Goblin Slayer, Vol. 1

by Kumo Kagyu

  “He’s in a town two or three days’ travel in the direction of the western border.”

  “Is that right?” the figure breathed, and with a nod, the hood of the cloak fell back.

  Her supple body was clad in hunter’s garb. A huge bow was slung across her back. She was slender and gorgeous.

  The bard couldn’t help staring—and not just because of her beauty.

  He was struck by her long, leaf-shaped ears.

  “Orcbolg…,” she said, the sound melodious but strange. An elf adventurer.

  Yes, hello. Welcome to the Adventurers Guild! Filing a quest? Then, please…

  Wh-what? An interview? Um…is this official? You’re sure it’s all right? Phew.

  Ahem.

  The Adventurers Guild; hee-hee, I know what you’re thinking. It’s weird to have an employment agency for a bunch of ruffians.

  In reality, back at the very beginning, the Guild wasn’t a guild—it was just a tavern where adventurers met. The King of Time established it to support those heroes—the people who would later be Platinum-ranked adventurers. But these days it’s a real office! I passed an official examination and everything to become a receptionist, you know?

  Professional women…hee-hee, my colleagues are all talented women, too, so I don’t want to brag. But I was very lucky to get this job.

  Adventurers work hard to gain the public’s trust, because trust translates into better work. Our valued quest givers judge your abilities by your rank, and you’re never shorted on payment.

  And then, you know, there’s—You’ve heard about this, right?

  You get those traveling bullies who come in saying, “I’ve been granted a legendary weapon!” or “The gods themselves protect me!” They’re really very difficult. They have no records, and we can’t recommend our customers rely on people who go around doing whatever they want. It’s not like we can just look at a sheet of convenient numbers and know how strong these vagabonds are.

  That’s why the Guild has established three bases on which to evaluate its members. Namely, how much good they’ve done in the world, the aggregate value of the rewards they’ve earned, and personality evaluations conducted via face-to-face interviews. Some refer to the collective result as “experience points.”

  This is what our rank structure looks like, with one being the highest and ten the lowest.

  1. Platinum. This is extremely rare. Only a few people in history have attained this rank. Better not even think about it.

  2. Gold

  3. Silver

  4. Copper. These ranks constitute our most talented members, as based on their abilities and the degree of trust they’ve earned. They’re really something!

  5. Ruby

  6. Emerald

  7. Sapphire. These are the middle ranks. Not many reach them these days.

  8. Steel

  9. Obsidian

  10. Porcelain. These are our rookies. It’s when they get comfortable that they’re in the most danger.

  You can see there are distinct lower, middle, and upper tiers. Call it a measuring stick.

  What? Are there cases where a quest is ultimately never accepted? Well, I can’t…say that there aren’t…

  It happens most often with goblin-slaying quests. There are so many of them, and the quest givers are often from farming villages, so… Well, they’re not popular. They can be difficult, and the rewards are small. There are just so many goblins, you know?

  I suppose you could say they’re good beginner quests, but… Well…

  Oh, excuse me, someone’s just come in. Could we pick this up later?

  Ahem!

  Yes, hello! How can I help you?

  “Give me goblins.”

  “Orcbolg,” the elf said without preamble. Her voice rang out clear, as if she were intoning a spell.

  It was before noon, when the adventurers who had woken up late came to see what quests were still available. It was considerably calmer than first thing in the morning, but the Guild Hall was still filled with hubbub, and every eye was fixed on the elf.

  “Oh, man… Get a load of her!” A greenhorn warrior boy whistled appreciatively.

  “Hey!” his party member, an apprentice cleric girl, snapped.

  “Sorry,” the boy said with a placating smile, but his eyes kept darting back to the elf.

  It was hard to blame him. Elves were naturally possessed of an otherworldly beauty, but even among their number, this young woman was striking.

  Age has scant meaning for elves, but by appearance, she might have been taken for seventeen or eighteen years old. She was slender and tall, clad in close-fitting hunter’s garb, moving as gracefully as a deer.

