn't want him assuming anything about me.

  "Nothing. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I just know where you and Lexi met, but she didn't tell me anything. My assumptions are my own."

  Of course Lexi didn't tell him anything. She didn't know anything about me.

  We stared at each other for a long second before Reed's phone rang, making me jump. He held the phone to his ear, staring at me with the same serious yet regretful expression.

  "Peters," he said, never taking his eyes off me. "Yes, I know." He paused and listened. Then he pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and bit down, clearly angry about something. "Dammit. I'll head there now. They were waiting for us outside a restaurant, too. Would you call Robbins and have him meet me at the back of Lexi's building? Yes. Thank you, Peters." He set the phone back down on the seat and let out a long, steady breath, not saying anything for a few seconds.

  "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. It's none of my business," he finally said.

  "It's fine." I sensed a change in him. The phone call he just received clearly upset him. He wouldn't look me in the eye and he was tapping his fingers nervously against his bouncing leg.

  "What was the phone call about?" I asked, knowing it was none of my business. I couldn't help but be curious when he mentioned Lexi's name.

  "It's Lexi." His voice broke on her name and he had to clear his throat. "The press swarmed her outside her apartment, asking questions, talking about the attack, saying horrible things. I guess trying to get her talking. It scared the shit out of her and now she won't come out of her bathroom. I'm headed over there after I drop you off."

  "Oh my God." I shook my head. "Why can't they just leave her alone? She's been through so much already." My heart ached for her. I couldn't imagine how scared she must have been. "I want to come with you."

  His head turned to the side and his eyes locked with mine. "You don't have to, Emily. I can take care of my sister."

  "She's my friend. I want to be there for her."


  He and the driver exchanged a brief look and then the car pulled into the right lane, turned around, and headed back toward the Upper East Side.

  "This is the reason I left the city, the reason I stayed away for so long," he stated, staring out the window. "I left because I wasn't strong enough to deal with what happened. It hurt too much to look at Lexi and know what she’d gone through. To know that I wasn't there to save her and my parents." He raked his hand through his hair and then down his face. "Do you think I'm a horrible person for leaving her all alone?"

  My stomach twisted and my heart squeezed. What am I supposed to say to that? It’s difficult to judge someone’s actions unless you’ve been in their shoes, and even then, it’s still pretty difficult. To be honest, if it were me, I probably would’ve run, too.

  "Hey." Without thinking about it, I reached out and grabbed his shoulder. I just wanted to do something to comfort him. The pain was clear on his face and in his voice. "She's going to be okay." I consoled him. "She's strong. She'll get through this."

  He looked at my hand and then up at me through hooded eyes. By the look on his face, he was feeling what I was feeling—the connection between us. My heart ached as I knew there was something there. I had felt it the last time I’d touched him or when we were within a few feet of one another. Our pasts were so different and yet we were both running from them. Reed was trying to get away from the guilt and agony over what happened to his parents and Lexi. I was running from fear and pain, trying to start over. I wanted to help him. I wanted to do whatever was in my power to erase any pain or guilt he was feeling. But I knew what that meant. In order for him to let me in and tell me his feelings, it meant I had to let him in and tell him everything about myself. But I wasn’t quite ready for that… I wasn’t sure I’d ever be.

  Taking my hand away slowly, I sat back in my seat. I knew touching him last night was going too far and here I was doing it again. Even if I wanted to get to know him better, I knew things could never work between us. His life was too public, surrounded by reporters and paparazzi. Those were the last two things I needed in my life. Those two things didn't match up with the low profile I was trying to keep. I was starting to wonder if maybe working the Black and White event was a mistake, too.