Crushing Summer

by C. M. Stunich

  “It doesn't matter,” I said, squeezing her hand. She jerked it away from me suddenly, her eyes watering dangerously close to tears. The room felt so dark and stifling, even though both the windows were open. Emotion was settling thick over everything, making it hard to breathe. There was so much pain in here and I didn't know why.

  “It does matter,” she said, her lips trembling. “It matters because she gave her life to get you this information.” I just froze there, staring. From the corner of my eye, I saw Casper peek his head around the doorframe.

  “Who?” I asked, expecting to hear that infamous name again. Tatiana. But it wasn't that at all. It was worse. Much worse.

  “My daughter.”

  My mouth was so dry I could hardly form the words. I felt like I was trying to speak through a mouthful of sand.

  “Your daughter?” I croaked.

  “I was three months pregnant, Chloe,” Heidi said and I swear, time stopped right then. Just froze like crystals around me, locking me into the moment, clogging my brain with information I had to know but didn't want to be true. “When I got hit with the car, I was pregnant.” She smiled and her lips were so tight they looked like they could snap right off of her face. “Not anymore.”

  “I … ”

  “That's why you're going to shut up and listen. She – or he – died to give you this information, so it's pretty friggin' important, alright?” I stared into her turquoise eyes and had no idea what to say. It was a lot to take in. My fingers curled in the blanket as I resisted the urge to reach out and hug her. I was going to do it anyway, whether she liked it or not, but first I was going to let her talk.

  “There's a Committee, okay? Nobody knows about it except for the King, Queen Bee, and the people that are actually on it. They pick all the titles for The Assignment every year, and then the King and Queen pick their successors. Nobody on the Committee can actually get a title except for them. Now, I don't know why they picked you.” She paused and took a deep breath, trying to smile through the pain. “Not that you're not hot or anything, but I mean, I just don't know why you specifically. All I know is that Justin was a part of it.”

  “Julie?” I asked, thinking of Casper's little sister. She wasn't a part of this town, so there was no way anyone was holding a grudge against her. “How did she get caught up in all of this?” Heidi leaned forward and frowned.

  “Is that emo boy out there?” she asked, and I nodded. With a sigh, she waved her hand around and Casper stepped into the room, arms crossed over his chest.

  “I'm sorry about your daughter,” he said, making me feel like an idiot for not saying it first. Heidi ignored him and focused on my face.

  “Shayla saw her at the beach that day in Sea Ridge. Casper was in her parking spot.”

  “What?” he asked, taking a rapid step forward. Heidi glared at him and he stopped. “Are you freaking kidding me?”

  “Shayla asked her to move the car and she said she didn't have a license and that you were busy. I guess she also called her a loblolly and a blatherskite. Or so the story goes, from Justin to me.” Heidi shrugged. “Whatever that means.”

  “My sister's getting stalked, beaten to a pulp because of a parking space? All of that cruelty for nothing?” Heidi shook her head and reached up a hand to rub at her forehead.

  “Cruel leader, cruel pack,” Heidi said. There was a long, drawn out moment of silence. The song played all the way through before anyone was willing to interrupt it. “And you better stay away from Cage, Chloe. You're Crush. That's bad news for you.”

  “What did Cage do?” I asked, feeling defensive even though I didn't know why. “He saw Justin's car on Sea Ridge the night Tatiana died. We saw it the night you got hit. Justin tried to kill you like he did Tatiana.” My voice was getting hysterical as pieces slid into place and the truth lit up like a lightbulb in a dark room.

  “Justin didn't kill Tatiana,” Heidi said to me, voice strong and clear. This wasn't just her trying to protect him. She actually sounded like she knew what she was talking about.

  “If Justin didn't kill Tatiana, who did?” Casper asked for me. Heidi looked up at him, calm as a bright summer day.

  “Shayla did.”

  Heidi's mom kicked me and Casper out when she got home and saw the emotional state Heidi was in. I didn't bother telling her it was Justin's fault and not ours; she probably already knew that. And she asked us not to tell anyone about Heidi's pregnancy, not that I would, but it wasn't 1952 or anything. The way her mother was acting, you'd think she'd committed the ultimate sin.