  The great bow slung across her back showed she was a ranger or perhaps an archer. The rank tag around her neck was made of silver.

  “She’s a high elf… They’re the blood descendants of the faeries…”

  “Their ears really are longer than other elves’…”

  A druid and a rhea girl whispered with a half-elf light warrior while their other party member, a heavy warrior, looked on. A young scout listening nearby said knowingly, “Of course they do.”

  Guild Girl had dealt with high elves before and was not nervous about meeting this one, but she was baffled by the words that came out of the girl’s mouth.

  “I’m sorry, ma’am. Do you mean oak, like the tree?”

  She was used to people approaching the counter and simply saying the name of a monster, but this was a word she had never heard before. Then again, there are fifty thousand kinds of monsters (no exaggeration!), so it was possible this was some variety she wasn’t familiar with.

  Or perhaps it was the elf’s name? The elvish language had the rhythm of a spell or a song.

  “No. Orc. Orcbolg.” As she repeated the words, High Elf Archer tilted her head as if to say, Got it? Under her voice she added, “Strange…

  “I’d heard he was here.”

  “Um, I see. So you’re looking for an adventurer, then?” Guild Girl had many talents, but even she didn’t know the full names of all the adventurers by heart. She turned to get a thick directory from the shelf behind her, but then she heard:

  “Idiot. This is why you long-ears need to come down off that pedestal you’ve put yourselves on.”

  The words came from a stout, wide dwarf standing next to the elf. The only thing visible over the counter was his shiny, hairless forehead. He stroked his long white beard thoughtfully.

  His outfit was in an unusual eastern style, and at his waist, he carried what looked like a bunch of junk. Guild Girl could tell he was a spell caster—a dwarf shaman. He, too, wore a silver tag around his neck.

  “This place belongs to the tall people,” he said. “More fool you if you think your long-ears words are going to profit you anything.”

  “My, how helpful you are. Then what, in your wisdom, should I call him?” the high elf said with a snort and a rather un-elven expression.

  In response, Dwarf Shaman twisted his mustache proudly and said, “‘Beard-cutter,’ of course!”

  “Um, I’m sorry, sir, but there’s no one by that name here, either,” Guild Girl said apologetically.

  “What, no one?!” the dwarf said.

  “No, sir. I’m very sorry.”

  The high elf shook her head in an exaggerated gesture of disgust, accompanied by a broad shrug and a sigh.

  “So much for the wisdom of dwarves. Stubborn as the rocks they work, and always convinced they’re right.”

  “Come down here and say that!” Dwarf Shaman exclaimed. He might have started a fight then and there if the elf hadn’t been twice his height. He could barely have reached her if he’d jumped a foot off the ground. The elf grew increasingly smug.

  The dwarf ground his teeth. Then suddenly, he seemed to think of something, and an unexpected smile came over his face.

  “…Heh. You elves… Hearts as hard as anvils and just as flat. That explains it.”

  �
��What?!” This time it was the elf who turned bright red. She glared at the dwarf and unconsciously covered her chest.

  “Th-that has nothing to do with anything! F-funny to hear that from you, when all dwarf daughters are barrel-shaped!”

  “We call them plump, long-ears, and it’s better than being an anvil!”

  Their voices got louder and louder.

  The enmity between elves and dwarves was as old as the gods. No one knew, however, exactly how it had started—even the ageless elves were not quite sure. Perhaps it was simply that most ancient antipathy: The elves revered trees and loathed fire, while the dwarves felled trees to build fires.

  Whatever the source of this hatred, these two were not going to be the ones to overcome it, as they stood arguing in front of Guild Girl, who held an increasingly desperate smile on her face.

  “Um, let’s—let’s all get along, okay…?”

  “Excuse me, the two of you, but if you must quarrel, please do so elsewhere and spare the rest of us.” A long shadow fell over them, interrupting the argument.

  A lizardman towered over them, body covered in scales, hissing slightly foul breath. Even Guild Girl nearly let out a “yikes…” at the sight of him.