  “Excuse me while I have one last cigarette,” Casper said, lighting up as we sat on the curb outside Heidi's house. “I think the occasion sort of calls for it.” He dove into the glove apartment of his car and came back with a lighter in one hand and a half-smoked cigarette in the other. When he sat down next to me, I didn't protest.

  “We have Justin,” I began and Casper nodded. “We have two pregnant girlfriends.” Another nod. “Cage.” A grimace that time. “Shayla.” Casper inhaled deep and held the smoke in his lungs. “And we have The Assignment. Does that about sum it up?”

  “From what I can tell,” he said as I buried my face in my hands and tried to connect the dots.

  The Committee picked titles. Fine. I got that. It made more sense anyway with the way things had turned out. The only thing I couldn't figure out was why me? Did Cage pick me because he thought I knew about Tatiana's pregnancy? A lot of what I knew rested on him and if he was telling the truth.

  “I have to find Cage,” I told Casper as he exhaled and looked at me like I was a crazy person. “He said he'd meet me tomorrow before the concert, but I can't wait that long.” Casper's hand came out and rested on my knee, fingers squeezing gently.

  “Chloe, you just learned a lot of crazy stuff. Your girlfriend just lost her baby. That's a lot to take in. And you're tired. Go home, go to bed, sleep it off. Tomorrow you can talk to Cage, and I'll go with you.” He took another drag on his cigarette, looked down at it like it was poison and then just tossed it into the street. White curls of smoke drifted lazily in the hot air. “I have no idea what concert it is you're talking about, but Julie will be back. She'll probably want to go.” He didn't look all that happy about it.

  I wrinkled my face up and tried not to feel sick.

  “It's a memorial concert for Tatiana,” I said as Casper raised his eyebrows at me. “At Sea Ridge. A bunch of local bands are getting together to celebrate her life.” The thought of going to that concert actually scared the crap out of me. All of my peers gathered together, packed tight in front of the stage, with loud, aggressive music firing them up? Thanks, but no thanks. It was a recipe for disaster. I wouldn't take Julie there if someone paid me to. “I have no interest in going, especially if Heidi's right and … ” I could hardly force my lips to form the words. “Shayla really did kill her.” My voice came out as a whisper. Heidi claimed that Justin had told her about Shayla. That she'd actually confessed to him that she'd accidentally pushed Tatiana off the edge of Sea Ridge Point. Why she'd tell Justin anything or how easy it was to 'accidentally' knock someone off, were questions for later. “Can you imagine dancing a few feet away from a girl who killed her classmate? And why? Why would she do it?” Heidi was certain Cage was involved, but she didn't have anything to back that up. She was, however, thoroughly convinced that I was in danger if I spent anymore time around him. Considering the way Shayla had looked at me when I was with Cage, I didn't doubt that at the very least, she'd use my title of Crush to make life a living hell. Just like she did at the party.

  Was this just a simple case of jealousy gone wrong?

  “Ugh,” I groaned, squeezing my head between my hands. I didn't want to believe that was true, but then, Heidi had just told me that Shayla picked Julie because of a parking space. A space that didn't even really belong to her. Why hadn't Cage stopped her, I wondered. And then I remembered his words from before. I had no idea the girl was terminally ill when Sh
ayla made the announcement. If I'd known, I would've called it off. There might be more meaning to that then I'd originally thought. “You're right. I need to sleep. This is … it's a lot. I'd go to the police if I thought it would help.” Observations don't win cases.

  “Secrets don't make friends, that's for sure,” Casper said, rising to his feet and holding out a hand. I took it, enjoying the way my fingers curled around his tattoo. “I'm sure after some sleep, this'll all make a hell of a lot more sense.” I smiled at him, but behind my expression there was a horrible, niggling feeling that when everything did come together, I was going to be sorely disappointed in the people around me.

  When Casper dropped me off, I rushed inside to find my parents staring at me with curious expressions. Curious. But not angry. Curious. But not frightened. It wasn't like I wanted to get ragged on by Mom and Dad, but there was something about the way they both clutched their coffee cups, like they wanted to scream at me but couldn't. The Assignment was changing everyone and everything. The whole world was a fake.