  She had never seen the traditional garb he wore. Around his neck was a silver tag, as well as a curious amulet.

  Lizard Priest joined his hands in an unusual gesture and bowed his head to Guild Girl. “Humble apologies. It seems my companions are causing trouble for you.”

  “Oh, n-not at all! All our adventurers are such passionate people. I-I’m used to this sort of thing!”

  Even so, the group before her was an unusual sight. It wasn’t just that they were different races.

  High elves were rare, but it wasn’t unheard of for young forest people to become adventurers to sate their curiosity about the world. Dwarves were much like humans in their love of treasure and derring-do, and so they often became adventurers. And while the lizardmen were sometimes seen as more akin to monsters, some of their tribes were friendly, and once in a great while, a lizardman might become an adventurer.

  But all three at once—and all of them Silver-ranked. For three adventurers of such different backgrounds to form a party together was something Guild Girl had never seen before.

  “Um…” Guild Girl looked from the elf and dwarf, whose argument had not yet abated, to the lizardman. Outwardly, he looked like he might bare his fangs and leap at her at any moment…

  “So…who are you looking for, sir?” Even so, he seemed like the easiest of the three to talk to.

  “Hmm. Lamentably, I myself lack facility for the tongues of men…”

  Guild Girl nodded along.

  “Orcbolg and Beard-cutter are what you would call nicknames. In your tongue, you might say…” He nodded gravely and, as she had somehow expected, said, “…Goblin Slayer.”

  “Oh!” Her face glowed, and she clapped her hands before she knew what she was doing. She suppressed the desire to give a shout of excitement.

  Other adventurers had come here just to find him. His reputation was spreading.

  I can’t let this opportunity get away, for his sake!

  “I know him, sir! Very well!”

  “Ah, do you now?!” The lizardman’s eyes widened and his tongue flitted out of his mouth, in what seemed to be the lizardman equivalent of a smile. Guild Girl didn’t even flinch at the rather ferocious expression.

  “Oh, would you like some tea perhaps?”

  “I could not bother you so.” He called to his companions, “The two of you, it seems the one we seek is indeed here.”

  “You see? I told you.”

  “Ahh, but you couldn’t tell them, could you, lass?”

  “Look who’s talking.”

  “What’s that?!”

  Lizard Priest let out a hiss. The elf and dwarf glared silently at each other.

  “Now then, milady Guild Girl. Where is milord Goblin Slayer?”

  “Um… He went off to hunt some goblins about three days ago.”

  “Oh-ho. I see. But of course.”

  “I expect he’ll be back soon, sir.” Guild Girl looked hopefully at the door of the Guild Hall. She was worried about him, of course, but confident he would return.

  He would never be defeated by mere goblins, after all.

  “There!” Guild Girl called out as the bell over the door jangled, and two adventurers entered.

  The lizardman, elf, and dwarf all turned toward the door…and were lost for words.

  A beautiful girl in holy vestments stood there, holding a sounding staff in her hands. A priestess. Excellent.

  The problem was the man who strode boldly before her. He wore dirty leather armor and a steel helm and carried a sword that seemed too long to wield, along with a small round shield. He looked pathetic. Any rookie on his first quest would have been better prepared.

  He walked to the counter without a pause. Priestess had to rush to stay with him, but as his pace slowed, she was finally able to come to his side.

  “Welcome back, my dear Goblin Slayer! Both of you look like you’re in good shape.” Guild Girl gave them a wide wave, her braid bouncing in time.

  “We finished the job safely.”

  “Yes, somehow.”

  Priestess’s addendum betrayed a hint of fatigue against Goblin Slayer’s calm report. She was smiling bravely, but… Guild Girl nodded. She could understand. Goblin Slayer took quests day after day, night after night, with almost no rest. Keeping up with him must be trying.

  “All right. Give me the details later. It doesn’t have to be right away.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yes. There are some visitors here to see you, Mr. Goblin Slayer.”

  He turned toward the party standing next to him as though noticing them for the first time: a high elf archer, a dwarf spell caster, and a lizard priest.

  Priestess let out a little squeak of shock and then quickly shut her mouth.

  “Are you goblins?”

  “Hardly!” High Elf Archer gave him a suspicious look as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing, but he simply replied, “I see.”

  “So, are you Orcbolg? You don’t look it…”

  “Because I’m not. I have never been called by that name.”

  The elf got a pinched look on her face, while the dwarf, stroking his beard, bit back a laugh. Lizard Priest, though looking rather bothered, seemed accustomed to this. He joined his hands in an odd gesture, then bowed his head gently to Goblin Slayer.

  “We humble visitors have business with milord Goblin Slayer. Could we beg a few morsels of your time?”

  “As you wish.”

  “If you’d like to have a meeting, we have rooms upstairs…” The lizardman made a gesture of gratitude toward Guild Girl for her suggestion.

  “Let us go, then.”

  Priestess had stood silently throughout the entire exchange but now said, with a slightly panicked look at Goblin Slayer as he made to leave, “U-um, sh-should I…? Should I j-join you?”

  He looked up and down her slim body, then shook his head.

  “You rest.”

  He didn’t seem to expect an argument. Priestess gave a little nod.

  And without a second look, Goblin Slayer went calmly up the stairs.

  “Don’t worry. You’ll get him back in one piece.” High Elf Archer gave Priestess a slight bow as she passed. The dwarf and the lizardman followed after her.

  Priestess stood there, alone.

  “Sigh…”

  All alone. She sat by the wall in the corner in the chair that seemed to be saved for him. Her hands wrapped around a cup of tea Guild Girl had brought her.

  He probably just wanted what was best for her. She raised the cup to her lips.

  “Ahh…” She sighed as a warmth spread through her body. Priestess had come to recognize this feeling as the effect of a Stamina potion.

  It was kind of Guild Girl to add this to the tea. It felt wonderful to Pri
estess’s tired body.

  Am I holding him back?

  He was of Silver rank, she merely Porcelain. Even despite this difference, she didn’t think she was a burden to him, but still…

  Priestess rubbed her eyes. Her eyelids were heavy.

  She could hear the babble of adventurers throughout the Guild Hall. It was crowded as it was every day. Something tugged at the edge of her hearing, words she couldn’t quite make out. She yawned.

  “Hey! Hey there!”

  “Whaa—?” When she heard the voice a second time, Priestess jolted awake, hurriedly straightening up.

  Standing in front of her was a young man who looked somehow nervous—also Porcelain-ranked.

  He was a greenhorn warrior she’d seen around before. Standing next to him was a girl, an apprentice cleric. From her neck hung the scales and sword, the symbols of the Supreme God, who oversaw law and justice.

  “You… I mean, you’re the girl who works with him, right?”

  “With…who?”

  “You know, that guy. He’s always wearing that helmet?” the cleric said in a high-pitched voice.

  “Oh,” Priestess said, her puzzlement evaporating. “You mean Mr. Goblin Slayer?”

  “Yeah, that’s him! Hey…” Warrior suddenly dropped his voice and looked around fearfully. “You’re Porcelain-ranked, too. How about you come with us?”

  Priestess caught her breath, silent. A torrent of emotions raged within her, threatening to split her heart in two.

  She clenched her fists and pushed back the onslaught. It was only a second before she slowly shook her head.

  “No. Thank you, but no.”

  “But he’s a weirdo! What kind of Silver rank hunts nothing but goblins?” Warrior asked frowning. Any normal Silver rank would go after bigger stuff.

  “Yeah,” Cleric said, peering around the room with concern herself. “And dragging around a rookie, too. You know some people think you’re his prisoner?” Are you all right?

  “I even heard the reason he goes off hunting goblins by himself is something…weird. Know what I mean?”

  “Now, that’s not—!” Priestess’s voice rose reflexively.

  “Now, now. No bullying.” Their collective emotions were soothed by a gentle, sweet voice that suddenly broke in. When had she gotten there? How long had she been there? Witch, with her sensuous body and a silver tag around her neck, was standing right next to them.