  “I didn't sleep with anybody,” I told them point blank, but neither responded right away. After a moment, my mother sipped her coffee and nodded.

  “Good to know.” I waited with my hand on the doorknob to my bedroom, waiting to be dismissed. “Why don't you get some sleep? Heidi's mom called earlier and … explained things. She's going to need your support in the next few weeks.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” I said, and then trudged down the stairs to my room. To my credit, I actually managed to change clothes and crawl under the covers before falling asleep. Wish I could say I had pleasant dreams, but that would be a lie.

  Sometime later, when I woke up, I found my sister sitting on the edge of my bed, eyes glittering.

  “How long have you been sitting there?” I croaked out, my face pressed into the pillow. It was a little wet with drool, I'll admit. Kaitlyn brushed some of her brown curls back from her face and leaned in to whisper.

  “Cage Lawrence is upstairs waiting for you.”

  My eyes snapped open as Kaitlyn started to laugh. I threw off the covers, snatching my phone as I went and checking the time. It was five in the freaking evening. Way to sleep the day away, Chloe, I chastised myself as I dialed up Heidi. Now that I knew what had happened, I was going to be calling her obsessively for awhile, just to check in.

  “I'm fine. Please don't ask. And send me pictures from the concert. Terre Haute's going to be there and they're my absolutely favorite band.”

  “I love you, you know that, right?” I said, and I could just picture her rolling her eyes.

  “Duh. I always knew you swung both ways, remember?” I tried to smile, but I could still hear the hint of tears in her voice. Whoever had hit her with that car was going to pay as soon as I had solid proof. My money was still on Justin for that one. In fact, my money was still sort of on him for everything. It made a lot more sense for a teenage guy to try to get out of being a teen dad than it did for someone to kill their peer over a little jealousy problem. But that was what I was going to set out to do today. That was my mission.

  “You're like a vampire or something now, sleeping all day, staying out all night. I always knew you were weird. Did that guy with the tattoo bite you or something?”

  “Kaitlyn,” I said, before I'd even hung up with Heidi. “Get the hell out of my room.”

  “Poke her between the eyes for me,” Heidi said. “Kisses.” And then she hung up.

  I set the phone on my vanity and moved over to the bag of clothes I'd purchased with Cage. I hadn't gotten the chance to hang them up yet, but I couldn't imagine wearing anything else. The sundresses in my armoire just felt so stifling. I didn't have time to alter any of them anyway.

  “What should I tell boyfriend number two?” Kaitlyn asked on her way up the stairs. “That you were out until sun up with boyfriend number one? Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you just came home with boyfriend number one. You are Crush, right? Maybe you have a hundred boyfriends.”

  “Are you twelve or six?” I asked her as I dug out a red shirt with cut outs on the shoulders. I'd pair this with some black skinny jeans and purple ankle boots. I wanted to look good, but I also wanted to be able to run for my life if I had to. How sad is that? “Your immaturity never ceases to amaze me.”

  “When I'm Crush,” my sister began, putting her hand over her heart. “I'll have at least two.” She paused for dramatic effect. “Hundred that is.” I ignored her. “Boyfriends that is.”

  “Good for you,” I said, stepping into the bathroom and closing the door. I still couldn't believe how lucky I was that Kaitlyn was too young for The Assignment. It was such a cruel game. I thought of that girl in 1999 again – still hadn't gotten her name – and how tragic her death had been. Did I think it had anything to do with Tatiana? No. But it was proof that this stupid event changed people. It changed them and it did damage that could never be erased, no matter how hard we all swore that it would be. Once something is out there, really out there, you can't take it back. You can apologize for it, try to make up for it, but you can't retract it. There will always be the stain of that memory floating around in the universe somewhere.

  I slipped on my clothes, added some silver bracelets and earrings, and put on more makeup than I had in awhile. I didn't know where Cage and I were going, or if we were going anywhere, but I knew that at some point, I was going to see Casper. I felt a little surge of guilt for Cage, especially if he was being genuine. I liked him, I really did. But somehow, in the last week, my mind had switched from exploring all possibilities to wanting to explore only Casper. Was it the way he stood up for his sister or the fact that he had her name tattooed on his arm? Was it because we had some kind of crazy chemistry? Maybe it was just because he had eyes the color of emeralds, I don't know. But I didn't just like him … I was fascinated by him. Cage was great, but my skin didn't light on fire when he touched me. My mind didn't spark like dry tinder when his mouth pressed against mine.

  I fiddled with my outfit for another couple of minutes before heading upstairs.

  Cage was waiting for me on one of the barstools at the kitchen counter. He was gorgeous, as usual, dressed in a charcoal gray sweater and perfectly pressed blue jeans. He had on black sneakers and a gold watch. Walking magazine ad anyone? My sister stood across from him, drooling.

  “Hey,” I said, and he turned to me with a small smile. Guess neither of us was willing to pretend we didn't have anything to talk about. I felt a pang of loss for the time we shared at the Trashes to Treasures expo. I didn't want to lose that anymore than I wanted to stop singing karaoke at Heidi's house on soggy Saturday nights. Cage was fun to be with. Like Heidi. My smile felt a little more real, tugging at the corners of my lips.

  “What?” he asked, touching his hand to his sweater. “Do I have something on me?” He checked himself for stains and then glanced up, gray eyes heavy with unwanted weight. Something was up with him, and it wasn't just the conversation with me. There was more to it than that.

  “I was just thinking,” I told him, sucking in a big breath and checking my pant pockets to make sure I'd grabbed my phone. “That you're a good friend.” A friend. Cage was a friend. I liked him as a friend. Seemed like a stupid revelation, but it made me happy. It helped me sort out my emotions.

  He smiled back at me.

  “Thank you,” he said, rising to his feet. “That's nice of you to say.”

  “Marry me?” Kaitlyn asked and then grinned. “I mean her. You can be my brother-in-law, and when I turn sixteen, we can have a steamy affair.”

  “Have you been reading romance novels again?” I asked. Last year, my sister had consumed over a dozen steamy erotica books on my mother's Kindle before she'd been caught and lectured. Not about reading erotica, believe it or not, but for using the credit card without permission. My mom said books were books, and if we censored them, we were underscoring freedom. That was fine and all, but Kaitlyn liked to bring up strange plot points sometimes. She just s
hrugged in response to my question and turned away, attention span spent.

  “Ready to go?” Cage asked and I nodded. I didn't know where we were going exactly, but I was ready. I wanted to get the truth tonight. I felt like it was this close, just waiting for me to reach out and grab it.

  Cage and I climbed into his car in silence, pulling down the driveway and into the street before either of us spoke.

  “Where are we going?” I asked him, studying his strong features, his full lips. He had a perfect profile, limned in sunlight. He was definitely gorgeous, but was he worth killing over? I nibbled at my lip in thought.

  “Well,” he began, hands tightening around the steering wheel. “The concert doesn't start for another couple of hours. I thought, if you were cool with it, that we could go to dinner at Smart Start Brewery?”

  “Sounds good to me,” I said, thinking of the old building next to Cage's parents' shop. It had two floors and was covered from floor to roof in weird papier-mâché animals. There was even a giant spider attached to the front doors. Open them and it went up; close them and it dropped straight down at your face. I couldn't count the number of times people had flipped out over it. Surreptitiously, I dug my hand into my pocket and checked my phone. Casper had promised to shoot me a message when his parents got home with Julie. He told me he wanted to help talk to Cage, but I didn't think that was such a good idea. I'd go to dinner, find out what I could, and meet him and Julie somewhere else, somewhere safer than the Tatiana Marcham Memorial Concert.

  There weren't any texts yet, so I put the phone back in my pocket.

  “The Committee,” Cage began, leaping into the subject a lot faster than I'd expected. I guess he was ready to tackle it head on. “Isn't something we're supposed to talk about. It's … it's like telling children there is no Santa Claus or something. People have to think they have a voice or they won't participate in The Assignment.” I wanted to start a debate on why we should even have it in the first place, but I didn't think it was the right time.